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⣠Chile in a Photography âŁ
occasionally subtle
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JVL
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Love Begins
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@etoiles-dara
Hey!! Your link to the feverwake discord server is expired!! D: I tried to join but I can't
thanks for telling me ! hereâs another one, it should be permanent :)
https://discord.gg/2ydksYgjX6
Check out the feverwake series community on Discord - hang out with 29 other members and enjoy free voice and text chat.
JUST WANTED TO SAY I NEED AMES X BETHANY CONTENT IM OBSESSED
me too, who is gonna give the people what they need???
đ
consuming media uncritically if my favorite character kills I will too
I was thinking of joining the feverwake discord but I wanted to ask first how much of the group is minors and if minors are allowed? Sorry I know this is kinda weird, I'm not really a discord person so I don't know if there are any kind of unspoken rules or anything đđ
hi !! itâs not weird at all, you can ask anything and itâs a legitimate question to have, especially if youâre new to discord.
the server is completely open to minors, i am one myself haha :) iâd say there are a bit more adults than minors. i donât know if itâs a matter of concern for you, but it really doesnât bother me so feel free to join us !
btw, the server has now expanded to a victoria lee server, meaning we also have an entire section for their new book, A Lesson In Vengeance !
have a good day :)
happy birthday to our beloved pendejo, noam ĂĄlvaro <3
Shout out to everyone doing the hard yet necessary work of posting about fictional characters kissing online.
i am, once again, promoting the feverwake discord server because people on here are lovely and i love to connect with other fans ! weâd be happy to see you join :)
hereâs the invite link:
https://discord.gg/Hxe6JQ3b
Check out the feverwake series community on Discord - hang out with 16 other members and enjoy free voice and text chat.
i just know noam would love mÄneskin
so i might have written a one-shot based on that lol
https://archiveofourown.org/works/31572281
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
hope you like it !! <3
hi in honor of pride month i made picrews for the gang <3 so in order of appearance we have dara, noam, ames, bethany, taye and leo !
credits for the picrew goes to makĂłwka, hereâs the link if you want to do yours : https://picrew.me/secret_image_maker/1ATjYgP9eVbd7xP9
i wish you all a happy pride month đłïžâđ
Hi Victoria, thank you for your wonderful Feverwake stores. The setting was very interesting and I loved your ideas about magic. The way you brought up all the (social) issues in the books, how you depicted Lehrer and how you developed Noam and Daraâs love story was really great. I think a learned a lot about abuse through your story and by discussing it with a friend. However, I still donât understand why after everything Noam still felt so attached to Lehrer. (I'm sorry, I need another ask.)
"When realizing what an evil manipulative, narcissist bastard he is and seeing how he abused Dara and him, I hoped there could only be one feeling left: repulsion â and certainly not longing. Could you explain that to me or give me a reference to a source for "self-study". I am so bewildered by that fact. Also, did Noam fell for Dara and Lehrer at the same time or is what he felt for Lehrer very different to his love for Dara? Then what's the difference? Thank you and I'm sorry for bothering you!"
This is a good question! It's a little hard for me to explain personally I think because of personal trauma/experience, but I do have some good resources for you:
https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/why-do-i-love-my-abuser/
https://lifeisloveschool.com/articles/why-do-i-miss-my-abuser/
https://chaynpakistan.org/my-health/stockholm-syndrome-do-you-still-love-and-miss-your-abuser/
Some key quotes from the above links:
- [Stockholm syndrome] can develop as a consequence of traumatic bonding, whereby reward and punishment create fierce emotional bonds that to others may appear âirrationalâ.
- Emotionally bonding with an abuser is actually a strategy for survival for victims of abuse and intimidation. In threatening and survival situations, we look for evidence of hope â a small sign that the situation may improve. When an abuser/controller shows the victim some small kindness, even though it is to the abuserâs benefit as well, the victim interprets that small kindness as a positive trait of the captor.
- Victims can look positively on abusers and controllers for not abusing them, when in a certain situations they would expect it (victoria note: for example Noam's insistence that things with him and Lehrer are different because he hasn't been 'as bad' with Noam as he was with Dara, so therefore things are okay)
- During the relationship, the abuser/controller may share information about their past â how they were mistreated or wronged. Sympathy may develop toward the abuser.
