Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Mentions of Sex.
— Word Count: 2.4k+
Author’s Note: I’m alive but at what cost? I’m sorry for such a late and short update. Not long after I posted the last chapter, I ended up hurting my back pretty badly. Staying in the sitting position for too long was genuinely the worst. Like it cause me agony no matter how much padding I tried to get behind me. I’m feeling a lot better now that I’ve been able to do some physical therapy. The next chapter will be longer I promise.
AO3.
Weekends have always been Felix’s favorite. Especially the mornings like this. Where everything was calmer and not chaotic like the weekdays. No one was rushing out of the door and most of the time they got to all actually sit around and eat breakfast together.
Today however there was only seven of them. Chan had gotten called into his family’s company for a meeting. Felix didn’t dwell on it too much. It happens. More so now that Chan has been taking on a lot more responsibility in the company.
The rest of them sat around the kitchen, some of them at the island and others at the breakfast nook by the window. Minho was standing at the stove, stirring a pot of soup that smelled so good it had Felix’s mouth watering.
“You know,” Minho starts, back turned towards the rest of them, “you didn’t tell us much about her.”
Felix’s eyes snapped up from his phone and over to Minho. “What?” He asked.
“Y/N. You didn’t tell us a lot about her the other day. That is who you’ve been texting all morning is it not?”
From the corner of his eye, Felix noticed Hyunjin’s shoulders tensing up. He couldn’t blame him. Not at all. Felix knew that Hyunjin was still hesitant. In all honesty, he knew that all of his boyfriends were. About the whole thing. But they were trying for him. They were going to meet you for him.
And for that, Felix was grateful.
“Yeah, she’s been really stressed out about her midterms,” Felix said, setting his phone down on the granite top of the island. “They start Monday and she’s freaking out a bit. So, I agreed to meet her later today to help her while she crams.”
“You mentioned that before,” Seungmin said. “That you were helping her study for midterms and you have been for awhile so I’m assuming she’s an undergrad still.”
Felix nodded. “She is,” he said. “A fourth year. Same year as Yuna. Actually, she went to the same high school as her. And Min, you know one of her best friends from the dance studio. Lee Sangwon.”
“Sangwonie?” Minho asked, still working on the soup. He gave a little nod. “He’s there at least four times a week. He’s also a regular at our workshops.”
“Wait, isn’t that Leo’s boyfriend?” Jisung asked with the tilt of his head.
“Yeah,” Changbin said. “I met him a few times when Leo and I worked on those songs last year.” He scratched the back of his neck. “Chan-hyung is going to have an aneurysm when he finds out just how young she is.”
Jeongin huffed in amusement. “He acts like the age gap between him and me is insane,” he said. “He’ll definitely have some choice words.”
“She’s not that much younger,” Felix said with a playful roll of his eyes. “And Chris needs to stop acting like he’s some kind of old man or something.”
“He’s pushing thirty,” Seungmin said. “That is old.”
“In what world is thirty old?! He’s literally in his prime years right now.”
“He definitely is,” Jisung said almost dreamily. “He’s been getting so big.”
“Oh god,” Seungmin mummbled.
“Jisung stop being a slut for ten minutes,” Minho chided, finally turning around. “We’re here to gather info about Felix’s crush before we meet her.”
Jisung pouted but nodded anyway. He leaned back into Changbin’s chest. Felix bit back a laugh.
“Is she trying to go into med school?” Jeongin asked.
Felix nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “She wants to be an Oncologist. Well, at least she thinks she does.”
“Tell her not to do it,” Seungmin said, suddenly serious. “It will drain the life out of her like it did you and me.”
“I think Yongbok looks pretty lively,” Minho said, eyeing the taller man up and down. “You though? Not so much.”
That earned a middle finger from Seungmin causing Minho and the rest of them to laugh.
“No one looks as dead as 3RACHA after they’ve finally met the deadline for one of their commissioned songs,” Hyunjin snickered.
“Making KPOP songs is hard as fuck anymore!” Jisung protested, dramatically.
“Yeah,” Changbin agreed with a nod. “These companies have become pickier and pickier with what they want.”
“And every song you’ve produced in the last two years have charted in some way,” Jeongin said.
“Y/N’s a fan of 3RACHA,” Felix added. “Like a really big fan. She’s been listening to you guys since 2017.”
Jisung stared at him with comically wide eyes. “No way,” he breathed.
“Why would she like any of our old stuff?” Changbin grumbled.
Felix grinned. “She loves your old stuff. Especially Dragon Three and Domestic Banana.”
Jeongin and Hyunjin both burst out laughing.
“Not Domestic Banana!” Jisung whined.
“It’s better than WOW,” Changbin grumbled.
“She quotes your songs regularly,” Felix said, amusement dripping from his voice. “And you should have seen my face when I saw her listening to Matryoshka for the first time. I couldn’t believe it.”
“Matryoshka!” Jeongin, Seungmin, and Minho all mimicked loudly in Changbin’s tone.
Hyunjin nearly fell off the stool from how hard he was laughing. Felix quickly grabbed his arm to hold the man up.
“Shut up!” Jisung and Changbin both wailed sounding agonized.
“You guys act like your old mixtapes were terrible,” Felix said, still laughing.
“Because they are!” Jisung protested.
“No they’re not,” Minho countered. “They’re fun.”
“And the word plays are top tier,” Seungmin added.
“Y/N says they should rerecord them and actually put them on streaming apps,” Felix said. “And that they sound sell physical albums too.”
“She’s so right though,” Jeongin agreed. “They’d make bank.”
Changbin pinched the bridge of his nose. “We are not rerecording them. Ever.”
“Aww what a shame,” Minho cooed.
“If she met you guys and found out who you were I think she’d freak out,” Felix said. “Like legitimately. She is a die hard fan. And guess who her favorite is?”
“Who?” Jisung asked.
Felix grinned. “You,” he said. “She follows like five J.One fan pages and literally stopped one of our study sessions last week because you went live on Instagram.”
Jisung eyes sparkled. “Really?” He asked excitedly. “Now I really wanna meet her. Especially since you have never been the one to entertain a crush.”
“Says you,” Felix countered.
Jisung shrugged. “Why would I when I get to look at Minho’s beautiful face every morning?”
“Are you in this relationship for him only?” Jeongin asked, teasingly.
They all already knew the answer to that. Jisung was probably the most sappy about his love for all his boyfriends. The hard drive full of love songs he’s made for them was testament to that.
“Hey!” Jisung said, pointing a finger at them threateningly. “I started dating Chan and Changbin before any of you. So suck it!”
“Yeah, yeah,” Seungmin said rolling his eyes but the fond smile on his face gave away his true feelings. “We understand that 3RACHA getting together is the catalyst for the rest of us.”
“It wasn’t Chan-hyung or I though,” Changbin said. “It was all Jisung remember? And then what? Like two months later he told Felix and everything just kinda went from there.”
“I still can’t believe it took Minho-hyung over a year to join,” Felix said, shaking his head.
“He was upset his Jisungie was already taken,” Seungmin taunted.
Minho clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “It took Jeongin even longer than that.”
“I was escaping the grips of an evil, repressive Church,” Jeongin said. “And my family.”
“I still can’t believe your horny ass almost become a priest after high school,” Hyunjin laughed.
“I’m pretty sure you were the reason,” Changbin said. “He saw you and had the worst gay awakening in queer history I think.”
Jeongin huffed out a laugh of his own. “I legitimately thought I was going to go to hell,” he said. “To me, my only redemption was that I was still attracted to women.”
“That was me when I first met Chan,” Felix said. “My poor little Catholic self.”
“What was it about Chan and Hyunjin being everyone’s gay awakening?” Jisung asked.
“They weren’t everybody’s,” Minho said. “Mine was Taecyeon. The first time I saw him on the T.V I just knew I liked men.”
Changbin nearly choked on his protein shake. “That’s why you always were so shy about greeting him at JYP?”
“Obviously!”
All seven of them broke into laughter.
“Tell us more about her,” Minho said to Felix before turning back around to focus on the food.
“She’s really, really into the arts,” Felix said. “She’s an amazing artist like Hyunjin. Her sketchbooks are insane.”
“Does she paint?” Hyunjin asked almost hopefully.
Felix smiled and nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “The only time I’ve seen her paint is with the kids at the hospital but she says she likes to do it in her free time too. She also likes fashion. She can out dress anyone. And she loves photography.” Felix paused for a moment thinking. “She cooks and bakes a lot. She says it helps her clear her mind. Her grandparents forced her to learn how to play classic instruments when she was a kid so she knows how to play the piano, cello, and guitar. Her preferred exercise is stuff like hiking or swimming but she’s picked up a pilates class a few months ago. She’s actual really outdoorsy. She used to camp and go on trips to the mountains with her family when she lived in America. She loves, loves, manga and anime. She said that if she wasn’t planning on going into medicine she would probably be a mangaka or animator. She even dreamt of working for Studio Ghibli when she a kid.”
