Knowledge is Power

Evaline Cordova I think too much. I think ahead. I think behind. I think sideways. I think it all. If it exists, I’ve fucking thought of it.

[evalinecordova]

There is No Potion for Happiness

[lucillewaters]

The two of them fell into silence again and Lucy hated it. Everything between them felt awkward and forced and she knew it was her fault. She was the one keeping secrets and pushing her only real friend away, and Evaline didn’t even know why she was doing that to her. Any energy she had left from keeping things to herself went into hating herself. Maybe it would’ve been easier for her to just start hanging around the other Slytherins. Surely if she started acting like them her worries would be forgotten and her mind would focus on something else. Maybe she would also actually enjoy her last year in some sort of twisted way if she just cut Evaline out and started living up to the reputation that the other houses held to her. It wouldn’t surprise anyone if she started acting as catty and cruel as every other Slytherin in her house currently. Well maybe no one except Evaline…

“Yeah, sure,” she mumbled once they had stepped into the library. Veering away from Evaline, Lucy headed towards the research books they needed. Her eyes scanned over the titles until the right one came into focus, pulled it out, and then continued searching for the other books they could possibly need. After a couple of minutes, Lucy already had three books floating besides her as she continued looking over the titles on the musty shelves. The texts were rather big and she already knew that her and Evaline would be perusing through the pages of the book for a while once they got back to the Room of Requirement.

Just as she was about to pull a fifth book from the shelves, a voice whispered to her. Glancing up from the shelves she realized it was one of her housemates as well as one of her soon to be Death Eater mates. Great. “What do you want, Finch?” she hissed  at the Slytherin before scanning the library to see if Evaline was coming back. “Just seeing if you’re still soft towards the Ravenclaw,” he grinned smugly. “Seems like you are. Poor mummy and daddy aren’t going to be happy about that.” Lucy glared at him, wanting so badly to cast a hex at him, but that would only draw attention to them. “Go away, Finch, before I make you,” she threatened, her voice growing low with anger. Finch pushed away from the shelves, continuing to look smug at her, “Enjoy it while it lasts, Waters, she’ll probably be dead by this time next year for all we know.” Lucy spun around so fast, ready to hex him straight into the Whomping Willow, but by the time she did the Slytherin was gone. Her hands were clenched into tight fists when she turned back to the shelves, trying to regain her composure before Evaline came back. The last thing she needed was Evaline to see her suddenly so upset. One thing was for sure though, when she got back to her dormitories, she was hexing Finch with something nasty. 

[evalinecordova]

She sighed as she returned the books, taking her time doing so. It wasn't that she wanted Lucy to get all the books they needed, but because instead of enjoying being able to talk to Lucy as she used to, it had also become exhausting. Exhausting to try and keep the conversation going when they both easily fell into a tense silence. She tried not to let on that she found the moments of deafening quiet between them awkward, but it was and she felt guilty for it. This wasn't how their friendship was supposed to be, it wasn't how it used to be and though to some extent it could only be expected considering the houses they belonged to, it still hurt to know that their friendship was, as much as she hated to think it, was falling apart. She'd spent more nights than she cared to admit lying in bed awake trying to figure out what had gone so wrong that they were going from friends to strangers with memories.

Forcing a polite smile to her lips, she thanked the librarian and went to go find her friend amongst one of the rows of tall shelves packed with books. "You seem tense," Evaline whispered, approaching the girl. She didn't know what the cause was or maybe it was just Lucy wanting to get the assignment over with as soon as possible so she could go back to avoiding her as harsh as that sounded, but it was how Evaline felt a lot of the time: that she'd morphed into something vulgar which Lucy wanted very little to nothing to do with. She noted how many of the books Lucy already had and with a wave of her wand, had the fifth one slide out of the shelf and held it in her arms, also plucking two more from where they floated in the air to stack on top of the one she was holding. "I think that's it?" She thought over the list of what they'd needed in her head then gave a nod. "Mind getting the other two? The last thing we probably need is for me to try and carry all five and then trip and drop them all because that would surely happen with my luck," she chuckled softly, motioning for Lucy to follow her over to the check out.

