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traumacatholic

“Yet there is more. Jesus does not want to come merely in the little things of our lives, but also in our own littleness: in our experience of feeling weak, frail, inadequate, perhaps even “messed up”. Dear sister or brother, if, as in Bethlehem, the darkness of night overwhelms you, if you feel surrounded by cold indifference, if the hurt you carry inside cries out, “You are of little account; you are worthless; you will never be loved the way you want”, tonight God answers back. Tonight he tells you: “I love you just as you are. Your littleness does not frighten me, your failings do not trouble me. I became little for your sake. To be your God, I became your brother. Dear brother, dear sister, don’t be afraid of me. Find in me your measure of greatness. I am close to you, and one thing only do I ask: trust me and open your heart to me”.” - Pope Francis, Christmas 2021

acatholicrose

hisunfailinglove

“You must ask for God’s help… After each failure, ask forgiveness, pick yourself up, and try again.”

-C.S. Lewis

brokenheartedcubscout

mybeautifulchristianjourney

Wrestling With God

by Islay Burns (1817–1872)

“And he [Jacob] arose that night and took his two wives, his two female servants, and his eleven sons, and crossed over the ford of Jabbok. He took them, sent them over the brook, and sent over what he had. Then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of day. Now when He saw that He did not prevail against him, He touched the socket of his hip; and the socket of Jacob’s hip was out of joint as He wrestled with him. And He said, ‘Let Me go, for the day breaks.’ But he said, ‘I will not let You go unless You bless me!’” - Genesis 32:22-26

The glorious Being who here appears is manifestly the Angel of the LORD [Yahweh]. Jacob not only sees the mysterious form, but he embraces and grapples with Him in conflict, as one strong man wrestles with another. How all this was accomplished, in a scene where everything was miraculous and supernatural, it is of course needless to inquire. A more important and interesting question concerns the essential nature and meaning of the contest itself. Perhaps we do not greatly err in conceiving of it somewhat as follows.

While pleading alone upon his knees for the safety of his little flock and the divine aid for the trying scenes of the morrow, Jacob becomes conscious of another presence near. He beholds a glorious form of more than earthly majesty approaching. He recognizes, or thinks he does, the mysterious stranger as none other than the Angel of the Divine presence, the same who appeared to Adam in the cool of the day and to Abraham at the tent door of Mamre. Jacob welcomes the sign as a token for good and concludes that his prayer is heard.

Hoping for some assurance, he hastens to throw himself at the Divine stranger’s feet. “Oh, that You would bless me indeed, that You would assure me that You are indeed with me, that You will never leave me, that You will stand by my side in the great hour of trial that is near at hand!” The Angel hears but does not answer, and moves as if about to depart. In agony, Jacob prays yet more earnestly, but still there is no response. The Angel stands silent and motionless, as if in deep thought. Finally He seems to come to some decision and hastily turns to leave. In his extremity Jacob lays hold upon Him. But the Angel firmly resists, and so they wrestle together until the dawning of the day. At last the Angel, as if to end the strife, exclaims, “Let me go, for the day breaks.” Jacob replies, in those words which have lived in the hearts of all true wrestlers ever since, “I will not let You go except You bless me.”

The Lord’s design is now fulfilled. Jacob’s faith is fully tried. Humility, patience, persevering earnestness, trust in God, hope against hope–all stimulated to the highest point in the trial–have had their perfect work. Jacob has now gained the blessing, not by languid wishes or drowsy prayers but by a real victory of faith fairly and nobly won on the battlefield: “And He blessed him there.”

How fully that blessing was fulfilled we need not take time to tell. The melting scene on the morrow speaks too well for itself. The brothers meet, not to grapple in enmity but to embrace in love. Warm tears of relenting tenderness seal their reconciliation and drown in forgetfulness all that was past. What blessed tears! Blessed for Jacob as a token of his brother’s forgiveness and of God’s mercy. More blessed still for Esau, because he then learned how unutterably sweeter it is to forgive than to take revenge.

Let us learn the following from this history. First, how near we are, at all times, to the world unseen. Though not revealed to our earthly eyes, the unseen hosts of God are ever around the saints. Heaven, if we are the children of God, lies all about us every moment: “He gives His angels charge over you, to keep you,” “the angel of the LORD [Yahweh] encamps round about them that fear Him.”

Second, it is in the hours of darkness when we are nearest that unseen world. It was so with Jacob. When there was night both within and around him, then heaven was opened and the angels of God met him. It is in the dark night of sorrow that the soul has its keenest intuitions of eternal things. It is in the night alone that we see the stars. Were it not for the night, Orion and the Pleiades and all the rest of the glorious host on high would have been forever unknown. So too in the spiritual world. When the dark pall of sorrow is cast over all the bright objects of earth, then the glories of heaven come forth to view. Then the waking spirit beholds what eye has not seen nor ear heard. How many will then say, “It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I might learn Your statutes.” In their hour of need they have found the blessed Bible another more glorious firmament, which only requires the setting of the world’s sun to unveil its hidden glories.

