# 𝙀𝙎𝙀𝙇𝙐𝙉𝘼 :ㅤflickering lights, echoing far like a dying star that has yet to reach our solar system.ㅤextremely low activity, mutuals onlyㅤ𝙢𝙪𝙡𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙤𝙢 𝙢𝙪𝙡𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙚,ㅤfeaturing characters from various media in animation, video games, anime and podcasts.ㅤ𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗰𝘀 ㅤ: to our countless nights writ in the sky, waiting and dreaming / to words we have left unsaid and unanchored, escaping us when we need it most / above all else, to have heart, hope, and healing.
does not typically follow first. ㅤㅤadults (21+ years old) only. ㅤminors and non-roleplay blogs will be blocked.ㅤㅤplease read my guidelines on my carrd before following.ㅤㅤ[ … ]ㅤㅤas adored by 𝙘𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙖 (she/her, 25+).
❝ you will never be rid of me, accept it. accept me. ❞ / hoshina. 🩷
gen has never had a fear of drowning.
he'd never considered the act of swimming as anything more than a childish activity, a skill learned early in life that would never be properly required. he never cared for the sport, always bothered with other full body exercises— it was just one of many concepts that he simply had no reason to bother with.
gen has never been afraid of drowning, because he's made sure to never be found in a situation where he couldn't swim. but now, staring at the profundity that was soshiro hoshina, he can't remember how to catch his breath.
he was, in a word: overwhelming. suffocatingly so, intense in every aspect of himself.
gen has never had a fear of drowning but he imagines it must feel something similar to this— terrifying helpless in the face of an extensive vastness, unable to move against the currents that push you down. soshiro keeps him pinned, pressed against dampening sheets and a wall of muscle, pressed so entirely within him that gen couldn't tell where one ended and another began.
it was too much; it had already been too much before the bastard started opening his mouth to spew such sentimental bullshit. gen had expected taunts / jeers / ridicule and mockery because soshiro knew what those cruel words did to him, how they left him. instead of degrading comments, soshiro had begun to whisper confessions of love and devotion. the shock had been so much that he nearly shoved him out.
but soshiro is cruel / crueler than what most would ever believe, because he simply presses himself closer and shoves his cock deeper and makes sure gen has no choice but to face his emotions head on. there is no option for running away. the bastard even has the nerve to—— stop. he remains completely still inside him.
❛ stooop, don't— don't be mean, soshiro. don't stop, don't press so much— why'd you stoooop? ❜ the words are whined out, sounding more like cries than anything else. the accompanying tears that start to flow do little to help the cause, overstimulated and frustrated and desperate for a release that would've been just within reach if soshiro hadn't been so heartless. gen can't even roll his hips to chase any friction between them, soshiro had left no space for anything between them. it would've been comforting, if it wasn't for that foreign emotion on soshiro’s face.
it was far too soft. the way he spoke his name / the way his thumbs swiped away the tears / the way soshiro was looking at him as if gen was more man than monster— as if he had never been a monster at all. it was too soft, it was too raw; never before in their fooling around had gen felt so exposed, as if his very core had been splintered apart for soshiro to examine. every hushed confession was just another weight onto a slumped heart, every quiet kiss placed on heated skin was just another sob forced out of his throat.
it was terrifying. the human heart / soshiro’s heart was too terrifying of an ocean, and gen was drowning. how desperate he was to run away, to escape and return to the normality of dry land— to when they were nothing more than rivals who fooled around when left alone in the quiet of an empty training hall. before the emotions started to seep past tolerance and annoyance / before defending one another on the battlefield of that kaiju fight / before gen had woken up to seeing soshiro there, every day, waiting for his full recovery.
trembling hands reach up, as if that alone would be enough to stop soshiro from dragging gen deeper into unknown waters. it earns him kisses along every finger, each one searing off the flesh from bone.
i love yous are whispered between the cracks. gen feels like he could vomit.