When they were out of the library she picked a brisk pace at which to walk back to the Room of Requirement not wanting to dawdle too much and then end up dropping any of the books. Just barely managing to point her wand where the entrance was located, she made it appear and squeezed inside making sure to keep a tight grip on the books. "Made it," she exclaimed with a sigh of relief. "All without dropping anything, thank goodness," a small smile played at Evaline's lips as she set the textbooks down beside where they'd left their things and began to search for the pages they'd need opened in each book.

[evalinecordova]

There is No Potion for Happiness

[lucillewaters]

Lucy was relieved when the door to exit appeared. She had heard Evaline say ‘Never mind’ to her almost confession, but not before she had heard her friend try to press her for information in earnest. She really did hate lying and keeping secrets from her best friend, but what else was she supposed to do? If she told Evaline, she had an idea of what the girl would say. Evaline would surely tell her that she had a choice in the matter or that she could go tell the headmaster of her ordeal, but she couldn’t do either of those things. Her path was set in stone and she couldn’t budge even if she wanted to. Plus, Lucy feared that if she did tell Evaline about what was going on and she refused to do anything about it, Evaline would take matters into her own hands just to protect her, and Lucy couldn’t let her friend do that for her. At this point, though, Lucy felt like she didn’t even deserve to have Evaline as her friend anymore. She was better off hanging out with the other students in her house or any of the other houses for that matter, rather than her.

“I don’t think I’ve been to the library in a while,” she said, trying to fill the silence between them. “Which is odd considering I probably would have needed to with the classes I’ve been taking this year…? But I guess I’ve been lucky since a few of the other Slytherins tend to have the books I need making me not actually have to go to the library since I could borrow the books from them…” Lucy bit her lip to stop herself from continuing to ramble. It was all pointless rambling too and she hated that. All of her endless, nervous babbling made her feel like a Hufflepuff.

A lot of students were in classes, so the halls were rather empty besides the few groups of seventh years that were wandering around. Thankfully, none of them were Slytherins and none of them seemed rather invested in glaring at the pair of them. It sort of made her jealous to think that there were actually students here without a care in the world while she was stuck living a nightmare with no one to save her. She had to wonder what their thoughts were about the impending war that was bound to happen or if they just didn’t care about it at all. Godrics, she wished her life was as simple as that. Her last year at Hogwarts would have been so much more fun if there wasn’t the talks of a war being rumored for the future. 

[evalinecordova]

She listened quietly to Lucy's chatter about not having been to the library in some time. Evaline probably hadn't had to go nearly as much as she did as she was fairly certain her other housemates would have the books she needed and could borrow them from time to time as well, but it was often the case that whenever she did try to speak with them they brought up the fact she was friends with a Slytherin. On one hand she did understand their disdain as the Slytherins, no matter how good a person an individual student was, all got lumped together by the other three houses. If Lucy had been even a Gryffindor or Hufflepuff she knew her housemates would've have given a care in the world that they were friends, but at Hogwarts it seemed to be that everyone could freely be friends with one another as long as Slytherins stuck to remaining friends with other Slytherins only and the other three houses only befriended others from their own house or the other two, but never a Slytherin.

Evaline hated how it was almost traditional for every student who wasn't a Slytherin to resent them, but on the other hand she also understood that the bitter feelings weren't entirely unfounded either. It was Slytherins after all that joined Voldemort's army of Death Eaters, they were the ones that bore the Dark Mark, but that didn't have to equate to every single person in the Slytherin house being deserving of such contempt and Lucy was a prime example. That was, to Evaline anyway as no one else seemed to see it that way. All her housemates saw was just another Slytherin, not the person that Lucy was and as much as she'd tried to explain it to them, the brunette knew her words fell on deaf ears. Eventually she'd stopped trying and only sighed and and shrugged in an attempt to not have to try and once more go over the reasons why she liked Lucy and remained her friend in spite of the reputations Slytherins had.

"I could probably borrow the books I needed from my housemates as well," she finally answered after a few minutes of silence when she realized she hadn't said anything yet in reply. "But I like going to the library. I like the silence there not that everyone is always that quiet." Sometimes students whispered a little too loudly or giggled a little too much which always earned them a sharp shushing from the librarian and a glare, but Evaline would block that all out as she'd sit there at one of the tables with books laid out in front of her while she worked on her assignments. "Will you start getting the books we need? I'll help once I finish returning these," she questioned as she pushed open the door to the library.