- While these feelings can be difficult to understand, they arenât strange and they arenât wrong. Love isnât something that just disappears overnight. Itâs a connection and emotional attachment that you create with another person.
- Abuse typically doesnât happen right away in a relationship, and it tends to escalate over time as an abusive partner becomes more controlling. You may remember the beginning of the relationship when your partner was charming and thoughtful. You may see good qualities in your partner; they might be a great friend to others, or maybe they contribute to their community. Itâs not shameful to love someone for who they could be, or for the person they led you to believe they were.
- You might feel that if you could just do or say the ârightâ things, the person you fell in love with would stay and the abuse would end.
- Abusive partners are human beings who are complex, like everyone else. They may be dealing with their own traumas, past or present. As their partner, you care about them, and maybe you hoped you could help or âfixâ them.
- A victim of childhood trauma relives the nightmare of their traumatic childhood when they fall prey to an abusive partner. The abusive partner slyly assumes the all-powerful parental role, while the victim regresses to a child that is eager to earn approval and avoid punishment
--
As for how Noam's love for Lehrer and for Dara differed, I ultimately think that what he felt for Lehrer wasn't real love. It was desire for unconditional acceptance...which Dara couldn't give him (because true unconditional acceptance is actually not healthy). It was desire for a father figure. It was wanting to be the exception to the rule--the only person Lehrer trusted, the only person Lehrer could rely on, etc. His relationship with Lehrer fulfilled Noam's needs of acceptance, parental love, and--maybe most tragically--being able to help/support someone. Noam at the time was completely devastated by his inability to help Dara, and his sense of complicitness in Dara's presumed death. He thinks he and Lehrer are similar, that he can help Lehrer in a way he couldn't help Dara, that he can fix Lehrer's old traumas and help him through his grief and that they will together emerge stronger for it. And so every time Lehrer hurts him, to Noam it's just another sign of things he needs to fix, it's just a symptom of Lehrer's trauma. When Lehrer would then, after, be gentle and apologetic, it's a sign that he is fixable, that if only Noam is good enough and loyal enough, he can save him. And realizing/remembering about Dara, and then about the abuse in his own relationship with Lehrer...it's kind of too late, he's already gotten himself enmeshed in this codependent relationship where his emotional needs are entirely at Lehrer's whim.
Iâm curious what it was like for Calix âraisingâ Dara...I can only assume Dara was a chaotic child
I like this question because I, too, have spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about this. Mostly for character development reasons and trying to understand their relationship dynamic, but also because the idea of Calix Lehrer as a father somewhat flummoxes me?
I think a lot about this image I saw once that looks an awful lot like Lehrer and bb Dara:
And the reason I keep coming back to it is because I feel like it really...gets their dynamic in Daraâs younger years? Like Dara clearly is comfortable around him, at least in public environments. Lehrer is eating sushi on his lunch break, which he decided to spend with his small child. Dara has some kind of puzzle toy because heâs a genius and Lehrer would want to cultivate that. And most importantly...Lehrer is looking at Dara with great interest, as if whatever Dara is saying is the most fascinating thing in the world.
Because I think at first, Lehrer saw so much potential in Dara. He was brilliant, and potentially quite powerful, and telepathic. Not only is the telepathy great politically, but I think it also made Dara a relatively precocious speaker and thinker. Lehrer actually enjoyed having conversations with Dara and found them stimulating.
Of course, I still donât think he âlovedâ Dara. He just wanted to use him. And he resented him, because Dara had telepathy, the one power Lehrer had tried to learn but could never fully master. And...heâs the one mind that, no matter how close Lehrer got to them, Lehrer would never be able to read. So I think Lehrer was physically abusive even when Dara was young, if perhaps it was more restrained than it would come to be when Dara was older. This is both because Lehrer would think corporal punishment was a perfectly valid way of raising a child, and also because some terrible part of him, the resentful and bitter part, wanted to punish Dara for being better than him.
Dara started at Level IV when he was four years old, so that was where he spent his days, although I think nights and weekends were at Lehrerâs. As Dara got older and Lehrer started to find him more exasperating than fascinating, he hired nannies to watch Dara. As Lehrer says in TEH...they went through seven. Turns out people donât enjoy a four-year-old reading their worst thoughts out of their brains.
