⎣ .ship to wreck. ⎤

❝ I know how betrayal and disillusionment feel, when someone who could give you the world refuses even a T I N Y piece of it. ❞ Ethan Rycroft thirty-five ✖ marketing director ✖ married

[ethanrycroft]

sloanenilsson‌:

                Sleep had not come without a cost. Stirring slowly, surfacing from the benzodiazepine-induced coma she’d slipped into after swallowing two pills from different bottles, Sloane tried to place where she was. The medication had been fast-acting; after exhausting herself trying to keep her head above water, she hadn’t had any will left to fight sleep when it came for her. Mercifully, it had been a dreamless night. The nightmares would certainly come later, when she’d had time to process the ordeal, but she was thankful for the reprieve. Her vision blurred as she found the alarm clock next to her bed and acknowledged the time. Still early, all things considered, but she had no shortage of time to rest. Efforts to move proved painful ⏤ a dull ache resounded in her ankle and she remembered then that she’d injured it ⏤ but Ethan wasn’t far, his voice hovering over her, and in the moment she felt safe.

                 Vision blurry, she blinked a few times before looking up at him, trying her best to fight through the last dregs of confusion brought on by the previous night’s chemical cocktail. Her head felt heavy, but not as heavy as her heart when she found his blue eyes. “Morning,” Sloane whispered, her voice still leaden with sleep. It shocked her, at first: how utterly small and fragile she sounded. She hated it. “I feel like I could sleep for years. My ankle hurts but I’m okay. Did you sleep? At all?” Morning light filtered into their bedroom, and under swollen eyelids she could see that he looked worse for wear, as if he hadn’t slept a wink after the chaotic night at the mayor’s estate. Her voice was dripping with desperation when she spoke again: “I’m not really hungry. Could you…just… stay with me? A little while?”

He smiled a little more truthfully at her, as all of the thoughts he had been carrying were put on pause. "I think rest will help you feel better," he said, even if he didn't necessarily agree with the statement. Over the years, Ethan had to learn to function with very little sleep but the kind of insomnia he had been dealing for the last weeks felt like the nightly return of all of the fears and doubts that have been suppressed or dismissed during the day. All those nights full of 'what ifs' were starting to take its toll. "Not much, I had some work stuff to do," he bluntly lied, restraining the complete truth from leaving his lips and replacing it with something as monotonous as work.

The room grew quiet after her request, hating the uneasy feeling of surprise. Something so simple shouldn't be so surprising, but then again they had never been more polarized, never been further apart, so any display of closeness seemed surreal. Holding her for a few more seconds he smiled, nodding, before verbally conceding her demand. He moved further away from the edge of the bed, to not give the impression that he would run away the minute the situation became overwhelming. The perilous air between them thick with tension as he tried to find a way to connect with her, talking to Sloane used to be easy but now it felt like walking through a minefield, the things that needed to be talked about kept piling up as they disregard them. "Are you sure you are okay?" he asked out of the sudden, ending the deafening silence between them. "Do you want to talk about last night?" The memory of the events of the previous night was too fresh and regretted the question almost as soon as it left his lips.

[ethanrycroft]

rowmineo‌:

“Maybe we could go on this scavenger hunt together, because I hardly know myself,” Rowan chuckled at the stranger as she slowed down her pace. She had only just moved into her apartment a few days ago, spending most of her time at the building she was going to lease in January for her start up. Today was the first day where she could actually make an attempt to map this town and she was casually strolling around making mental notes of buildings and their locations. “I’m Rowan. I just got in town a few days ago. I’m gonna make the grand assumption that you’ve just moved back after sometime, no?” 

Ethan was surprised by the large influx of new people in town, while he could still spot several familiar faces on the street, there was an almost equally large part of the people he had never seen in his life. It was strange, while so many tried to make his way out of this place some others had decided to settle here. "I could join. I also need to find a good coffee shop," he said with a smile. "At this rate, they should consider a tour bus," he teased. "I'm Ethan, nice to meet you and welcome, although right now I also feel pretty new." He nodded at her assumption. "Back after seventeen years."