❛ i don't— i can't— i can't give you what you want. i don't know— i don't know how! ❜ how could anyone ever love an abandoned mutt like him? how could gen ever properly reciprocate, when he doesn't even know the meaning of the word? it was just too much / there was just too much that he didn't know—— it was terrifying. he felt his heart beating against the confines of his chest, desperate to break out of its ribbed cage to flee from the scene. ❛ i can't, i— ❜ i'm too afraid dies on his tongue. a single shred of pride pierces through the fog of desire to keep from looking like a complete and utter fool; although, naked and pressed beneath soshiro, with tears and drool and precum staining his marked body, perhaps that ship has already sailed.
but soshiro is just as stubborn as gen could be / unrelenting in his cruel onslaught despite gen's broken begs for mercy. true to the title of his rival, soshiro meets every defiance with a stability that leaves gen disarmed; you're only saying that because the sex is good / i've loved ya for years. we're nothing more than rivals / we've been more than rivals for a while. i don't know how to love you / we can learn as we grow. i'm terrified, soshiro / so am i, gen.
❛ ya will never be rid of me, gen. accept it— accept me. ❜
it sounded like a prayer / like the begging of a man who has nothing left to lose after giving everything away. it was overwhelming— suffocatingly so, intense in every way he knew soshiro could be. it was terrifying the way the ocean was, a sharp descend into the unfamiliar with no way of knowing what was to come. it was unrelenting / it was heartless / it was—
constant. ever constant, always present the way soshiro had been ever since their first meeting. it was a show of devotion to all aspects that built the weapon that was narumi gen, it was a sign of determination that spoke to the genuineness of his words. it was a declaration / a promise to remain and to return, no matter what. he will never be rid of him. soshiro will never go away— gen could trust in that to be true. he wouldn't be abandoned again.
❛ you're so annoying. you're so fucking annoying, soshiro. ❜ the lustful haze has long been shattered in the face of fearful panic, clear minded enough to scowl despite the tears still streaking. ❛ you couldn't have done this after? you just had to confess all that sappy shit now, with your dick fully in me? ❜ there was no heat / no bite. there was nothing but false bravado and an almost fond cadence to the words. eyes shift to look away for a second before he's properly looking at soshiro again, face shifting through various shades of red at the embarrassment of it all.
he really couldn't stand this guy.
❛ okay, fine! fine, whatever— i accept you, alright? ❜ the words settle alongside the knot in his stomach, feeling far too vulnerable within the silence that stretches. it doesn't help that soshiro looks so stupidly starstruck, pupils blown and mouth agape. as if he wasn't the one who started all of this! ❛ can we keep going already? either that, or get off so we can wash off. you're crushing my fucking lungs. ❜
₊˚⊹ ㅤa collection of loose quotes taken from the last kingdom (netflix, 2015). these quotes are from various seasons and characters of the tv show. writing/roleplaying prompts. from fluff to angst! feel free to edit as you see fit; happy writing!
❝ not everybody enjoys a fool. ❞
❝ if you’re afraid, you may stand down. i shall protect you. ❞
❝ i will not abandon you. ❞
❝ oh, for goodness’ sake, stop behaving like a child. ❞
❝ we cannot wait any longer. ❞
❝ let us enjoy an early morning, the two of us. ❞
❝ may we share the fire? ❞
❝ do you believe i have betrayed you? ❞
❝ i shall leave you to your prayers. ❞
❝ you have a choice to make, that is all. ❞
❝ then i choose you as my greatest friend. ❞
❝ have i ever mentioned that you are too good for god alone? ❞
❝ destiny is all. ❞
❝ one path looks like another. ❞
❝ you will learn respect one day, i’m sure. ❞
❝ i don’t know any prayers for this. ❞
❝ i fear you might be too good for me. ❞
❝ ale and warm company, what more could i ask for? silver, maybe. ❞
❝ well? use your tongue. ❞
❝ a kill is something you must fashion. ❞
❝ this is your decision? final? ❞
❝ if your god’s with you, you’re a lucky man. ❞
❝ stupid? maybe, it seems to be in my nature. ❞
❝ promise me, swear it. give me that comfort. ❞
❝ how can i make a promise that i cannot keep? ❞
❝ courage is finding the will to overcome your fear, nothing more. ❞
❝ fear is within all of us, as is strength. ❞
❝ fear can be expelled with knowledge. ❞
❝ you will never be rid of me, accept it. accept me. ❞
❝ all regret is worthless. ❞
❝ do we follow them? ❞
❝ that’s your face when you have no plan. ❞
❝ my thanks—for last night. ❞
❝ drink well, feast well. you have earned it. ❞
❝ sacrifices were made so you would live. ❞
