"One of the hardest things to learn in life is that the heart is a clock too fast not to break. We lurch into loving, only to discover again and again that it takes a long time to know people, to understand people..."—Maria Popova
styofa doing anything
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if i look back, i am lost
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i don't do bad sauce passes

#extradirty
Stranger Things

Janaina Medeiros
Cosimo Galluzzi
wallacepolsom
dirt enthusiast
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

ellievsbear
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
sheepfilms

Kaledo Art
will byers stan first human second

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@everickert
"One of the hardest things to learn in life is that the heart is a clock too fast not to break. We lurch into loving, only to discover again and again that it takes a long time to know people, to understand people..."—Maria Popova
Okay, I know I haven't said much (anything?) on Gaiman/Mieville/Munro, but here's my take as a bookseller who has been a bookseller for goddamned too many years:
For the question of "what do I do when I find out that a work that was transformative to me was written by an abuser?" you have to realize that having loved their work is not a reflection on you– abusers can and very often do make art that speaks to us. They are also exceptionally good at having a charming public face, knowing the right words to say, and knowing how to present themselves to endear themselves to a specific audience. Parasocial relationship or not (and I think there's something interesting to be noted that Gaiman was extremely online and Mieville (afaik) had no social media presence), it's not the fault of the fan that they didn't know that their favorite is an abuser.
That said, if you continue to support their work knowing what we know now, I'm giving you a hard fucking side eye.
Here's the depressing part: you can't know if an author is an abuser based on their works or their public persona. My advice to you as someone with goddamned too many years in books?
Read midlist authors. Stop reading bestselling authors and authors who are the darling of their particular genre. Read authors who likely will not sell their work for adaptations or have celebrity coauthors or are invited to teach a semester of literature at [expensive private college full of kids from Long Island].
Read widely, even within your preferred genre. Not only will you expose yourself to so much brilliance, but if a fav is outed as a gross abuser, it's far less difficult to move on.
As a subset of 2: Try try try to develop more than one favorite. Find authors whose works you will read sight-unseen (as I'm sure many of you did with Gaiman), but have a stable of them. (I, for instance, have five authors I will pick up whatever they write, no questions asked.)
Stop relying on cis/het white authors. Read queer authors. Read books by people of color. Fall in love with those books!
This is, of course, not a surefire way to avoid supporting abusers– there is no way to do that. But expanding your reading will have nothing but positives for you and positives for the authors that you read.
Just got new ink! By Faye Basravi in Vancouver, BC. It ended up being much harder to get this right than I expected.
"Well perhaps you could tell me...while we dance."
701 frames, 542 artists, 3 months, all collaborating on 1 animation. Here is the result.
@neil-gaiman @goodomensonprime
Amazing!
I had a really rich conversation with Jessica Fern and David Cooley about restorative relationship conversations, nonmonogamous paradigm shifts, NRE chasing, polysaturation, "justice jealousy" and the new book Polywise: A Deeper Dive into Navigating Open Relationships.
Every part of my birthday today was completely perfect. 47 looks pretty good so far.
A cat makes an excellent heating pad.
Cats of New Orleans, plus a bonus sparrow because it was so delightful.
I got compliments on my hair and makeup at swing dancing on Friday, so here's a selfie.
The way some towns are about Christmas is the way New Orleans is about Halloween
Stop
When you find a place to dance AND the perfect shade of lipstick
Desire.
i want to be asked to come over and help put my friend’s kids to bed as casually as they might text their spouse and ask them to pick up milk on the way home
i want to stop and pick up milk for another friend because i know their spouse hates the grocery store
i want to buy fruit that i dont like because it’s on special and i know people who do
i want to pass lemons over the fence and to take my neighbours bins out when the forget
i want group chats instead of rideshare apps, calls in the middle of the night because someone’s at the hospital, lonely or hungry or both
i want to do the dishes in other people’s houses, extra servings wrapped in tinfoil and tea towels so it’s still warm when you drop it off, a basket of other people’s mending by my couch
i want to be surrounded by reminders that ‘imposing’ on each other is what we were born to do
Found during fall cleanup, abandoned (apparently)
Which flavor of neurodivergent are you?
You have a thing to do planned on a certain day do you:
A) Plan/do something before and after the thing because if you don’t you’ll be to impatient waiting to go to the thing and then you’ll be sad when its over and you need to distract yourself.
B) Have complete executive function failure and do absolutely NOTHING but what you had planned.
C) You have an entire schedule either physically or in your head that will guarantee you enough time to get everything you want into your day because you allotted for everything including your everyday routines/rituals plus extra time incase something goes wrong
D) You don’t do anything before the thing because you’re afraid of being late even if you have HOURS and you most definitely practiced getting ready and going to the thing to know how long you absolutely NEED or you calculated it somehow
E) All of the above because your brain thinks its funny to watch you suffer because you can’t decide how to prepare and then you just panic and shut down while you think about having to plan something
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