“She like Studio Ghibli?!” Jisung squeaked. He clapped his hands together. “I needed to meet this girl yesterday! Seriously!”
“She’s going to be at Lia’s party, right?” Hyunjin asked.
“Maybe,” Felix answered with a shrug. “She’s not a fan of big, fancy parties. But, her friends might be going and she would probably feel a lot more comfortable with them there. If she ends up not going, I was thinking maybe we can invite her over for dinner or maybe go on a picnic.”
“We haven’t been on a picnic yet this year,” Jeongin said. “It’d be a good opportunity for pictures.”
“You sound just like Y/N.” Felix’s eyes settled on Seungmin who looked lost in thought. “What’s wrong, Minnie?”
“Her name sounds familiar,” he muttered.
“I mean she is pretty popular,” Felix said. “So, you’ve probably heard of her. Or, Yuna might have mentioned her. They’re not super close or anything but they do hangout sometimes.”
“Yeah,” Seungmin said. “Yeah, probably.”
Felix noticed the way his eyebrows were scrunched. The way he seemed to be going back into his brain. He wanted to ask but he decided against it.
Let him get his thoughts together first.
“If she’s the girl I think she is,” Minho started, “then good eye, Yongbok-ah.” He began grabbing bowls and plates from from the cupboards.
Jeongin immediately hopped up to help.
Felix tilted his head. “The girl you think she is?”
“I’ve seen Sangwon and his friends with a girl occasionally at the studio,” Minho explained as he started filling up plates with breakfast. “And she’s been to a few of the showcases. If that’s Y/N, then she’s pretty.”
“Y/N’s beautiful,” Felix said, softly. “The first time I saw her I think I had one of those ‘oh shit’ moments, you know?”
“But you didn’t fall for her just because of her looks,” Hyunjin said.
“Oh god no,” Felix said He accepted a bowl of rice Jeongin had filled. “Her personality is what I fell for. I think the first time I legitimately realized I was falling for her was when I was watching her play with the kids. It was like everything really clicked in that moment.”
“That’s so fucking cute,” Changbin muttered.
The kitchen fell into a comfortable silence as Minho and Jeongin served breakfast. Felix sighed in content when a bowl of the Chinese herbal chicken soup Minho had made.
“What time are you meeting her today?” Minho asked, sliding into his seat next to Seungmin.
“Around four,” Felix said. “I’ll probably just chill and play video games till then.”
“You’re never chill when you play video games,” Seungmin taunted.
Felix scrunched his nose. “Shut it.”
“What about everyone else,” Minho said. “We don’t have any plans together until tomorrow so…”
“I’m probably gonna go to my studio,” Hyunjin said. “I have an idea for a new piece.”
“Another one?” Seungmin asked. “You’ve been on a roll lately.”
“Yep and I’m going to squeeze out every ounce of creative juice I have.”
“I can squeeze out some of your juice out of you if you want,” Jisung offered, wiggling his eyebrows.
Changbin visibly cringed, pushing the younger off him. “That’s disgusting.”
“Stay away from me you heathen,” Hyunjin grumbled.
“Why are you so horny today?” Jeongin asked in pure amusement.
“I was supposed to get laid this morning but when I woke up Channie was gone,” Jisung whined.
“Oh my god,” Seungmin huffed. He rolled his eyes. “Ridiculous.”
“That’s why you insisted on sleeping with him last night,” Minho cackled.
Jisung nodded enthusiastically. “Morning sex is the best,” he stated like it was the most obvious fact.
“More like you like to use being tired as an excuse not to have to do anything,” Hyunjin snickered.
“Nah that just a bonus,” Jisung said with a grin.
Felix shook his head while trying to bite back an amused smile. “You’re insatiable,” he said.
“Says you!” Jisung protested. “You and Changbin were loud as hell last night. For hours. And you locked the door! So mean.”
“I did that to piss your voyeur ass off,” Changbin stated before popping a piece of chicken in his mouth.
Jisung flipped the middle finger at the man, earning a satisfied grin.
“Well, anyway,” Seungmin said, rolling his eyes in obviously false annoyance. “I am locking myself in my room to read. I deserve some peace and quiet.”
“Understandable,” Minho said with a nod.
“I’m going to get some paperwork for my class’s next field trip done,” Jeongin said, “and then tonight I’m going out with the guys. We’re going to see a movie and then go to get BBQ afterwards.”
“Call me if you need a ride,” Changbin said. “Don’t get too drunk. You get freakier than Chan when you are.”
“No one is freakier than Chan,” Seungmin deadpanned.
Felix laughed. “Don’t let him hear you say that.”
“Poor Y/N,” Minho said. “If she does join this relationship she’s going to have a lot to get used to.”
all works here are subject to change. this list will be updated occasionally.
last updated: 04/22/2026.
oneshots
— status: writing.
teaser (wip).
— status: writing.
teaser (wip).
social media au
pairing: music major! jisung x ballerina! fem! reader.
synopsis: after a recovering from a devastating injury, you return to jyp u in hopes of starting fresh. but your unsteady relationship with a certain music major may complicate things.
Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS SERIES. Dialogue heavy (this whole series will be). Angsty. Talks about polyamorous relationships and the stigma surrounding them. Mentions of being disowned by relatives.
— Word Count: 3.8k+
Author’s Note: Here’s Chapter Two earlier than planned just because I know how much people were looking forward to it. If you read the first version of this when I posted the WIP you’ll see that it has changed. As I’m writing I have been changing things from the WIPS. All to fit my final plan. I hope you enjoy the changes as well :)
Again no beta so I’m sorry if there are mistakes.
My AO3.
Felix was acting strange.
Like really strange. In a way you have never seen him before.
Granted, you’ve only known the man for about six months now. But still.
Felix was Felix.
He was like sunshine impersonated. Cheerful and kind even when he was exhausted from juggling both his clinical rotations and volunteer shifts at the local children’s hospital. The type of person who loved talking to other people and would drop everything just to help someone out. He was always so attentive with the children the two of you worked with. The one that would be the most active in the playroom with them, happily subject to their every whim.
Today however, Felix didn’t step one foot in the playroom. Instead he stuck with the older charge nurse and helped her with every random task he was given.
And it wasn’t just that. He had barely said a word to you when you were together. The two of you had clicked immediately when you first met. And now you usually yapped nonstop with one another— talking about everything and nothing. You immediately took his silence as him wanting some time to himself. That’s something you understood perfectly well. Time to yourself to think. To often overthink. Time work out whatever was bothering you then and come up with a solution.
But, when you asked if he wanted to skip your regular study session at Cafe Miroh, he had immediately said no. Even when you insisted that it was okay. You’d understand if he was tired and needed the rest of the day to himself.
“You have midterms coming up,” he had said. “I want to help you prepare for them.”
And so here the two of you were, sitting in the at your normal table towards the back. Felix still hadn’t said much and for the first half hour you two were there, he seemed lost in thought. He hadn’t even scanned over his notes from his rotations yesterday. They just sat open on the table, a few highlighters pilled next to them and, clear of any marks.
You decided to let the older man be though and focused on the Immunology textbook in front of you filled with colorful post its and sticky tabs. He’ll talk when he wants to. If he wants to. And even if he didn’t speak a word to you the whole time, you didn’t mind the silence. You didn’t mind giving him comfort by just sitting here with him if that’s what he needed.
You did your best to drown out the bustle around you. The cafe always got a rush during this time of the day. Most people were getting off of work or out of classes for the day. You eyes scanned over a rather long paragraph, jotting down little notes on your sticky tabs.
“So, I kind of have a question for you.”
Felix’s sudden statement after such a long silence had you freezing. Your hand hovered in the air slightly above your notebook still holding your pink pen. Your eyes flickered up and met his.
“And I might kind of have an answer for you,” you said, playfully.
You hoped to break some of the tension but, instantly knew you failed when the freckled man in front of you huffed out a “laugh” and ran a ring clad hand through his freshly re-dyed blond hair. His shoulders were the tensest they’ve been all day and the way was kept fidgeting with his rings screamed that he was nervous about something.
“What’s wrong?” You asked, sitting up straighter in your chair.
Felix shook his head at that. “Nothing’s wrong,” he said, reaching for his bubble tea and taking a sip.
You arched an eyebrow at him knowingly. “Lix,” you said, “you’ve been off all day.”
Felix winced. “I’m just tired,” he said, almost like he was trying to reassure himself more than you. He took another sip of his drink before setting it down.
Your eyes softened. “I understand that,” you said. “But something else is obviously bothering you. If you need to ask me something, go ahead. Or, if you just need someone to talk with, I’m more than willing.”
Felix’s shoulders began to relax at your words. “I just need—“ he shook his head before starting again. “I just wanted your opinion on something.”