❝ nothing finishes an evening in an alehouse so well as a fight. ❞
❝ how did you manage to get such a big head into such a small helmet? ❞
❝ i prefer the company of the gods to stupid men. ❞
❝ land and silver are what all men desire, and i’m no different. ❞
❝ you will see me again, be sure of it. ❞
❝ if i die, i will haunt you to the end of your days. ❞
❝ you have plenty of insults for a man who can no longer wield a sword. ❞
❝ what do you want of me? ❞
❝ lower your weapon. ❞
❝ you are angry because i am dying. ❞
❝ forgive me, i did not know where else to go. ❞
❝ you have a good heart—despite the tales. ❞
❝ sometimes i think that my fate is to wander and to never arrive. ❞
❝ from time to time, you may wish to call me arseling. ❞
❝ that’s the curse of life, to think of what might have been. ❞
❝ we carry our losses, but we journey onward. ❞
❝ we can suffer or we can rule. ❞
❝ i do not seek battles, battles just seem to seek me. ❞
❝ i have given half my life to you, i will give no more. ❞
❝ there is no justice here, only the church. ❞
❝ i will not stand by and have everything that’s mine taken from me. ❞
❝ we are one, you and i. ❞
❝ you dare die, and i will kill you myself. ❞
❝ we need more ale. ❞
❝ every lord is the hero of his own ongs. ❞
❝ a good king relies upon good advice. ❞
❝ men who take their orders from the gods are unpredictable. ❞
❝ i will wait for you in the halls of our ancestors. will you find me? ❞
❝ i might stay for a short while longer, if you’ll have me. ❞
❝ what kind of hell is this? ❞
❝ i only wish for an honourable death… ❞
❝ they will cheer for you in valhalla, and i will sing for you here on earth. ❞
❝ you lied to me. ❞
❝ i only sought to help you find redemption. ❞
❝ i wish to go back to my old life. ❞
❝ that time is over. ❞
❝ yet, there is hope, even in all this despair. ❞
❝ we can build a new home. ❞
a canvas of mockery, illusory starlight shining down upon bonded souls.ㅤform this distance away from the house,ㅤperched above the favor tree,ㅤit is easy for you to blanket us in the safety of idling.ㅤyou have already seen how this scene ends.ㅤbut it is not a matter of knowing this time,ㅤand this journey has never been about you.ㅤhe asked to exhaust all possibilities to break our loop,ㅤand you have given.ㅤperhaps he will even be grateful for your 'hangout' offering a rare change of pace amongst the monotonous acting,ㅤthe face-saving,ㅤthe endless looping.
your legs swing precariously over the foliage,ㅤteetering the danger at a height like this.ㅤyou are above dying,ㅤbut the thrill of hazards like this is a good way to remind yourself that you are still—someone, to some capacity.ㅤyou toss a glance over your shoulder and note the new bags under siffrin's eyes.ㅤ❝what, you can face off the king but you won't chance sitting close to the edge? the view is better here, stardust. you'll have my protection.❞ㅤ/ㅤ@starfrin ♡
literally the only people who will understand this right now are two people i follow ( i think ) but ( isat spoilers but like phrased vaguely )
holy shit i saw someone say loop returned to their time because they know how to save their friends and. oh. that's gonna be my head canon now. my astral gender-nuked disaster
the memories were still fuzzy at the edges but— gen could remember that he never liked hospitals. the blinding lights / the uncomfortable beds / the shitty food; a prisoner in these four walls, trapped by his own humanistic shortcomings and reckless abandonment for his well being. and he wasn’t even permitted the use of electronic devices, in fear that the strain could cause further injury to a mind still in recovery. but the cherry on top of this shitty cake was that whenever gen would open his eyes, it was always to be greeted by an irritating smile and a bad haircut.
there has not been a moment since his initial hospitalization that @eseluna had not been a constant presence in his room— sometimes hidden among a crowd of officers, or simply seated by gen’s side when it was just the two of them. it had been confusing, at first; his recollections were blurred together, smudged memories hanging in the broken gallery of his mind. but there hadn’t been much opportunity for conversation at the start, as gen’s time was mostly spent sleeping. but slowly did his recollection grow, and confusion turned to agitation at hoshina’s insistence. not even the doctors spent this much time with him, but he couldn’t fathom a proper explanation for his behavior. the recovery process was going well, with conversations of his discharge happening within a week or so. brain activity had been within normal parameters according to his latest exam, and gen had even been granted the green light to continue the use of his kaiju weapon ( with some limitations put in place, naturally. not like he would actually listen! ) and still, hoshina never once budged from his seat.
