what do you think is the worst columbo episode?
i know a lot of people will say undercover or no time to die. these are valid answers. however, i am disqualifying them in this evaluation as they deviate so much from the format that i barely consider them columbos to begin with, and i still don't even consider them the worst episodes ever made. they at the very least tried, and actually have enough good work and entertainment value in them that they're (almost) salvageable.
no time to die at least looks cool
i know a lot of people will say last salute to the commodore. they are flagrantly incorrect. last salute is hilarious and better than you. if you disagree, watch it again until you don't. i'll wait.
candidate for best episode, actually
for the original series, it's actually tricky to peg an objective Worst Episode. some are weaker or more dull than others, sure, and as you get later into the run you will find conspicuous and consistent dips in quality. but virtually all the original episodes are solid tv with some flash of brilliance to them, e.g., if the plot is weak it's accounted for with some other reason to watch. hell, my least favorite episode varies depending on mood and mindset.
the real dog's dinners lie in the reboot columbo episodes. for me, it's particularly hard to stomach a trace of murder and murder in malibu.
trace of murder is a fucking car accident of a columbo if i ever saw one. it's more frustrating than anything because there are some good moments, and the plot itself seems very promising, but it's utterly fumbled with poor writing and acting. the runtime, padded to bastard death, has columbo spending the final like 20 minutes painfully explaining the gotcha in a bizarre dora the explorer-like fugue state for no good reason other than assuming the audience collectively received head trauma from watching. which is entirely possible.
thanks, lieutenant, i figured as much. i'm the map, also
but murder in malibu, again aside from a few decent moments and an attempt at cleverness, is literally just if columbo were a soap opera. no, sorry--it's as if columbo starred and was directed by great value david hasselhoff. 90s columbo in general had some slipshod acting jobs, but this is flat-out an episode of baywatch. worse, actually, because nobody's even jiggling their boobs in it. the budget is visibly and mortifyingly shoestring. it's incredibly sloppy in every way. columbo says Panties! a million times.
they tried to end it like 30 minutes into the episode to spare us. unfortunately we were forced to endure
if you're gonna have columbo paw at lingerie for ten whole minutes you'd better make damn sure that it's his
now, i don't think a columbo gotcha is necessarily beholden to lofty standards of hitherto-unseen genius. i believe in the power of simple, clever clues. i think they can be just as poetic as the big boys. but come on. Da Underwear Was Wrong after that poor an outing is so juvenile, so middling, so acrid, that it's sad to watch. this is the man who finessed a calculating arab diplomat into confessing, intercepted an IRA arms shipment amid a murder investigation, and arrested johnny cash. and now he's clumsily fondling the victoria's secret mannequin to cheesy clarinet music.
look how they massacred my boy.
i think that's really why, of all the cheesy 90s columbos, i can't stand murder in malibu. it's worse than just bad--bad, i can handle; bad, i can sometimes even respect--it's sad. it evokes pity. it's a harrowing reminder of just how far columbo could fall. and that's why i simply pretend it was never made.
stormborns
areudirty
izzy806
