➫

Concept: me, sitting on my living room floor. I’m wearing satin sleepwear (matching separates, of course). Draped around my shoulders is a 7.5 foot python. We’re watching The Santa Clarita Diet together.

[evanthes]

I was like letting someone out of the unit I work on and they wished me luck w the rest of my shift like “well break a leg I guess” and mind you, I just got back from medical leave for a broken leg

[evanthes]

Halsey Boston night 2

Halsey: my first ever Boston show must’ve been the one I did at The Middle East, right?

me, in the mezzanine: uhm actually The Middle East is in Cambr- *sniper gets me between the eyes from their post in the ceiling*

[girlnumbers]

hi can we play staring and breathing together

[doggiewoggiez]

has anyone ever tried putting raw eggs in the detergent slot on the washing machine and olive oil in the fabric softener slot to make clothes mayonnaise

[sinnnnndiesel]

Sure, boss, I’d still be ya henchman if you was a woim

[cannibalchicken]

[evanthes]

I started meds and somehow I can draw now so i've been really into stippling. HOWEVER. I keep drawing wallace and gromit characters scary style by accident

[memorycycle]

hush little baby dont you cry. mamas gonna buy you a big horse fly. and if that big horse fly dont fly. mamas gonna buy you another horse fly

[memorycycle]

[club mix] another horse fly. another horse fly

[lakevida]

takes off my headphones Huh? sorry i couldnt hear you i was listening to the popeye soundtrack, its in my soppy mix

[c3rvida3]

I couldn't pee at the doctor's office today so they sent me home with a cup to pee in and bring back. Do you think it would be funny to bring them my urine sample in a Happy Birthday gift bag with, like, tissue paper in it and everything, or would they think I was really, really crazy if I did that?

[evanthes]

new weed experience: I am high and watching tiktoks and in my brain I am watching every single one as if the purveyor is running a booth at the farmers market and is telling me a story

[evanthes]

truly incredible how many of my favourite posts that are burned into my memory are grinch related. that tweet abt the grink? oh THIS is the gunch? Just saw one that said “in line to see the gringe” that’s in my vocab for a year minimum

[evanthes]

gender often includes things like taking a cold sip of water and swishing it around in your mouth while feeling the thin mucus layer separate from your cheeks and tongue

[evanthes]

I have been so downtrodden from many years of The Discourses that I see a new one and my only emotion is that I’m surprised anything surprises me anymore

[shittycryptids]

A tiger with no mouth. It just absorbs its prey like an amoeba

[poisonseller]

my parents sold me to oingo boingo... one direction didn’t want me

[poisonseller]

i shred on the trumpet. they needed me.

[amazoogle]

aagh im so pissed. my fucking parents sold my baby shoes befroe i even got a chance to wear them