[ethanrycroft]

beccajenner‌:

Rebecca was strolling home after a not-so-grueling yoga class in town. The autumnal wind was biting, but it distracted her in the way that her workout hadn’t. Often, she was able to distract herself with physical exercise. As she had aged it had been a good outlet for her anger and frustration, a married mother of two was no longer able to party all night or sleep with a random stranger– not that she’d done much of that in her day, but she could have. It was more the option that kept her in check. She was surprised that sometimes she still felt she was twenty, even though she’d woken up to the same alarm, dressed the same babies, and made her husband the same cup of coffee for the last four years. It still sometimes felt like someone else’s routine that her limbs preformed automatically. She pondered this as she walked, yoga mat under her arm, until someone else’s voice interrupted her line of thought. 

She turned, facing the man. He seemed familiar, but almost in a way as if she didn’t know him from here. He seemed familiar in a more personal sense, like she knew his type. She straightened her back, pausing after he spoke, to fully understand his questions. There weren’t a lot of visitors in Portchester, so she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been asked a question randomly on the street. She cleared her throat, “I think there used to be a corner store a block or so over. But now, there’s a CVS on main street.” She nodded towards where she was walking, a handful of blocks directly in front of them, “Shouldn’t be more than a ten minute walk this way.”

Being back in Portchester made him feel trapped and confined to the bubble that he had once managed to break out of. If he'd known this before making the decision of coming back he would have stayed in Atlanta. What on Earth made him think moving back would help his fragile marriage? The town had changed and in the way, so had him. All of the feelings that had long since been buried make their way to the surface again just by being here and he had avoided going out in public places if there is any chance of running into someone he may know; which is everywhere. That's why he heaved a frustrated sigh when the woman informed him of the CVS and the missed chance of running the errands without having left the house. He made a mental note to order online next time before smiling at the woman.

"Thanks, I'll go and find that CVS," he said with a firm nod. "There wouldn't happen to be a Walmart here, right? Last time I was here, the nearest McDonalds was two towns away." After being back for a few weeks, he did feel a bit ashamed for not having taken the time to explore his former —current— hometown.

[ethanrycroft]

noellewright‌:

The increasingly cooler weather that was setting in was doing absolutely nothing for Noah except further pushing her desire for a warm, sunny beach to the forefront of her mind. Pulling her jacket in tighter to her chest as she walked down the street, her bad leg trailing with each step, her altered cadence much more pronounced without her crutches. As a voice spoke to her, her attention was drawn upwards, eyes blinking rapidly for a few moments as she processed what the man was asking for. “Oh, dude I’ll be honest, not sure if there was one here. I’m pretty new, but uh, there’s one a block down this way?” she shrugged, pointing over in the direction that she was headed. She was, at least, pretty sure that was where it was. 

It shouldn't be so shocking how much the town had changed, especially since he hadn't been in here for over fifteen years. A warm smile graced his features as the woman guided him to the nearest pharmacy. "I guess I'm pretty new as well," he said with a shrug. In spite of the familiar faces he could still spot in town, he felt like a tourist in his own hometown. "Thanks, I'll go and try to find it." Worst case scenario he could end up asking someone else. "I hope you are enjoying it here, I mean there's not much to do but people are usually nice."

[ethanrycroft]

eduardoxsanz‌:

Coming back to town had not been in his plans, then again nothing that had taken place in his life he had planned. He was positive that he was God’s biggest entertainment, if humans were channels for God to watch Eduardo had to either be E! or probably some horror film channel the had yet to discover in his cable package, which just reminded him that he should probably cancel it considering it that he never was at home to watch any of these programs. Not to mention that he had lived through his own horror film and though he had believed he was done this Halloween had proven otherwise. Being stuck in an elevator that was falling was not something he had expected to experience in his old hometown. A familiar voice interrupted his thought as he turned to look at Ethan, a face that he had not seen in years — decades perhaps. “Ethan? — How did you manage to forget where the pharmacy is? Nothing has changed — well besides your ability to grow a beard.”

