(Untitled) @eveisnep - Tumblr Blog

I have half the mind to check on d. but also what's the use if there's a post. what if she changed her bio. what would i do? I have work to do , businesss to build, adn. idk. just right now there's no space for a relationship. .... even if I wanted her and if she wanted me. is it even okay? lol. we're older now and we have idfferent lives than when we met. I need to keep moving forward.

one day. that day is not today.

ngl sometimes I think london checks on my profile somehow but often times I think. well it's been done. it doesnt matter if I see her anywhere. I just have to keep enjoying and living my life. :)

I thought about checking on you. but it's been almost a decade now. we're old. you probably have a husband and kids. it's crazy how I can't believe you still check on me. to make a vague post and see the change. I still want to see you. but I also know it's not the best thing . I should just appreciate what ever it was. thank you. for everythign you taught me about love. about how someone could hold such a space and such fire. I've learned to tame that fire. anyawys. thank you. I still have this piece of rock that I found on the beach when we were supposed to meet. you ghosted again that day and I never saw you until you reached out four years later. I was with someone at that time. someone who was in front of me. I didn't know if you were serious. then you finally let me go. at that time I was worried that if I was in your city i'd accidently see you adn i'd drop everything. for that year I avoided that city. even MK stores thinking I might see you because you managed a few stores. I also had the thought of going to them and say hey. does so and so work here? or if you have any info? I have a gift for her. can you jsut let her know this kid was real about his love for her? that's all. she doesn't even need to know the name just know that there's someone who supports her no matter what and still has love for her. anyways let me leave this as is.

lovergrlnextdoor

get to know my heart atleast damn

What if it was Milpitas instead of SJ? what if it was her messaging you all this time? what if it was both? I guess at the end of the day. it doesn't matter because it was on anon. so what of it? also. I've taken off the space for searching me. it's more so SJ that would be looking at me and being on anon. anywhooo. keep on moving forward. you have a lot of work to do mate.

babbyygirrrl

The scariest version of me is not angry, it’s silent. Just done explaining, done caring, done trying. When I go quiet it means something inside me finally gave up.

I mean from all my walks fo life. art, tech, community, internet things. like this wouldn't have happened if I didn't make a tumblr account. like these oppotunities are because I made friends online.

Building an investment firm in my city. this is going to be a wild ride. This all started because I made a tumblr account. this. is wild.

9ris9ris

I'm learning to move on from you. You were integral of what I learned of what love can be.

Learning languages 10/23/19 12:13 AM

Russian: ya tebya lyublyu I love you mozhet, zaydom v kafe, pop'yom kofe Come by to a cafe to have some some coffee иметь хороший have a good one

Привет как дела hello how are you

ponimaesh po russky Do you understand russian? понимаешь по русскиbeautfiful Krasivaya красивая

What are you cooking chto ty gotovish' что ты готовишь

have a good day хорошего дня horoshego dnya goodnight yo Спокойной ночи Spokoynoy nochiwhat are you doing today Что ты сегодня делаешь Chto ty segodnya delayesh'

приятно познакомиться priyatno poznakomit'sya nice to meet youдоброе утро dobroe ytro good morningдоброй ночи dobroy nochi goodnightХорошо harsaho good я на работе ya na rabote

Ьсе отлично all good

Romanian: ce mai faci how are you bine good Sunt Bun I am good tu ce faci What are you doing eu sant bine I'm fine sunt la munca I'm at work da yes ai ajuns acasă în siguranță siguranță did you get home safe am ajuns acasa in siguranta I came home safe te pup kiss you te pup mult, iar si iar, kiss you many times ciocolata chocolate obosite i'm tired vai oh my mitica- mythical să aveţi o zi bună Have a good day noapte bună Have a good night