Yeah, whatever this question was about is definitely bothering him.
“Must be important then,” you stated.
Felix shrugged. “Eh,” he muttered, “it’s more strange than anything.”
Now that had you even more curious. “Okay,” you said with a nod. “Ask away.”
Felix sucked in a deep breath, eyes locking with yours. “What do you think about polyamorous relationships?”
You blink a few times, confusion taking over now. Tilting your head at him you ask, “Polyamorous relationships?”
He nodded stiffly. “I just wanted to know where you would stand with them.”
You blinked a few times. “Where I stand?” you muttered to yourself.
“I realize I’m putting you on the spot with this question,” he said. “But please don’t feel like you have to hold back on your opinion.”
“I’m not sure if I really have one,” you said slowly. “I don’t really have experience with them?”
“Yeah,” Felix agreed. “They’re definitely not something you come across everyday.”
You nibbled at your lip in thought.
What did you think about them?
You honestly didn’t have much knowledge of them at all. You had seen people talking about them on social media a few times but that was social media. You had never actually witnessed one— if that was even the right way to put it— in real life before.
Felix shifted in his chair while he waited for you to continue and was visibly nervous.
For your answer?
Was it bothering him that much?
Did it mean that much to him?
You tucked a piece of stray hair behind your ear before speaking. “For me,” you said, “I’ve always been and always will be a love who you want to love, how you want to love person. So, I think if everyone in the relationship is satisfied, consenting, and happy then it’s perfectly fine.”
Felix nodded seemingly pondering your answer. “So,” he said almost hesitantly, “you wouldn’t find them disgusting?”
Your eyes widened a little and you shook your head. “No,” you said firmly. “Not at all.”
“And if I told you I was in one?” he asked.
It felt as though the world stopped. You blinked rapidly at him.
“Huh?” You asked, confused.
“I’m in a poly relationship.”
“HUH?!”
Multiple people in the cafe whipped their heads around to stare at you after your loud outburst. You sunk deep into your seat, violently blushing from embarrassment and glared at a now cackling Felix.
“Sorry for dropping it on you like this,” Felix said.
You stared at him shellshocked.
He was in a relationship? With multiple people?
You could feel your heart start to break a little. But you ignored it. He was telling you something that obviously was extremely important to him. Something that made him nervous and on edge all day.
And he was deciding to trust you with it.
You cherished that.
So what if you had the biggest fucking crush on him? He was a taken man and you were going to respect that.
“How many?” you blurted but quickly cringed. “Sorry.”
Great, Y/N. Just great.
Felix smiled at you softly. “Seven,” he said. “I have seven boyfriends.”
That had your eyes almost bugging out of your head. SEVEN?!
“S-s-seven?” you sputtered.
SEVEN?
Felix nodded. “Yep. We all live together too.”
SEVEN BOYFRIENDS?
And they all live together?
Holy shit.
“How do you…” you trailed off, still very much in shock.
“How do I manage it?” Felix asked knowingly.
You nodded eagerly.
“Trust me it was difficult at first,” he said, “Finding how to balance everything and meet everyone’s needs. But, over the years we’ve gotten better.”
Years? He’s been in this relationship for years?
“A lot better actually,” Felix continued after a moment. “We’re all very in tune with one another. And it is a lot of work. Seriously. But, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”
Your heart clenched at the sight of him. He looked all starry eyed and smitten.
He loves them. All of them. You could tell it already just by the few things he’s said.
“I didn’t even know you were in any type of relationship to begin with, Lix,” you said, trying your hardest to keep your voice stable.
Felix shoulders sunk but this time in sorrow instead of relief. “I know,” he said. “I should have let you know sooner—“
“No,” you said with a shake of your head.
You reached across the table and grabbed his hand but then began to pull back once you realized it might have not been appropriate to do. Not anymore now that you know about his relationship. Felix immediately grabbed your hand back, his thumb gently sliding over your knuckles— a habit you noticed he had pretty early on in your friendship.
“It’s your private life,” you continued, giving him a soft smile. “I’m honestly so happy and honored that you’re trusting me with this. I know it can’t be the easiest.”
“It’s not,” he agreed. “Our relationship isn’t a secret. It never has been and never will be. We’ve never really cared if people know. Especially me. I’ve always been loud about my love for them. But, there is times when it can be a lot. Where it can hurt. Not even just the criticism from others but also finding people that genuinely want to be and stay friends with us after finding out.” He nibbled on his lips. “It’s the reason I was so nervous to tell you. It shouldn’t have taken me six months to even mention that I was in a relationship though. I’m truly sorry for that.”
“There’s no reason to apologize, Lix,” you reassured.
“I just…” Felix squeezed your hand lightly. “I really treasure your friendship, Y/N. I treasure you. I don’t think I’ve ever connected with someone the way I connected with you.”
You stayed quiet, knowing he had more to say. Even though your heart was practically jumping out of your chest.
“There were so many times when I wanted to tell you sooner,” he admitted. “But I don’t know. I got caught up with how comfortable it was with you. It terrified me. The thought of losing that. I have a lot of friends sure. But, I don’t have a lot close friends. Best friends. Not like you.”
You pouted at him dramatically, eyes stinging with tears. “Keep being sappy and you’re gonna make me cry all over my notes.”
Felix let out a watery laugh, his own eyes a little glossy.
“I’m in the same boat,” you said. “I have my friends from high school. And I love the guys more than anything. They’re my family at this point, you know?”
Felix nodded, eyes soft.
“But I’ve always found it difficult to make friends,” you continued. “Especially close ones. The five of them… they are the closest I’ve ever been to people before. Even back in America. When I lived there, I was a lot more social. I had a lot of friends. A lot of acquaintances. But I wasn’t close to anyone. I didn’t have that sort of connection. I was popular. Too popular. And it got to me. People got to me. They used me for it and I hated it. I think that’s what makes it hard for me to connect with anyone even till this day.” You let out a soft sigh, rolling your shoulders a bit. “You’re one of the first real friends I made in university. I’m really grateful for that Lix. And I’m grateful you feel the same way. I’m not angry, hurt, or disappointed you didn’t tell me about your relationship. I understand why you would be scared. Even people you think you can trust and that are close to you can hurt you.”
Felix squeezed your hand. A solemn expression took over his face after a moment. “Most of us have been disowned by our families,” he said.
It felt as though you had a bucket of cold water poured on you.
“What?” You breathed.
“It was inventible,” Felix said. “We all knew it. With our type of relationship.”
“I’m so sorry, Lix,” you whispered, heart broken for the man.
Felix shook his head and gave you a sad smile. “It sucks, yes,” he admitted, “but we all have come to terms with it for the most part. We chose our love and happiness over our family’s and society’s expectations. It was the best decision I have ever made. A decision I don’t regret.”
You gave a nod but stayed quiet, knowing he had more to say.
“Like I said before,” he continued, “we don’t hide our relationship. We aren’t ashamed of it. But it can still hurt when people find out and things go south. I’ve never been scared of telling someone about us before. Not even my parents and I haven’t talked to them in almost three years now because of it. But with you everything was so easy. I can be myself with you like I can around my boyfriends. I don’t have to be what people expect of me. I don’t have to worry about fitting into the mold they expect me to. That’s something I don’t have a lot of. So, the thought of losing you… it broke my heart.”
You were the one to squeeze his hand. “Lix, I’ll accept all of you,” you said. “Every part. You have nothing to be ashamed of with me. I would never judge you for being human. For loving the way you want to. You won’t lose me.”
Felix lifted you hand a pressed a soft kiss to the back of it. “Thank you,” he muttered setting your hand down.
You simply nodded, lost in thought. There was so much you wanted to know but you didn’t want to be rude. You didn’t want to offend him in anyway but the curiosity was getting to you.
And you were thankful for it. Curiosity was better than the way your heart felt like it was spilt in two. Better than the realization that you lost you chance at ever confessing to him.
“You look like you have questions,” Felix said, pulling you out of your thoughts.
You opened your mouth to say something put promptly shut it. Should you ask?
“I don’t want to be rude?” you said unsure.
Felix let out a soft laugh. “I don’t think asking questions when you’re just trying to understand something is rude,” he said. “And I’ve never been the type to mind answering questions people have about my relationship. Really. I know it’s something that can be hard for some people to understand and there’s a heavy stigma around it. So honestly, I much rather people ask questions so I can clear up any confusion and not just have them assume things. Because all relationships are different, you know? And our relationship isn’t what people often think a polyamorous relationship is.”
“What do you mean?” you asked.
“Most think that people only say they’re polyamorous so they can cheat,” Felix said. “Which trust me, there are ton of people like that. And I think that’s what has left such a big stigma around it. A lot of people have been really hurt by cheaters claiming they’re poly.”
You nodded. “I get that,” you said.
