small kitten with internet access

a younger 20 something. -18 dni!! cleefo on ao3

[ethubbie]

she/her, some know me as cleefo on ao3. i rpf* freak it majorly here. this is my only blog but it is very often nsfw, please don’t follow if you’re less than 18!

*Blog Thesis: we’re up in the rpf cleavage here. many things i post are both c and cc or neither. just some weird superposition of the two. i don’t really believe there exists entirely c or entirely cc, there’s no clean separation and it’s less fun if there is. c vs cc is about the consumer’s intent!!

FAQ: are you still working on cherish?? - yes and i really hope to have it finished by the end of my winter break aka end of january! i’m making slow progress since this isn’t what i do (i study redacted stem subjects at uni) and it’ll likely be around 20k words. but i swear i’m working

edit: whoops...

Maybe Important:

i am a huge fan of transfem etho and post about her frequently. aka all the time

i rarely ever tag things for filtering besides writing stuff. i really wish i were the type but i just can’t

i know many people know my main and anyone’s free to ask in dms but please be cautious telling people 😅 i try to keep my sfw fandom platform very separate from this

Do Not Send: scat, cat zoo. i will block your anon asks

other than that, please send me asks!! i love asks!!!! if you send anything i’m not into i’ll likely just ignore it so no harm no foul ^_^

(currently relevant tags: my writing minis cherish updates)

[tomorrowillbeyou]

If you don't have a vod channel you need to die immediately and im so serious

[slab100]

what does "don't be wild with it" even mean

[eatsroad]

teammates

inspired by this post !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ethubbie]

sex with bdubs is him being like “baby pleaseee let me fuck you, i know you’re tired but i’ll do all the work, just let me have this one thing” and the fucking in question is him desperately rutting and coming too fast and falling asleep right after

[draculism]

bdoubleo. beeeeedoubleo. one Hundred. bdoubloh. b and his mate doubleo. one huntred. one (1) hundred. 100.

[smoothstone-butch]

I think after bdubs stream where etho comes over to 'co-host' because bdubs is low on energy, they end up on a discord call for hours. and etho is poking bdubs like didn't you say you were tired? and bdubs says oh cmon you know it's different. and etho is like yeah you gotta put on a show, big streamer guy. and bdubs fondly says yeah I mean, it's different when it's just you, though. and etho fakes offense at the idea of not being worth the same effort, being 'just you'. and bdubs says well that's not what I meant how about 'only you', as in I get tired pretty easily but not when I'm with only you, you know I always have energy to talk to you. and etho just hums as if he's assessing the truth of what bdubs said even though he gets it immediately, intrinsically, wholeheartedly

[smoothstone-butch]

also scope for teasing about performing for the stream and being on camera -> etho asking if he's not worth that same effort, being a private audience of one, but truly not expecting that bdubs turns his camera on and his eyes are so soft and sleepy and his smile is smug but genuine and etho watches his mouth as he says "is this what you wanted?"

[slab100]

it's okay guys. this is just the start :) we're about to enter #mcytsummerofdiscourse. who wants to play with me

[bellshazes]

in which wonderful & terrible things happen to etho's person, but he's not going to let that stop him from recording an episode. for some reason?

etho: something happened today guys, something wonderful just happened to me. let me tell you about it. so earlier today, i had to knock some snow off of a roof, right. and i was like "okay, what do i use? what do i use?" i didn't need to do much, just a little bit, so it's like, there's a broom next to me, that'll probably work. i picked it up, i shook it on the ground a couple times to knock the dirt out of it, you know? and sure enough, while looking up at what i was doing, there was no dirt falling out or anything but there was one giant piece of sawdust still in the broom - it fell out, went right in my eye. [laughs] and - you know sometimes, you get something in your eye and it's like, oh man i gotta get this thing out! but other times it's like, [whisper-screaming] "AAAAAH!!!" it hurts so bad, today it hurt so bad. i just like stopped what i was doing and ran inside, crying out of one eye. and after five minutes or so the piece of wood got so soggy from the tears it didn't hurt as bad anymore. i finally got it out, it's been like eight hours in my eye. i couldn't get it out as much as i tried before. so i'm feeling so much better i'm so happy, it's finally gone, it's left me! etho: in fact it's still usable, the mic and the speakers are fine, they just aren't being held together properly. and i was gonna try and fix it - but i put it on my head and when i took it off i saw it was leaking glue out of the seams for some reason? and i was like, i'm not putting that on my head anymore, so... etho, about the same headset several years later: i just broke my headset again. funny enough not where the superglue was, but in a brand new spot. i tried to fix it and i got superglue all over my fingers now. can't feel anything in my fingers. it's terrible. etho: i sat down too soon here in my leather chair. my back is just damp - still damp from the shower! and it's the worst sticky, nasty feeling ever! and I can't lean forward because then I'll be in the wrong position for the microphone, so I just have to deal with it, guys. my life is so hard.

