My soul, My heart, My life

Through out my life I have been going through depression. Only a handfull of people know about it and this is a blog where I can express what I actually feel inside. If you wanna talk to me just send me a messge and we can talk.. we don't have to go through this alone anymore.

[sadallthedamntime-blog]

[abnormall]

[extramadness]

[physichotic]

finding the balance between allowing myself to feel my feelings but not letting myself wallow in them is difficult but boy am i trying

[rivka-kopelman]

[just-shower-thoughts]

It’s not allowed to watch porn under the age of 18, but the age of consent in some states is lower than 18. So some people are allowed to have sex, before they’re allowed to watch it.

[alwaysmeek]

I wish people didn’t think silence was awkward, just enjoy it. Not every space has to be filled with words.

[positivemindset21]

[phoenixryder21]

I can never find the right words to tell people what I’m thinking. Telling them I’m tired doesn’t work, but I can’t seem to vocalize that I’m mentally exhausted and sick of existing. Telling them I’m sad doesn’t work either, but I can’t explain that I’m struggling not to kill myself and that the joy in everything in my life is gone and when I wake up to the sun in my eyes, I have to struggle to get myself out of bed because most of me didn’t even want to wake up at all. I can’t tell them I’m numb because what I’m feeling is so much more complex than numb and I don’t have the vocabulary to tell them that I feel like I’m drowning and it terrifies me that I feel nothing as it’s happening, and that my insides want to scream but I can’t even find it in me to shed a tear anymore, that every single aspect of my life feels like it’s shaded in grey because someone sucked out all the colors but I can hardly even remember what colors are because I can no longer remember a time I didn’t feel like this. No, I don’t know how to say that. So I just whisper “I’m fine.”

[kidscanbecruel00]

always the problem

[complex-of-a-princess-deactivat]

[borderlineflower-deactivated202]

everyone keeps telling me that i have to stay alive for them, that killing myself would be selfish because they need me and my departure would cause them great pain.

what about MY pain? what about ME? i’m dying inside, falling apart every single night and shoving back my broken pieces inside my chest every morning, bleeding internally. what about MY pain? why can’t i rest easy? isn’t it selfish for you to ask me to stay knowing how badly i’m hurting?

[wishing-for-deathx]

A lot of times I get this irresistible urge to end my life. The only thing that stops me is getting it wrong.

— someday that’s not going to be enough

[real-demons]

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

[brokenflicker]

"People don't like you when you're sad. People don't like when you're breaking down and asking for help. People don't like it when you cry and say you've had enough. People don't want to be around people that are sad and I guess that's just the nature of people. So if you ever find someone that cares about you enough to stay during the bad times, keep them. They're rare, and a lot of us are searching for these kind of people right now."

— A reminder to appreciate those who stuck by you during your lowest moments.