teenage nights;

don't become some BACKGROUND noise, a backdrop for the girls and boys.

[evienott]

owls

[evienott]

mssrprvngs​:

Evie wasn’t exactly someone James was expecting to meet wandering the halls past curfew, but it seemed as if a lot of people were surprising him lately. He studied her face for a moment before his gaze dropped to the fox in her arms and he rolled his eyes, “Merlin, Nott. That’s two strikes now. What are you doing out this late wandering the corridors?”

Quickly, she corrected him. “I wasn’t wandering. Ghost got out of the common room and I had to find him before Mrs. Norris did. Because then you know she’d get Filch and then it’d get back to McGonagall and it’d be a whole thing and she’ll make me get rid of everyone besides Magnolia.” And maybe it was a little bit of wandering the halls but it was mostly to track down her fox. 

[evienott]

dxlxhxv​:

he gave a light scoff at her demand, eyes trailing over her lips, reminiscing all the sweetness they’d inflected over the years, words and otherwise. his mind wandered, tattooed fingers pulling her closer to him as she’d made no attempt to back away. he’d take it. “tell me.” it was little more than a whisper now, not needing to be much more. the gathering was still happening around them, but the corner in which they inhabited was private enough. part of him hoped that anyone who’d ever had her or thought about it could see them now. In this moment, she was his again, and he’s shove that in anyone’s face. “yeah, but worth it. completely worth it.” he softly smiled down at her, thumb tracing the delicate trail of her jaw before brushing over her bottom lip. “tell me the name.”

for a second or two, she almost wanted to cave, to fall into the familiar habit of being with ant and play her part with such ease. but the noise from the classmates that lingered everywhere reached her ears again before she could say anything, though the name was on the tip of her tongue. despite her heart hammering in her chest and her lips fighting the urge to twitch into a smile, she shook her head. “i’m not that easy to manipulate, sweetheart.” the thumb on her lip almost made her prove otherwise but she held her ground. “try a little harder next time.” there was only the slightest second of hesitation before she broke his grip, a small smirk on her face as she headed away. 

[evienott]

dxlxhxv​:

a light smile crossed his features, reaching his eyes which was difficult enough to do at any other given time. “tell me.” it wasn’t demanding, but it could have been, he was still treading lightly, still navigating this as if it were a mine field. he edged closer, letting her hand leave his as he weaved his hand around he waist, not pulling her closer, just as a precaution. he allowed her distance, seeing as it was only moments ago they were on the verge of drowning each other in the black lake. he looked down at her, smile on verge of beckoning malice at her words. he knew the spell was dark, knew that it would be dangerous to do something like it in the castle walls, but he’d figure it out. “only once.” he confirmed, whether it was a lie or not.

“make me.” already she’d shared more with ant than she’d ever planned on, up to and including the name she gave their daughter. all of that had been given up freely, because she felt like she’d been suffocating having all of it so close to the surface, weighing her down as it was constantly on her mind. if he wanted this one, he would have to work for it. instead of pulling away, or standing still, she stepped closer. dark magic wasn’t something she was afraid of, having grown up around it and heard spells used so freely. but the only unforgivable curses she’d ever use were saved for one person in particular. “this is kind of crazy. you realize that, right?”

[evienott]

dxlxhxv​:

there was torment in her features. he knew this was a stretch but he wanted to see his daughter, even if he had no right to. maybe it was whatever was running through his veins, the potions, the illicit substances that he had taken to make himself feel on par with the gods, whatever it was, it had helped him realise that he had more out there. 

“lenora?” he mused, not wanting to admit that there was a little emotion behind the voice that mused the name. his eyes searched hers, almost intoxicated by her in that moment, thirsty for any other information, any other detail about his daughter. “just to see her… it’s easy, not technically allowed, but wouldn’t it be worth it?”

the whole name she’d given their baby in her head was almost embarrassing; how soft she was, how easily she forgave even if it was just enough to name her. she squeezed his hand again, trying to come to terms with what they would be doing. it would be looking, observing. like art in a museum: to be admired, not touched. “yeah. lenora. i gave her a middle name too, but i’m not telling you what it is.” probably because he’d make fun of her for it.

whether it was to drown her sorrows or hopefully find the strength to not cry at the bottom of the cup, evie finished her drink. “it’ll be worth it.” it wasn’t a weak hope and her voice wasn’t flimsy, on the verge of breaking. “and it can only be the once. i don’t want her parents to think we’re like, stalking them, or anything.” while that was a concern, she was more afraid that her resolve to leave without her would weaken with each glimpse of her.