“But like I said, all relationships are different. There are different types of polyamorous relationships. Well, I should say different dynamics. For me and my boyfriends, we can’t just date anyone we want. We can’t have another relationship out of ours or anything like that.”
“So it’s a closed relationship?”
“Yes and no?” Felix paused in thought for a moment. “See we didn’t start as eight,” he explained. “We built up to it and it's just been us for awhile now. There was a time when we did bring someone else into our relationship but it didn’t end up working out. Because for us, we’re a packaged deal. You don’t get to date just one or a few. It’s either all of us or none of us and if even one person were to disagree, then it’s a no go. Simple as that.”
“So you guys will probably stay as eight then?” You asked.
There was a look in Felix’s eyes that you couldn’t quite place. “Maybe? Like I said, we did almost add someone before but, that ended up falling through kind of quick. We’ve had discussions before if we would be open to adding someone else and had always been pretty open about sharing our crushes with one another. But, I think we’ve gotten really comfortable as eight. We work as eight. We’ve literally talked about the future together as eight.” He shifted in his chair slightly, almost as if he was uncomfortable. “But, there’s always a chance that all of that could change.”
You titled your head at that. Oh? “Is there someone you guys are interested in?”
Felix didn’t say something for a moment. You could tell he was trying to find the right words just by the look on his face. You knew that struggle all too well.
“Yeah,” he said finally. His eyes flickered over your face as if he was searching for something. “Well, one of us is interested in them. They haven’t met all of us yet so that makes things a little bit complicated.”
“Is it because of jealousy or?”
“Maybe a tiny bit? But I think it’s mainly because it’s just been us for so long, you know?”
“Change can be scary,” you agreed. “And you said you guys were comfortable as eight. It just might take some time for everyone to warm up to the idea. I just… I hope you all make the decision together.”
Someone else might get the chance to be with Felix.
Well, Felix and seven other men.
That still baffled you.
“We are,” Felix said. “It’s been a little bumpy but we’ll get through it. I know we will.” He paused for a moment. “I was also wondering if you wanted to meet them?”
You blinked at him. “Meet them?”
Felix nodded, gaze soft. “I think you’d get along with all of them honestly,” he said. “And I think they’d adore you.”
Could you do it?
Meet your crush’s boyfriends?
No. No. No. Don’t get jealous, Y/N. You have no right to be.
“I’d love to meet them,” you said reassuring yourself more than him.
You will not be one of those people. You were not going to risk losing your friendship with Felix by turning into some green-eyed monster.
You would love to meet them. To meet the people that make him so happy.
Felix beamed at you. One of his genuine smiles that put the sun to shame. “One of my boyfriend’s childhood friends, Lia, is having a birthday party soon,” he said, scrounging through his bag. “Her girlfriend is in your year so there will definitely be people you know there.” He handed you a pretty baby pink envelope. “I was hoping maybe you could meet them there. If you wanted.”
You accepted the envelope and immediately winced. It was high quality and textured with a gold wax seal on the back. It already screamed black tie. Which mean you had to buy a dress if you were to go.
This university specifically was full of a bunch of rich people so you shouldn’t be surprised. But still.
Parties like this were not something you enjoyed.
“Lia?” You asked as you stared to open the envelope. “As in Choi Jisu?”
Felix nodded. “You’ve heard of her?”
You hummed in acknowledgement. “I went to high school with her girlfriend.”
“You went to school with Yuna?!” Felix exclaimed surprised.
You laughed a little. “I was literally in the same class with her, Sunoo, and Sangwon,” you said. “I never really fell into her friend group but she’s close to Jaehyun and Seunghan so, we’re chill with each other.”
You pulled out the invitation, eyes scanning over it.
Just as you suspected, it was black tie.
You shouldn’t be surprised. Lia’s family was rich. Like almost Chaebol level rich.
“I talked to Yuna about getting that for you,” Felix said. “She said she was already planning to give you one anyway. Same with the rest of your friends. So, you won’t be alone. At all. I know you aren’t big on parties.”
“I like parties,” you said. “Just not…” You sighed heavily. “I don’t have great experiences with socialite parties. They’re stuffy and full of a bunch of evil snobs.”
Felix barked out a laugh. “You can say that again,” he agreed, amused. “I’m not big on them either. But, I’ll let you in on something. The parents and the rest of the older rich snobs only stay for like the first two hours. After that it turns into a student only party. Where we can let loose and actually have fun.”
You arched an eyebrow. “Oh?”
Felix nodded. “Yep,” he said. “Lia’s parties have always been like that. Her parents are chill but her grandparents… not so much. So, that’s the agreement they came up with. There’s also an actual afterparty. Well, usually it’s a sleepover. Only for her and Yuna’s closest friends. I could ask her if you and the guys can do that too.”
“Can I think about it?” you asked, still a little wary.
“Of course you can,” Felix said. “And if the party is something you really don’t want to do that’s okay. We could arrange another time for you to meet my boyfriends. Something more chill like dinner at our place. Or maybe a picnic. You’ve been mentioning you wanted to go on one since the weather’s been so nice.”
You hummed happily. “A picnic sounds so nice,” you said. “The flowers have been looking amazing lately. I need you to take some pictures of me for Instagram.”
Felix chuckled. “I’m your personal photographer now?”
You nodded. “Yep. You and Sangwon take the best photos, I swear.” You slipped the invitation back into its envelope before slipping it into your bag. “But, I’ll talk with the guys about it. I’m gonna be completely honest and say they’re most likely gonna drag me to the party anyway. Sunoo’s probably going to drag me dress shopping not even a second after Yuna gives him an invite.”
“I would love for you to go to the party,” he said. “And I promise you I won’t let any snobs near you.”
“That’s gonna be hard when that’s literally over half of the university.”
Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS SERIES. Angsty but other than that nothing (if you think I should mention something else let me know).
— Word Count: 4.5k+
Author’s Note: IT’S HEEERRRREEE! I hope you all enjoy the first part of my pride and joy. I got really excited so I decided to post the first chapter a little earlier than I had originally planned. There will not be an official update schedule for this. I don't want to stress myself out too much. And I have other work that I have to finish that I've been slacking so bad on. No beta reader we die like Neji in Naruto’s arms🫡.
If you would like to be added to the Taglist, please let me know. I have over fifty tags already (which is amazing thank you for all the love 💕) but, I don't mind making a second post for other people so everyone can stay updated.
This (and any other written work) will be crossposted on my AO3.
Lee Felix was pretty sure he was going through the worst existential crisis to ever happen in his twenty-five years of life.
Okay so, maybe “existential crisis” was a bit of an exaggeration. He wasn’t exactly questioning the meaning of life. He wasn’t there just yet.
But don’t get it wrong. He was going through it. Bad.
Like bad, bad.
And the reason for the mental spiral the poor man was suffering through at the moment?
You.
You were the reason.
You, L/N Y/N, the adorable fourth year undergrad that started volunteering at the same children’s hospital as him a few months ago.
You with the sweetest deposition and most devastatingly beautiful smile he had ever seen.
You who had him wrapped around you finger within minute of your very first conversation with one another.
You who had come into his life only six months ago and completely flipped it around.
Because now, Lee Felix had the worst crush imaginable on you.
And it wasn’t one of those cute workplace crushes you hear about. It wasn’t one of those “oh, she’s cute” crushes either.
No.
It was one of those “holy shit, I’m fucked” type of way crushes.
And he was fucked. Completely and utterly fucked.
The first thing he thinks of when he wakes up in the morning nowadays? You. What perfume would you be wearing that day if he saw you? What kind of outfit would you have on? How would your hair be styled? What would you order for lunch? What anime or obscure topic would you rant about?
His mind has been so full of everything possible about you that those questions didn’t even begin to breech the surface of his thoughts. Thoughts that he had all before he even took a step out his front door in the morning.
Thoughts that he should not be having about another person in any way, shape, or form.
Because he was already in a relationship.
A long term, healthy, happy relationship. Granted, he did have seven boyfriends— yes seven— but their relationship was everything the man could have asked for. He got to spend everyday with the people he loved most in the world. He received so much love back from seven other people that just thinking about another person made Felix feel like he was greedy.
And he was. He was greedy.
But he was also guilty. Guilty of not telling his boyfriends anything about you.
He knew he was in the wrong. He knew that he could talk to his boyfriends about you. He knew that they were always expected to be open about anything and everything. And he wasn’t. They didn’t even know you existed. They didn’t know that you were the reason why he tended to come back from his volunteer shift later than he ever had before. They didn’t know that you were the reason why he was going out more on the weekends without them. They didn’t know you were the reason why he suddenly got interested in certain TV shows and singers. Or that you were the reason he had actually began reading a lot more manga than he ever had before.
They knew nothing and it was all his fault.
Now all of that guilt was eating him alive.
Felix loved his boyfriends more than words could ever describe. But now he was also falling for you.
