imagine you start dating this girl and things get serious and then she gets sick. she was always sick, but she was ok when u started dating but then it got bad again. and u love her so u spend all of ur time and energy to help her in anyway u can. u come to her when she needs help. u drive her to her hometown over an hour away so she can see her parents. u spend an entire night in a hospital and even help her pee in a cup for a test even though you have ptsd about medical facilities and you wanna peel ur skin off the whole time. but she wants u to be there so u do it anyway. and then u do all of that ad nauseam for 4 months. and then u get depressed. really really depressed. and it sucks but at least ur not alone, right? at least she is mostly better now and can take care of u like u did for her, right? wrong. imagine instead she treats u like a burden. she doesn't care about how u feel, only about how u make her look or how ur demeanor affects her mood. so she starts to get frustrated that ur not happy and bubbly like she is and she takes it out on u. she gets mad and yells at u for having a panic attack. u tell her how that felt and instead of apologizing she told u that she doesnt know who u are anymore. she says she is scared that u are not who she thought u were. and u apologize. suddenly this is about her. ur feelings dont matter. only how they made her feel and how they make her look. she doesnt want u to meet her friends like this. she doesnt want them to know shes dating someone like u. u think its ur fault. so u try harder. u decide that maybe u can just push ur feelings down and pretend like they aren't there. after all, if u dont act like that, maybe she wont be mean to u anymore, and maybe u will get better. so u do just that, and it doesn't work. u can hide it sometimes, but then because of that, it gets worse. she notices. she tells u that she can hardly stand to be around u, and that she doesnt want to hang out with u most of the time because ur depression drains her. she tells u that her friends make her happier than u do. she tells u that her friends ask if u can hang out with them, but she doesnt ask u, and says no anyway, because she doesnt want them to see u like that. while u try to explain ur feelings she gets her phone out and tries to get an uber, "because theres nothing else to say," even though u hadn't said anything. suddenly this is about her. the next day when u try and tell her how worthless all of that made u feel, she denies saying any of it. she makes u feel like ur either crazy or a liar. and then u put up with another 2 months of that, because everyone has rough patches, I mean hey ur having one right now, maybe she is too. maybe it will get better. but it doesnt. she gets sick again and asks u to come over and help her fall asleep. u accept, because no matter how badly she treats u, u would want the same. even though its snowing and there is 8 inches of snow on the road, u drive to her house because u only want the best for her. as shes falling asleep, ur phone dies, so u decide to use her phone. she wouldn't mind. but then u see a flirty text.
u open up her phone and find out she is cheating on u. the girl u drove through a blizzard to hold her hand while she fell asleep just shattered ur trust and spirit and cheated on u. after all u did to help her and make her believe she could be everything she wanted to be, despite how much she spat in ur face, she cheated on u. after all she put u through, and how much deeper into that hole she sent u, and how little she cared about helping, she cheated on u. and not only did she cheat on u, she degraded u to other people for money. she threw u under the bus and crushed ur trust and ur ego for $30. u leave her room and drive home and cry until she wakes up at 9 am, and u confront her about it. u break up with her, and despite the hell she put u through, she makes it seem like its ur fault. u tell her u are sorry. and that u loved her and will always miss her. she tries to get u to stay by saying shes cutting herself. she then says that no, u won't actually miss her, because she can't remember the last time u said she was beautiful. suddenly this is about her.
snowghoul
pixelskylines
dailybridgerton