neatza morninHindi: bssss enough Me Mean I hum also mean I hanji yes main kailiphorniya se hoon I'm in california dimag mat hata dude don't kill my vibe shukriya thank you aap sab ka hi everyone swagat h aap ka welcome namastaey hello aap kaise ho how are you Main pagal hu I am mad main khush hu I am happy Main thik hoo i am good Ache means good behan sister bhai brother Khush Raho = be happy Aap sab ka sawagat hai Welcome everyone Bolo Speak wo ai ni she's not comming Vadiya Awesome Dinner ho gya have you finished your dinner Bade hasmuk ho dhanyavad thank you m acha hoon i'm doing good mujhe thoda thoda hindi ata hai I know little hindi khana kha lia? have you had your meal Haan kha lia yes i had my meal subha ka nastha have you had breakfast subha morning dopahar afternoon raat night raat ka khana did you have dinner dopahr ka khana did you have lunch khana food may hindi seekh rha hoon I am learning hindi pagli (mad jokingly to friends) aap aaj kya kar rahe hain what are you doing today aapaka svaagat hai you're welcome ma lhr sy ho kya ho rha ha Kuch b nhe kr rhijnu main abhee bhee hindee seekh raha hoon i'm still learning hindi kshama karen, main achchha hindee nahin bol sakata sorry i can't speak good hindi jaldi jaldi sikh lo hindi Learn quick Hindi main jaldee seekh jaoonga I will learn quickly allah hafiz phir milenge Allah will meet again Phir milenge see you m chill marna hoon am relaxing kya kr rhe ho what are you doing may bhi chill mar rhi hoon I am also relaxing may me sahi that'scool aap kaam ke lie kya karate hain what do you do for work Aaj shopping jaungi today will go shopping M (may) security services m Hoon kaun hay yo satuavachan true (Sanskrit) dhyan rakhna take care dhyan rakho take care badiya fine ek do teen chaar panch chey saat aath nau das 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Aap kaise Hai? means how are you? kya kar rahe? means what are you doing? aasheervaad blessings main aapakee saraahana karata hoon I appreciate you me tumko pyar krti hu I love you (girl says) mai tumko pyar karta hu I love you (guy says this) mai (meh) thumse pyar kar tha hu I love you (guys says this) me tumko bhot yad karti hu I miss you very much Urdu: Shukria thank you bhai ekdum bhadiya aap sunao I;m good bro how are you.

Lithuanian: Labas Hello

Arabic ma el salama goodbye merhaba hello kifak how are you walikum salam peace be with you bhai aap kaha se ho brother where are you from hala biki welcome here yeslamo thank you marhabaan bieawdatik welcome back 'ahbak I love you shukraan liziaratik thank you for visiting ji ok shokran thank you ana bekair I'm good tasharafat bimuqabalatik nice to meet you etan be nafsek take care German: how are you Wie geht es dir

Indonesian (bahasa)

kita suda lama tidak berbincang Long time no see nyanyii lagi mi I'll be back Mempunyai aliran yang bagus Have a good stream terimah kasih thank you apa kabar kamu how are you piye kabare how are you baik fine sama sama your welcome saya rindu kamu i miss you pergi sana go away Teri ma kasih thank you aku cinta kamu I love you kabar baik i'm fine bahasa Salken (slang) or Salam kenal nice to meet you asli orang mana where are you from WKKWKWKW laughing jam berapa disana van What time is it there kuch nehi nothing aha yes iya yes ye meri behan h fir milte h see ya later Aap se milkar khushi hui- happy to meet you abhi nhi kuch der baad not now after some time boa tarde salam kenal semua is nice to meet you senang ketemu anda nice to meet you saaya chinta anda I love you saya dari california I'm from california q semarang (a place jawa tengah (central tenga and jawa is java) gw sini I am here yuk lets go mau want ka (am) malam (pm) sore afternoon jam at jam # ka at # am hukuman punishment ada there is telat late bantu help siapa mau who wants ntar gw I'll do it later mereka they jg also ulang reset it dia ga tau he doesn't know dia he ga tau Do not know udah ah i'm done capek gw i'm tired sabar patient ih tunggu dong I am waiting tunggu wait dong please syedihn sadness urus take care cepet quickly/fast makasi banyak yak kaak Thanks many people siap ready Juga too saya lagi santai saja I'm just relaxing apakah kamu sudah minum air did you drink water yet

rindu miss

aku pergi ke sekolah I go to school

datang ke indonesia come to indonesia

sangat indah exquisite

semoga harimu menyenangkan have a wonderful day

aku pergi ke sekolah I go to school

siapa namamu what is your name

selamat tinggal bye Saya belajar sedikit I'm learning a little bit Apakah kamu semua sudah makan? did you all eat yet have not eaten blum makan go eat everyone makan dulu semua orang Terima kasih banyak thank you very much mengikuti follow madha tafeal min ajl almutiea what do you do for funpapay bye byenya bagus it's goodsaya juga baik i too am finesaya lepar i'm hungryhari ini aku ga melakukan apapun today i did nothingaku diberkati denganmu I'm blessed with you salam kenal kembali nice to meet you alsojangan khawatir don't worry Saya menghargai anda I appreciate youbelum not yetsudah dong (kind of like yeah I already did)dong (honorific) apakah kamu masih di tempat tidur? are you still in bedlagi kerja Fun facts about Indonesia: Indonesia has 3 java; East, Central, West