He was falling fast. Fast to the point he felt like his heart was plunging down from a thirty story building with no parachute.
He had spent this whole week trying to figure out what to do. He knew that he needed to tell them. He knew that he needed to tell you too. But how? How would he go about that? How would you all react to it? Would he lose you? Would he lose them?
God, he really could not lose them.
They were the real reason he woke up every morning. The reason he tried so hard to do his best every day. They were his reason for living.
He didn’t want to live without you either. But, if any of his boyfriends told him no then he knew he would have to. It was something that he had to come to terms with.
And now? Now it was the time for Yongbok to face his fears and do it. Because it was obvious that everyone was noticing how off he had been the last few weeks. And him, himself was tired. He was tired of hiding. Tired of pretending. Tired of second guessing what he should do.
So, he stood in front of the door to the house he shared with his boyfriends, trying his hardest to cement his resolve. He would do this today. He had to do this today. He reached out for the doorknob with shallow breath and immediately his hand hovered, hesitant.
Just rip the bandaid off, Felix.
Just do it.
With a nod to no one but himself, he grabbed the door handle and turned. He pushed open the door and stepped into the foyer. Immediately he was greeted by the sound of laughter coming from the living room and the intoxicating smell of food.
Minho must be making dinner.
“I’m home!” Felix called, shutting the door behind him and kicking off his shoes.
There was the sound of shuffling feet before both Minho and Jeongin appeared. Jeongin was still dressed in his teaching attire— a pair of black slacks and a gray V-neck sweater vest over a white button down— while Minho looked comfy in sweatpants and his cat printed apron over a plain white T-shirt. Minho pointed the wooden spoon he was holding at Felix, eyes narrowed and lips pouty.
“You’re late,” he said.
Felix let out a soft chuckle. For being the second oldest out of the eight of them, Minho could be adorable sometimes. “Sorry,” he said. “Missed my usual bus.”
“You could have called me for a ride, Hyung,” Jeongin said. “I would have swung by to pick you up.”
“It’s all good,” Felix said. He walked over, slipping his arms around the younger’s waist. “But, I do kind of have to talk to you all about something.”
Minho arched an eyebrow at him. “Oh?” He asked. “Should we be worried?”
Felix nibbled on the inside of his cheek nervously. Should they be worried? No. Felix thinks he’s the one that should be worried. He’s the one that fucked up.
Felix shook his head before nuzzling his face into Jeongin’s neck. The younger took that as a cue to run his hand over the blond’s hair.
“I fucked up,” Felix said voice muffled.
There were a few beats of silence before Minho spoke up again to ask questions.
“Do we have a body to hide?” he asked.
Felix huffed. “No.”
“Do you owe someone money?”
A shake of the head.
“Did you cheat?”
Felix tensed slightly at that. Did he cheat? No. No he didn’t. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel any less awful right now.
“Yongbok,” Minho said voice firmer now. “Did you sleep with someone?”
Felix immediately pulled away from Jeongin and stared at Minho with wide eyes. “No,” he rasped, throat feeling dry now. “Fuck no. I would never, Hyung. You know that.”
Minho and Jeongin both seemed to visibly relax at that.
“Then your fuck up is fixable,” Minho said. “So, why don’t you and Innie go get washed up and changed into something comfy? I think I’ll make another side or two for dinner while you’re doing that. Then all of us can talk while we eat, hmmm?”
Felix hesitated for a moment. “I—“
“Go get your thoughts together,” Minho said cutting him off with finality. “Everyone can wait an extra half hour.”
“Come on, Hyung,” Jeongin said, grabbing Felix’s hand. He begun tugging him towards the stairs.
Jeongin didn’t say much of anything else, obviously leaving Felix to collect his thoughts like Minho suggested. But he did stay the whole time. He was gentle as he helped Felix wash up and it had the older man nearly in tears.
Jeongin had always had a soft spot for Felix. Everyone knew it. Even Felix himself.
“I love you,” Felix whispered softly.
Jeongin’s hands that were towel drying the older man’s hair paused. “I love you too,” he said. “Everything will be okay. We’ll figure out whatever is wrong together. The eight of us. Like always.”
The eight of us.
Like always.
Felix shook his head, swallowing doing his insecurity and fear forcibly. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah. You’re right.”
Jeongin put up the towel before grabbing the hair drier. “Let’s get our hair dried and then go down to eat,” he said. “I’m starving.”
The two of them took turns blow drying each others hair, falling back into that comfortable silence from before. Once they were finished, they headed back downstairs. Apparently it was just in time too.
“Good,” Minho said, standing at the bottom of the stairs. “I was about to start screaming. Or worse, send Sung up there to scream at you for me.”
Jeongin let out a drawled out groan but his expression was fond. “Please no. That would be awful. I can already hear it.”
Minho snickered and grabbed Felix’s hand. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s eat before all my hard work gets cold and soggy.”
The three of them headed into the dining room where the other five already were. They all sat at their normal seats and were filling their plates up.
“Oi piglets,” Minho chided. “You better save some for us or you’re all going into the air fryer.”
“We would need an industrial sized one then,” Jisung said.
“Changbin has the money for one,” Jeongin said with a shrug, sliding into his seat.
“YAH!” Changbin protested, nearly dropping the tongs back into the japchae. “Why is it always me? I swear you all are trying to drain my bank account.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s impossible even with Lix’s affinity for designer clothes,” Seungmin said.
“What about Hyunjin’s love for ridiculously expensive art supplies?” Minho asked.
“Leave my Sennelier paints out of this,” Hyunjin said looking scandalized.
“Didn’t he just buy you a bunch of Da Vinci brushes last week too?” Seungmin asked.
“And all three hundred and something Copic markers because apparently he wants to try illustrating with them now,” Changbin grumbled.
“T-three hundred?” Jisung sputtered, a piece of galbi hanging from his chopsticks.
Changbin nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “Insane right? Who needs three hundred markers?”
Hyunjin pouted. “I do,” he whined. “You bought Lix that Louis Vuitton Beagle bag and you’re really gonna sit here and complain about my markers?”
“Hey that bag is cute!” Felix exclaimed, not being able to control himself.
The other seven men laughed. Minho and Felix took their own seats before filling up their plates. The table fell into the normal everyday ruckus but today? Today it didn’t give Felix the normal feeling of content and happiness it would have. He stayed quiet and picked at his food while listening to the mix of conversations.
Chan being Chan of course noticed. His eyes zoned in on Felix almost like he was trying to read the younger’s mind.
“Felix has something to talk about with us,” Minho said.
Immediately every other conversation came to a halt. All of them were now fully focused on him.
Felix shrunk on himself a little, feeling the anxiety begin to bubble back up.
“You know you can talk to us about anything, Lix,” Chan said tone gentle. Reassuring in that way that the oldest always was.
Felix nodded, placing down his chopsticks. “I know,” he said. “It’s just…” He let out a low groan and ran his sweaty palms over his sweatpants.
How do I do this?
“He thinks he fucked up,” Jeongin said.
“Fucked up?” Jisung asked, cheeks still full of food.
Changbin shook his head at the younger. “Swallow before you speak.”
“Why do you think you fucked up?” Jisung asked after swallowing. “Did you kill someone? Do we have to hide a body?”
“That’s what I asked,” Minho said.
“I draw the line at murder,” Seungmin stated.
“Some boyfriend you are,” Changbin laughed.
“Sorry, I have decent moral compass?”
“I’d help you hide a body,” Jeongin said from his spot across from Felix.
“Innie, you almost became a priest after high school,” Jisung said, obviously amused.
“A queer priest would be lynched in the catholic church,” Jeongin deadpanned.
Next to him, Hyunjin snorted. “Plus, Felix killing someone is like the wildest idea ever. The man can’t even use a fly swatter and gets Chan to take out the spiders even though he’s Australian too.”
“Just because I’m Australian, does not mean I’m not afraid of spiders,” Felix defended with a pout. “And I didn’t kill anyone so there’s no body to hide.”
But I am hiding somebody from you.
“Is whatever you fucked up why you’ve been so off the last few weeks?” Changbin asked.
So they did notice.
“We wanted to give you space,” Chan said. “Give you time to get yourself sorted.”
“But we were really close to calling some type of intervention,” Hyunjin said. “You were stress baking and cleaning so much that we were getting really concerned.”
An intervention? Was it that bad?
Felix stared down at his hands as they rested on top of his thighs.
Just say it, Felix.
“I’ve met someone,” he blurted, not daring to raise his head just yet.
The few moments of silence that passed felt like an eternity.
“What?” Hyunjin asked finally breaking it.
Felix raised his head, eyes immediately going to scan over his boyfriends’ faces. Every single one of them looked taken back like what he had just told them was the most shocking thing ever.
