nianne @espasyosakublihan - Tumblr Blog

Reminds Me Of You

Mag-iisang taon na pala mula nang nagsimula kami sa panibagong buhay matapos umalis si Nanay. Nakakapanibago pa rin ang pakiramdam. Oo, masasanay ka, pero araw-araw mo pa ring dala ang bigat. Grieving is such a strange thing, no? Minsan akala mo gumagaan na, tapos biglang may simpleng bagay na magpapaalala, at babalik lahat ng sakit. And in the midst of all this, I’m learning to accept that I carry a part of you with me in every step. Lagi kang nasa isip at puso ko. At kahit mahirap, kahit magulo, kahit nakakapagod, I will keep trying. And through it all, I am deeply grateful for the love and strength you left behind because they continue to guide me every single day.

#entry #espasyosakublihan #2026 #july

kiwilikethefruittt

your health is more important than any task that you need to get done

remanence-of-love

Trying Not To Lie

Today, I found myself replaying a simple yet heavy question asked by a friend, “If there’s an opportunity for you to work abroad, would you take it?”

At that moment, I could only say, “I purely don’t know.” It was short, almost empty, but it was the truest answer I had.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized why those words felt so heavy. I look at my mother, who has been working abroad, and I see the quiet strength it takes to leave behind so much for the sake of an opportunity, an opportunity to change our lives. It’s not just about distance, it’s about sacrifice, about missing moments, about carrying the weight of hope for everyone back home.

And me? I am not that brave. I cannot yet carry the same strength my mother has shown.

So yes, my answer was short. But behind it lies the truth, I admire the bravery of those who take that leap, even if I’m not ready to follow the same path.

#espasyosakublihan #july #2026 #entry

A Bad Habit

I have a bad habit of leaving. I walk away from things without saying a word, and sometimes from people too, leaving thoughts unspoken and endings unfinished. It is where I feel most at ease, though I know it is not a good place to stay. That is why I call it a bad habit.

When I decide to leave, it is final. You will not feel me again, not even in the smallest ways. It is as if I erase myself from the spaces I once occupied. And yet, I wonder, would you really blame me?

Perhaps it is my way of protecting myself, of keeping silence where words might only wound. Perhaps it is my way of choosing peace, even if it means absence. Still, I carry the weight of knowing that leaving without explanation can hurt more than staying.

#entry #espasyosakublihan #2026 #last day of the month

perfectquote

“You can’t be strong all the time. Sometimes you just need to be alone and let your tears out.”

— Unknown

remanence-of-love

probuccalfat

dead serious normalize having an average boring ass life where you have enough to meet your needs we do not need to be remarkable we just need to be alive

Surviving Second Semester

Finally, I managed to open my account today after struggling to log in for the past few days. What a relief. I’ve got a few stories to tell about those attempts, but let me start with how I’ve been surviving my second semester.

My first OSCE happened last week. Honestly, I don’t even know how to put it into words. I had my mistakes, and at first I felt really devastated. But as time passed, I realized this is part of the journey I chose. At the end of the day, I’m just a student learning, and even with the stress, it was kind of fun in its own way.

There was another moment that left me disheartened. After the assessment, when we finally got our phones back, I saw a message that really disappointed me. It made me realize how selfish some people can be. I could not look at them the same way again. I hope the best for them, but the disappointment lingers.

So here I am, writing this mix of relief and frustration. Relief that I finally logged in, and frustration from the things I’ve had to face. I guess that’s just part of being a student. It’s messy, challenging, and sometimes even fun in ways I don’t expect.

#espasyosakublihan #entry #kamusta #may #2026

New Beginnings

I didn’t think I would find myself writing here again, especially with so many new things waiting ahead of me. I wasn’t able to welcome the year here, so let me say it now: happy new year, even if it comes a little late. I truly hope you are all doing well, and I wish only good things for each of you.

You might be wondering what brought me back to write again. The reason is the same as before. I always come here whenever my mind feels too full, whenever I need a place to let my thoughts breathe. After finishing Lighter & Princess, I realized that I am learning once more what it means to keep moving forward. There is a line from the series that stayed with me: “As long as I’m still alive, go on learning.”

That line feels like a gentle reminder, something I was meant to hear. It is what I want to hold onto in moments when I feel lost or burned out, because it reminds me of my purpose. I am here to keep learning, to keep moving forward.

So here’s to new beginnings, to lessons waiting to be discovered, and to the quiet strength of reminding ourselves why we continue. Once again, happy new year. I will see you here next month.

#entry #espasyosakublihan #march #2026 #happy new year

Trying This Out: My 2025 AI Wrapped (Red & Green Flag Edition)

Since patapos na ang taon, nakisali na rin ako sa trend. I asked my most-used AI (Gemini) to give me a "Wrapped" report based on all our conversations and prompts this year. Apparently, my AI knows me better than I know myself, lol.

So, ito na ang red and green flags ko for 2025:

The Green Flags: "The Insight Seeker"

Curiosity Overload: According to my chat history, hindi lang daw ako basta "nagtatanong." Parang "Deep Diver" raw ako. Kapag may topic akong itatanong, hindi ako tumitigil hangga't hindi ko nage-gets yung nilalaman.

Collaborative Vibe: Sabi ni Gemini, I treat our chats like a partnership. I’m clear with what I want, but I also know how to explore ideas together.

The Optimizer: My prompts show that I’m always looking for ways to make things better whether it’s my workflow or just organizing my thoughts. I like efficiency, and it shows.

The Red Flags: "The 'One More Thing' Syndrome"

The Chronic Follow-Up: This is the biggest call-out. I have this habit of saying "last question na" or "thank you," tapos biglang hirit ng panibagong five questions. Zero chill pagdating sa "wrapping up" ng convo.

Feature FOMO: I am officially obsessed with the "New." Kapag may bagong update or tool, andiyan agad ako para gamitin o i-try.

The Information Hoarder: I love summaries and bullet points a little too much. My red flag is that I want everything categorized and "wrapped" because tamad ako mag-backread sa sarili kong memories.

Looking back at these flags, na-realize ko na digital footprint nga naman talaga ang best way to see how much we've changed (or stayed the same) this year. Cheers to more prompts, more 'one more thing' questions, and a smarter 2026 for all of us!

#entry #december #2025 wrapped #happy new year

I Wonder...

How do people stay friends for a long time? I think about my OG barkada. We have been together for years. Sometimes they still feel close. Other times they feel far.

Have I felt different from them? Yes. Often. We share old stories and inside jokes. They make me smile, but when life gets heavy the bond feels thin. It is like we are all holding our own weight and no one wants to add more.

I wonder what to call this friendship now. Is it loyalty? Is it convenience? Is it comfort from the past? I notice we show up for each other when things are light. Birthdays. Graduation. Weekend plans. In the hard times we go quiet.

I know they have their own struggles. I have mine too. When I am not okay I keep to myself. I do not reach out. Maybe that is part of why this feels uneven. Maybe I am afraid to be a burden. Maybe they are too.

Still there is a kind of peace in knowing they exist in my life. Even in small ways. A message here and there. A photo from the past. A quick laugh that reminds me of who we were. Is this what long friendship looks like? A mix of warm memories and careful distance. Or am I holding on because it is familiar and safe?

I keep wondering if we will still be like this in the years ahead. We are entering our twenty fourth year of life, trying to figure out this whole adulting thing. Will we keep showing up only for the happy times? Will we still go quiet when things get hard?

#entry #espasyosakublihan #november #i miss them