Hearing other people’s uncensored opinions of you is an unpleasant reminder that you’re just another person in the world, and everyone else does not always view you in the forgiving light that you hope they do, making all allowances, always on your side. There’s something existentially alarming about finding out how little room we occupy, and how little allegiance we command, in other people’s heads.
This piece. Highly recommend.
I've been thinking recently about the little memories I've collected of friends, and why I've held on to those in particular. People from my past appear on my Facebook feed every few months and I am suddenly hit with a memory of something they said or did as a silly normal teenager, and sometimes they are really weird/unflattering (because I'm remembering only 15 seconds from 15 or so years ago). And all of this has made me wonder what random little snippets or stupid things I've said that my friends have held on to, for whatever reason. Perhaps these decontextualized and unflattering (or entirely contextualized and still unflattering) moments in time do form their opinions of me.
I wonder what they think when they see my name appear on their Facebook feed, but I don't ever want to know.













