Re: Elf on the Shelf Reporting Requirements
To: Santa
I am not sure what I am supposed to be reporting on here. Subject is a child, doing things all children do. Parameters of your naughty list are vague. Please advise which of the following possible actions deserve a “naughty list” designation:
Subject blew nose multiple times in tissue and threw tissues on floor where they remained until parent picked them up.
Subject asked for grilled cheese, then refused to eat grilled cheese.
Subject keeps singing theme to 1-877-Kars-4-Kids
Subject did not wash hands after using the potty, was called on it, then went back and ran water to pretend they had washed hands.
Do these rise to “naughty” level?
Frankly, the Elf on a Shelf mission is problematic. My trade is toy-building, not spy-craft. I am uncomfortable with this surveillance and question its necessity. Is my reporting merely advisory? Don’t you already know who’s been naughty and who nice?
Respectfully, I submit that myself and other Elves on Shelves be re-deployed to the North Pole Toy Facility. The demands and deadlines of Christmas were already straining our toy workforce before so many of us were assigned to spy on children.
- EOS1456