Third, let us continue in prayer and refuse to be denied until the blessing comes. Let us not be discouraged by delay. Let not even an apparent denial make us cease our pleading. Remember Daniel, remember the Syro-Phoenician woman, remember the importunate widow, remember the disciples at Emmaus, and thus learn that it is always God’s way to stir up the grace of prayer before He answers it, to fan the holy flame to its utmost ardor, to draw forth from the deep heart the most piercing cries of impassioned supplication, and then to crown it with victory and blessing.

Therefore, persevere and do not faint. Not only ask the blessing but plead for it and wait, clinging to the footstool until it comes. You will prevail at last.

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quotes that help me survive:

“You are not lost. You are here. Stop abandoning yourself. Stop repeating this myth about love and success that will land in your lap or evade you forever. Build a humble, flawed life from the rubble, and cherish that. There is nothing more glorious on the face of the earth than someone who refuses to give up, who refuses to give in to their most self-hating, discouraged, disillusioned self, and instead learns, slowly and painfully, how to relish the feeling of building a hut in middle of the suffocating dust.” — Heather Havrilesky, Ask Polly

this tumblr text post:

“To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go.” — Mary Oliver

From an interview with Kazu Makino:

Instructions On Not Giving Up, Ada Limon:

And this poster by Yumi Sakugawa

“You have to believe, in your heart, that even if you don’t work hard and exercise and think positive thoughts and make new friends and march triumphantly into the future, you are still enough. You will always have bad days. Being broken doesn’t make you a loser. You can crumble, and you will still be enough. Make that your religion moving forward. You are here to feel this moment. You are not here to become someone better. You are not here to impress or compete. You are not here to prove yourself. You are here to savor this life. Let down your guard. You are already enough. Believe it.” — Heather Havrilesky

“The first feminist gesture is to say: “Ok. They’re looking at me. But I’m looking at them.” The act of deciding to look, of deciding that the world is not defined by how people see me, but by how I see them.” -Agnès Varda

lyrics from the song Grow by The Oh Hellos:

“The world’s otherness is antidote to confusion, that standing within this otherness—the beauty and the mystery of the world, out in the fields or deep inside books—can re-dignify the worst-stung heart.” — Mary Oliver

“I hope you will go out and let stories, that is life, happen to you,and that you will work with these stories from your life--not someone else's life--water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom. That is the work. The only work.” — Clarissa Pinkola Estes

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turn-north

“‘It is finished.’ May those words land on your bones for the nights when fear tells you the cross was a beginning & you must finish grace.”

—

Jon Acuff (via hopesign)

I seem to need these words everytime they show up on my dash.

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#faith

momentsbeforemass

What matters to God?

“And there was none so perfect as Peter.”

It’s a verse that appears nowhere in the Bible. If you read all the stuff about Peter in the Gospels, you know why.

Peter is the king of overpromising and underperforming.

Of blurting out whatever, whenever. Of missing the painfully obvious. Of not knowing when to quit. Or when to start. Someone who can go from fighting to the death to running away in 3.9 seconds.

And Peter exactly who Jesus picks to build the Church on in today’s Gospel.

Not because Jesus is an idiot. But because Jesus knows Peter. Jesus knows everything that Peter will get wrong. Including Peter’s denial of Jesus in the small hours of the morning on Good Friday.

And Jesus still picks him? Yes. Because Jesus knows Peter. Better than Peter knows Peter.

Jesus knows the heart of Peter. Jesus knows that, in spite of Peter’s worst impulses, Peter will keep stumbling towards Him. Peter will lose count of how many times he has fallen.

But Jesus knows how many times Peter will get back up. Jesus knows that Peter will keep trying.

In choosing Peter, Jesus shows us what matters most.

It’s the same way for you and me. Because God knows us. Better than we know us.

What matters most to God? Isn’t knowing what to do and what to say.

What matters most to God? Isn’t perfect performance.

What matters most to God? Is your heart. And the count.

God doesn’t care how many times you fall. What matters to God is how many times you get back up.

Which is why God will always help you, every time you even try get back up.

Today’s Readings

#faith

unsubconscious

Mary Sauer Rome Kitchen II oil on linen panel 30 x 30 cm

Saskia Sandrock

mybeautifulchristianjourney

You may fear that the Lord has passed you by, but it is not so: he who counts the stars, and calls them by their names, is in no danger of forgetting his own children. He knows your case as thoroughly as if you were the only creature he ever made, or the only saint he ever loved. Approach him and be at peace.

Charles Spurgeon

(via

officialyourdailyinspiration

)

uncommoncommoner

Apostolic WarRoom | FB page

#faith

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