Ever getting fixed? (Alessia Russo x Reader)
a/n: English isn't my first language, I hope you guys enjoying it, let me know what you guys think?
Alessia was so happy, but the moment I saw her coming to her family that was a few rows in from of my sit, I made my way out thinking I keep my promise to watch the Euro final but I don't have the right to celebrate with Alessia because it's my fault we aren't together anymore but also make me think I did the right choice she is happy with that bright smile and that's all I could ask for even though I would never be the reason for it again.
On the other hand, Alessia saw you leaving, and once again that image of you walking out break her heart so she put a smile on her face even though she was hurt that she didn't get the chance to talk to you, she couldn't make sense of why you break up with her, she blames herself for not pressing you more to know what happened, did she did something wrong, but at the same time she knew something was wrong the way you couldn't look at her when you break up with her or when you walk out of her life that day.
Once Leah saw that look on Alessia's face she knew she had texted you saying she need to talk to you. You look at the text stopping in your tracks.
This wasn't a great idea Leah is my best friend but since the break up I distance myself, I know this talk would hurt but we have to talk eventually.
So after all the celebration, Leah text me to go to the changing room before she made her way to the venue to continue the team and family celebrations.
Once you walk into the changing room you are grateful that it was just you and Leah there, taking a sit while you look at the floor hearing Leah walk around in the changing room not sure what she should say.
"Y/N talk to me, please! I don't know anything from you for a month and a half how can you do this? Do you know how worried I was?"
"I'm sorry I didn't mean it I just need time."
"What happened? You are so happy." Leah was just trying to understand the break up not even Alessia knew why you break up with her "Y/N you need to tell me what happened because this is destroying you and her. I don't know what you have on your mind, but I know for a fact that you would never hurt Alessia on purpose, so let me help you fix this."
You knew this was gonna happen, but you don't want to talk about it, Leah starts to pressure you further until it's getting too much making you snap.
" That's enough Leah!!" your voice was arshe something you regret right away "I'm sorry Leah. There is no way this is ever getting fixed, I mess up with my insecurities, and my mind it's a mess, I hurt her probably she doesn't even wanna see my face after what I did I walk away. Besides she is Alessia Russo the most beautiful amazing human being I know, soft inside and out, she can have anyone. She deserves better than me Leah I'm a mess I can't even bring myself to tell her how messed up. I'm scared and she deserves someone that doesn't lie to her because they are a coward."
I say with tears running down my face, Leah was quiet as she comprehended what you say, she rub your back trying to calm you down she blame herself for pushing you so much but she needs to know what is going on to help you also she knew this type of confront sometimes could cause you to have anxiety even panic attacks.
"Y/N don't think like that, didn't you see how happy you both are, how she break your walls, love is scary I know you have been through a lot and you find it difficult to be vulnerable to people to let them in and I also know you are pushing her away just because of how fast she break your walls, I also know you would do anything for her. And right now the only thing you're doing it's making her think she did something wrong..." she hugs you tightly knowing full well you are torturing yourself by bottling all without talking about it like you always do.
"She didn't and could never do anything wrong."
"I know but she doesn't and she has been a mess since you guys break up."
"I can't do anything now I mess up big time, she probably doesn't even wanna see me."
"Then why are you here?" she asks calmly.
"I promise her, you know I don't break my promises Leah, and she looks really happy!"
"Well she saw you walking out, and her face completely changed she is happy for the win, yes, but she isn't her happy self these last few months."
"God I shouldn't have come I didn't wanna mess up the best day of her life, I need to go."
I start to walk out Leah was calling my name but I couldn't be there, there was no way back, walking with your head down and trying to stop the tears, you bump against someone.
"I'm sorry!" your voice was shaking, without looking at the person you make your way around.
"Don't walk away again."
You freeze on your spot once you hear her voice, how you miss her voice but you couldn't help yourself to look at her not after what you have done, how you lie to her, knowing how much she must hate you. The only thought on my mind was she deserve an answer but you couldn't give it to her, and you couldn't move to also get away from her.
"Please!" hearing her voice break just hurt you so much, so you stay but you couldn't move or look at her.
You hear footsteps running far away, Leah yelling something next thing you know, you feel a punch on the face making you fall.
"How dare you? How can you be here after what you did to her, you don't even deserve her, or the way she looks at you!"
"I know..."
You whisper enough for them to hear, and you could see Leah and Alessia pulling Ella away before she punches you again.
"God damn it Y/N fight! You are a coward, you don't..."
"Stop." Alessia says calmly cutting her off.
"How can you be so calm she hurt you? You haven't done anything but cry, today was the first time I saw you smile in months, and she show up for what?"
"It's okay I deserve it" you say to Leah once she made her way to your side helping you get up.
"That's enough!! I never want you to lay another hand on her Toone I don't care if you are my best friend if you ever do that again you better forget my name" Alessia says piss off.
"Let's go, Toone, you are lucky Y/N would never lay a hand on you or anyone off the ring." you hear Leah before she pulls Ella along with her, leaving you and Alessia alone.
You feel your hands shaking no one knew that since you and Alessia break up that you haven't been able to even go to the gym, special after the last beat-up you suffer in the ring, your trainer just tell you to take a few days and get yourself together before you step a foot again on the ring.