[crimson-rots]

saddest thing that can happen to 2 guys with freak shit going on is people calling them boyfriends. yes i know theyve got something homosexual going on but brother it is NOT that

[crimson-rots]

you guys realise that the point of media isnt just to find 2 white men and make them fit into your boxes. right? "suburban husbands" is not the end goal for every relationship. sometimes two guys just have to have freak shit going on.

[crimson-rots]

listen to me. ok? i take your hand very gently. not every person is going to love each other in the way you've been taught. sometimes people just want to fuck around with each other. sometimes they're special to each other without definitions involved. sometimes soulmates are never going to get married. even when they love each other. yes, even when they love each other romantically. sometimes theres freak shit going on and that freak shit won't end with "boyfriends". ok?

[crimson-rots]

the world can be so beautiful. sometimes they just get married for tax benefits and then never address it again. the characters' self-reflection doesnt HAVE to fix their freak shit. the bit doesn't have to stop just because people go to therapy

[crimson-rots]

THEY WOULD NOT FUCKING HAVE KIDS.

[bellshazes]

bdubs: [reading a chat message about his new haircut] "did you get the stripes on the gay side?" is there? a gay side for haircuts? i know that they say that for earrings. [stares] but, anyway-

[slab100]

i always forget this is a nsfw blog rather than a generalised complaining blog so here. My Gemtho Pornography that i wrote ages ago and subsequently scrapped for parts for other fics:

(the context for this is that etho's been gay his whole life but a flipped bit in the server code has made him straight)

“Etho?” she says, like that’s a whole question of its own.

He can’t say anything—especially not when she shifts, just the tiniest bit, and the movement makes his body react instinctively. He freezes as soon as he realises what he’s doing, but it’s too late: his crotch meets her thigh, and the world comes to a halt.

Gem looks at him with wide eyes, then glances down at his boner, then back up at him. Somehow, her eyes look even wider, then, like a baby deer’s. They’re the most amazing shade of deep green, and the fan of her thick eyelashes is deeply distracting. When he looks down at her lips—like petals, he thinks, insanely—he watches as she catches the bottom one between her teeth.

“Gem,” he says. Because that’s all he’s got.

Slowly, moving like he’s a wild animal she’s scared of chasing off, Gem anchors a hand on his shoulder and grinds down against him.

The contact is electric. Etho jolts helplessly into it, one arm coming up to wrap around her waist and pull her closer, make the contact more.

“Gem,” he says again, already out of breath, feeling completely crazy.

“Etho.” Her hands scrabble against his chest, his collar, trying to find the best place to hold on as he moves her against him, getting harder as the heat of her body sends sparks through his. Her fingers find the edge of his mask. “Can I?”

He nods, and she doesn’t wait a second before pulling the black fabric down and dragging him into a deep kiss.

It’s nothing like kissing a man. Her face is so smooth and petite, and there’s something distinctively girlish in the plush of her lips. She licks into his mouth and sighs against him, and the noise is unmistakably feminine and for some reason that alone makes it hot. It occurs to him wildly that if he doesn’t get her into bed this instant, he might actually just die. Or come in his pants. One of the two, for sure.

She gasps when he grips her thighs and picks her up off the ground, but she gets the picture, wrapping her legs around his waist and pulling his mouth back to hers.

“Do you want to fuck me?” she says, her wet lips dragging against his. He just nods, because he definitely can’t articulate just how much his body needs him to do exactly that.

She directs him to the nearest building in the fishing town that has a half-decent bed in it even as she’s pulling her own shirt off, and he drops her onto the sheets without any flourish. Looking at her, panting and a little sweaty and definitely, definitely not a man, he honestly can’t really remember why he had never been interested in women before. Because look at her. Framed by her bra, her chest heaves up and down with every breath, and she gazes up at him with those big, deer-like eyes of hers.