[evienott]

dxlxhxv​:

she hadn’t pulled away, that was a good thing. he didn’t really know what he was expecting. this conversation had taken a giant leap in the opposite direction of where he thought it were heading. Still, he pressed his luck, lightly squeezing her hand and pulling her even closer to him, voice a little softer, as though the words themselves were more gentle. “No.. just see her… maybe give her a name that only we know…” he trailed off, his eyes looking over her. “they won’t know, she won’t know… they won’t see us or even have any idea that we have taken a little look at her…. wheres the harm in that?”

there was a world of harm that she could think of but it all ended with the same basic idea: she’d want her child back come hell or high water. she didn’t even know if there would be a precedent for that, but she’d signed away any rights to her baby when she’d stopped crying from the pain and from giving her up. “i already gave her a name,” she admitted, though the watery smile and shaky breaths seemed to ease a little. “lenora.” she’d never even told leo that, or alecto. just her pets when they were alone, talking about her and wondering what she’d be like. “just to see her?” she echoed. 

[evienott]

hcstiia​:

she hoped that was just a poor joke but it reminded her that she and evie were from very different backgrounds and perhaps reacted to the attack very differently too. “shame.” she agreed though, not wanting to start something with evie that would inevitably turn into an argument. “why wouldn’t i?” she said too quickly, blushing.

though she didn’t comment on it, she didn’t miss hestia’s quick response, one that sounded a little clipped. great, she managed to fuck this up already. “... i don’t know, i guess i was scared you’d think summer memories should stay in the summer.” that their little fling would fizzle out now that they were back on school grounds. her entire life, evie had been told that she could be a lot, her mouth several steps ahead of her brain and barely connect half the time. surely hestia would have been scared off by now. “as dumb as that sounds.” 

[evienott]

mssrprvngs​:

Being Head Boy was never something James had aspired to do. In fact, it was the last thing he thought he would ever be chosen for, but then one letter from the Headmaster later there he was pinning the Head Boy pin on his robes. Normally James would never had taken the new assignment seriously but with all the attacks and rise of the Death Eaters he was on alert. Even now as it was well after curfew he patrolled the halls to ensure all was well. When he rounded the final corner on his loop back toward the Gryffindor Common Room he spotted someone and his brow lifted, “So are you planning on actually heading to your Common Room any time tonight or do you want to be docked points for your house?”

The footsteps behind her said for sure she had been caught and Evie prepared herself mentally for the deduction of house points for being out after curfew and the, several weeks, of detention for the illegal pet she’d snuck into the castle. One of the many, but her fox, Ghost, was currently in her arms. Until she heard James and relaxed, turning around. “Come on, you’re not really gonna take points from your own house, are you?” It was almost a challenge as she kissed Ghost’s head. 

[evienott]

dxlxhxv​:

her reaction didn’t cause one from him. he remained the same, deadpan, staring back at her. there was little chance of them actually being just friends, little chance of them hanging out like he would with the likes of mulciber. they would end up like they are now or.. the alternatives were to go back to not speaking or back to screwing around in the room of requirement. 

he know he didn’t have a right to comment on what she could or couldn’t have done. he was too young at the time and he waived his rights as father the moment he chose to run. it was strange now that he was beginning to feel as though he wanted his child, regardless of him still being young. it wasn’t possible though. he stayed silent, but stepped towards her, trailing a tattooed finger along the side of her hand, before weaving his fingers with hers. “–I’m sorry you had to do that.” he meant it, but would never understand exactly what she had to deal with alone, no thanks to him. “– what if we– “ he paused, not really sure how to word what he was about to let free into the universe. “what if we can find her?”

whatever anger she had dissipated when he took her hand and she sighed, taking a drink so she didn’t have to respond. but she didn’t pull away, instead squeezing his hand. sorry didn’t change the past but it didn’t matter. it was for the best that her baby had a bright future, not one given to her by a single mother, barely halfway through her education. even if he had been there, it wouldn’t have changed anything. she and leo had both been the result of teenage pregnancies and she knew how that story ended. like mother, like daughter. “and do what?” she asked with a wet laugh, trying to pretend that she wasn’t on the verge of tears, though the alcohol likely wasn’t helping. “kidnap her? not your best plan, ant.”