You feel Alessia hands on your shoulders as she tries to examine your face, you keep your eyes on anything but her, she pulls you with her into a room making you sit on the chair, you hear her walking around trying to find something, once she find it, she put herself between your legs and press the ice carefully on your face.
"Why didn't you stop her?"
"Thank you and I deserve it after all." you grab the ice from her.
"How can you think you deserve something like that?"
"I understand her motive I hurt you, you are her best friend, I would have hit myself if it wasn't impossible after what I did to you. Besides, why are you helping me when I hurt you?"
"Y/N you know why I didn't stop loving you and I know you feel the same. Besides we need to talk..."
After those last words, you start to feel anxious about this how much you hate the effect these four words have on you, feeling all your straight go away every time you hear "We need to talk" It's like a trigger just brings back the painful memories, of people living, people you trust stabbing you in the back it's all too much before you know you are all curl up on your sit hugging your legs feeling your heart racing and you couldn't breathe, you could hear her voice far away but you couldn't make sense of what she was saying at all, usually no one can calm you down, nothing works out.
"Breath with me babe." she say grabbing my hand to put on her chest to help you follow her breath but wasn't working.
Next thing you feel her gentle hands on your face bringing you into a kiss the feeling of her soft lips press against yours was enough, she pull away your breathing was starting to get back to normal, a simple kiss was enough to stop something you have been trying for months to stop, she use her thumbs to clean your tears and pull your body against hers with her protective arms around, she start dragging her nails against my scalp, running her fingers through my hair knowing this always relax you.
After a few minutes, you had calmed down, you sight getting up scratching the back of your neck thinking how can you going to explain what just happened?
"I'm sorry..."
"I hear you talk to Leah so you don't need to apologize are you feeling better?"
"How much did you hear?"
"That's really how you wanna start this conversation." you shake your head "I don't understand you, how can you think you don't deserve me after all you have done for me, I have been asking myself since we started dating what I did to deserve you in my life. How can you say you are a coward after all we have been through, you think I'm dumb that I don't know how hard it's for you to express yourself."
"Aless..." she grabs my hands rubbing her thumbs over your knuckles.
"What did you lie about? And before you lie to me again keep in mind that I know when your lying to me."
"I'm sorry Less but you deserve someone better, someone you don't have to worry about because of their insecurities, anxiety, and panic attacks. I can't keep hurting you, every time I can't take anyone touching me because it gives me anxious."
"So that's what you are hiding from me? My touch just helps you besides...Y/N what hurt me was not knowing what was happening to you, you aren't talking to me only pushing me away. If I know what was going on I could have helped you."
"No Less I can't put you in this position, it would be selfish..." she grab your chin making you look into her eyes, those bright blue eyes that make you so weak that you would recognize them anywhere.
"You aren't I love you Y/N and that includes all of you, all your perfections and imperfections, so please don't push me away anymore that's the only thing I can't take it anymore."
"Less I love you too but... " you saw her smiling at you, her eyes with pure adoration making you stop talking "What? Why are you looking like that to me after all?"
"You love me?"
Your eyes are wide, you just told her for the first time you love her, they split from your mouth without much problem, making you panic.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it, now isn't the right time" you say looking down disappointing you once again hurt her by confessing to her how you feel when you just wanna do what's best for her.
"Why don't you mean it?" you could hear the hurt in her voice, which broke your heart even more did she really though you don't love her anymore?
"Of course I do Less but I'm trying to do what's best for you..."
She cuts you off by leaning down to kiss you, taking you by surprise eventually you kiss her back, her soft lips against yours, moving in perfect sync with so much passion, dropping your hands to her waist, only pulling away when we both need to breathe, she leans her forehead against mine.
"I don't need you to choose for me, I can make my own decisions Y/N. You are the best for me, so stop running from this I wanna be here for you in the good and bad days so let me do that."
You only nod and smile at her, feeling her thumb soft caressing your jaw, making you lean in her touch, closing your eyes once you see her smile.
"So this means you forgive me for hurting you?"
You ask but honestly, you didn't know if she would after you hurt her so much, if you could go back in time and not break her heart you would do it in a heartbeat. But you didn't know if she would even accept you back, you love each other but was that enough for her to forgive? All you know is that if she gives you another chance you wouldn't make her regret it, and love her the way she deserves it.
"I already did long before we talk." she pick your lips, holding your hand, walking you out of the room you came face to face with Leah and Toone, by the look on their faces Leah probably had given Toone a long talk.
"Y/N I'm sorry I punch you and about what I said but you have to understand you hurt Alessia I couldn't let you hurt her again."
"It's okay, don't worry I deserve it. Besides, I'm glad Alessia has a friend like you who would protect her even though they could be beaten up" you joke but also a bit seriously "But I promise you I will never hurt her again and I will protect her."
Alessia squeezes your hand lightly making you look at her she smiles at you knowing you are still beating yourself up because of what you did to her, you smile at her.
"I'm happy you two are together again! Finally, I don't have to watch you two being miserable without each other!" Leah says.
"True my favorite couple, my best friend, and my favorite boxer!" Ella says jumping on Alessia ruffing her hair.
"You're drunk Ella, get off..." the both of them laughing as you watch with a smile on your face.
Alessia has a heart of gold, you know now full well she is your person hoping you are hers, and you are gonna make sure that she would always feels loved.