“At the children’s hospital,” he continued, voice soft— fragile. “I met someone at the children’s hospital. She’s another volunteer and…” He trailed off not knowing how to continue at the moment.
“She?” Jisung asked.
Felix nodded. “I know we haven’t talked about adding someone in such a long time,” he acknowledged. “We barely talk about other people at all anymore. But it’s been eating me alive not talking to you all about her because I really…”
“You like her,” Jeongin said knowing.
“Yes,” Felix admitted. “I really, really like her. I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about, Lix,” Chan said.
“Does she know?” Seungmin asked. “About us?”
“No,” Felix said tensely. “I haven’t told her. I wanted to talk to you all first.”
There was another pause of tense silence. The other seven men shared looks.
“How long have you known her?” Hyunjin asked breaking the silence once again.
Felix winced at the tone of his voice. Low, cold. Not Hyunjin.
“Six months,” Felix muttered.
“Six months?” Hyunjin repeated. His eyes narrowed at Felix. “You’ve known her six months and haven’t told her anything about us? Does she even know you’re in a relationship at all?”
“Hyunjin,” Minho said, a warning tone to his voice. “Six months isn’t too long. Especially when we all agreed we would only consider someone if one of us was serious.”
Felix’s head drops in shame. “She doesn’t know,” he muttered. “I never told her I was in a relationship.”
“Lix,” Jisung breathed.
“Are you fucking serious?” Hyunjin hissed.
“Hyunjin,” Chan warned.
“No,” Hyunjin shot back. “Don’t ‘Hyunjin’ me. I’ll agree six months isn’t that long. But he should have at least mention he was in some type of relationship. Especially if he is as serious about her as he seems to be.”
“I know,” Felix said, raising his head. His eyes connected with Hyunjin’s. “I know I should have. I regret it every day. I just… I got caught up. And then when I realized, I was terrified. I was terrified how just how much I liked her. I hated the fact that I never mentioned the relationship to her. But then, I didn’t know how to bring it up. Ever since she happened no one has talked about another person. And now we’re finally healed. We’re okay. We’re happy.” He gripped on his sweatpants for a moment before releasing and blew out a breath. “I think a part of me thought maybe if I didn’t bring any of it up that I would eventually get over her. That maybe my feelings were just something that would last a few months and be done. But, the last few weeks I realized that I won’t be able to so easily.”
“You’re falling for her,” Jisung said.
Felix squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. He couldn’t cry. Not yet.
“It seems like he already fell,” Changbin said.
This is my fault. I’ll have to deal with the consequences.
Felix’s eyes opened again. “I think I have,” he said. “And I’m sorry. I know there was a better way to go about this. I know I should have gotten my shit together and told you sooner. I should have told her sooner.”
“All those times you said you were hanging out with a friend from the hospital the last few months,” Seungmin said, “That was her wasn’t it?
Felix nodded grimly. “Yes,” he said. “They weren’t dates if that’s what you think. She doesn’t know—“
“You liked her and took her out,” Hyunjin said. “Multiple times. Even if she doesn’t know you like her that’s still…. It’s fucked up Lix. It’s borderline cheating.”
Felix’s heart dropped to his gut.
Cheating?
“No,” Jeongin said suddenly. His eyes narrowed on Hyunjin. “You of all people don’t get to do that shit.”
Hyunjin’s eyes widened. “I di—“
“You did the same fucking thing and everyone was okay with it,” Jeongin snapped. “Sure, I agree Lix-hyung should have at least mentioned he was in a relationship beforehand. But, didn’t we agree on one thing? Only if we were serious about a person would we talk about adding them to the relationship. Six months is not a long time to get to know someone. And him hanging out with her? That’s him getting to know her more.”
Hyunjin suddenly looked pale. He slumped back into his seat with a dazed expression on his face.
“Jeongin—“
“I’m not done,” Jeongin said cutting Chan off.
Felix couldn’t help but grimace at that. Seungmin and Jisung shared the same reaction.
“This is not how we do things,” Jeongin said. “This is not how we work. He obviously regrets it. He’s obviously sorry for it. We never gave you shit for it so we will not be giving him shit for it.” Jeongin looked over at Felix. “You haven’t kissed her, right?”
Felix shook his head.
“There. No cheating.”
The room fell silent after Jeongin finished talking. Everyone seemed lost in thought.
“I’m sorry,” Felix said after a few moments. “I’m so sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize for your feelings, Lix,” Jisung comforted.
“Jisung’s right,” Chan agreed. “You don’t have to apologize for catching feelings for someone. Jeongin’s also right. You came to us when you knew you were serious about her. That’s what we all agreed on. So we should give her a chance.”
“What if I don’t want to give her a chance?” Hyunjin asked voice shaky. “What if I’m happy with just the eight of us?”
Felix’s shoulders dropped at that. He should have known. Hyunjin has always talked about how happy he was with the eight of them.
“Get your head out of your ass,” Minho reprimanded. “Or was Jeongin’s lashing not enough?”
“No, Minho,” Chan said. “Hyunjin’s allowed to express his feelings about this too.”
Hyunjin nibbled on his lip. “I just don’t want a repeat of two years ago,” he said. “It was my fault and I…“
“She’s not her, Hyunjin,” Felix defended. “At all. And, I understand why you might not want this, Hyune. I do. It’s why I was so scared to talk to you all. But she’s… she’s amazing. She really is.”
Hyunjin seemed to consider his words. So did everyone else.
“I’m not saying I necessarily agree with Hyunjin,” Seungmin said, an unsure expression on his face. “But do you all think right now is the right time to even consider adding someone?” He ran a hand through his freshly cut, reddish brown hair. “A lot of us are at pretty vulnerable times in our lives. Lix and I are in the middle of our clinical rotations. Hyunjin is finishing up his last year of his masters and is looking for a company to intern at. Not to mention he has another exhibition in a few months. And Jeongin is in his first year teaching. It’s just… a lot.”
Chan nodded. “There is a lot going on,” he agreed. “It would be something we would have to consider carefully.” His eyes focused on Hyunjin. “And we all know how much you regret what happened Hyunjin. But that was not your fault. We all made that decision. Just because you were the one to introduce her to the relationship doesn’t mean you’re the only one at blame.”
Hyunjin looked like he wanted to object but ultimately decided against it.
“I think we should all take the time to think everything through,” Chan continued once he realized Hyunjin wasn’t going to speak. “We are going to at least meet her. That’s nonnegotiable. She’s important to Felix. And Felix, that means you have to tell her about us. You don’t have to tell her you like her yet or any of that. But you need to let her at least know that you’re in a relationship and what kind of relationship it is.”
“I will,” Felix said. “Tomorrow. I’ve been helping her study for her midterms.”
“What’s she like?” Jisung asked.
Felix smiled at the question softly, turning fond at just the though of you.
“Y/N is amazing,” he said. “She’s beautiful and smart. She’s loving too. You guys should see her with the kids. And she has all these little quirks that remind me of all of you. She’s her own person too obviously. She’s independent. Maybe a little too independent. And she works hard. Her grades are amazing. She’ll definitely be graduating at the top of her year.”
“Y/N?” Seungmin asked, eyebrows furrowed. “That’s her name?”
Felix nodded. Seungmin looked like he wanted to ask more but ended up just leaning back in his chair and nodding.
“You’re down bad,” Changbin said a knowing glint in his eyes. “You look sappy as hell.”
Felix smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of his neck. “I am,” he agreed. “I really am. And I think you all would adore her. I think she would fit easily with us.”
“And what if she doesn’t want to be in this relationship once you do confess?” Hyunjin asked.
Felix smile turned sad. “Then that’s something I’ll have to deal with,” he said. “I don’t even know how she’ll react to me being in a polyamorous relationship yet. I don’t think she’d be weird about it but…” He simply shrugged.
“We don’t want you to get hurt Felix,” Chan said. “If this doesn’t work out then…”
“It’s a risk that I’m willing to take,” Felix said. “And again. I’ll have to deal with. Getting your feelings hurt is just a part of being human sadly.” He squared his shoulders, looking more determined. “It’s all of us or none. If you don’t want this then fine. I’d rather lose her than lose any of you. I love you all more than anything. I will not give this up for anything. It will always be you.”
“Okay,” Hyunjin agreed after a minute. He let out a heavy sigh, shoulders relaxing and arms dropping. “Okay, yeah. We should meet her. I’m sorry for being so… defensive.”
Felix shook his head. “You have every right to be,” he said. “I’m sorry for the way I went about this all.”
Changbin reached over and threaded his fingers through the younger’s hair. “It’s okay,” he said. “We know you’re serious about this. We will be too, hmm?”
After a few more agreements from the table, Minho changed subjects. Felix was grateful for that. They all chatted while they finished up eating. Some were more chatty than others.
Felix stayed quiet, carefully listening to what everyone said. He could feel Hyunjin eyes on him but when he tried to catch his gaze, he was avoided awkwardly. Felix let out a heavy sigh and once again slumped in his seat.