[evalinecordova]

There is No Potion for Happiness

[lucillewaters]

“Oh… Well if you need to go anyway, we can go,” she replied. It wasn’t her first choice to leave the Room of Requirement, but they did need the books. She also had to say though that she at least was happy to be heading to the library with Evaline. “Are we heading there now or should we wait?” she asked. “Everyone should be in classes still, so we should be able to find everything without any trouble…” Trouble, of course, referred to them not running into other people from her house or any other houses for that matter. Tensions were running way too high at the moment, and she feared that if anyone tried to cross her today she would snap and send a couple dozen of jinxes at their head.

She didn’t need to draw any more attention to herself than she already did by just being Evaline’s friend. If any of her fellow Slytherins saw her falling apart, she would definitely get some kind of letter from her parents because of it. Lucy already knew what the letters would hold. ‘Your father and I are very disappointed in your behavior, Lucille. We raised you better than that and we do not expect a Waters to behave like an ill-bred child. Do not embarrass us further, Lucille, we mean it. You’re lucky we’re even letting you finish the year there, so start acting accordingly or expect to find yourself back home with a different role to play.’ The first time her mother had threatened her in a letter with being pulled from Hogwarts to get the mark instead, Lucy had shaped up immediately. She held her head high and acted like the Waters she was supposed to be even if it killed her on the inside. Those few weeks she had done that was when she had ignored Evaline the most. She just didn’t trust herself to be around her friend without cracking or without Evaline realizing something else was up with her. It wasn’t until she had received another letter from the owlery simply saying ‘Better’ from her mother that she started to relax again.

All Lucy could do was shake her head and let out a defeated sigh. “You just don’t get it, Evaline,” she said. “My life has been planned since the moment I was born. I don’t get a choice. In anything. I’m lucky I’m even taking my final year considering—” Just as quick as she had cut herself off, she suddenly stood up. “We should really probably head to the library,” she quickly blurted out, wanting to change the subject as quick as possible. Was she really that stupid? Had she really just almost let it slip to her best friend that she was getting the Dark Mark and was going to be joining the Dark Lord at the year end? “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” she mumbled to herself as she turned away from Evaline to try and conjure up the exit to the Room of Requirements. 

[evalinecordova]

"Why don't we go now to avoid the rush of student traffic later?" She suggested with a smile. She also didn't want to cause anymore stress for Lucy than it seemed she was under by having to pass by a group of Slytherin students who would jeer at her friend for walking down the corridors with a Ravenclaw. It could've been worse, she could've been a Gryffindor so Evaline counted herself lucky that she wasn't otherwise she wasn't so sure her friendship with Lucy would've worked out as well as it had, or at least when it had been well. She missed those days when they'd gotten along just fine without much of a hitch. The usual mockery from the other Slytherin and Ravenclaw students, but it hadn't been much of an issue in the beginning.

At the beginning of the year Lucy had ignored her nearly completely. It'd all been so abrupt that Evaline didn't know what she'd done to cause the change if it had been her fault at all. But when she heard Lucy talk about how her life had already been planned out for her she began to question if it had something to do with whatever was going on at home. If she could've helped she would, but knowing Lucy she'd probably get a 'There's nothing you can do' kind of response. She didn't know what it was like to have every detail of her life dictated to her other than her parents pushing her to become an Auror. She figured though if she happened to achieve that then they'd start planning out the next steps she should take with her life, but she wasn't sure if it was something to say to Lucy in response or not. Evaline opted to shrink back and keep her mouth shut for now.

"Considering what?" She pressed with a murmur as she got to her feet. "Never mind," the brunette hastily added a second later though as it didn't seem like the other girl was in any mood to explain. She let out a quiet sigh as she waited for Lucy to conjure the exit to the room when she heard her friend mutter but a second realized Lucy was chiding herself for something that Evaline wasn't sure what exactly. "I'll get it," she mumbled, pulling out her own wand and summoned the exit and slipped out of the room. It was strange not being able to talk to Lucy as she once had been able to. Strange and it also hurt if she was being completely honest, but she didn't think Lucy cared to know given the number of times she'd already been brushed off by the girl. She was thankful when few people were in the hallways as most were in class like Lucy had mentioned. Their footsteps echoed in the hallways as she walked briskly to the library, the books she needed to return clutched against her chest.