[evienott]

iincendiia​:

he didn’t want to put this on her, it wasn’t fair. she had escaped and he was glad about that but he was still trapped and he despised that. it was why he was glad voldemort was gone, glad he didn’t have to take the mark which he might not have anyway. but with their father parading around in a mask, terrorizing people because of his own fear, leo was at a loss. he wanted so badly to break free from their father, to end his betrothal and just live the life he wanted but he still wasn’t sure how he’d do that, or if he just had to wait until graduation. “i’m kind of glad you don’t.” he admitted. she was a light in the darkness, he couldn’t pour himself out to her the way he thought he might be able to with rita, with someone who was half darkness too. 

“i don’t like not being able to help you, leo.” she often called alecto her best friend but it was leo. leo was the person she trusted with absolutely everything, who she went to whenever she needed help. it wasn’t sitting well that leo didn’t want her to be that person for him. “i hated that you stayed with him, but now, this? of all shit? there has to be a way for you to get out of it.” she sighed. “come back with me over christmas break. come see mum.”

[evienott]

hcstiia​:

the note had been unexpected, but she was happy that evie had had the courage to reach out. still hestia was apprehensive, would it be like it was over the summer or would it be awkward or just, different? 

“getting back into the swing of things can be difficult, with added complications like hogsmeade.” she hadn’t been hurt and hurried to reassure the brunette. “oh no i was fine, no injuries, physical anyway.” she laughed nervously, she shouldn’t have said that much. “you?”

she shook her head. “no. but i couldn’t get my chocolate frog from honeydukes, so you win some, you lose some.” if only that had been her biggest issue, but evie’d never been good with focusing on the root of her problems. like her father being at hogsmeade, her daughter potentially having been there. “thanks for meeting me. i was kind of afraid you wouldn’t.”

[evienott]

lectscarrow​:

Seeing as she was so close to both of the Notts growing up, she knew quite a bit about their parents, but mostly their father. He was the one she was able to observe growing up, that she knew first hand. And he didn’t seem to be a much better man than her own father. “I’m fine, too,” she assured her. She hated to admit it, but she knew sneaking out wouldn’t be the best idea. Alecto groaned again at the reminder of her loss of freedom. “You know it pains me to follow the rules, but I can’t go anywhere with this damn tracker on my wand. They’ll know. Astronomy tower and a bottle of whiskey?” 

She gave Evie’s hand a squeeze as they walked. If anyone else had ever tried to hold her hand, they likely would’ve ended up with a punch to the throat. Alecto felt oddly protective over Evie, and she always had. Even now, when she should be writing her off for her controversial beliefs and behavior. Maybe she admired her for having the courage to differentiate herself from the hardships she’d faced – that was something Alecto struggled with herself. “I…need your advice on something,” she said with a rare cautiousness. “Or maybe just need to vent about it. I’m not sure yet, but… I don’t think you’re going to like it.”

Evie wasn’t positive that Alecto was telling her the truth, but maybe she didn’t realize that she wasn’t yet. Growing up, Evie had made a point to never lie to her, in the hopes that Alecto would follow through. It would be awful if the lying started now. Their friendship was held together by memories and childhood bonding and a bit of magic. The foundation didn’t need any cracks. “Sounds perfect.” It wasn’t going to be the same as ever but she could still try. “Oooh, it’ll be like a sleepover! We haven’t had one of those in a long time.” It had been so long that she couldn’t remember the last time it happened. 

The words, combined with Alecto’s tone, sunk her emotions, though she’d been putting them on for Alecto’s sake anyway. Almost never was she that hesitant, looking for advice, especially with Evie. A pit formed in her stomach and her anxiety kicked up tenfold but she didn’t let herself jump to conclusions. “Try me. You know I’m always here to listen.” After a moment, she added, “And tell you when your ideas are shit,” in the hopes of lightening the mood. 

