*Screeching Noise*

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You would think that since I've only known them a fraction of their lives, but they've seen all of mine, that they would know me better...

But they don't.

They never will.

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Ominous reminder to stay motivated! A lot of Unus Annus was about using the fact that you have little time on this Earth to motivate yourself into doing and trying new things. Even though Unus Annus us over, we still get to continue doing what Unus Annus was all about!

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@markiplier has been doing so much lately! With the podcast Edge of Sleep, his choose your own adventure series on YouTube "A Heist With Markiplier", and his new YouTube series with his friend Ethan, Unus Annus, I've been feeling more inspired lately to actually try and do something with my life. My depressive episodes have been bad recently and caused me to quit work, my grades to drop in college, and constantly be generally unsatisfied with life. Seeing all that Mark is doing, seeing how hard he is working g is inspiring me to try harder to make myself better! So, please, look at some of his things. Mark is an amazing man, and I'm sure that he can inspire you too!

 Edge of Sleep: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-edge-of-sleep/id1479444959  ( Also on Spotify)

 A Heist With Markiplier: https://youtu.be/9TjfkXmwbTs 

 Unus Annus: https://youtube.com/unusannus

 Markiplier: https://youtube.com/markiplier

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He rabid

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Adventure Time

So I know I'm super late to the party, but I'm rewatching Adventure Time and got to season 4 ep 19: Lady and Peebles, when I noticed something. For context, this is the episode where Lady and Bubblegum go looking for Finn and Jake who had gone missing after fighting Ice King. It follows the two going through a black ice cave in search for Finn and Jake, running into 3 monsters/rooms along the way only to find that Ricardo was back and trying to make a body. What I wanted to note was the things that Bubblegum and Lady had to get through to find Finn and Jake. They went through a room full of hands that caressed and took things from them, they were chased by a large tongue, and finally, were trapped in a room full of eyes that shot lazers at them. I may be analyzing this too much, but in an episode about a man (heart) that's trying anything and everything to get the woman he wants, I read into the monsters too. Hands, something that commonly assault women. Tongue, which can say dirty and unwanted things. Eyes, that give deadly looks and motives. Idk, I could be analyzing too much, but I wanted to just put this out there.

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I hate how "androgynous fashion" is just people wearing men's clothes.

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@markiplier I hope you feel better!!!

- Thank you op for the inspo and outline! (I can’t find the original... I apologize)

[photoedited, not drawn]

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HAVE ME

-saw this on a shirt-

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In my Junior year of high school, I grabbed a TI-84 calculator for the math class I just walked into. It's an everyday routine. That day I was more fragile than normal. My chest hurt. And it just so happens that this is a day a message was left on the calculator I grabbed.

"KILL YOURSELF"

I tried not to cry and brought the calculator to the teacher. She scoffed and made an announcement saying "you guys can't write things like this cause some people may take this as the last straw" before handing it back to me and saying to just erase it.

It was almost my last straw that day.

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My bf keeps telling me I'm beating a dead horse. Quote "Heck, you're just beating the ashes of its bones and dirt at this point." It's been 2 years since the first incident, 7 since the second, and 4 ish since the most recent with random occurrences sprinkled throughout. Is that long enough? Should I be healed now? When he says, "it's your fault, take responsibility", should I no longer panic? When I wake up to hear heavy breathing behind me, should I be able to remember it's him? When I suddenly can't tell the difference between him and them, should I just be able to stay calm? He says it's been long enough and that he would never do those things. Should I be better now?

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I have found out the reason as to why I keep wishing something terrible will happen to me. Because then, when I say that I feel depressed and like shit, people will simply attribute it to The Teribble Thing and I won't have to explain that it's simply how I live my everyday life.

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Based on the song "By the Time You've Finished Your Coffee"

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I just realized that my star sign is just Squidward freaking out about the future and I think this is a terribly accurate description of me.

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Sometimes I feel as if my depression is just like a Gremlin. It can be fed during the day just fine, but if fed to late at night, it becomes a raging monster.

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Me: *eats a banana* wow I'm so healthy Me: *proceeds to then eat absurd amounts of chips, candy, and sweets* Me: *takes a sip of water* dang I'm on a roll today!!!