Minho nudged his leg under the table causing Felix’s head to snap over to him. Without a word, Minho just tilted his chin at Hyunjin with a questioning looked.
Felix simply shrugged.
Apparently, Hyunjin really didn’t want this.
I’ll end up having to get over her, won’t I?
By the time Felix finished with helping clean up all the anxiety had been replaced by exhaustion.
“I’m going to turn in early,” he said to his boyfriends. “I have an earlier shift than normal tomorrow.”
“Okay,” Changbin said, pressing a soft his to his temple.
“Get some sleep,Lix,” Jisung said, plopping himself onto of Jeongin who had already made himself comfortable on the couch.
The youngest groaned under him. “Get off,” he protested.
“Never,” Jisung said in a sing song tone. He snuggled closer to the man earning another groan and a grumbled complaint that Felix didn’t catch.
“Can I…” Hyunjin grabbed Felix’s hand and slotted their fingers together. “Can I sleep with you tonight?”
Felix perked up a little at the question. “Yeah, of course you can.”
The two of them wished goodnight to all the rest of their boyfriends before heading upstairs. They moved through the steps to get ready for bed in a surprisingly comfortable silence.
“I want to apologize,” Hyunjin said once they were snuggled under the covers of Felix’s bed.
“There’s nothing for you to apologize for,” Felix said, wrapping his arms around Hyunjin.
“There is,” Hyunjin said. “I was an asshole. A hypocrite.” He let out a heavy sigh, snuggling into the blond closer. “I just… I really am scared that something like before would happen again.”
“I think we all are,” Felix said. His hand slipped under Hyunjin’s tee and rubbed soothing circles at the small of his back. “I know we are. But, Y/N isn’t like her, Hyun. And, if this is something you really don’t want then I accept that. Really. I just want… no. I need you to be truthful.”
“It’s not that I don’t want it,” Hyunjin said. “It’s just… It caught me off guard. I’ve been stressed out with everything lately that I was irritable and not thinking things through. I want to meet her. I do. And I will.”
Felix pressed a kiss to Hyunjin’s forehead. “I happy you’re willing to,” he said. “Just please be honest with me about how you feel from now on.”
SYNOPSIS: Relationships have never exactly been an easy thing for you. But when your crush, Lee Felix, introduces you to his seven boyfriends, you might find true romance and intimacy in a place you could have never imagined.
WARNINGS: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Mature Themes. Potentially Triggering Themes. Polyamorous Relationships. Member x Member. Established! SKZ. Reader is from America (I Am Sorry). Religious Trauma/Guilt. Bullying/Harassment. Homophobia. Internalized Homophobia. Depression. Anxiety. Self Deprecating Thoughts. Overworking. Burnout. Insecurity. Emotionally Vulnerability. Emotionally Distress. Past Abuse. Awful Past Relationships. Mentions of Cheating. Awful Familial Relationships. Mentions of Self-Harm/ Suicidal Ideation. Mentions of Past Underage Drinking. Classism. Dark Humor. JYP Slander. Age Gaps (Reader is younger than all of SKZ). Lots of Non-Sexual Domination. Eventual Smut. Size Differences/ Kink. BDSM. Kink Negotiation. Virgin! Reader. Copious amounts of kissing and making out. Marking. Possessiveness. Corruption Kink. Grinding/Dry Humping. Dirty Talk. Begging. Lots Of Praise. Body Worship. Degradation. P In V Sex. Unprotected Sex. Loss of Virginity. Switch! Reader. Dom/Sub. Light Spanking. Choking. Use of Toys. Bondage. Fingering. Oral. Belly Bulges. Dacryphilia. Strength Kink. Edging. Multiple Orgasms/Overstimulation. Facials. Creampies. Aftercare!!
(More to be added but all warnings will be properly listed before each chapter. Everything here is still subject to change).
STATUS: Ongoing…
― START DATE: April 16, 2026.
― END DATE: TBA.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Finally, my baby that I've been working on for awhile. If you have read the WIPS I’ve posted of this, beware: things have changed. I don’t think the changes are too drastic but they’re definitely there. Please read through the warnings well. There will be triggering subjects in here. If I miss anything in the warnings and you notice please let me know so I can add them.
Pairing: Brother’s Best Friend! Minho x Younger! Fem! Reader.
Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Talking about sex? Kinda. Not detailed. It's a question lol.
― Word Count: 1,064.
Author’s Note: A WIP from the vault lol. Gonna be posting a bunch of these. I hope it gives me motivation to write them.
Six words. That was all it took.
Six simple words, strung together in a singular question, had Lee Minho plummeting down into a full blown mental spiral.
“Will you have sex with me?”
Minho swore his brain shut down like a computer and probably even made the sound to boot. He stared at you, dazed and confused with wide eyes.
One blink. Two blinks. Then three blinks in rapid succession.
All that could be heard as the two of you stared at each other was the ticking of the clock on the kitchen wall and the low hum of the refrigerator.
“What?” he finally managed to get out after a ridiculous amount of time.
“Will you—“ Your mouth snapped shut when Minho shook his head and held up his hand.
“I heard that,” he confirmed.
“Then will you?” You asked.
Minho squinted at you. “Are you drunk?” He asked, hand dropping back down slowly.
“Does that matter?”
“Yes,” he answered, baffled.
What do you mean “does that matter”? What the fuck?
“I had a few drinks,” you said, shifting on the kitchen stool you were currently sat. You grabbed your water from the island and took a sip.
“So you are drunk.” Minho sighed.
He should have known. There was no way you of all people would be asking him that.
“I still want to know if you’ll to have sex with me,” you said, like it was the easiest thing in the world.
All the while, you had Minho nearly choking on his spit.
“Why?” He rasped. “Why all of the sudden?”
“I’m a virgin,” you stated.
More confusion. More blinks. “Okay…”
“And I don’t want to be one anymore.”
“Again, why are you asking me?” Minho asked, pointing at himself to emphasize his point. “You could ask one of your fr—“ It was Minho’s turn to snap his mouth shut but by his own volition. The idea of you sleeping with another person made his stomach churn uncomfortably.
“Because it’s you,” you said. “I trust you. A lot. And while I may want to get this whole virginity thing done and over with, I don’t particularly want my first time to be shit. I…”
You paused for a moment to take a deep breath and Minho willed himself not to watch your chest rise and fall.
“I know that with you,” you continued, “it won’t be. You’re soft with me. Attentive. I know you’ll take care of me.”
“For a drunk you really gave this some thought,” Minho mumbled.
“I’m not drunk,” you protested without much venom. “I’m buzzed, yes. But drunk? No. Sadly not. And besides, don’t they say drunk words are sober thoughts?”
“So you’ve thought about fucking me?” Minho asked, almost exasperated.
You shrugged. “You’re hot so I don’t think that’s much of a surprise.”
“Yes the fuck it is.” Minho ran a hand down his face slowly. He let out a heavy sigh, his shoulder dropping. “Your brother would have my head on a stake for even entertaining this idea. You know that right?”
You rolled your eyes. “Chanhee doesn’t have a say in what I do anymore,” you said. “It’s not his business. At all. I’m not a child and I haven’t been for a long time now.”
Minho hummed. He had to agree with that. “Still,” he continued after a moment. “You’re his sister and he’s my best friend. There’s definitely a rule about this somewhere in the bro code.”
“The bro code?” You asked, amused. “Does that even exist in your friend group? Cause I’m pretty sure half of you have slept with the same people. And didn’t Changmin date Vernon’s ex at one point? Not very bro code-y if you ask me.”
Minho cringed a little. “Okay, yeah. You have a point.”
“Look,” you said shrugging, “it’s just sex.”
“Just sex,” Minho repeated, deadpan. “But you’re still going to lengths to make sure it’s good.”
A blush blossom across your cheeks. Minho eyes zoned in on the way your pretty, glossy lips pressed together in a pout.
“I’d rather not have the worse night ever by hooking up with some random guy at the bar,” you said.
You had just came back from the bar with your friends. And Minho had been staying over at your family’s house while his apartment was out of commission due to a water leak. That’s why the two of you were here in the first place. His eyes flickered over to the clock on the kitchen wall. 2:34 A.M.
Minho wondered if you had planned to go home with someone else at the bar tonight. If you had come to the conclusion that it wouldn’t be a good idea. That you should ask someone you’re close to. That you should ask him.
His eyes snapped back to you when you cleared your throat. You shifted again, obviously beginning to grown antsy at his lack of answer.
“If you don’t want to,” you said, “you obviously don’t have to. I’ll ask someone else.”
More stomach churning and a sudden wave of nauseous hit Minho. He shook his head, maybe a little too frantically. “That’s not…” He trailed off, letting his eyes close for a moment. “It’s not that,” he began again. “I just… I don’t know. You dropping this on me when I’m half asleep really thew me off.”