“Thought you wanted to do more than just stare, Etho,” she says.

And yeah. Crazily, he does.

He knees onto the bed and makes light work of the rest of both of their clothes. Experimentally, he touches one of her breasts—because women have breasts—and runs his thumb over the peak of her nipple. The skin is kind of alarmingly soft, and she shivers under the touch. When he hesitates to go further, she grabs his hand with a sly grin and pulls it to her—to her pussy.

She’s swollen and wet, and silky soft, and any thought Etho might’ve had about needing lube flies out of his mind as she presses his fingers to her slit. When he slips his middle one into her, it meets no resistance at all.

Gem whimpers softly as he drags his rough finger in and out of her, and adds another when it seems like she’s ready. Honestly, it seems like she could handle all of him right away—it’s Gem, Etho’s certain she could handle anything—but he finds himself wanting to take his time with it. Drag it out. Every tiny sound she makes, every twitch of her body, the way her pussy clenches around his fingers, sends fresh waves of arousal through him. He wants her. Simple as that: he just wants.

So, on impulse, he bends down and, with his fingers still curling inside her, brings his mouth to her slit and licks.

The reaction is instantaneous; she jerks in his hands and turns her face into the sheets as a reedy moan stutters out of her, and her pussy tightens around him as she—orgasms? Probably orgasms. Is this what it’s like when a woman does that? He keeps his fingers moving, rocking them into her slowly, coaxing her through it and back down again, just like Pause always liked.

“That looked—” he starts, and stops, not sure how to describe it. “Was that okay?” he asks.

Gem shoots him a wild look. “Is that a real question?” she says, and props herself up to reach for his hard cock, giving it a couple of motivated strokes. “Come on, let’s see what you can do with this. I want you to ram the soul out of my body.”

That startles a surprised laugh out of Etho, but honestly? Sounds pretty good to him. He manoeuvres up the bed so he’s braced over her and guides his cock to bump against her entrance, dragging it against her slit to get it wet. She shudders and breathes out a thin whine as he finally slides in.

She parts around him easily, letting him all the way in until his head bumps her—her cer… vix? He guesses? She jerks and grips him when he does—like perfect haptic feedback telling him okay, careful, that’s sensitive.

Slowly, he rolls his hips, drawing almost all the way out and thrusting deliberately back in. At least this bit is basically the same no matter what shape of body you’re doing it with. Gem, for her part, makes it easy to tell what’s working and what’s not. He tries speeding up, but finds she’s not nearly as into it as when he goes slow and hard, grinding their hips together as he bottoms out. She shakes like she’s experiencing an earthquake high up on the Richter scale when he does that, and her hand snakes down between them to knead her clit. When she brings herself off—purposefully, expertly—it’s not just the feeling of her clenching tightly around him that sends him over the edge too. It’s her face, scrunched up with pleasure, and above all else the high, girlish noises she makes that go straight to his groin and have him tensing up and shooting into her.

He waits for regret—for clarity—to come to him when he pulls out. An oh man, what the heck did I do that for? But it doesn’t arrive. He leans back on the bed and his eyes rake over the pale curves of her body and all he feels is confused satisfaction and a pleasant, post-orgasmic stupor.

“Here,” Gem says, reaching over the side of the bed to pluck his mask off the floor. “It’s weird seeing you without it.”

“Thanks,” he says, and pulls it back on. It’s weird being seen without it.

“This is going to sound crazy—” Gem turns to him even as she’s still catching her breath. “But I really thought you didn’t like girls.”

“Um,” Etho says, and doesn’t really know how to go on. Because she’s right. He didn’t. And there’s really no nice way to say I think the fact I wanted to do this with you at all means there’s something really wrong with me.

“Really!” she goes on. “Like, I didn’t think you ever even looked at me. It was always Beef, and Bdubs.”

Now that’s enough to kick him out of post-orgasmic stupor.

“That’s not—” he starts. “I mean, I don’t—”

Don’t what? Don’t like guys? Maybe he doesn’t anymore, but saying it would still feel like a big lie, considering.

But Gem’s looking at him like she expects his sentence to have an ending.

“I’m… straight?” he ends up going for. That, at least, is true.

“Etho, I know you know what bisexuality is,” she says flatly.