It took him a few seconds to recognize the man before him, but once the face matched a name, a smile formed on his face. Of all the places he thought he could run into Eduardo, their hometown had not even made it to the top five. "I've lived outside this place almost as long as I lived here," he began his excuse as he looked around, but yet nothing familiar struck him. "What's wrong with my beard?" he asked with a chuckle before shaking his head. "Anyway, since you seem to know where is everything still in here, are you gonna show where's the pharmacy or not?"

[ethanrycroft]

The last time he had been in this street was almost fifteen years ago and naturally, things had changed but naively he ignored how different it was. After he left for college, his mother made sure to keep him away from Portchester, mostly motivated by her wish of leaving this town. Looking around, Ethan tried to see any aspect that seemed familiar, that could help him find out where exactly in town he was. After a few seconds, of making a mental map of the town he remembered, he gave up and decided to ask the nearest stranger. "Excuse me," he started, a small yet warm smile playing on his lips. "I'm pretty sure there was a pharmacy in this street but now I cannot seem to find it. Could you direct me to the closest one?" 

[ethanrycroft]

Ethan had spent most of the way back home trying to convince Sloane to see a doctor, but after the fourth or fifth time she refused he stopped asking, the last thing she needed after that night was to get in an argument with him. He still couldn't understand how he didn't notice something was wrong? He should have been there to help her sooner before the situation became as dangerous as it turned out, instead he was somewhere else trying to forget their problems, not letting the people from his hometown notice the tension between them. His blue hues shifting over her with precision as she slept soundly, the only evidence of the accident was her swollen ankle. Overwhelming relief mingled with the lingering feeling of fear as he processed that she was fine, safe. He could easily blame last night's incident for his sleepless night, but the bags under his eyes proved it wasn't the first night he had spent laying down awake imagining the worse.

He pushed all his worries away at the sign of movement, a tired smile instead gracing his features. "Hey, good morning," he said softly. "How are you feeling?" Of course, his first instinct was to ask her to go and see a doctor but he repressed that with all his strength just like he restrained the urge of brushing her hair off her face. "Are you hungry? I know I'm not the best cook, but I can still make a decent breakfast." He allowed himself to chuckle which helped to relieve the tension on his chest. @sloanenilsson

[ethanrycroft]

sloanenilsson‌:

                The difference in height between, even in her heels, them forced Sloane to look up at her husband. Through her heavy fake eyelashes she could see a faint smile forming on his features as he offered his apologies for socializing, but she didn’t feel he owed her any such thing. Shaking her head, she reached out, her hand grazing the front of his sweater before it fell away; a show of affection, or her best attempt at affection under the circumstances, cut short. “These are your people,” she said, almost teasingly, letting her hand rest along the waistband of her skirt. “You’ve been gone for years, Ethan. It’s okay to catch up with them. I’m fine doing my own thing.” An interesting choice of words, given her past indiscretions. 

                Her lips pressed together when he complimented her, knowing he meant it, genuinely, but feeling as though she didn’t deserve it. She didn’t deserve kindness; not really, not when she was largely responsible for the palpable shift in their relationship. “It’s been nice,” Sloane replied diplomatically, but there was a genuine contentment behind her words. He knew better than anyone that her childhood had been comprised of social gatherings, ostentatious displays of wealth and influence held over cocktails and hors d'oeuvres as overly-perfumed women lobbed thinly-veiled criticisms at one another, all uttered through white veneers. Sloane’s mother had held court in such situations, a predator combing the lavish terrain for a new person to sink her claws into. Still, the Halloween event had been a welcome distraction, from sourcing their costumes to making small talk with the locals. “Look, I know this feels… weird,” she said softly, “but I’m glad we came. It feels good to get out of the house. If it gets to be too much, you’ll let me know, right? Don’t think you have to do all of this because of me.“

               When he decided to move back to his hometown, Ethan was not sure what to expect. However, after a few weeks of being here, he could start to understand his mother's desire of leaving, the one that imposed on her son and now here he was, feeling like an outsider among 'his people' like Sloane had said. "We can catch up another day," he replied with a nonchalant shrug. He ignored her last comment, the last thing he wanted was to think of the thing she did when she was on her own, he desperately needed a break from that thought. "I came here with you," he began, a more sincere smile hiding all his doubts and fears, "and I want to be with you." He reached for her hand because, in spite of her everything, he still craved her touch, the closeness they once had.