[evienott]

dxlxhxv​:

he ground his jaw at the comment, but chose to shrug it off instead. he knew he was just playing into whatever fun she was having. he wasn’t the best at controlling or… knowing… his emotions. anger was easy, indifference easy too. he was comfortable in a stable numbness, but jealousy was complicated and something he wasn’t used to. “fine.” 

he raised a brow at her comment, unsure if he really believed the words leaving her lips. he didn’t understand her, or her attachment to him. there were only so many ways this could progress and while she seemed a little more mature this time round, he was still as childish, selfish and immature as ever. “so, friends then?” 

listening to her story, he couldn’t really comprehend his involvement in it. it was faceted, layered and twisted. her family knew about it and yet no one in his life ever had the slightest idea that he was now a father. “–why’d you give her up?”

the lack of reaction made her roll her eyes. fine. he couldn’t be any fun whatsoever. well, he could, but he refused to play into her own version of fun. they weren’t the same and maybe it was why they worked well the times they’d hooked up. or maybe it was why she’d been shot down last year. “friends.” it wouldn’t be that simple, she wasn’t naive enough to believe that but she could hope, right.

“because i was fifteen,” she said with a scoff, as if it was obvious, and to her it was. “and the dad wasn’t in the picture. what, was i just supposed to bring my baby to classes, wake up all of the girls in my dorm because she wouldn’t be sleeping through the night, pass her off to my brother during quidditch games?” she ran a hand through her hair, taking a long sip of her drink. “giving her up to a family that had the means and the time to take care of her was the hardest decision i’ve ever made in my fucking life.”

[evienott]

hcstiia​:

the summer had been a blurry haze of happy days and warm nights, spent beside someone she would never have predicted. but each day got better than the one before, affection growing easily, admiration and then something akin to infatuation maybe. hestia couldn’t admit to herself what she felt for evie, it was too easy for it all to come crashing down. instead she’d just gone with the flow of the summer, enjoying each moment and recording it all in a diary, on the walls of her bedroom with polaroids and records and trinkets. she’d left all of that at home, where she thought it might stay, even as she traced the tiny sun on her wrist as she headed toward the edge of the lake.

evie’s smile made hestia’s heart skip a beat and she blushed, waving as she hurried down to meet her. “i’m not sure how we missed each other for a near month.” it was likely because hestia had been avoiding this, she didn’t want the summer feelings or memories to die. 

that was also what evie had been wondering. this wasn’t the first note she had written but it was the first one she hadn’t talked herself out of sending. she was so afraid that what they had would burn out now that they were at hogwarts that she didn’t want to taint the good memories. but she wanted to make more good memories so the note had been written out and passed to hestia. and she’d waited anxiously by the lake for a solid half an hour before the time she said she’d be there, afraid that hestia would arrive early too and they’d miss each other, thinking the other never showed. 

“you know how the first month of school is,” she said, brushing it off like it hadn’t troubled her. “everything is so busy and hectic and then hogsmeade happened ... how are you?” she asked, “you weren’t hurt or anything, right?” then she felt guilty for not having checked in sooner. 

[evienott]

iincendiia​:

he nodded and when the animal was finally gone he pulled her into his arms for a hug. she was pretty much the only person he embraced like this, even the girls he dated had struggled with his lack of intimacy skills but he was working on it, he wanted to be better for rita. but it was hard to show affection when he’d rarely received much himself, he didn’t know how to model it appropriately. evie was the only one he’d done well with when it came to empathy and affection. he shook his head, looking down at her “i don’t want to drink right now.” he just didn’t want to drink with her, he didn’t approve but he said nothing, she could do what she wanted after all but he didn’t have to be involved. “nothing helps, the anger just roots deeper in me.” he admitted.

it would be easy to forget about everything else with leo. they’d been able to distracted each other since childhood, though admittedly, evie did the distracting for both of them. if their lives hadn’t been intertwined with the death eaters from such a young age, if they hadn’t had first hand experience, things might be different. but they weren’t so the moments the masks came off were around each other only and few and far between. “shit, leo.” she didn’t know what there was to say. if there was anything to say. when their parents divorced, evie had left with their mum and he hadn’t. every day, she felt more and more like she escaped rather than moved out. “i wish i knew how to help.”

[evienott]

dxlxhxv​:

ignoring her, he chose to fold his arms over his chest, rather than give her any inkling that she was right. “so what? you’re going to go and actively try now? have fun with that.” he huffed, unable to actually ignore her words for long. 

