I've said quite a few times that I would try to make a comeback here, and each time I just kinda close out and don't come back. Well rather, I don't post. Sometimes I check up. I want to, I really do, but I must confess that something's happened behind the scenes that's really fucked up my life and prevented me from getting out of this depressed funk. Things got worse. A lot worse.Â
Since moving out of my apartment, life hit me hard, and life got harder. I fell into a depression that I just couldn't shake, due to losing my belongings. I got my things back after almost a year, but life wasn't about to let up on those punches. My mother in law doesn't like me. She doesn't care much for my health problems, and there have been times where she hasn't helped me get my meds. I've been off of them, and I've been going through severe withdrawals. Without my meds, I end up in so much pain I can't move.
I'm chronically ill with several conditions, some which have no cure. For years, I had SSI and Medicare. That's how I survived. Without it, I can't afford my near dozen medications.Â
I've lost a lot of weight because I can't get foods that I can eat often. Thus, I've gotten thinner and weaker. This has been a big problem for me for most of my life. Because of my condition, eating and even drinking is hard for me. I'm disabled.
A few weeks ago, the government cancelled my SSI and Medicare. I now no longer have insurance, or any source of income. I canât get a job, because my health is so poor. Physically and mentally.
This is probably one of the biggest blows I've had to deal with in my life. Things have been hard, and I haven't been stable. My mental condition isn't the best because of the stress. I don't know how I'm going to survive.Â
On the 21st I'm going home to fight to get my insurance back. This is.... stressful. Beyond stressful. The stress takes a huge toll on my already poor health.Â
I don't know how this is going to go or what I'm going to do with my life from now on.
I'm sorry for all of the people I stopped talking to. I got distant, and it's my fault, not anyone elses. I can't begin to apologise enough. But I've been fighting for a long time, and I'm tired. I haven't had the energy to function.
I'm not gone forever, but I need some time. Iâll be back, I will. I couldnât say bye to Eva or all my friends here. But please understand I need some time right now. Thank you.