[evalinecordova]

There is No Potion for Happiness

[lucillewaters]

“At least your parents want you to have a career,” she said, sighing. “Sure, my parents want me to get the grades and ace my N.E.W.T.s, but it’s only so I look good for whoever they decide is worthy of me.” Lucy rolled her eyes at that. She hated that her parents essentially thought of her as some prized pony to be sold off to the highest bitter at the end of her studies. It was the only real reason that her parents were beginning to send her letters to be friendly to so and so in her house. Every person her parents tried to set her up with made her want to gag. They were always pretentiously stuck up and they were meticulous about everything. How many times had she sat in the Great Hall to enjoy a meal, only for one of her fellow Slytherins try and cozy up to her because their parents thought they would make a great match? The only thing worse about it was that she couldn’t refuse the advances without getting a howler from her parents about the etiquette of being a lady.

“I don’t think I really get a chance to figure out anything, really.” The Dark Mark and marrying a pureblood Slytherin were the only two things that were in store for her in the future, nothing more and certainly nothing less. It didn’t matter that she didn’t believe in blood purities. It didn’t matter that a few of her teachers thought she would excel as a healer. And it especially didn’t matter that the only person she had an interest in wasn’t in Slytherin. Her whole life was really going to shit and there was nothing Lucy could do about it. She could only plaster on a smile and pretend to be happy about the life that was being set up for her. “I guess I should be lucky that I don’t have to worry about my future, but…” Lucy shook her head, unsure of what to say about the matter. There really wasn’t anything she could do. Her future was set in stone.

When the subject was changed to starting their assignment, Lucy nodded her head in earnest. Homework would hopefully be enough of a distraction for her, especially if she was doing research. “At least Slughorn is only making us write three parchment papers worth. I think I would die if it was anything more than five. Of course writing an essay certainly will be nothing compared to actually preparing the potion in class with him watching us…” Not that Lucy was particularly nervous about the assignment they were given. Professor Slughorn liked the both of them and he wasn’t as difficult as he could have been when it came to N.E.W.T level classes. “What part did you want to do first?” she asked as she tried to think about the assignment given to them. Lucy frowned slightly as she thought it over, “Maybe we should have gone to the library to grab research first. We do have to cover a lot.”

[evalinecordova]

"We can go to the library then come back if you want?" Evaline suggested. "I have my library card with me and I needed to return some books anyway which was I going to do after this, but since we need to go now I could do it then." Anyone that knew Evaline knew she was always taking out and returning books. Of course she'd never have enough time to read every single book there was in there, but other people in her house often joked that if anyone were able to pull off such a feat it'd probably be her with all the reading she did. She was prone to staying up late and reading under her blanket using her wand for light until she could feel exhaustion catching up to her or she'd fallen asleep face down in the book and wake up the next morning with the pages stuck to her face. If someone had scribbled in the book before she'd borrowed it sometimes the ink would get on her face as well.

At first she always studied solely to get good grades, but now she also read to distract her mind from the dreading feeling that her friendship with Lucy was quite possibly falling apart because of how distant they were becoming. Of course she'd do anything she could to try and save it, but if that wasn't what the other girl wanted then there was only so much Evaline could do alone. She hoped it was temporary, whatever it was that was happening to them, but she wasn't so sure that it would be as things had been changing between them for some time now.

"You're in an arranged marriage? Well, will be," Evaline asked trying to imagine what that might be like. Not very enjoyable she thought. "Why can't you decide for yourself who you want to be with? I think the future, although it can be scary when you don't know for sure what's going to happen, isn't meant to be something where everything's set in stone. I think I'd rather have it to be something I worry about than have it all planned out for me because otherwise what's the fun in knowing it all and especially if you don't like it? If it's something you really don't want then couldn't you change it?" She knew she was treading in dangerous territory in that her questions might upset Lucy, but she didn't understand how the other girl could let it all be planned out for her and go along with it if it wasn't something she wanted. She always thought of Lucy as ambitious and assertive, not letting others dictate to her what she would and wouldn't do, but from what she was hearing, the blonde was going right along with everything her parents had in mind for her regardless of her own feelings about the subject.