“people change a lot over the span of a year, evie. It wouldn’t be wise to walk around thinking as if you know me still. I didn’t let you get very close to knowing me the first time anyway, so, what information are you going off of here?” he stopped himself, relaxing his arms and looking down at her. “yeah– hanging out is fine.” it wouldn’t have been right for him to tell her not to get her hopes up. she was basically telling him she still had feelings for him, and that was already hard enough for him to swallow. 

the words hit him a little harder than he expected. she had as much contact with her baby as he had, which was none. “– so they just took her?” it was foreign, this feeling running through him. a mix of anger, a slight pinch of regret and a bit of confusion. He had only really thought about him having a child when he was alone, which is generally why he surrounded himself with others. he didn’t have to think then. 

it was very evident how smug evie was at his reaction, or lack thereof. he’d all but admitted he was jealous, because the change in posture and arms moving defensively in front of her chest said that she was correct. “maybe i will. i mean, if you’re not jealous, than it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“i know people change, ant. i’m not stupid. but you also have to know that just because you didn’t let me very close that i didn’t figure some of that shit out for myself.” it wasn’t even something she was sure was true because ant had kept her at arms length and she wasn’t sure how well she knew him. they could be friends, right? even if it was the loosest definition of the word. 

with an empty laugh, she nodded. “yeah. the mediwitches took her and cleaned her up and when she was ready to leave, her new family came and got her. i stayed in the hospital for a few days and then i went home and cried for a week before my mum brought home a baby skunk that had lost it’s mother being run over by a car and i managed to stop crying long enough to look after it.” that was more than she’d ever planned on admitting and she pulled away, going to get another drink before returning. “but it’s fine. i hope she’s happy in her new home.” it wasn’t fine. but she was usually better at shoving her feelings down.

[evienott]

dxlxhxv​:

once again, he scoffed, rolling his eyes at the acquisition. noting her closing the distance between them, he followed suit, taking another step towards her and staring her down. she was right, he didn’t like it. but he wasn’t about to admit it. “I’m not jealous.” his voice was low, quiet but steady, he wasn’t letting his emotions take over. “I just don’t want him touching you. Nor do I want him laying any claim to my child.” it seemed he needed a little reminder of what jealousy actually was, but to be honest, he rarely felt it. 

“I am selfish.” he mused, stepping a little closer to her again. “And my bed is never empty.” his eyes didn’t leave her, the darkness covering them. “And I’m completely an asshole.” he agreed with each of her statements, but he wasn’t about to admit the last. he gave a light chuckle at her works, nodding his head slightly. “You missed me? I literally got you pregnant, ignored you and my unborn child and pretended I wasn’t the father to this day, and you miss me? You just pointed out all my flaws, which by the way, ain’t changing….” he signed, but there was a lightness in it this time. “I don’t want to… like, jump right into something but maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to hang out again.” he mused, meeting her eyes again. “maybe you can tell me a little about my kid… you know… sometime.”

“let’s recap: you don’t want him touching me,” she began, ticking it off on her fingers, “and you don’t want him to say that he fucked me,” another tick, “i’m pretty sure that if i ever actually did fuck him,” which would ruin her relationship with alecto without question, “you’d lose your goddamn mind. i’d call that jealousy, sweetheart.” for a split second, the idea of what he might do to amycus if she did sleep with the latter crossed her mind and she was half tempted to see if she could just to elicit a reaction from ant.

he wouldn’t admit any of this in public, or to anyone besides her. it might have been a moment of vulnerability, unlikely, or an attempt to placate her still. but looking up at him, she wasn’t sure which one she would believe. “trust me, i know you’re very much a stubborn douchebag who isn’t going to change, and if we hadn’t started hooking up when i was fourteen, current me would not be talking to you, let alone missing you.” she sighed, biting her lip. “but we did. and i do. and i don’t fucking want to, yet here i am.” but people said that if you could be just friends with an ex, either you’re still in love with them or you never were to begin with. antonin wasn’t an ex boyfriend. but an ex something. an ex almost. someone she hadn’t lost feelings for. “hanging out is good.” start slow, they could figure it out from there.

“you know, i’d really love to tell you all about her, but i don’t actually know anything about her. the last time i saw her was through the potions they gave me before handing her off to the mediwitches. i don’t know her name. ... i never even held her.”