               Regardless of the lingering sensation of discomfort, Ethan felt calm and even he would dare to say content to be here with her. He was well-aware that social gatherings were not her favorite thing, it wasn't his either, but he agreed with her; it felt good to leave the house. "It's nice," he replied softly, wishing he could express himself more, like before, but he could still feel the instability between them. Her last comment brought a somewhat melancholic smile to his face. That was the thing, ever since he had met her Ethan did everything for her and most of the time it was nice, she made him get out of his comfort zone. Yet, he had failed in something, otherwise, they wouldn't be in this position. "It's fine, I'm having fun," he finally said, the admission remained too sanguine to be completely sincere, but it held a grain of truth.  "Do you want me to get you a drink or something?"

[ethanrycroft]

willa-lockhart‌:

“Terrible time wouldn’t even begin to describe my night.” She laughed, thanking the bartender after they dropped off her drinks in front of her. She turned her gaze to the gentleman who spoke next to her, noticing he looked just as thrilled to be here as she did. Sure, it was nice to get out of the house but she felt like the outcast at an event like this.

“Unfortunately a bad hangover isn’t the worst thing that could happen this week. It’ll be a welcomed distraction to what I gotta put up soon.” With the trial coming up, she was on the brink of a breakdown. She just hope everything would work out as planned otherwise she didn’t know what she was gonna do. Being in witness protection was getting on her nerves and she just wanted to be free an live her life the way she wanted too.“But if you have a different drink combination that will help my night, feel free to let me know because the booze is free and I’m open to suggestions." 

It wasn't solely the party that had him in this terrible mood, it was mostly influenced by the theme. He had never been a fan of Halloween parties, it was something his mother had always seen as a waste of time, for some reason only she could understand. "It must be very bad if you are willing to go through a champagne-induced hangover." He wasn't one to judge her drinking habits, and in dealing with his own troubles he had already passed the phase of getting drunk, at least for now. "If a hangover is what you want, I can assure you that it won't get worse than with that mix."

"I doubt I can suggest anything better than tequila. It wouldn't be every frat boy drink of choice if it wasn't the most effective to get you drunk.," he added with a shrug, not like he could talk from experience as he had missed that part of college. "In moments like this, I think vodka is my choice." He smiled at her before taking a swig. "But since it's free, I understand why you would go for champagne, maybe throw some wine into that mix."

[ethanrycroft]

willa-lockhart‌:

Finger’s dug deeper into the clutch she had brought with her. To say she was a bundle of nerves would be an understatement. Things didn’t go well with Tess and she was still a little rattled by it. She wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to be showing up to some party where she most likely would be but she caved in when others asked if she was going to be attending.

The crowd was doing her no favors, wondering if she should just slip out of here and head back. She could get home in time to put Owen to bed and just binge watch some Netflix. “Its just an hour. You just gotta stay an hour and you can leave.” She mumbled to herself as her eyes glanced around the room.

She spots the bar, making a beeline from it. She needed a drink before she dealt with of this. She rests her elbows on it as she waves down a bartender who approached her with a smile. “Can I get a shot of tequila and a glass of champagne? Please and thank you.”

           Being away from Portchester for so long was starting to take its toll and it came in the shape of the dreaded small talks. He had already run into people and endured communicating with them for an indefinite period of time while he dug really deep into his memory to recall their names. That was the thing. Some people were surprised he wasn't just visiting. Some didn’t realize he ever left and some just wanted to find all the scoop on why he had decided to return. Time suddenly stood still as he wondered when, if ever,  this cruel and unusual torture would be over.

          He had found the perfect excuse to withdraw when the conversation became too unbearable: the bar. It was perfect as it left open the possibility of coming back, even if that wasn't the plan. If he had to remain in the bar for the rest of the night, or until his wife wanted to leave, although in order to find that out he would need to find her first.

