Evan

My story

[evankeehan]

4-7-2017

Somewhere in this madness we call life, I've lost all sense of feelings. Not that I cannot feel , more like the feelings I do feel , feel foggy , watered down. Almost like I cannot quite reach them. It's like I've been living in this haze. Where nothing actually feels real at all. I'm in a constant state of waiting. Although I'm not entirely sure what I'm waiting for? What does it all mean? I blame it on the needle I stick into my leg weekly, but I truly don't know? I love being alone , free to do as I wish. Yet long for the company of others. Maybe I'm in a place I just need to be? Forever it is not. I barely feel alive most days , in fact most days I almost feel like I do not exist at all. I stay here safe away in my cave. Where no one can hurt me, only I can hurt myself. Which I do so well. This rant is over. Wine as my witness I swear one day I will feel again.

[evankeehan]

Words cannot even begin to describe how this woman makes me feel. She is , my love , my queen , my everything. #iloveher #myqueen #mylove #twinflame #homeiswithyou

[evankeehan]

"I love you, he thought, looking at Win. I love every part of you, every thought and word...the entire complex, fascinating bundle of all the things you are. I want you with ten different kinds of need at once. I love all the seasons of you, the way you are now, the thought of how much more beautiful you'll be in the decades to come. I love you for being the answer to every question my heart could ask. And it seemed so easy, once he capitulated. It seemed natural and right. Kev wasn't certain if he was surrendering to Win or to his own passion for her. Only that there was no more holding back. He would take her. And he would give her everything he had, every part of his soul, even the broken pieces." #longing #love #iloveher #ftm #quotes #feels #5daystogo

[evankeehan]

I've been trying to get my Adonis belt muscle to pop for a very long time and after weeks of weighted hanging leg raises, and 1 year 9 months on t, it's finally starting to happen. It's crazy how much my body is still changing from t. I love it! #transmenofig #transman #ftmmagazine #ftmfitness #transandshirtless #transandinked #ftm #ftmmuscle

[evankeehan]

Photographer @morgin_riley "And I'd rather die on the day that I give you a kiss than spend the rest of my life knowing I never did. So just hold me and tell me that I'm everything you need. Tell me that that lonely little heart of yours that I've been dying for ain't out of reach. So if you're looking for some proof that there's a heart inside of me then lace your fingers between mine and you will see it start to leak. And I know you're not a crutch but I can hold you when I stand 'cause I am living for your touch but I would die to be your man. Let me look into your eyes like I am searching for your soul. Wrap my arms around your waist like it is dying from the cold Run my fingers through your hair like they are water from the drain. Press my lips against your back like they could take away its pain. And to give you everything there is nothing I won't do. Dump my heart into a blender just to pour it out to you. And I know you're feeling tired just let me hold you for a bit. Dive my face between your thighs until I cannot feel my lips, oh I know that you think I'm kind of odd, But if your love is a mountain I swear that I'd climb to the top. I would tell you you're lovely and everything I'll ever need. And I would give you my all if you'd just come and stand next to me." #transman #ftm #longing #lyrics #feels #leatherjacket #photoshoot #transmenofig #yearning

[evankeehan]

Bad ass wolf tattoo by @tattooshad Started my chest piece. Wolf part done. I'm so fucken happy with how this turned out! Next session in December! #ftm #wolftattoo #wolf #transandinked #transandshirtless #wolfpack #inked #inkedmen #tattoo #chesttattoo #tatted #transman

[evankeehan]

Photographer @morgin_riley This graveyard is one of my favorite places to go. So peaceful. #graveyard #alonewithmythoughts #ftmmodel #fall #ftm #happyplace

[evankeehan]

Photographer @morgin_riley "All our times have come Here but now they're gone Seasons don't fear the reaper Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain, we can be like they are Come on baby, don't fear the reaper Baby take my hand, don't fear the reaper We'll be able to fly, don't fear the reaper Baby I'm your man," #ftm #fall #transman #photography #dontfearthereaper #graveyard #alonewithmythoughts #ftmmagazine #ftmmodel

[evankeehan]

Photographer @morgin_riley "From lashes to ashes And from lust to dust In your sweetest torment I'm lost And no heaven can help us Ready, willing and able To lose it all" #ftm #graveyard #deepthoughts #ftmmagazine #photography #himlyrics #transman #fall #heartacheeverymoment

[evankeehan]

Photographer @morgin_riley "With your feet in the air and your head on the ground Try this trick and spin it, yeah Your head will collapse But there's nothing in it And you'll ask yourself Where is my mind Where is my mind Where is my mind Way out in the water See it swimmin'"😉 #photoshoots #transman #photography #deepthoughts #graveyard #whereismind #ftm #ftmmagazine

[evankeehan]

Photographer @morgin_riley " whisperer in my ears all your fears , secrets, worries and the memories that make that make your heart tremble. I'll protect them. Love them. Adore them. I'll set your heart free." #ftmmodel #ftm #thougts #graveyard #onmymind #transman #photography #photoshoots #fall #deepthoughts

[evankeehan]

Photographer @morgin_riley "Someday someone won't be afraid of how much you love. They won't stay on the shore; they'll meet you in the depths." #transman #supermoon #transmenofig #fall #thougts #wishfulthinking #ftm #ftmmodel

[evankeehan]

Photographer @morgin_riley love that you can see the super moon . #ftm #nature #november #fall #transmenofig #supermoon #flannel #transman

[evankeehan]

Photographer @morgin_riley #transmenofig #fall #november #ftm#nature

[evankeehan]

Lost in my thoughts. Straight out of camera. Photographer @morgin_riley #ftm#graveyard #cemetery #deepthoughts #beard #beardsofinstagram #thinkingaboutyou #loveanddeath #transman #ftmbeard #wiphotographer #ftmmodel #transmenofig

[evankeehan]

Straight out of camera Teaser 3 Photographer @morgin_riley #blackleatherjacket #transman #ftmmagazine #ftmmodel #ftm #transmenofinstagram #transmenofig #streets#beard #beardsofinstagram #wiphotographer

[evankeehan]

Straight out of camera Teaser 2 Photographer @morgin_riley #transmenofig #transmenofinstagram #ftmmodel #wiphotographer #photography #ftm #ftmmodel #ftmmagazine #transman #blackleatherjacket