I’ve been wanting to make posts about working out for a while because I see a lot of weird rhetoric abt it in Forcemasc circles. Here’s some main points from someone who has been working out for years and had previous dysmorphia and ED problems (won’t be mentioned further):
- you do not HAVE to exercise to be a man. That is unrelated. However, it can feel gender affirming to get stronger for some people. I feel a lot of euphoria from it, personally. But if you’re only exercising because you think you’re not man enough if you don’t, that’s not true.
- every body is different. What some people can do, you won’t be able to and vice versa. Some people take to it faster, it’s not a morality or value thing. You are not a worse person or less valuable if you don’t take to exercising as fast as other people you know. When I did pole dancing some people would come to their first class and be much better than be at five months some people had been there a year and couldn’t do things I could. It had nothing to do with me. It has nothing to do with you.
- No movement is inherently better than others. If you find something you like, that’s great. You can just like restorative yoga you don’t have to want a run a marathon or vise versa. (Although restorative yoga would probably feel rly good if you run marathons).
- working out is a lifelong journey, like food, cleanliness, mental health, there’s ups and downs. If you stop for a while, you’re not a failure. You can take it back up whenever you feel like you can. Trying new things and dropping them isn’t failing them, any movement is a success. Rock climbed for three months and then stopped? That’s three months of great movement! Danced for ten years but left because it wasn’t affirming? That’s ten years of movement, you can move to something else and call it a success.
- health is important, and mental health is a part of that. Working out can improve aspects of health, but if you’re using shame and health anxiety to motivate your exercise, that well will run dry. Moving your body because it improves your mood, energy, you enjoy it, you care about yourself, are much better motivators than any hatred will ever be.
- everyone has a different starting point.If you find a video or a workout plan and your body is giving you signs it’s too much to start with (intense ache, more than a bit of pain, struggled breathing (you can’t talk), etc.) tone it back. Getting an injury is not worth the hypothetical gain. There are studies that show that gains are best found between comfort and too much. Pushing to too much is not helpful or better.
- you do not need a gym to get strong, and there are bodyweight exercises for basically every muscle group. There are modifications for them as well. Take some time and make a few plans. You’ll know to increase the reps or difficulty when things that were once hard become easy. This can take weeks. That is normal and you’re doing a good job. There is not a way to really know how quickly you’ll improve, try to focus on the good parts aside from that: improved sleeping, how it kinda feels good to be sore, improved mood.
- I am proud of you for wanting to try. It’s scary. My whole life exercise was something with a hypothetical goal of being more feminine looking, now I am finally getting joy out of exercising for the joy of becoming myself more. I hope you can find whenever kind of movement you can.
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