filipino tagolog? kamusta ka how are you mabuti i'm well gwapong lalaki handome guy pagbati hello kamusta walang anuman Your welcome ayos lang po im fine also taga saan po kayo where are you from. bago lang po ako in tagalog salamat thank you maramind slamat po thank you pwedeng makipag kabigan can we be friends. teka lang, babalik po ako wait be right back walang anuman po welcome po llan taon napo kayo? how old are you? mabuhay salutations paano mag bigay ng regalo how to send gifts paalam po bye tinuruan kopo ng konti i teach him ayos lang po ako,maraming salamat. I'm fine thank you. (If I ever visit the philipines visit

CORON PALAWAN to see vie)

sa an ka nakatela wehre di you live Baliw crazyHawaiian Aloha Hello and goodbye Mahalo Thank you Mahalo nui loa thank you very much a' ole pilikia Your welcome

Chinese Mandarin? hi everyone here 大家好 Dàjiā hǎo

French: bonjour hello ce va how are you

Jamaican Waguan Wassap

Thai Narak Mak so cute khob kun ka nice to meet you sawadee khub hello

Spanish de dnd eres where are you from te gusta la cancion do you like the song?

más sugerencias de canciones more music suggestions?

Turkish kismin bilmiyom ama sanada bana niye el salladi bu hepinizle tanıştığıma memnun oldum Nice to meet you all Günaydın good morning iyi akşamlar good evening nasilsin how are you seni seviyorum i love you bende seni seviyorum I love you too Portugese Boa Noite good night como voce esta how are you

Nepali Namastē hi

sweedish hej(hey) hur Mar du? Hey how are you? jag(yag) mar bra i am good

Pidgeon Melepo Dirty

Hawaiian Aina land Ka ne male wa hi ne woman/girl makao mountain makai ocean side

tamil maalai vannakkam good morning naanri thank you ungalai nenaikum pothu perumaiya eruku i'm proud of you

Punjabi: tu fuudu h mai tenu pyar karda h i love you (male) mai tenu pyar kardi h I love you (female)

bssss enough

Haryana: mai tene ghana prem karu I love you (both)

If I had to tell you. Why you matter.....

I don't know you. But you truly matter. Everything matters. Let me rephrase this.

Dear stranger.

I know it's hard at this moment when you feel like nothing matters. No matter what you're doing in your life, no matter the weight you carry. At the end of it. In truth. Nothing matters yet it still does. For if ....

I could tell you that you matter. Yet in reality you don't. The cold hard fact of it is that you don't. What matters is your decision to matter. What matters is that. You matter to those who think you matter. Often times we'll go through all of these chaotic phases of our lives and we can't fathom to think. Hey. Everything right now. i'm just baggage and that if I was gone. It wouldn't matter. The truth is. A century from now would we really? Or would we matter only if we do something? I guess what i'm trying to say is. Everyone doesn't matter until they make theme selves matter. If you keep on belittling yourself. If you keep telling yourself over and over. This lie that you don't matter becomes truth. Also if you lie to yourself that you matter, that too in turn becomes true.

Okay maybe that's a little harsh. Well it would depend on if the person really needed to hear this side.

You matter. The reason why you matter is that for a person to even think about you. You may not think it but as I write this. I'm a stranger and I have never met you. I always think about the people who become a statistic. A statistic that matters because it shouldn't even be like that. You matter so much and I wish I could tell you how much it hurts me that you don't believe it. I'm holding in my emotions because. Some of us. We've been there. We've felt the struggle and pain of not amounting to anything. To feel like running in front of a car, crashing into another one on the freeway, jumping off the bridge, slitting our wrists, overdosing on pills, pulling the trigger. We've been there. Possible from sexual abuse from a partner and even worse a family member or even stranger. Mental abuse from those around you who barely know you, or who know you so well they degrade you. Everything feels like it's closing in and you can't breathe anymore.

*take a breather right now are you ready?* 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. *breathe in* Nah you did a petty ass little breath in. *BREATH THE FUCKING INHALE IN MOTHERFUCKER* Breathe out.

Right now.

You matter.

