I have a bunch of active side blogs, so I'm making this as a more brief entry point for anyone checking out who I am from notifs & doesn't need to see my entire blog intro (it's like 30 paragraphs lol)
this main blog is sfw, but some young or traumatized minds can find it too heavy or triggering from politically charged posts, vents about mental health and other controversial content. I try and tag heavier things to give folks more agency over their feed but I'd still exercise caution if you're only here from a sideblog
blogs:
@persyplayhouse - sfw regressor blog (nsft dni)
@cocoabuttergamma - omegaverse/misceverse lifestyle + therian blog
• This blog is a safe space for all my fellow weirdos and freaks out there. anyone that society loves to hate or shame. addicts, conflicting identities, xenogenders, factitious or malingering disorders, medically unrecognised disorders, mogai, loim, qai, furries, xenogenders, transIDs, "scary" personality or mental disorders, (dark) k1nksters, (dark) proship/profic, paraphiles, radqueers, radfreaks, radeviance, xenosatanist, yanderes, fleur, etc etc etc. come one and come all, no matter what you call yourself. I choose to trust every single one of you that your personal identity is in good faith and exactly what you need.
• Not a space for those who are knowingly causing non-con harm w/ no intention of change. this includes those who ignore RACK or the concept of risk aware informed consent. this includes those in a position of power who knows the other person has different intentions for the relationship than you do & the other person doesn't understand they're different. this includes lashing out at people for not being who/what you need them to be. this does not include those in active recovery - DM if you need help growing/evolving
feel free to click any of the tags at the bottom of this post to learn more about me or check the vibe of the core facets of this blog
the thing is, if your younger self was a bigot or an abuser, u can't make people forgive you. but you still gotta forgive yourself, like that's non-negotiable, dude. that happens before u can even ask the question of earning forgiveness from anyone lese
oops, in your attempt to martyr yourself out of respect for your victims you accidentally sabotaged your own ability to conceptualize yourself as anything but a perpetual evildoer who is always one bad day away from hurting everyone you love, all but guaranteeing history to repeat itself. rookie mistake
im gonna try explaining myself, cus im a gambling addict and im waiting for the day that it actually works.
"forgiveness" is personal, that's why I said in the post that you might inflict harm on people for which they can never forgive you, but that's their quest. if you abuse someone, you can't go no-contact with yourself. you actually keep living in your own head indefinitely, and ultimately you need to learn to live with yourself in order to continue living a full life without further harm. this is not necessarily an anti-carceral thought, although i am generally anti-carceral myself. I simply want people to like, fix their heart and atone for real with measured accountability & self love instead of dissociating, self-marking themselves forever and guaranteeing their recidivism.
You and a remorseful abuser would both think I'm giving the easy, coddling path. It's actually the tough pragmatic path in disguise.
The kinds of people who argue once you abuse somebody you can never, ever change and grow past it and stop being abusive are almost 100% of the time people who will contort themselves into intricate knots in an effort to justify any and all harm they cause to anyone else in order to make sure they never have to come to terms with the fact that they're equally capable of being abusive to others (and in a not insignificant number of instances I've seen people who do this be abusers themselves but they've convinced themselves their victims deserved it so they're still morally pure).
My brother randomly told me something that really made me think.
About what "Protect the youth" has become. Idk what it was like in other countries and I know that it very likely could have been stricter than it was in my country back then. But generally:
He was like "When I was 16, there were two kinds of adult content: Horror movies and explicitly depicted sexual content. The first made me have nightmares, the latter (as in what you could get in video rental stores) generally wasn't of much interest to me because it wasn't something I, as a 16 year old, could relate to. And other sexual content that was interesting (and/or helpful) WAS freely accessible. So whenever I saw an "18+" label somewhere, I just completely ignored that content because I knew it wouldn't be interesting at all to me.
But NOW, what's declared 18+ is even an excessive amount of swear words in streams! NOW, when I see an "18+" label, I don't know if it's horror movies that'll give some 16 year olds nightmares, if it's completely unrelatable porn, OR if it's educational sex ed, a 20 year old talking about their really healthy relationship with their partner (that includes intimacy), education about consent in BDSM (which affects 16 year olds as well, there's no age limit to curiosity), a live stream of wholesome musicians who happen to drink a couple of beers during kind of therapeutic talks, or simply people who aren't puritans and say "fuck" a lot! An 18+ label isn't worth anything anymore!"
And yeah... That's just it.
People who talk about body changes during their (first!) puberty are even labelled adult content. Even though puberty very much happens BEFORE adulthood. It's helpful content for minors. And it's labelled "adult" to "protect the youth".
ageplay is basically pedophilia because it still "tarnishes" the image of children, nevermind that no children are involved in the act. we have to treat porn of cartoon children as exactly as serious as CSAM because it ruins the image of children, nevermind that it's impossible to materially harm a cartoon. you can protect 0 children in the name of protecting children and all you're doing is preserving the aesthetic quality of childhood innocence. you can safely target things that do not involve real children cause they're still an aesthetic defilement of childhood innocence and people view that as just as bad if not worse than actual real material harm done to children.
One of my favourite moments from the latter part of the show, and also a great example of Clancy Brown's voice acting.
Context: In a despite between two supervillain organisations, the representative of the younger group, Blind Rage, makes the mistake of being rude to one of the older, more established villains from the other organisation. Thus, Red Death decides to teach Blind Rage a lesson in their profession's history...
SPREADING POSITIVITY TO AS MANY RADQUEER BLOGS AS POSSIBLE (due to the whole i-reblog-retards situation, i want to go around and offer some love!)
You are beautiful and you are loved!! No matter your age, race, species, attractions, or stances, you are amazing! Please keep being you!Keep being rad and make sure to be nice to yourself! Go drink some water and eat a healthy snack /nf! Don’t let antis bring you down <3
I don't know how to express to you why a world with destigmatized public sexuality would free everyone and reduce harm
I can't even begin to express to you how the opposite. How being told your sexuality is inherently harmful and evil and destructive to exist kills a person
I felt too anxious to hold my partner's hand in public for long until I was in my mid 20s
Only this year in my mid 30s was I able to kiss a partner in public with more joy than fear
The only sex I experienced was secretive so I had no way of verifying if my experiences were normal and good or if they were bad. or even how to only have the experiences I wanted to have!
If people are free to exist in all their sexuality in public. then people are free to protect their boundaries in public. because that's part of it to. sex and consent are the same conversation, and pretending that advocating for sex is advocating for harm says more about your personal relationship with sex than anything else
not a post on my main blog getting reblogged by a popular blogger who then responded with a good meme. I hardly ever get anything but likes on my personal posts there and that's how I like it. oh gods the notes are starting to go up 😵💫
this adderall is fucking me up. my appetite is so gone I have to fight to get food down
I don't count calories anymore. but I can tell I'm under 750 daily by just the way my body is responding. this shakiness is intense and yet the food craving is so minimal. if I'd gotten my hands in this shit at the depths of my ed I'd have hit my ugw no problem
alas. I like being fat now. well I'm not actually fat, I'm still straight sized even if the medical chart says some bullshit. but like, damn I love having the energy I need, having my brain. just fueling my body and being able to get stronger feels so so good
and yet...... and yet I've been given the keys to my lw. so of course the ed brain that never dies has awoken to try and convince me to go for it
but ngl I look so much hotter with curves on me. not having an ass was a disservice to the world (no fr. I was voted best ass at my lgbt youth group lol). my fits have leveled up sooooo much now that I'm not being lazy and treating thinness as fashion
