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I realize my husband's family is from a different culture and I totally respect them and that but that doesn't mean I don't have to repress the urge to fight back every time they do the cheek kiss.

Since the worst thing that happened this thanksgiving was my little sister getting tipsy and yelling that me and my husband are soulmates, I guess it was a pretty good year?

#my family #thanksgiving 2019

My boss, hugging me: aww, motherhood is already hard for you!

No, madam, taking care of your horrible toddlers and 3000 square foot house is hard, motherhood is going fine!

#nanny life #everyman's kid

Who just organized their pantry cause they were nervous about a sonogram, it certainly wasn't me.

What a fun game.

#everyman the dm #d&d #dungeon masters #just wanna have fun

My husband just took me to a local comic shop and bought me a Monster Manual so this might be love??

#everyman the dm #a beautiful nerd #dungeons and dragons #support your local geek store

Husband, fineshes morning prayers, turns to me for a kiss: I love you, Lord.

gentlekirk

uterus culture is forgetting all the weird symptoms that come along with your period every month and wondering why you’re feeling some kind of way until you Realize

everyman-esq

Pregnancy is the same way.

Am i dying? Or have I merely neglected to eat protein in the last ten (10) minutes?

#everyman's kid

Me, a millennial, googling "how much debt is ok" after googling "how much wisdom tooth removal costs": I don't think we can afford teeth anymore.

#how is this allowed #teeth #in this economy?#i think not

If you're wondering how I'm doing, I'm in the middle of designing and knitting the subtlest Star Wars sweater in the land for my husband so he can wear it to church without getting crap from his family.

#everyman knits #a beautiful nerd #knitting

Sister: your house looks like nerdy frakkin Martha Stewart made it I hate you

#my family #a beautiful nerd

It's Thursday.

I have been married for less than two weeks.

My mother in law just offered to make me a baby blanket???

#my family #everyman's wedding

My cat, a manipulative bastard, has been playing my poor husband like a fiddle for the last week and a half.

Weve even had an "I disappear for 2 days so you'll let me sleep on your chair when I get back" how iconic.

Wedding Week Ramen: a recipe

In your housemate's cast iron skillet, sauté the smallest cheapest package of pork the store has (cause your mental & physical health sure needed that break from work but hell if your financial health did) in butter (cause you already moved your baking pantry to his house, dammit), and add garlic, ginger, and spinach.

Boil packaged ramen according to instructions. Ponder your life choices. Go into an anxiety spiral because of your life choices. Is ok, the timer will pull you out of it, these four minutes are all yours.

Add the miso paste that you, by some miracle, haven't packed yet, and the seasoning pack. Don't think about the sodium I SAID DONT THINK ABOUT IT.

Add the noodles and broth to a serving bowl (since you already packed your dinner ware) and garnish with the pork mixture and a crumbled sea weed snack.

Hope you survive the week, if only to enjoy getting your feminist sister-in-law tipsy and unleashing her on your uber-conservative future father-in-law at the rehearsal dinner.

#everyman's wedding #recipes #i have a cold

I just finished my wedding shower.

The planners staged several surprises (I hate surprises), invited 50 people (I hate people), didn't tell anyone where I was registered (I hate unnecessary stuff), and served cheese platters (I'm lactose intolerant).

Dont get me wrong, everyone was being wonderful and loving in their own way, but maybe trying to get to know your introverted guest of honor would be a good idea, people?

#guess who has two thumbs and six lbs of pink salt #this girl #introvert problems #everyman's wedding #yay anxiety

My best friend: you should really elope.

My mom: I'm buying more decorations for the wedding, you know you can always elope, honey!

His mentor: you know, we'd all be very happy if you just decided to elope.

Mom friend: so when are you eloping?

Teen: if you get in the car RIGHT NOW you could be in Vegas by tomorrow just go!

#these coversations have all been in the last week #everyman's wedding #a beautiful nerd #introvert problems

After successfully completing the KonMari method, the only possession I have is tacos.

#everyman watches #tidying up netflix #also #everyman eats #torchystacos

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