𝓔𝓷𝓳𝓲𝓷 — a complete menace
enjin absolutely believed he looked cool the first time he tried to dramatically lean against a wall. the wall was wet. he slid down it in complete silence while maintaining eye contact with you the entire time.
he points at random broken objects and says things like “this reminds me of you.” not romantically. just because the object ‘has vibes’.
he cannot whisper. enjin’s version of whispering is lowering his voice by maybe two percent and then aggressively stage-whispering, “don’t look now but i think that guy is following us.”
he gets into arguments with vending machines like they personally betrayed him.
he names stray animals after terrifying things. tiny kitten? ‘destroyer’. little pigeon with one foot? ‘judgment’
if you laugh at him once, he will repeat the same joke for the next six months like he’s a standup comedian on tour.
enjin definitely acts like he knows exactly what he’s doing during missions and then immediately asks you, “wait. what’s the plan again?” BRO?
he has the energy of a man who would confidently walk the wrong direction for thirty minutes and then say, “i was testing your loyalty.”
he starts fake beef with inanimate objects “this chair has been pissing me off all day.”
he’s the type to accidentally flirt with you while insulting you. “you’re annoying. don’t die though, okay?” okay 👍
the others can always tell when enjin likes you because suddenly he becomes the most embarrassing person alive.
he tries to sit ‘cool’. backwards on chairs, sprawled over couches, one leg up against walls. eighty percent of the time he loses balance.
enjin has definitely tried to catch something you tossed him, missed horribly, and then acted like he “didn’t feel like catching it.”
he gives awful pep talks. “listen. you’re probably not gonna die. and if you do, i’ll be really mad.”
he gets weirdly competitive over the dumbest things. — who finished their drink first. who spotted a bird first. who can throw trash into a bin from farther away.
if you’re sick, he hovers around you like a stressed stray dog pretending he doesn’t care. “drink water or whatever.”
he absolutely laughs at his own jokes before finishing them.
enjin looks like he’d be smooth with compliments but instead says things like, “you look… less terrible today.” and then spends the next three hours internally screaming because that wasn’t what he meant.
he would start a dramatic speech, forget halfway through, and then just point aggressively instead.
the second you praise him for literally anything, he becomes unbearable. “yeah, i know i’m talented.” just say thank you like a normal person.
he cannot handle cute aggression normally. if you do something adorable he either:
2. walks away immediately
3. grabs your face with one hand like he’s trying to stop emotions manually
he gives the worst nicknames imaginable. trashcan, gremlin, weirdo. meanwhile those are his terms of endearment.
he’s the kind of guy who says “easy” after surviving something by pure luck.
enjin would 100% lose a fight against a folding chair.
if he sees you carrying too many things, he’ll snatch half of them while insulting your life choices. “what are you, a pack mule?” dude, on the spank bank with you
he has absolutely barked at someone before.
he tries so hard to seem unbothered but gets jealous immediately. someone else makes you laugh and suddenly he’s inserting himself into the conversation. “okay but hear this joke—”
enjin’s idea of romance is sitting next to you in silence while occasionally shoving snacks into your hand.
he looks like the type to know exactly how to flirt but in reality he short-circuits the moment you flirt back.
if you fall asleep on him, he freezes completely. doesn’t move. doesn’t breathe correctly. acts annoyed the whole time. meanwhile internally: this is my life purpose now.
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