4-7-2017
Somewhere in this madness we call life, I've lost all sense of feelings. Not that I cannot feel , more like the feelings I do feel , feel foggy , watered down. Almost like I cannot quite reach them. It's like I've been living in this haze. Where nothing actually feels real at all. I'm in a constant state of waiting. Although I'm not entirely sure what I'm waiting for? What does it all mean? I blame it on the needle I stick into my leg weekly, but I truly don't know? I love being alone , free to do as I wish. Yet long for the company of others. Maybe I'm in a place I just need to be? Forever it is not. I barely feel alive most days , in fact most days I almost feel like I do not exist at all. I stay here safe away in my cave. Where no one can hurt me, only I can hurt myself. Which I do so well. This rant is over. Wine as my witness I swear one day I will feel again.