Also, look at Lehrerâs socks.
i just know noam would love mÄneskin
so I was reflecting on Noamâs character and why he trusted Lehrer that much, because he seems to be very independent and doesnât trust people in power, for obvious reasons, but the truth is:
Noam is a teenager. Heâs 16, heâs working two jobs to support him and his father after his motherâs death and his fatherâs depression. And then his father dies too, he becomes a witching and the last person who was closed to him rejects him because heâs a witching. Heâs alone in this new life where he feels like he doesnât belong anywhere.
On the other hand, you have Calix Lehrer, the most powerful witching alive, taking interest in Noam. Lehrer, who, because of Carolinian propaganda, is presented as the one who singlehandedly destroyed the US. Lehrer is a war hero, he successfully led a revolution against a government that oppressed witchings, and he stepped down his king title when he didnât need it anymore.
Noam sees the years of oppression and the rise of policy against his people, and he sees this powerful man who wants to help. Itâs no wonder how he trusted him so quickly, how he became that close to Lehrer. He needed some kind of parental figure, he needed help for Atlantians, he needed power. And Lehrer offered him all of that. Thatâs why even when Dara told Noam to be wary of Lehrer, Noam didnât listen. He canât think straight when it comes to Lehrer, because Lehrer is also the only one who believed in Noamâs capacities when everyone else ignored him. It wasnât difficult to develop the strong bond that Lehrer needed to persuade Noam and read his mind.
Regrets op but I wish to add to this because Noam is literally the world's easiest target for Lehrer
Not only has Noam been rejected by everyone he knew before, he's being treated as less than as a witching. He almost fails his initial witching test and has everyone in that room, except for Lehrer, see him like a failure. Lehrer steps in and makes it clear Noam is a technopath. He saves Noam then.
Then Noam meets the other witchings and they know more than him, they have better educations and from the outside they may as well be a load of rich brats. Noam doesn't find out till later how misjudged that is but that's enough for him to feel more alone and gravitate to Lehrer, who's the only one telling him he's someone special. Noam has literally no one to fall back on.
Then of course Lehrer is someone Noam can relate to. He's gay, he's Jewish, he was tortured for being a witching, he says all the things that Noam believes in and deflects why he hasn't actually done anything about them. Noam is desperate to not be alone and Lehrer is the only one who seems to understand him. Not to mention all the little touches he gets in to reassure Noam.
And Noam is separated from everyone by his special little classes with Lehrer.
Noam is just so horrifically alone with no one who would dare step in to protect him from Lehrer. He had no chance
give ames carter a gf 2124
@sosaidvictoria where do i send my application
sorry i think bethany might have something to say about this
ames has two hands đ
Canât stop thinking about Ahava also having freckles and Dara insisting itâs because he has freckles even though they are not related
so I was reflecting on Noamâs character and why he trusted Lehrer that much, because he seems to be very independent and doesnât trust people in power, for obvious reasons, but the truth is:
Noam is a teenager. Heâs 16, heâs working two jobs to support him and his father after his motherâs death and his fatherâs depression. And then his father dies too, he becomes a witching and the last person who was closed to him rejects him because heâs a witching. Heâs alone in this new life where he feels like he doesnât belong anywhere.
On the other hand, you have Calix Lehrer, the most powerful witching alive, taking interest in Noam. Lehrer, who, because of Carolinian propaganda, is presented as the one who singlehandedly destroyed the US. Lehrer is a war hero, he successfully led a revolution against a government that oppressed witchings, and he stepped down his king title when he didnât need it anymore.
Noam sees the years of oppression and the rise of policy against his people, and he sees this powerful man who wants to help. Itâs no wonder how he trusted him so quickly, how he became that close to Lehrer. He needed some kind of parental figure, he needed help for Atlantians, he needed power. And Lehrer offered him all of that. Thatâs why even when Dara told Noam to be wary of Lehrer, Noam didnât listen. He canât think straight when it comes to Lehrer, because Lehrer is also the only one who believed in Noamâs capacities when everyone else ignored him. It wasnât difficult to develop the strong bond that Lehrer needed to persuade Noam and read his mind.
So...I may have made a Dara playlist...
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37Sxm7Ou2UCQc4S0VZVO5q?si=JNAxIdl4TCusfa4uIK4rVg
