Say What You Want to Say

The meandering thoughts of a gay Russian oddball. Sure I'm crazy, but what does that make you?

[sprachtraeume]

Why does being in your early 20s feel so much like only having 5 years of your life left in which you need to achieve as much as possible? why do I feel like I have an approaching deadline for success?

[nymphaea--colorata-deactivated2]

[badsciencejokes]

…I almost killed myself

I put on my sunglasses, to hide my swollen eyes, over my tears. I cried all my makeup off. Went inside to have a milkshake. I don’t know why. I wanted something to drink as I figured out what I would do. I got a soda and a milkshake. Medium. The cashier looked at me and with a line around the corner of the counter he rushed away from the counter “Hold on “ he yelled to a coworker.

I filled my soda and went back and saw him looking all over. I go up and he gets close and says “I made it a large”.

That was seriously enough for me not to do it. His kindness. Someone went out of their way and as I went back in my car to cry I realized I could muster through a few other days. A few more weeks. Then I came down from that panicky high of anxiety, depression, and pain. I finished my shake. And it was enough time to let me feel better. I… I’m alive. I’ll make it through.

Try and be nice today. Tomorrow. Something as much as a smile. It helped so much.

Thank you man at McDonalds.

The milkshake saved my life

[badsciencejokes]

This moved a lot faster than I figured.

I guess that’s good.. if people can realize the smallest things can touch someone—-maybe we will all be happier.

[tosety]

To everyone reading this; you may never know how much a little bit of kindness will help someone or how badly an uncaring word or action may hurt them. Their life may well be in your hands, so please, please, spread joy and compassion wherever you can. There are many, many people out in the world and here on Tumblr who are desperate to know that even one person sees them as a human and cares about them.

And thank you, @badsciencejokes for being brave enough to share this. We all need to be reminded of how big the little things can be. I really hope that man at McDonalds sees this and knows how much he helped and I wish for you to find what you need to conquer depression because I know firsthand how horrible it can be and how badly it messes with you.

[heyskys]

ugh

[painstation-deactivated20181026]

[everythingishorosho]

Need me a portable one of these for everywhere I go

[wistful-thinkingg]

For those considering relapse

Don’t do it, seriously.

Not just because it could ruin your body and kill you

Not just because it can worse depression, anxiety, etc

Not just because you’ll lose friends, hair, and happiness

Not just because it’s not as great as you remembered it (believe me, I know)

Not just because it’ll be harder to stand back up again

Not just because it will hurt those who love you

But for all of these things. Stay strong today, and every day.

[everythingishorosho]

Reminder

[depressionarmy]

A day in the life.

[lu-recovers-deactivated20181006]

the most important lesson of recovery.

[c-a-k-e-deactivated20170914]

[leaflicker]

I Died In 2010 and Was Replaced By Someone With Absolutely No Motivation and Complete Emotional Unavailability, a conspiracy thread

[bob-belcher]

[lotuslungs]

Keep fighting for the day when all of this won’t be so hard.

I tell myself this everyday (via lotuslungs)

[sheisrecovering]

I am not defined by my relapses, but by my decision to remain in recovery despite them.

[lykoian]

me: I’ve taken some time to think and work things through with myself, and I’m over it! it doesn’t bother me anymore. I can act normal again. it won’t be a problem.

my brain:

[metamorphosisofmeg]

[httpluto]

me: (isnt being shown constant love and affection by a specific person) me: they hate me

[ihavehadnocourage-deactivated20]

I’m still here and so are you. We’ve gone through shit that we thought would break us, but it didn’t. We’re still here.