[evalinecordova]

There is No Potion for Happiness

[lucillewaters]

A sigh of relief left her. “Okay,” she said with a light smile. It wasn’t much and it didn’t wipe away her problems, but it was a start. She could at least pretend things were normal if she was hanging around Evaline. At least that’s what she had hoped. Evaline never carried the same set of standards that her house seemed to, and although she still shared traits with her fellow Slytherins, she didn’t live solely by their so-called code of conduct. But the best thing about Evaline was that Lucy never had to worry about getting suspicious glances or glares from her. Lucy had always hoped it was because Evaline knew that Lucy wasn’t some stereotypical Slytherin. Sure, she loved green and she had an affinity for potions and possibly the dark arts, but she never acted cruel, nor did she act like a snob. The only time she had ever acted out of line was because someone had provoked her or she saw another house picking on her own—but really that was rare and it usually only came from Gryffindors. At least Evaline wasn’t from that house, she wasn’t sure their friendship would’ve survived that.

Lucy nodded her head in approval of the location choice. At least there would be no lingering glances in their direction if they were in a room that no one knew about. She already knew that just talking to Evaline now would mean she would get grief once she headed back to the dormitories. Already, Lucy could hear the snarky comments about being with a Ravenclaw or asking her if she at least got something good out of hanging around the bookworm, and it already made her blood boil. If it weren’t for the fact that her parents would no doubt hear about her acting out against her fellow Slytherins and then get a howler about it, she would have cursed them right to graduation. But the daughter of the Waters family had to present a picture of perfection or risk her parents’ wrath.

Smiling still, although it still felt more mechanical than natural, she followed suit. The walk down the corridors felt like such a familiar and routine thing for her at this point and it was sad to think that after this year, they’d be done with Hogwarts. “Last year,” she finally commented during their walk to the seventh floor. “Excited about it?” Her lips turned down into a slight smile at the sound of her voice and the topic she had brought up. For someone who had been friends with Evaline since first year, it felt as if they were strangers forced into conversation for the first time and she hated that. “I still don’t know what my plans are really, even though I’m taking N.E.W.T.s level classes for pretty much all of my classes…” The classes she was currently enrolled in probably would’ve meant she could’ve become a healer, but now with her impending future, Lucy doubted that that was going to happen for her. She’d be lucky not to end up in Azakaban by this time next year, unless the Dark Lord ended up succeeding with whatever plan he had in store for the world. 

[evalinecordova]

She turned her head in the direction of her friend upon hearing the girl speak. "I guess so? I don't know, in some ways yeah because no more school, but on the other hand not really because I still have a lot more work I need to do if- Well, I just have a lot to do still like exams and such," she corrected herself with a thin smile. Evaline didn't like the sound of trying to live up to expectations of herself that weren't her own, but it wasn't as if she had any other plans either. In that sense she was probably too laid-back if she was letting her parents dictate her life to her and she was willing to go along with it with hardly any disagreement. Some days she'd wonder aloud if it was something she really wanted to pursue, being an Auror, but her parents always responded in the way each time; she got the marks for it, she was smart and quick on her feet, and it was a respectable position to attain.

Evaline wasn't sure if that was a good enough reason to chase after that goal, but she also didn't have any better ideas so she always smiled and nodded and continued on the path she was on. She got the sneaking suspicion that her parents only treated her as they did because she was trying to live the life they wanted her to have and if she ever stopped and tried to do something else with her life they'd forever be on her case about it, trying to make her feel guilty for having decided against aspiring to be an Auror. Sure she could always move out of the house, which she was going to do eventually anyway, but she'd always feel exactly as they'd want her to feel: guilty for having disappointed them.

"You still have time to figure it out," she flashed Lucy a reassuring smile. "My parents want me to become an Auror so that's what I'm trying to do at the moment," she gave a small shrug. "I don't really know if it's what I want, but it wouldn't be a bad thing to be either if I were able and I didn't really have anything else in mind that'd be better so I figured why not," the brunette rose her shoulders in another shrug. "I can't really picture myself as one though, but I guess we'll see. I told them not to hold their breath over it, but I don't think they really listen to me at all so I'm sure my words just fall on deaf ears. If it doesn't work out though then they can't say I didn't try to warn them about it," she gave a dry laugh. "Should we start?" She asked, setting everything up that they needed.

