💀💀💀

she's the giggle at a funeral    /    knows everybody's disapproval

[doneworse]

𝖒𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖎  -  𝖒𝖚𝖘𝖊.         𝖑𝖔𝖜  𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖎𝖙𝖞.         𝖉𝖆𝖘𝖍  𝖔𝖓𝖑𝖞.           ft.   original  characters  from  it   ( 2017 / 19 )  &  barry   ( hbo ). 

[estkrs]

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑    :    𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐁𝐀𝐋 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒. 3. my muse gives yours a piggy back ride   @skatedfear​

                    they don’t need to talk about it. at least, eloise doesn’t think they need to. stuff like this happens. it’s just what childhood is made for. mistakes and accidents that make for perfectly good ( albeit sometimes unwanted ) lessons. that’s something her father would say. instead of crying or wallowing in it  —  learn. overcome. move on. for something like this? that’s easy. all it took was one little misstep for both girls to go tumbling down the embankment. with knees and elbows scratched up by dirt and twigs, and leaves in her hair, eloise laughs it off. still, a part of her can tell it wasn’t an easy fall for the both of them. eloise will admit it was her fault. she was the one that wanted to go this way, after all. they weren’t necessarily too far from the clubhouse, but it was still a ways off.

she doesn’t point out the obvious. not this time. instead, she makes an offer as she picks herself up off the ground and helps reggie onto her feet.   “ go ahead and climb on. ”   she gestures to her back after brushing off the front of her shirt. reluctance is expected, so she tries again.   “ c’mon. i can carry you the rest of the way. easy. ”   she owes her that much. but it’s not so much obligation that forces her decision  —  it’s because she genuinely wants to help. she wants to do right by her new friends. with a little more coaxing, she’s able to pick reggie up. mirrors what her older brothers would do for her when they were around.

one step after the other, confidence has her grinning.   “ see? i’m stronger than you think! ”   steady on her feet, eloise is determined to get them there the rest of the way.

[estkrs]

SAVELOSERS.

Ben could always count on Eliose to make the first move. It was her speciality, sensing Ben’s uncertainty and striding straight into action before he could even really understand what was going on. That’s what he missed. Someone knowing him better than he knows himself. And it makes him sad that he was just remembering her, just remembering how much he missed her, now, instead of 30 years ago. Now that he can hold her, though, he does. Very tightly. Arms constrict around her middle, lifting her slightly from the asphalt, chin all but tucked into the crook of her bent shoulder. His intention is not to make her uncomfortable as he breathes her in, but to merely make sure he doesn’t miss anything new about Eloise. He wanted to know everything. He wanted all of it.

27 years… Was it really that long? Were they really that much older this time, compared to the first time they’d fought It? The memories seem far away, but the time between them does not. Everything is warped, twisted. Ben can barely know what’s real, and what he’s made up, but feeling Eloise, solid in his arms, was enough to convince that she, at least, was there. Real. Not a monster, but his long lost friend. Ben doesn’t want to let go as he says, “I can’t believe this is happening again… I didn’t even remember I lived here until I crossed the border into town,”

old habits reemerge like nothing. as if 27 years hadn’t separated them so cruelly, eloise finds it easy to latch onto him. careful fingers taking fistfuls of the back of his jacket. as if she could hug him any tighter. it’s just like she would as a kid. what she does resist is the urge to plant a kiss to his cheek. as kids, it wouldn’t have mattered. but child-like innocence had since been grown out of. tarnished. boundaries, she has to remind herself. boundaries keep everyone comfortable. boundaries keep things safe. besides, she hadn’t kissed anyone on the cheek in years. not since— she pushes it out of her mind. replaces it with a newfound realization.

“ my dad … my dad still lives here. ”   as it dawns on her, it’s enough for her to pull herself away from ben. arms unwind and she rests her palms flat on his chest to gently create space between them.   “ he’s retired but he— ”   it’s been months since she’s spoken to him. she has to fight it off  —  the worry that sparks.   “ i forgot until he would call me. it was always brief, but as soon as the call would end and i’d get back to what i was doing, i’d forget all over again. until his next call. but i haven’t heard from him in a while. ”   being in derry now, it comes back to her. the conversations over the years. asking about her friends, only to be dismissed. because no, she didn’t remember, and no, she didn’t have time for this. but he still lived in the same house. he tried for years to find the missing kids. obsessed over it:  that’s what she remembers now. this town drove him mad. fear grips her at the notion of paying him a visit. at some point, she’ll have to. but for now:   “ can we head inside? ”

[spaceportfloozy]

ASL Interpretation: Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us by Jefferson Starship

[estkrs]

SAVELOSERS.