As I write to you i'm telling you that you matter enough for me to write in the middle of the night. Unlocking all of my repressed memories, unraveling all the secrets that's told to me, the weight of everyone who's tried, failed, or succeeded in their suicide. You matter and don't let anyone else EVEN YOURSELF. Believe that you don't. Because if you didn't matter. These feelings. These feelings i'm feeling right now. Wouldn't be here. This agony, and frustration, and all the anger in the world. It hurts. It hurts so much because. I have love for you. I have compassion. I have time to tell you and work with you and I wish that I would have talked to you sooner. I know I can't save everyone. BUT FOR SURE DAMN WELL IF I CAN SAVE ANOTHER LIFE. I'll go to hell and back to save you. Even if people would think you're not worth it. I'll do it for one time. I'm telling you that. You matter.

The only thing left now is that.

Are you going to believe that you matter and prove it.

Or.

Are you going to continuously prove to me all the reason that you don't matter?

Whatever effort you're putting in making not just me, but yourself believe. Make sure that it's worth the effort.

Simple phrase.

You may think that you don't matter to anyone. But as you're reading this. I as a complete stranger think that you matter and I don't know you. A person on this planet that has 7.6 billion of us. As I'm writting this down I'd like to believe there are other people in different places of the world writing the same exact thing. Even though we've never met.

5/27/18 3:56 AM

Did I ever send this to you? lol

hahah. I wonder if I ever sent this to you.

I don't want you taking me unfriending on snapchat the wrong way. I didn't think about that part until a homie said it woulda been bad if I was still trying to be friends with ya. I would like that tbh. You were a breath of fresh air in regards to friendship. I figured if you wanted to talk, you have my number. (maybe). I just needed to get back on focusing on myself again. I really do hope all is well on your end. Cause I don't know what happened and I know when I just drop off socializing it's just bad.

I was thinking about calling you when I head to the bay for a cup of coffee and just chill and relax with your company. I derno if I will. You already know how I felt when we were talking. But things fade ya know? I don't know if i'll have the same feelings I had for you when I go to the bay. I just know that I still think about the connection we had. I'm wondering if it was even real or was it just a game I slightly fell for.

Just wanted to let ya know what was up and where i'm coming from. Since when I asked if I was in the bay to hit you up you said yeah. I didn't know if you still wana, or if I would wana.

I’m unfriending you on snapchat and I don’t want you to take it offensively. It’s just .. a homie helped me think clearly and said it wouda been bad if I was still trying to be friends with ya. I mean, I would have liked a friendship with you. Tbh I needed a breath of fresh air and you gave me that. I figured if you wanted to talk, you have my number. (maybe). I was thinking about calling you yday as I was heading to the bay for a cup of coffee. The thought of us just chillin n’relaxing popped into my head. Later towards the night, I didn’t really feel the vibe anymore. I guess things change and fade. You already know how I felt when we were talking but I guess the feelings aren’t mutual. I’m not sure if it was even real or was it just a game, I slightly fell for. I just wanted to be straight blunt with you and not beat around the bush any longer. I’m going to continue to focus on myself again. I really hope for the best on your end. We slowly drifted apart so I’m not sure if you’re alright.

I’ve unfriended you on snapchat and I don’t want you to take it offensively. A homie helped me think clearly and said it wouda been bad if I was still trying to be friends with you. So I wanted to let ya know wassup instead of jumping to conclusions. I mean, I'd still like a friendship with you. Tbh you gave me a breath of fresh air, but no replies only brings back memories of bad vibes. So I needed to get away from it all. I figured if you wanted to talk, you have my number. (well maybe). I'ma be going to the bay soon and I was thinking of calling you that day. Probably grab a cup of coffee or see something you like. Yet I'm not sure what my feelings will be by then. You already know how I felt when we were talking but I guess the feelings aren’t mutual anymore. What ponders my mind now is; if it was even real or was it just a game, I slightly fell for. I just wanted to be straight up and just let you know where i'm at. I’m going to continue to focus on myself again. I really hope for the best on your end. We slowly drifted apart so I’m not sure if you’re alright. 3/3/17 5:02 PM

idk if you look at this account or can. but if you do

Favorite library in the Bay Area? We frequent the San Leandro library because it feels cozy! We didn’t really vibe with Berkeley, Hayward or

One day I'll probably see you in my inbox again and I'll think. huh. and maybe i'll just delete the message because. we've hurt eachother too much. it's been a decade. this all started with a simple. hey :) lol. holy.

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