[evalinecordova]

There is No Potion for Happiness

[lucillewaters]

Lucy followed her out of the classroom all the while debating with herself about what she was going to do. Ever since her parents told her she would be joining the ranks and receiving the mark, she felt just out of it. Half the time she didn’t even know where she was anymore, let alone who she was. She was living in a giant nightmare and even being around Evaline wasn’t going to help. Really, it just made it all worse. She couldn’t even meet her friend’s eye anymore. It was stupid, but she completely thought that Evaline would take one look at her and just know that she going to be getting the Dark Mark. Well maybe she wouldn’t know that exactly, but Lucy knew that Evaline would at least know that she’s hiding something from her. She kept her distance because she just couldn’t tell her. She couldn’t tell her the truth and she also couldn’t dare lie to her. It was a no win situation and because of it, Lucy kept her Slytherin mouth shut. It was the only way.

Her eyes flickered to the ground as she passed her fellow Slytherins. She didn’t want to deal with their glares for working with a Ravenclaw, nor did she want to see the knowing looks from them like they were in on some giant secret together. It didn’t stop her from seeing the look on Evaline’s face though. She hated how distant she had gotten with Evaline in such little time, and she hated to think what Evaline thought about her because of it, but what else could she do? “Okay…” she murmured softly, continuing to stare at the ground. If the ground could open up and swallow her whole, she wished she would. For God’s sake, she didn’t even feel like a Slytherin anymore. Any of that resourceful cunningness all seemed gone for her. She really was nothing more than a coward.

She hadn’t even said anything when Evaline turned to walk away. She stopped in the middle of the hallway, just watching Evaline walk away, and it definitely hurt. All Lucy could think was that one of these days, Evaline was going to end up walking away from her out of disgust or because she hated the person she had become because of her parents’ wishes. Lucy never wanted to see that happen, but she knew that particular scenario was bound to happen sometime in the following months. Or at least until Evaline found out that Lucy was going to take the Dark Mark. But maybe she could try to enjoy her friend’s company until that fateful day came.

“Evaline, wait,” she called out to the brunette. Her feet finally moved from its spot, quickly striding over to where Evaline was heading to. “I’m not busy now if… If you wanted to work on it. Unless you have other studies to get to.” She swallowed hard, chewing on her cheek. If she didn’t want Evaline worrying about why she had been so distant in the past weeks, she needed to try to act like her usual self. But even with that in mind, Lucy was having quite a difficult time summoning up the girl she used to be. Get it together, Waters, she thought, scolding herself. “Library or do you wanna go someplace more private?” she asked, forcing a hint of a smile onto her face. It was completely by accident that the two of them had found the Room of Requirement, but it had definitely come in handy considering the complicated friendship they held. Well maybe not complicated, but it was at least viewed that way by everyone else. 

[evalinecordova]

Evaline stopped short and gripped the books tighter, holding them closer to her chest. If only that 'Evaline, wait' would be followed with an explanation as to what had happened to them, but that would be wishing for the impossible so she didn't hold her breath. She let out a quiet sigh then turned around to face her friend . "Yeah?" The brunette asked, apprehensively. She thought about the offer for a minute though mostly because she didn't want to sound too eager to say yes. "Okay," she nodded after a minute. "I have time now." She didn't have another class for the day and studying for other classes was something she'd always have on her to-do list so she could've pushed the project off as much as she wanted in favor of studying but then it'd never get done either.

She was unable to stop the smile that snuck onto her face at the suggestion of somewhere else. The Room of Requirement wasn't a place she typically ventured to unless she wanted to be alone or when they'd been younger and used to slip off there to escape their everyday lives for a moment. It was relaxing to be there and few ventured there although as far Evaline knew, no one else even went there as she'd never walked by the room and heard anyone or went inside to find someone else already there. It was tranquil in the Room of Requirements and sometimes where the brunette would go to study rather than go to the library if she knew she wouldn't need any other books for researching things. Plus there was more space and she wasn't restricted to just one table which was sometimes hard when she had a lot of papers and books open and spread out in front of her.

"I like the latter option I think," Evaline nodded, the smile still present on her face. "Less people, more space to work," she added as if she needed to explain herself. Maybe she'd have a chance to talk to Lucy about what was going on or, at least, even if she got nothing out of the other girl there wouldn't be anyone else around to witness their discussion and they wouldn't have to be self-conscious as no one would try to eavesdrop or anything of that sort. They already got disapproving looks from their fellow housemates simply by walking down the corridors together -- they didn't have to say a word to each other, didn't have to look at one another, and their housemates would whisper, not understanding why a Ravenclaw was spending time with a Slytherin and vice versa. "Come on, let's go." She motioned happily for Lucy to follow. She didn't know how long this moment of reprieve from feeling so shut out from her friend would last, likely very fleeting, but Evaline would still take it since it was better than no time with her friend after all.

