Evalain Shadow

Artist 🎨 Minimalist 🗽 Entertainer ✨ Take a pause away from the Algorithm ✌️ Deviantart.com/evalainshadow1993

[evalainshadow]

It's my 13 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[evalainshadow]

Marketing is gimmicky

Creation is authentic

[evalainshadow]

Making some interesting realizations about myself.

I'm not necessarily pro-AI, but I can't explain the value of the conversations I've had with chatGPT. I'm using it with caution. It gives me the space to talk things through and I've made a lot of progress. I'm aware of its flaws. But people are flawed too and it's not the only piece in my support system.

This is the conclusion of an intense conversation about my evolving art process. I just need a place to save it so it's not lost in the ether.

[evalainshadow]

My cat's tooth fell out, meaning she has to go to the vet.

I'm scared because my income isn't guaranteed but I'm going to work as hard as I can to get enough for her treatment.

I stopped the spiraling negative thoughts and thought no- I'm going to fix this, there is hope.

And then my palm started itching.

[evalainshadow]

Pile too much and it spoils.

[evalainshadow]

Triggers tell us what's dangerous or what to avoid.

[evalainshadow]

She draws you in just for the torture

[evalainshadow]

Been overcoming some challenges.

I had 2 hours between the first stream and the second, I didn't allow myself to do any scrolling beyond 5 minutes but I did allow either work on my platform or work on art. I didn't do any art, but I did work on my platform and made some progress updating the videos.

I wasn't very "productive" but I feel more focused on a direction, I can start tracking what I get done in the break inbetween just for data collection.

The collecting idea is fabulous, I am almost addicted to collecting lol. And collecting data about myself is fascinating and motivating. I listened to a tarot reader talking about how writing is going to be important, it already was the only "art" medium I was working in regularly and still kinda is, but I'm branching out with pen. I'm still recording my life how I use to, but writing has the most clarity. Its the most clear I've been about my life. That's a real testimate to how safe I feel again.

[evalainshadow]

My soul chose to break the cycle by accepting a lifetime of receiving pain rather than a lifetime of giving pain.

[evalainshadow]

Journal entry from today

[zmpl]

has anyone noticed that after the porn ban of 2018 tumblr was essentially killed from the mainstream and everyone flocked to other social media sites like twitter and meta. then those sites got enshittified to where twitter became Nazi Central and meta sites had an entire meme around getting “zucced” aka mark zuckerberg himself would ban you for saying a no-no word like fuck. and then the mainstream shifted to tiktok where infamous toddlerspeak sentences like “he got unalived by a pew pew” were born because if you once again say a no-no word like kill or gun or any other word that isn’t corporate i mean kid friendly then the algorithm will bury your post into the ground. and somehow we’ve come full circle and tumblr is now the most bearable social media site because although we can’t have female presenting nipples we can at least talk to each other like adults. has anyone noticed that at all or is it just me and the flaming skull

[evalainshadow]

I want to take the references I see in color, either in life or photo, and make charcoal drawings that are specifically tailored for colorblind people to be able to see the same beauty that I'm perceiving.

Yeah I know I could just photo edit. That's not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about, for example, taking the clouds of a sunset, waves of an ocean, rays of the sun, and making them tangible in an abstract way while maintaining the realistic beauty.

[evalainshadow]

Consumption VS Contribution

[evalainshadow]

[evalainshadow]

Hm

"cross pollinated ideas"

I like it.

[evalainshadow]

Happy New Year 🥳

[evalainshadow]

I'm going to conquer the artist's block