[idiopathicsmile]

the trouble with writing is that it’s literally always easier to just lie facedown on your floor and make inarticulate noises

[sin-of-geekiness]

Meliodas: Elizabeth taught me to think before I act

Meliodas: ...So if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision

[westernmassposting]

ITS WARM

go outside go outside go outside go outside go outside go outside go outside go outside go outside go outside go outside go outside go outside go outside go outside go outside go outside go outside go outside go outside go outside go outside go outside go outside

[westernmassposting]

TOO HOT

put it back put it back put it back put it back put it back put it back put it back put it back put it back put it back put it back put it back put it back put it back put it back put it back put it back put it back put it back put it back put it back put it back put it back put it back

[thoughtkick]

“Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time.”

— Haruki Murakami

[resqectable]

“She is so stubborn, her heart has an argument with her head every time it wants to beat.”

— Catherynne M. Valente

[perfectfeelings]

“I loved you in a way I wished someone would love me.”

— Mahmdou Darwish

[the-city-on-fire]

I love the way I wish to be loved.

[pradadada6]

Situations be small, but the principles be loud asf and people just don’t get that.

[creatingnikki]

I am seeing the differences in myself right. It’s not like I am unaffected and unscathed from all of the after effects of this accelerated intimacy. Meeting somebody new and instantly connecting with them. Yes, that energy is always undeniable. And it is always a new kind of high. It catches you so off guard. The unexpectedness of it all actually is what makes you feel so good. And then the realization that even after all this time and all these shitty people and experiences and all of these routine days and feeling like you have to filter yourself and put up this act you can actually come across someone who sees you. And someone who you see and well you both like what you see. And so the accelerated intimacy makes you feel like this is it. This is the exception to the rule. But oh my god is it not. The aftermath now is no longer explicit. No waterworks and no fumes. But I still choke. My lungs feel the ashes from the fire inside me from before that promised to warm me but instead attempted to char my soul. Every new equation like this summons a breeze inside. It feels refreshing at first but all it does is unsettle the ashes that I thought had rested and were forgotten. I choke in a way you won’t notice. But this makes the words in my throat die. It becomes more and more difficult to find the desire or the ability to express myself. To share myself. So, no, this person will not leave me broken. But just a little more quiet. And a little less earnest. And I see it and I hate this change but I must kill the part of me that hates this change and not the part that is changing. Who cares about being authentic when you need to survive?

[resqectable]

“Don’t let the concept of change scare you as much as the prospect of remaining unhappy.”

— Timber Hawkeye

[thoughtkick]

“You had to be that person to become this one.”

— Rupi Kaur

[eternally-you]

My love note... Finally

You'll never understand how much it meant to me that you stood by my side and became my best friend in the Month of September. It was September 26th when you let me wear your glasses at work, and a few days later I had to inconveniently tell you that I was transferring stores which made you cry. I remember our first hug and all our early conversations that sparked our relationship. I was always there, especially when you needed to call. I'll never forget the day I "saved" you by calming you down over the phone from crashing your car.

Truth is, from the first time we hung out at the soccer field I knew you'd become someone extremely important to me for a long time to come. I love the time we spent together in my room listening to an assortment of my vinyl's and your favorite Noah Kahan songs.

I don't know if I've ever told you but my favorite memory of us (to this day) is the night you slept over at my house. It's the night I fell in love with you irrespective of whether or not you'd grow to love me in the same ways. Cuddling and sleeping next to you made me feel grounded to you, and your soul. I loved the calmness of your breathing, and the change in rhythm of your heart when I wrapped my arms around you.

I can say without a shred of doubt in my soul that you were my first true love. Having been in toxic relationships my entire life, you showed me what if felt like to truly be loved unconditionally without manipulation and gaslighting. You brought my smile back and you saved me from not wanting a future. My hope came back.

You said I turned your masculine era into a feminine are because I gave you peace… Despite all of this, why? Why disown me? Why love-bomb me for months and then just ghost me? How could you do that to someone you put so much effort into? Abandon your best friend?

You say you're affected too? Really? I call major bullshit. You've ruined everything, you ruined me.

I'm the last person who deserved this brutal pain, especially since I opened up and told you about my past and how hurt I already was. I gave you my whole soul. I was gentle with you because I showed genuine kindness ... not because I'm weak.