“Do you want me to be honest with you?” That’s more of a rhetorical question. if if she said no- which she wouldn’t- Ben would tell her the truth, anyway. Everyone is owned that much; Ben wasn’t much of a liar. He searches a few more pages before closing one book and opening another. “From what I’ve read and seen so far… yeah. Yeah, I think it’s gonna get much worse,”

for a minute, she falls silent. takes care in folding the missing posters and pushes them aside. out of sight, but not out of mind. it terrifies her to think that her face could be on the next poster  —  it terrifies her even more if the face on the next poster ended up being one of her friends. she thinks back to richie finding his missing poster and she pales. she wasn’t there, but she heard. just like she heard of the temporary split of the group. broken apart, they didn’t stand a chance.   “ what … what are you looking for now? ”

[estkrs]

SKATEDFEAR.

    𝐒𝐇𝐄'𝐒      𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆      𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄      𝐁𝐄𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐃,                     one    last    look    at    the    wall    of    missing    kids    before    eyes    turn    away.      it’s      always      harder      and      harder      to      look      away.      her    arm    adjusts    to    carrying    the    board    stored    under    it,    shifting    so    the    wheels    weren’t    constantly      smacking     the    middle    of    her    back.           ❛           i    don’t    know.    i    think      soon.      i    mean,    if    we    count    from    the    date    the      first      kid      went    missing           -           it’s    been    eating    for    awhile    now.    it      has      to    end    soon.           ❜           she    was    hoping,    at    least.      maybe,      just      maybe,      they    would    get    lucky    and    never    have    to    face    it.           ❛           i    mean    …    how    much    could    one    monster    eat    ?           ❜

one way or another, they’d find out. with any luck, this would all pass. summer would come to an end  —  and the population of derry would be just a fraction less.   children lost   /   forgotten   /   eaten.   it feels wrong to want to count herself lucky for having lasted this long. she’s more concerned about reggie and the others. herself? not so much.   “ i don’t think it even eats everything. it just eats the bits it wants. and the rest— ”   she doesn’t want to know what it does with the rest. it’s once they’re out on the sidewalk again that she offers a hand. she’s the one that needs the reassurance; not that she would admit it.   “ my mom grew up here, i think? that’s what my dad said  —  but she doesn’t like it here. ”   eloise isn’t so sure she likes it here either.

[estkrs]

👀 since eloise is a side blog, i’m following y’all back from @rtzrs

[litprompts]

   ❥       𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 : 𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐁𝐀𝐋 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.                 ↳ for fun send ‘♥’ for one chosen at random & switch muse places as wanted.

1. your muse carries / helps mine to bed 2. your muse falls asleep on mine 3. my muse gives yours a piggy back ride 4. my muse takes care of yours while sick 5. your muse visits mine in the hospital 6. my muse reads to your muse 7. your muse cooks for mine 8. my muse comforts yours while they’re crying 9. my muse gives up their coat in the cold 10. your muse brings mine their favorite drink/food 11. your muse tries to make mine laugh 12. my muse brings your muse a gift 13. my muse washes your muse’s hair 14. your muse kisses mine on the forehead 15. your muse gives mine a back / shoulder massage 16. my muse rubs your muses feet / legs 17. my muse comforts yours after a nightmare 18. your muse surprises mine by doing all their house chores 19. your muse brings groceries 20. my muse cuddles up to yours in their sleep 21. our muses watch a movie together 22. our muses hold hands somewhere beautiful 23. our muses take a warm bath together 24. our muses travel to a new place together 25. our muses get stuck at the top of the ferris wheel together

[estkrs]

some fun eloise tidbits

ever since she was little, she’s had a fascination with death. she’s not scared of what comes after - she’s only scared of leaving her loved ones behind.

she’s somewhere on the medium scale. ie: the time she fully witnessed her grandfather at his own funeral. it was more acute when she was younger, but now ... she doesn’t notice it as much.

she partakes in casual taxidermy. collecting and displaying bugs has always been her favorite though. so yes, she has an extensive collection on display.

she has two pets. a german shepard named atlas, and a red kneed tarantula named harriet. * when she’s away / back in derry, she has a kind enough coworker that’ll watch them for her.

she’s very apprehensive around cats. which has everything to do with a very specific memory, all thanks to pennywise.

every now and then, she participates in some casual stand-up. she’ll frequent open mics to run off some material here and there. blow off some steam. dry, morbid humor is her schtick. * one time she actually ran into richie but since leaving derry, neither remembered the other though there was a deep feeling of the other being familiar.

[estkrs]

SAVELOSERS.

The memory of Eloise is the first that comes back to him. They had been best friends, hadn’t they? Opposite personalities, together in the library, where Ben had to shush her- more often than not with a smile- when she got just a little too excited about the bugs she had brought with her. How had he forgotten in the first place? How had he forgotten her? It seemed impossible now, to forget someone like Eloise Stoker.