When they reached the room and had shut themselves inside, Evaline set her things down and got out the assignment with the directions they were meant to follow. She was dying to say something, the words burning the back of her throat, about the direction their friendship was headed in and how she felt as if that Lucy was almost trying to push her away with the goal to make her not want to be friends. But that was silly, right? Why would Lucy not want to be her friend after all these years of their friendship? It didn't make complete sense to her and that frustrated her to no end -- the not knowing. But she wanted to give herself -- themselves -- a moment before she broached the subject so she could have a few minutes to try and enjoy being with Lucy again.

[evalinecordova]

I'm in love with you, Evaline.

I... I don't know what to say. Thank you? It would help if I knew who this was.

[evalinecordova]

There is No Potion for Happiness

[lucillewaters]

Over the years, Hogwarts became her refuge. It was easily the first place she thought of when it came to home since things at the Waters’ residence had become different since the Dark Lord had taken a place in the wizarding world. Her parents were one of the handfuls of pure-blooded families that had taken up with him and his followers and it seemed like if the parents were joining, their children were expected to as well. Already she knew of people in Slytherin that had come back from summer break or even winter holidays with the Dark Mark on their arms and had shown it off proudly in their common room, and while some of the older students chattered about it excitedly, she had always been frightened by it all. She had heard enough talks about what the Dark Lord wanted to know that this had to be trouble. And more importantly, she just didn’t believe that muggles and muggle-born witches and wizards were inferior to the rest of the wizarding community.

But then again, she didn’t think she would have ever felt that way if she hadn’t made friends with Evaline that first year at the train station. Lucy was sure that a lot of things would have been different for her if she hadn’t become friends with the quiet girl from Ravenclaw. Out of all the people she had met so far, both in her house and out of it; Evaline was the only one that she seemed to have really clicked with. With Evaline it was just easy to be her friend because there wasn’t an agenda there. The people in Slytherin just seemed to be friends with one another because of family connections or business connections, and that just wasn’t something Lucy wanted. Her parents were already essentially that when it came to raising their daughter and all she really wanted was a friend she could actually depend on. And that’s where Evaline came in—until now anyway.

The moment her parents had joined the ranks and had taken the Dark Mark, she knew that she was going to be dragged into all of that. And the exact moment her parents had told her that she would be getting the mark at the end of term, Lucy felt like the rug was being pulled out from under her. She had always been the perfect daughter, following her parents’ rules and making sure the Waters name was held in a good light, but getting the mark? She didn’t want it. But she knew she also didn’t have a choice in the matter either. Her parents never thought children should get to voice their opinions. It was always and had always been there way, and they would rather bring her kicking and screaming than to allow her to say no to their wishes. Of course everyone in her house, or at least the students that already had it, now knew she was going to be getting it, and she couldn’t just tell them she didn’t want it, so instead she had to plaster on a smile and pretend she was pleased with the turn of events.

The only person she hadn’t told about it was Evaline and when she thought about it telling her, it made her stomach churn. Lucy just couldn’t tell her best friend that at the end of the school year she was going to be some enemy of the Ministry and enemy of just about everyone else in the world. Knowing that made her get to the point that she just couldn’t be around Evaline for too long because of her own guilty conscious. Although it was difficult to completely avoid her best friend when they shared classes, and now they were partnered together for their potions class and there was no way of just brushing her off. It was all she was thinking about as they were dismissed from class and she had Evaline on her tail. “Uh… I’m not sure actually, but I guess we should get it out of the way as soon as possible, right?” 

[evalinecordova]

She gave the blonde a skeptical look. Lucy was different, she was distant and pulled away from her quickly, and as much as she'd wanted to chase her friend down she also had obligations such as making sure her own grades didn't slip. It meant a lot of studying had to be done on her part as she couldn't afford to get below excellent marks. Her parents wanted her to strive to become an Auror, something that Evaline wasn't sure she wanted but because she didn't know what else she wanted to do with her life she agreed to go along with their plans and do her best to make it happen. Little did she know, that if it were to happen, Lucy would be the same kind of people she'd be hunting down.