          Probably the most interesting conversation he's had that night had been with the bartender, who so kindly had given him another glass of vodka without him asking. Taking a large swig, he then looks at the woman that happened to stand next to him. "And here I was thinking I was having a terrible time," he mumbled. "I must warn you, tequila and champagne are not two things that should be mixed unless you want the worst hangover in the history."

[ethanrycroft]

rafealexander‌:

   “You know, I think people only have fun at these type of events because they get to pretend to be someone else.”

         Ethan scoffed, a subtle chuckle escaping his lips. "That could be," he said, pausing to look at the man. "Then again, some could also enjoy it because they find it familiar. Pretending, I mean."

[ethanrycroft]

sloanenilsson‌:

               “Here you are.” Leave it to alcohol, life’s social grease, to ease the tremulous butterflies in Sloane’s stomach. Fresh from the bustling bar with a second round, she carried a replenished flute of champagne in one hand and handed off Ethan’s drink with the other. The town’s Halloween event marked their first social outing together since a disastrous business dinner in Atlanta had set things into motion in the worst possible way. More importantly it was their first night out since the move to Portchester, and by accepting the invitation and showing up, dressed complementarily as Bonnie and Clyde, they were making an effort to bridge the gap between where they stood with one another and where they wanted to be. Not that Sloane had a clue. Even now, as she gazed up at Ethan, she found herself wondering what he was thinking, feeling. If he was at all caught up in his homecoming or if this was of no consequence to him at all. If he had any regrets about making the move back to Michigan ⏤ with her, to focus on them.

                Brushing the thoughts aside before they could deteriorate into a study of self-loathing, Sloane tried her best to keep her hand still as she lifted her glass to swallow a mouthful of champagne. There was no good in letting her husband (or anyone else present, for that matter) see just how unrelenting the nervous twitch in her hands had become. “You look handsome.” She offered the compliment without the obligation for him to return it by simply breezing through the conversational pause to explain, her lips slowly curving into a genuine grin: “I mean it. I meant to say it earlier, in the car. This outlaw bank robber look suits you.” Sloane wanted to touch him ⏤ run her fingertips over the fabric of his sleeve, fiddle with the toy gun tucked in his pocket, reach for his hand ⏤ but the urge felt almost irresponsible in public, as if she hadn’t yet earned the privilege to do so again and was afraid of the consequence.

                                                       ⏤  @ethanrycroft .

                They had been in the party for a mere ten minutes when he had already run into an old classmate. It was a surprise yet not really a surprise. In a city like Atlanta, being anonymous was easy, very rarely he had to suffer through awkward small talk in the middle of the street or in this case, a party that as time passed seemed more like an old high school reunion than a Halloween party. There used to be a time when Ethan thrived in social situations like this, but that afternoon he was over it. The move had been more overwhelming than he had imagined, his work pile up as he spent more time outside the office and his marriage... well, he still couldn't figure out what was happening with it. As soon as the inevitable resurfacing of emotional memories began, Ethan desperately looked for a way out of the conversation. A huge exhalation of pent-up breath escaped from his lips when he heard Sloane's voice. "Sorry." He quickly had to give his apologies for leaving her alone, offering up the start of a smile. "I was taken hostage by that group." He took the drink as he gestured towards the group that still remained talking about the 'good old times'.

              A small shift in features contorted his lips into something resembling a small smile. He had never been the type of guy that enjoys dressing up, if he had done it in the past, it had been for her. Always for her. "Thanks," he finally said. "You look beautiful too, as always." Despite the meek tone of his voice, he meant it and he hated that he couldn't make it sound more sincere like before, but lately their relationship made him feel like he had to walk over eggshells. One thing was to pretend nothing had happened behind closed doors, but now in public, he could feel the frozen tension between them which made him scared to move or make a sound in case the balance was upset. "Are you having fun?" he asked, loathing how their conversations now resembled those of two strangers.

[50shades]

[rhidley]

[lestateur]

[sanabakkouh]

#when you’re trying to socialize with morons 

[divinecelebrities]