What, from the bottom of my heart, the actual fuck.

[eternally-you]

“I lost my mind for a bit, but I'll be back with my best version.”

[eternally-you]

“You’re feeling a misalignment between who you are now, someone who’s learning to stand on their own & the person you were in that dynamic.

It’s uncomfortable as hell, but in this, you’re breaking the chains of dependency & building something stronger. The ability to stand tall, even in the absence of the external validation.

The pain you’re feeling isn’t the absence of love. It’s the absence of that dependency. This is a reset.”

(Needed to repost)

[eternally-you]

Broke people break people

How cruel of you, bringing my inner child out of hiding to point-blank fire at the back of It's head. Watching the blood scatter across the earthen floor just to turn your back and walk away, obstructing connection to a love that met you so benign yet unconditionally.

The point is you betrayed me. No matter how regretful you may be, it doesn't stop the pain or make the situation okay by any means. It's been over a month now and you're still branded into my mind every waking moment I breathe. People say I'm too hard on myself, and that healing isn't linear. The answer is there's no maps to help navigate the changing of seasons between the person you were and the person you're becoming from the pain. I'm not perfect by any means but I deserve healing, and I deserve respect. When I’m done, I’m done forever; not even my shadow will linger where you stand.

You came and broke as you took, that's the sin you bare.

Karma is a light sleeper, and the pain you sow into someone's heart comes back tenfold, and taxed interest.

[eternally-you]

Rubix'

I have heard a lot that I don't give away much. That I am the most around and yet least known person. (Keep Reading);

My mental state of today is figurative to that of a game of dice. In every situation, my corresponding reaction(s) are like a die rolling out a matching numeral. I feed on so many different versions of myself daily It has become more and more difficult to find the desire or the ability to express myself. To share myself. So, no, I am not broken-but just a little bit quieter. How can I find myself when I can't stay true to who I am at a certain moment in time? How do I say, "I don't exist much".

[eternally-you]

She asked me, why her?

She doesn’t understand that she gave me a future to look forward to after not wanting one anymore.

I remember the moment I knew this shit would hurt. We were sitting on my floor and I was showing her a song from a fav album on vinyl, the sun was coming through the window creating the brightest gleam in her eyes, and while she was listening and giving feedback I was simultaneously so distracted by how her laugh penetrated my soul making me feel like a little kid again and I knew right then that l'd never not love her endlessly and that if we lost each other l'd never fully recover.

There are people who tend to lack a sense of safety, because relaxing sends a threat that something bad is about to happen. In this moment I felt safe, wrapped in the comfort of her soul before we ever hugged. This was love.

[eternally-you]

Another American Way

By: J. Sunny

Excerpt #144:

Lately I've been staying up

trying to understand myself

And what I've been called to do

Here on this earth

The world has been chaotic recently

A charcuterie board of negative emotions -

The marks humans leave are too often scars

You can't make idle threats and not expect others to hate you

It is but a world that strikes stupidity

In which common sense is not so common

Is this the American Dream?

Lies, deceit, hate, false news, unholy debauchery

A world where no man is filled with spirit, but instead wine

Conformed to the wickedness of the world

A modern day Sodom and Gomorrah

I believe everyone is misunderstood

Invisible scars tattooed in their mind

Frozen with numbness

Afraid to be crushed by the weight of their emotions

Not sad, but not happy either

Tired of people

Tired of every little thing

Tired of life in general

Lie down

Don't lie o p e n

All people do is... judge

Today everyone's a critic

Worth is something everyone will have to design for themselves

Noone can give your thoughts validation

Noone true, at least

You must give that to yourself

You must take care of yourself

Do you agree?

Maybe it never gets better

Fighting will never be the answer

All we truly do in life is suffer

Suffer ourselves daily

What's the point of being a hero?

Always at war, disagreeing

The weak always prey on the weaker

Once you slip up you're not a hero anymore

Noone thinks about the consequences

All the reason to love

Instead of hate

America

Home of the free

The sick and depraved

Living in one big nightmare

Illusions shared by masses

Creating false realities

God;

Please save the human race

There must be another way?

The American Dream doesn't have to be a killing machine