Evaline didn't know Lucy was getting the Dark Mark, she knew that surely some of the other Slytherin students were, but it hadn't crossed her mind that her best friend might've been one of them or rather she refused to let it. She wasn't going to allow herself to believe that maybe Lucy would receive it until the girl told her otherwise. She just couldn't imagine the other blonde agreeing to such plans or going along with them willingly, but then again what did she know? Evaline wasn't a Slytherin, she didn't know what went on in their common room let alone when the students were back home with their families. Her own parents abhorred the Dark One and in turn Evaline had come to loathe him as well. However that wasn't an opinion she shared with Lucy or with anyone really for that matter. No one in her common room really spoke of him nor did anyone feel much of an inclination to either.

But the Slytherin house was strongly associated with the Dark One as that was the house where his followers came from and thus it became the house that the other three kept their distance from. Her friends had told her to keep her distance from Lucy merely because she was a Slytherin, but how could she when Lucy was her best friend? Evaline always gave a nod of her head and a muttered 'I know' in response to her friend's warnings, but that never stopped her from spending time with the other girl. Although that was becoming more and more difficult when Lucy was also pushing her away for some unknown reason. Evaline wasn't sure if it was because of something she'd done without realizing she'd done something wrong or if it was because of something she'd said or what.

"Yeah," she finally responded, her brow still creased into small frown. Letting out a sigh she headed towards the back of the classroom to the doors and pushed them open, holding it for Lucy then followed the other girl out. "I guess let me know when you have the time," she shrugged, her frown fading and being replaced with a pressed smile. Evaline opened her mouth to say something more, to say she missed Lucy and how they used to be, but that'd be too much and she wasn't going to put herself in that vulnerable a position by admitting to it so instead she closed her mouth, her hands gripping her books tighter as if they'd keep her from blurting anything out unintentionally. Whatever was causing Lucy to keep her distance had to have been something big or else she wouldn't possibly be pushing her away, or at least that was what Evaline liked to tell herself not sure she wanted to know if the real reason was something else such as Lucy no longer saw her as a friend but rather as a nuisance, someone who was beneath her because she wasn't a pureblood like her. If Lucy's goal in shutting her out was to make it hurt then she was having a great success. "You know where to find me," she mumbled, looking away from her friend as she turned to head off towards the library.

[evalinecordova]

There is No Potion for Happiness

Potions. It was an alright class as far as Evaline was concerned. Interesting enough that she wasn't bored in class and that it made her top three favorites of classes to take, but it wasn't her most favorite. Useful though, sure, so she at least was learning something practical. She walked into class and took her usual seat which happened to be adjacent to Lucy. Lucy was someone she happened to meet by chance on the train to Hogwarts when they were both still first years. No one would've expected them to be friends; Evaline knew she'd be sorted into Ravenclaw with her love for books and knowledge, much like her own mother who'd also been sorted into Ravenclaw as well, while Lucy was more than likely bound to be a Slytherin. Their personalities mismatched, but somehow during the span of when the train had departed from the platform in London and reached its destination of Hogwarts, the two had become fast friends, remaining as such since then.

Evaline always got a hard time from her fellow Ravenclaw friends for hanging around a Slytherin. Those in Slytherin were typically the kind of people that those from other houses kept their distance from, but Evaline wasn't about to let the difference in the houses they were each apart of stop her from being friends with Lucy. That would be silly and not all Slytherins were going to turn out to be bad people who all took the Dark Lord's side or so Evaline chose to believe. And so she shrugged off the comments of warning from her other friends and continued to spend time with Lucy. However over the years, the other girl seemed to become more and more distant with her. This year Evaline had nearly no chance to ever see Lucy outside of a class and talk to her, something that frustrated her greatly. She didn't know why her friend was suddenly acting so distant. Sure, she had her suspicions thanks to the whispers of warning from her friends, but until she heard it from her friend herself, then Evaline refused to turn her back on the girl.

Being assigned a partner project by the professor at least gave her a small chance to talk to the other girl again. She turned to face Lucy with a small smile as they were assigned to be partners and then dismissed from the class with the guidelines for their assignment given to them. "So when did you want to get together to work on this?" She inquired. Evaline considered adding that maybe they could go into Diagon Alley together after or if they wanted to take a small break, but she decided against it for the time being and would perhaps ask when they did meet up. To say it hurt that Lucy was beginning to pull away from her was an understatement, but it wasn't something the brunette was about to let on or at least not in a classroom of people. That was a topic that could wait until it was just the two of them with less people around.