as if he really cared. it was unnatural.
or was it something crueler? was it a mockery, an act of constant supervision the way one would need to give a misbehaving child? did hoshina consider himself so weak that he would disappear so easily from view? the thought makes him scowl, though it settles more into a frown as gen glances over to where he sits. ❛ why are you always here? ❜ it was unnatural. the room felt too crowded / too small for such big emotions— gen hated hospitals.
which version of narumi will he meet today, he wonders?ㅤsince his hospital confinement,ㅤnarumi remains ever unpredictable each time soshiro steps in the room,ㅤtemperament like changing seasons:ㅤa face slackened with fatigue,ㅤdeathly paleㅤ/ㅤa begrudging acceptance that soshiro is here to stay for the dayㅤ/ㅤand fewer chances is a peaceful repose broken only by their breathing and soshiro's page flips—
( and in only two instances that soshiro never wishes to relieve:ㅤa blankness to dull scarlet eyes,ㅤvoice low and words spoken far too polite.ㅤa greeting that brings soshiro back to a short-lived victory when he held narumi, fading in his arms.ㅤhis heart is stoppingㅤ/ his throat gurgledㅤ/ㅤand narumi believed himself dying in the arms of a stranger, soshiro as his deliverance— )
but today,ㅤas soshiro quells the his stammering heartbeat,ㅤnarumi seems to converge within himself.ㅤtheir shared quiet crackles with restlessness through the spiked beats of narumi's monitor even when he is wordless.ㅤsoshiro assumes it is not a day for conversation and had absorbed himself in his book by narumi's bedside as he's always done.ㅤthat is until the tension crescendos when narumi finds himself and speaks.ㅤlavender gaze flits up to meet angry hues.ㅤwhy are you always here? why won't you leave?
soshiro shrugs.ㅤ❝can't be helped, there's more free days with how quiet the kaiju attacks have been.❞ㅤa half truth.ㅤeven after a kaiju threat has been dispatched,ㅤsoshiro's ensured to include narumi before retiring for the day.ㅤ❝it's peaceful here.❞ㅤanother half truth.ㅤis there really peace for soshiro when he could've been stronger to prevent this?ㅤbrow arcs, smile lopsided.ㅤ❝and i've told ya before haven't i, captain? i like keeping ya on your toes.❞
So, you're stuck in a time loop! Fun, right? Which means that every time you die, you'll loop back, and you'll get to try it all over again! No matter how horribly or stupidly you die, like, let's say, making a whole new dual muse blog for 𝙎𝙄𝙁𝙁𝙍𝙄𝙉 and 𝙇𝙊𝙊𝙋 from 𝗂𝗇𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗍𝖽𝗂𝗌𝖼𝟧's hit indie game 𝙄𝙉 𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙍𝙎 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙏𝙄𝙈𝙀, you'll always come back!
[ What should I do now?]
Hm, let's see... have you tried Not Dying??? I dunno! Just an idea! If that doesn't work, you could always try liking and reblogging this post to tell your little team about the loops you're stuck in. You're a smart cookie, Stardust, you'll figure it out!
𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓, 𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐄 !! The curtain rises and you already know your part. Play your part. You've been here before. Don't forget. There's a role that only you can play. It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. 𝙊𝙃, 𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙍𝘿𝙐𝙎𝙏, we're really in it now.
My tags have been dropped, the pinned is posted; some starting icons have been made to give me a pretty decent start. That said, please give this post a like or reblog if you're interested in writing with an 𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 multimuse account looped and cherished by your local gay, Vic.
Please make sure you read my pinned and rules prior to following, everything you need to know is posted there. Mature and potentially triggering themes ahead. Crossover, OC and duplicate muse friendly!
im not technically active but hoshina's fears encapsulated by the buried because it's terrifying that he's trapped himself not in tradition but in his own pride to be a defender, that he may not actually protect anyone and that his father was right, he Should have given up