He frowns. “Obviously I know about. Um. Bisexuals,” he says. “But I’m not one.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Look, I…” He crosses his arms around his chest, and forces himself to look at her. “Gem, something happened to me, a couple of days ago.”

It takes a lot of explaining to get her to actually understand what he’s saying, but he tries to get the whole story out. All the way from noticing False that day in the shopping district, to the night before, trying to—well, he hadn’t said jerk off in so many words, but he’d got the point across.

“I think you might be over-complicating it,” Gem tells him, clearly trying to sound gentle. “People change. Sexuality’s fluid. Sometimes you just go through weird periods.”

Etho shakes his head, increasingly more worked up, and says, “I’m not overcomplicating it at all. My whole life, until a week ago, I liked men. Now, I like women. No overlap, no both, no complication. Gem, I was—I was gay.”

He snaps his mouth shut as soon as he says it; the words had tumbled out of him so quickly, so breathlessly that he hadn’t even had time to register what he was saying until it was already out there. But it’s… the first time he’s ever said it out loud. To anyone. He’d always denied it to Pause and even in his own head, he tried to avoid thinking it like that would make it any less real.

“And now I’m not,” he adds. Kind of an anti-climax.

[nastychai]

yes sweetface, the roman helmet has to stay on during sex (aka kerdubs time)

((full image))

[tomorrowillbeyou]

if i pvp gem it won't be interesting, if i pvp joel it won't be interesting, pearl it won't be interesting. i'll wipe the floor with etho. i'll throw him around like a ragdoll.

[ethubbie]

good bdub from the stream

[lavendergreen]

canon-accurate ethubs petplay where bdubs agrees to try it out and etho goes through a whole scene of like bringing home his new pet and bdubs is embarrassed and super turned on bc no matter how self-conscious he is he likes when etho's bossy. and etho's like okay now Wait Here. implying if bdubs is good he'll get a reward, so like maybe bdubs is into this whole deal. except etho leaves to go to the shopping district real quick and then doc stops him to pick his brain and complain abt shenanigans happening and so he has to take the long way home and remembers he didn't get the logs he'd gone for so he just uses his own farm anyway instead of risking another detour and anyway like four hours in he realizes he has basically done the equivalent of leaving bdubs alone in a hot car & bdubs hasn't even messaged him so he runs back and bdubs has faked his death with a little note that says something like "BdoubleO was killed by NEGLECT!!!" and etho can't help pointing out over chat that that is not even how the death message would work and also you can't die of starvation in four hours bdubs. and then it devolves into a convoluted game where bdubs is now pretending to be the ghost of his pets come to haunt him and frankly their attempts to talk through are SO BAD, like just really badly acted porn dialogue, with bdubs sticking to the Role Play and etho trying to make up for genuinely fucking up by powering thru this game of pretend so they can at least get off bc he was kind of looking forward to making time for sex given how busy/absent they both can be. they give it two more shots of etho being a bad "pet" owner before they give up and try it the other way

[lavendergreen]

etho says oh fine let's see YOU do a better job, huh! and bdubs says what like you want me to treat you like... my parrot? (etho: you had a parrot?) no horses aren't the same etho, don't even pretend with me like that. unless you're wanting me to make you run laps. so i can die of dehydration, etho says, as revenge. oh my god do you want me to treat you like the little idiots downstairs, then? if you do this you can boss me around, etho says, super sly and not at all subtle. bdubs doesn't need a reason to but the thing is how is he supposed to pass it up when handed to him on a silver platter. it actually goes shockingly well for a while with bdubs giving simple commands wrapped in light praise/insults (maybe you can teach stupid!) but he has to make etho wait. as revenge you know. so he tells etho to sit or heel or lie down or something while he works and he does kind of get absorbed in it but he's good about checking and keeping etho in line of sight - because he is responsible unlike some people - and etho actually dozes off and starts snoring really really really softly and it is so unfathomably cute that bdubs can't even bring himself to wake etho up and he ends up falling asleep in his chair at his desk too. etho mocks him mercilessly when he wakes up first which completely ruins any chance at continuing the scene and they still don't have sex about it.

[swamp-chicken]

vechs posting the most bitter thread ive ever read on twitter. com. good! can every mcc player from the mindcrack era come out now w all their petty grievances please!

[swamp-chicken]

i think i understand why it took so long for bdubs to meet the hermits and why he was so relieved that they were exactly who he thought they would be. i too would be traumatized from being in the mindcrack community