Ben turns with a surprised smile. She looks the same and different, all at once. A woman, now. The last time he’d seen her, she was a girl. The features, though- her expression; her voice, though deeper, is exactly the same. Something swells in his chest- he’s happy to see her. More than happy. “Define alright,” he says first, and can’t help but chuckle. No, it’s not alright. Nothing is alright. Ben steps a bit closer, but stops himself. He needs to stay in bounds. Doesn’t know the boundaries, now that so much time has passed. Hands remain in his pockets. “Everyone’s here, but pretty shaken up already,” a pause. “I’m glad you came,”

the closer she got to derry, the more she remembered. little by little, faint memories pieced themselves together. in a way, it was as if the town was luring her in. gently, at first. offering all things pleasant at first. from her time spent in the clubhouse, to the afternoons tucked away in a corner of the library. both instances she often found herself with ben. but other memories claw their way out from the grave they were buried in. from her father drinking heavily at the kitchen table  /  her mother’s distressed voice from outside her door  /  and the feral cats outside her window. she shudders. goosebumps travel up along her forearms, but it’s the sleeves of her jacket that keeps them hidden.   “ getting here in one piece seems like a reasonable definition to hope for. ”   she can feel it in the air though. how it seems to seep out of the house  —  undeniable dread.

standing in front of him now, eloise can picture him clearly in his youth. despite the sands of time throwing them into adulthood, there’s no escaping the vision of the young boy she would follow hopelessly after. like some young duckling following its mother  —  she knows she’d still follow him now. she was here after all. naturally, she mirrors his step. he might not take the initiative, but that was what she was for. there’s a moment of hesitation, but she still extends her arms and pulls him into a hug. the exact same way she would have when they were younger: announced, but affectionate all the same.   “ i can imagine. ”   muffled at first, it’s only because she’s holding on to him for as long as she can.   “ we’ve been through this before, ben. say the word, and i’ll be there. ”

[mikaeled]

Mary Elizabeth Winstead in BrainDead S1E11

[estkrs]

a playlist for @savelosers,  bc i like suffering and letting others suffer with me.

STILL INTO YOU  —  paramore      /      STOP THE WORLD I WANNA GET OFF WITH YOU  —  arctic monkeys      /      FALLINGFORYOU  —  the 1975      /      MERCY  —  shawn mendes      /      OUT OF MY LEAGUE  —  fitz and the tantrums      /      LITTLE TALKS  —  of monsters and men      /      I FOUND  —  amber run      /      THE KIDS AREN'T ALRIGHT  —  fall out boy      /      GHOST  —  halsey      /      SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW  —  lily allen

[estkrs]

SKATEDFEAR.

    𝐋𝐈𝐏𝐒      𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒      𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑,                     a    sudden    interest    in    her    sock    with    the    hole    right    on    the    top.    she      hates      talking    about    the    posters           -            about      anything      relating    to    the    missing    kids.           ❛           probably.    i    mean,    there’s    always    a      grand      finale.      ben    said    so.           ❜

but did it have to be a bad finale? couldn’t it be something good for a change? she can’t quite bring herself to ask. fear has it’s way of wrapping around her heart    /    bound in what seems like vine after vine, with no letting up. the thorns on those metaphorical vines make her wince.   “ oh. ”   she gnaws on her bottom lip then. forces herself to turn away from the posters and starts back out of the alley. keeping a steady pace, eloise makes sure reggie’s still within earshot of her talking.   “ ben’s normally right. ”   there’s no denying that.   “ i just wish we knew … when. ”

[estkrs]

delicately, she flips through the posters. brows knitted together as she examines one face after the other. missing,  missing,  missing. no wonder her dad hardly has the time to be home — what’s weird is that he seems to be the only one adamant about finding any trace of these kids. she doesn’t have the heart to tell him—    “ it’s gonna get worse, isn’t it? ”

     ft.           open starter.

[1liv]

[estkrs]

it doesn’t feel like her place — her being here, now. granted, there must have been countless kids that dealt with the nightmare that was the dancing clown. most weren’t alive, so she counted herself amongst the lucky ones. if luck is what you’d call it. it was the reason her mother wanted her out of derry. and to think that she packed a bag in the middle of the night, just to head back? delia stoker would be rolling in her grave. but eloise didn’t have a choice in the matter, not really. a part of her is still mad that it took her more than a full minute to register who exactly was on the end of the line when she got the call. she says his name, just as she said it then—   “ ben. ”   warm realization in her voice, coupled with the awkward half smile she makes as she stands outside the townhouse. phone in hand, she shoots out the quick text. i’m outside. because walking in feels like she’d be intruding.

it feels an awful lot like it did back when she was a kid. tiptoeing along the outskirts  /  unsure on her own two feet. but it was her tenacity that kept her around — that unwillingness to be rejected.   “ everyone alright? ”   is the first thing out of her mouth once she sees him.

     ft.           @savelosers.

[estkrs]

I'M  SEARCHING  FOR  SOMETHING  THAT  I  CAN'T  REACH    /    MY  GHOST  —  WHERE'D  YOU  GO?           ind  it  oc.      low  activity.      dash  only.      feel  free  to  ♡    /    reblog.