welcome to oliver garden

. . . oliver llŷr - he/him . . . . . . bisexual - INTJ . . . . . . chaotic neutral . . .

[euphoric-brontide]

are you still here? do you check up on me? do you even care anymore?

[wickedseahag]

gays! clean your room

[astrocyte-deactivated20171202]

[straycatj]

オレ今ビデオ鑑賞中…

I’m watching a video…

[hentaijackist-deactivated202104]

Is it good, Mr. J?

[straycatj]

Yes, I am enjoying! My landlady like jazz but I prefer to rock if it is playing with a suitable volume for me!

もちろん!家主はジャズ派ですがオレは音量さえ適切ならロックが好みです!

[tinybed]

rock on mr. J! 🎸🎶❤

[usahano]

[bearie]

[tinybed]

it’s wednesday yeah baby let’s roll in that mud

[aesopquarriman]

the care bears always make fun of bedtime bear bc hes tired all the time and accidentally falls asleep but its only bc he stays up all night to make sure that everyone else sleeps well and to banish nightmares and protect people

[syrup21g]

[sagethesailor]

him

[espressobean]

yes

devour the dumpling child

[hofessorx]

who is he

[pochowek]

i love that one old timey 1910s trans dude who has a tiny wikipedia page for himself that he earned entirely due to him starting fights in bars and being the city’s hottest casanova

[pochowek]

i mightve remembered it wrong but it still feels like half of this page is “I’m A Man For Fucks Sake” and the other half is “That Motherfucker Is In Jail Again And Also Bit A Cop”

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

oh my GOD this is the best list

“ “[DEADNAME] Again" “ 

Like this glorious jerk got arrested so many times that was literally ALL THEY HAD TO WRITE IN THE PAPER

[television-for-dinner]

He was a vagrant street kid and Seattle girls were all over this guy, to the point where it caused a moral panic. There’s a famous anecdote about a women proclaiming her love in Denny Park and then trying to shoot herself, but most of these reports were falsely worded in a way that suggest his female admirers were “upset about being deceived” when really they were upset that he was wooing other women, or trying to get his attention by being as extra as possible.

What you also should know is that back in the day “seduction” was a literal crime that could put you in prison (unless you married the woman you seduced) but since he wasn’t cis they couldn’t really CHARGE HIM with anything. Legend.

[dog-of-ulthar]

I especially like “Seattle Woman Appears in Men’s Clothes Because She Says Her Features Make it Possible.”  I can’t imagine anything but someone going “Hey!  You can’t dress like that!” and him responding “Oh yes I can.  You see, I look very good.”

[anarcho-smarmyism]

role model tbh

[tru-scumbag]

me

[rituwal]

naruto boys react to you having a tapeworm

[rituwal]

Naruto: DONT JOKE ABOUT THAT!!! DATTEBAYO!!!!! D:<

Sasuke: **goes yandere** I-Im the only one allowed in your guts!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gaara: *turns away to hide his blush* i’ve always wanted a partner with a tapeworm….

Kiba: tch…. thats so fucking unepic. i dont want my dick to get gobbled up by your tapeworm, we’re through [Y/N]. You lose the internet. kek

Shino: You werent suppose to know about that. **slaps you around**

Shikamaru: this is such a pain in the ass

Rock: **Lee**

Neji: Um….Okay

Kakashi: **slurps the tapeworm out of your mouth and into his stomach** mmm!! yummy snack. thanks [y/n]!

[neroday]

[joeydeangelis]

[afon-afanc]

[jads-abum-rat]

@lotsandlotsofbirds

[unpretty]

[jads-abum-rat]

[vespertineflora]

[audio transcript]

Woman: He’s fine. He misses you.

Man: Give him my love.

Woman: Will do. 

[woman looks at ridiculous oversized bird]

Woman: SQUAWK

Bird: SQUAWK

THE END

[stability]

Good to know shitposting has been around since the inception of cinema

[bombing]

[tries to crowd surf at a TED talk]

[writhe]

the artist at work

[iicarys]

straight man: *speaks*

me and the only other gay person in class:

[mexicanjesuschrist-deactivated2]