@theartofmadeline
pixel skylines
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
šŖ¼
Stranger Things
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One Nice Bug Per Day
Kiana Khansmith
wallacepolsom
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noise dept.
EXPECTATIONS
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
if i look back, i am lost
The Stonewall Inn
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NASA
occasionally subtle
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@evangelinelovette
Damn you, PCOS
Itās been awhile. I never thought Iād come back to this space. I thought I outgrew it. But today, I just really needed a safe space to process and unpack my thoughts. 2 miscarriages later, Kit and I finally decided to see the gynaecologist. Results from todayās visit werenāt very positive. Not bleak but not good either. Iām trying to see the good in this but it is difficult. I feel pain andā¦
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It's been awhile
Itās been awhile
Itās been awhile since Iāve updated this space. Hello world, how have you been doing? 2020 has been pretty tough on all of us huh? Itās almost as if Covid-19 activated Murphyās law.
We just spent the past 4 days celebrating Thaddyās second birthday. Time really flies. Iām 30 and Thaddy is 2. I wonder how Thaddyās sibling is doing in heaven. I wonāt lie, a part of me still aches when I imagineā¦
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Gratitude Journal
As part of the therapeutic process with my clients, I often ask them to write gratitude journals. So hereās the therapist practicing what she preaches.
Thaddy is 19 months now and weāve started looking into putting him in a school. This honestly came sooner than expected and is definitely bittersweet. My baby is now a toddler and is ready to go to school, where he will be away from mama andā¦
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I'm still not done healing and that's okay
Iām still not done healing and thatās okay
Late to the game (like real late) but the hubs and I just finished watching all 9 seasons for HIMYM. The ending just wrecked me though. Doesnāt help that motherās day just passed. So here I am awake since 3am and have been trying to stop feeling like crap for the past 2 hours. To. No. Avail.
Truth is I think parts of me still hurt when I think about my mom and idkwhy itās so hard to admitā¦
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Love takes effort
& when I say effort, I donāt just mean effort to show love but also effort to take notice of the acts of love.
Am currently running a fever. Apparently my body likes to wait for long breaks or holidays to fall tremendously ill and for some reason it is being like a some of the boomer Aunty and Uncles during this COVID-19 circuit breaker and mistaking this stay home period as a holiday. Beenā¦
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4a.m.
Itās 4 in the morning and Iām still cooking Thaddyās soup stock. Made an extremely big batch this time round so that I wonāt need to stay up late and do this so often. It is really tough juggling so many things. Practicum has been super intense (thankfully though because this also means that I most probably SHOULD be able to complete my hours by the deadline) and Thaddy has been growing way tooā¦
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You are Good
In my fears, You are good. In my stress, You are good. When I am overwhelmed, You are good. When I feel like Iām not good enough, You are good.
Thank You Lord for keeping me strong and sustaining me even as I get busier and busier. Thank you for keeping me sane and helping me to somehow just be able to manage it all. You are indeed my strength when I am weak. This week has been crazy busy andā¦
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Anxiety
COVID-19 really not doing me a favour in trying to get things moving in my practicum. All looks calm on the outside but my stress level is currently at 99. I feel like I need to REALLY look into self care. é½éę²ęēę£ēéå§åå·„ęå·²ē¶ęå°å£åäŗćTo be honest, the feedback from my supervisor has been really great, but I think itās really my expectations on myself. I just really want to ace this and prove to myselfā¦
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ē¼ē¾å°
Was clearing out old chatlogs and files.
Came across chatlogs with an ex.
There was a whole lot of fighting.
Like a whole lot.
And I realised Iāve come a long way.
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And I canāt help but feel thankful that I am no longer stuck where I was. May have taken me 20 over years but at least Iām not the insecure girl who was looking for validation from all the wrong places.ā¦
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Still painful
If you ever wonder, if you ever do at all, a little part of me still hurts and feels sad when I think about how we ended. I never thought it would happen. I mean, all those beautiful years of friendship. I really enjoyed being there for you and you for me. My dad felt you were a bad influence to me but I really cared for you as if you were my sister. I donāt know how things got so raw and uglyā¦
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Just a quick check in
Hello there 2020. The year has just started and it has been a crazy whirlwind. Have been so busy that I havenāt really had the time to sit and just unpack 2019 or even whatās to come in 2020.
Practicum has begun and can I just say how glad I am to be where I am at (which for confidentiality reasons I wonāt mention here). But Iāve only gone down twice and the experience has been nothing butā¦
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20102019
If anything I think over the past years Iāve learnt how to love more, be content and live rather than exist. Happy Birthday, me. May you continue to become better and not jaded no matter what. May you continue to see the best in others, to be the person God created you to be. To fulfill His will, that is enough for me.
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Just unpicking my own brain
I realised that Iāve learned to hate missing people and it only hit me this cycle of Kitās reservist that it has been something I picked up over the past 10 years. I guess I never really dealt with how much I really honestly do miss my mom and somehow displaced all the emotions into my other relationships. So when someone goes away for abit, instead of missing that someone just the right amountā¦
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Because LOVE is a choice
Itās been a little bit more tiring than what my heart can take the past week being back from Hokkaido. The trip was amazing and I am thankful to get a break from the humdrum but as always, things do accumulate when you drop them for abit to go have fun. Thaddy had his first operation and mama has been a worry wart about his recovery. It is tiring to always be putting up a front that Iāve got itā¦
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I love you
Even though I never met you and never willā¦
It is a deep sadness that is hard to understand, hard to put to words.
Goodbye baby. We will meet in heaven.
Tonight the grieve hit especially hard.
Iām sorry baby, mama didnāt do a good enough job to protect you. Iām sorry you will never get the chance to see this beautiful world. Please know mama loves you regardless and you will always have a specialā¦
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9%
Only time will tell.
Fingers crossed.
Whatever the outcome, I will choose to be thankful.
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I.D be glad when it's done.
I.D be glad when itās done.
Met our first shortlisted ID today. I cannot emphasize how excited I am to finally have a place of my own. I have so many ideas with what to do with the place I only wished it was bigger! Oh well but this is sg and Kit and I promised each other that we would always make it a point to live within our means so a 4 room it is. Besides, I really canāt complain since our location is a pretty solid oneā¦
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