You winced. “Sorry,” you apologized sheepishly.
“It’s fine,” Minho said.
But is it? Is it fine?
He needed time to think about it. To try to wrap his brain around it all. And right now he was way too tired to do that clearly.
He figured he’ll probably say no. He should say no. But he needed to find a way to not hurt you.
“Can I think about it?” He asked after yet another moment of silence.
Your eyes widened a little in surprise but you quickly followed up with a nod. “Of course,” you said. “Of course you can.”
Minho nodded, grabbing the glass of water that he had originally came to the kitchen for and turned to the exit. He looked over his shoulder at you. “Get some sleep,” he said. “I’ll see you at brunch.”
You nodded again, looking a little dazed. Minho wanted to scoff. You were the dazed one? After what you had just thrown at him?
Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS SERIES. Suggestive? Cursing obviously lol. Probably some mistakes.
— Word Count: 3.7k+
Author’s Note: I didn’t forget about this. My ass is just an insane procrastinator and I always second guess myself while writing😔. But here’s the first part FINALLY lmfao.
Cross posted to my AO3.
To you, Hwang Hyunjin had always been unattainable.
Hyunjin was popular. He has been since you first met him back in high school. Not only did he have the looks— tall with perfect portions, a ridiculously pretty face, and probably the most kissable lips ever— he also had the personality to match. He was hard working, kind to everyone, and his passion for the arts was inspiring. And even though he focused most of his attention to painting and dance, his grades never wavered. He had never let his popularity get to him. Even though he was the most sought after person at JYP University, he remained humble. And when people tried to tear Hyunjin down, saying that his face is the only thing getting him far, he remained steadfast in his passions.
You however, were “popular” by association. You were the quiet nerd that preferred to stay to herself and had her nose buried in a book half the time. And while you were technically apart of Hyunjin’s friend group, people outside of it tended to forget you existed. Even when you were constantly being announced as the top of your year— hell, top of the whole university— with a pile of academic awards under you belt. People barely ever truly acknowledged you. Surprisingly though, you were okay with that. You had never much cared for popularity. You genuinely thought it shouldn’t matter and not in one of those cliche “Oh, I’m so different” ways. You simply didn’t care. You liked going about your own hobbies, spending time to yourself, and focusing on academics. It’s what made you happy.
Hyunjin and you were complete opposites even though you were close friends. You were the stereotypical token nerd of the friend group while he was the golden boy. It has always been like that and will probably stay like that. You had accepted that fact pretty early on in your friendship. You were never going to be a girl he considered more than a friend. You were never going to be a girl he would like in that way. Because Hwang Hyunjin was completely and utterly out of your league.
And that’s why, for the millionth time that day, you asked yourself how the hell you got into your current situation.
Because, just a little over an hour ago, you were in your favorite corner of the university’s library with your head buried deep in your Organic Chemistry textbook. Well, that was until Hyunjin suddenly appeared in front of you, stealing your attention by poking your forehead with one of his slender fingers. You had practically jumped out of your skin, clutching your book to your chest while staring at Hyunjin— an overly amused Hyunjin— with wide eyes.
Hyunjin tapped on his own ears, signaling for you to take our your earbuds. You followed suit, still a little dazed from the surprise.
“I need you for something,” Hyunjin said.
“What?” you asked, setting your book in your lap.
“I have a new art project,” he said. “I need you to model for me.”
That had you blinking at him in confusion.
Me?
Model for him?
“Model?” you asked, pushing your glasses higher up the bridge of your nose.
Hyunjin nodded.
“You want me to model for you?” you inquired again, pointing a finger at yourself for emphasis.
Hyunjin let out a soft laugh, reaching over, and ruffling your hair with his ring clad hand. You couldn’t help the blush that started to crawl up your neck at the gesture. You just hoped he didn’t notice.
“Who else would I ask?” He asked.
“One of the eighty other girls fighting for your attention?” you asked.
Hyunjin smirked. “Other?” he teased. “Are you one of them?”
“No,” you said ignoring the way your heart thundered in your chest.
Hyunjin pouted dramatically at you. “Y/N,” he whined.
“Stop whining,” you said, playfully rolling your eyes. “What do you need me to model for?”
“My new art project,” Hyunjin said. “A painting. Well, I do have to take some pictures first to site my inspiration and reference. But mainly a painting.”
“And again, why me? There’s prettier gi-“
“Don’t even think about finishing that sentence,” Hyunjin said firmly cutting you off.
You instantly snapped your mouth shut.
Huh?
“I want you,” Hyunjin continued. “You’re the first person who came to mind when we got the prompt and you’re the only person who will perfectly fit it.”
And that’s how you found yourself here, mind reeling, clad in nothing but one of his white satin dress shirts in the middle of his art studio. Hyunjin had explained the premise for the project while holding the shirt out for you earlier.
“It’s supposed be something intimate,” he said. “So, I…” He sighed, running a hand through his long hair. “I’m not sure really but I do have some sort of vision. If you feel uncomfortable wearing this you don’t have to. We can choose something else.”
“This is fine,” you said accepting the shirt. “You’re bigger than me so I think it’ll cover enough.”
Immediately you noticed the way he tensed up at your statement. Your eyes zoned in on the way his Adam’s apple bobbed and how stiffly he nodded.
“Yeah,” he muttered, voice low. “Yeah, okay.”
“Did you want me to put my contacts in?” You asked.
He quickly shook his head. “No,” he said. “Your glasses are perfect.”
Hyunjin’s art studio was decorated exactly how you would think. Yes, it was a little hectic but still was very aesthetic, like something out of Pinterest.
Instead of bright white lighting, the studio was lit by warm yellow lights and the natural coming from the one big window. The walls were almost completely filled with a mix of paintings, sketches, and photos. Underneath the window was a vintage wooden desk covered in paint splatters with a pile of sketchbooks and recycled tin cans filled with paint brushes. Directly in the middle of the studio was an a large easel and next to it a side table with a few palettes with dried paint caked up on them and another few cans of paint brushes. On the floor was a large plastic tub filled to the brim with loose paints.
Your eyes scanned around the studio some more. There were dried flowers in a few corners of the room, fairy lights lining the tops of all four walls, and a few scattered vases filled with fresh flowers.
Everything in the studio screamed Hyunjin.
You shifted in the tall stool he had directed you to sit on adjacent to the easel. Hyunjin was digging through his leather messages bag, obviously in search of something.
“So,” he starts, “I went to Olive Young and got some lipsticks.”
That had you arching an eyebrow. “Lipsticks?” You asked.
“I have an idea,” Hyunjin said, walking towards you.
“Oh? What’s the idea?”
“I kiss you with the lipstick on.”
You choked on nothing, staring up at the man now standing in front of you with comedically large eyes.
Kiss me?!
“Kiss me?” You blabbered.
Hyunjin simply hummed and held out a hand. He hand a few different lipsticks in different shades. “Which shade do you think would look best?” He asked. “I wanted to stick to something red obviously but I was beat on the shade.”
“What do you mean by kiss me?” You asked ignoring his question.
A smirked tugged at his lips and you almost wanted to slap him.
You shifted in the chair, suddenly feeling not so comfortable. Your whole nervous system felt like it was vibrating.
Hwang Hyunjin kissing you?
His lips on you?
“I…” You ran a hand haphazardly through your hair. “Just how intimate is this painting supposed to be?” you asked. “I mean I’m already in just your shirt.” You motioned to yourself to get the point across.
Hyunjin’s eyes instantly changed. The light in them darken, his lids falling slightly. Slowly his eyes raked down your figure and he nibbled at his bottom lip. After a moment, his eyes dragged back up just as slowly, falling on your lips for a millisecond before they finally connected with your own.
You gulped.
Was you being in his clothes affecting him?
Or was it the fact that you were barely wearing anything?
No. He doesn’t think of me that way. He never has.
“Intimate was literally the only word we got,” he said, his voice lower than normal. His gaze was almost hypnotizing. “I told you I had a vision. But if it makes you uncomfortable we don’t have to do it. I realize I was probably pushing it with the shirt.”
“I’m not uncomfortable,” you breathed. “Just a little… surprised? I think.” Your eyes flickered to the lipsticks. “Maybe jus the classic red? I—“
Your words were cut short by the fingers of Hyunjin’s other hand underneath your chin. He gently tilted your head up, eyes meeting yours again.
“Are you sure?” He asked.
Your breath hitched. God he was beautiful.
His hair had grown out significantly since he decided to buzz it off last year. It brushed right above his shoulders now and he had recently dyed it back to his natural raven black. He had it pushed out of his face with a plastic headband and you only now noticed he was wearing the small Chrome Hearts hoops you had gifted him for his birthday. He wasn’t wearing a lick of makeup but his skin was still to die for— moisturized and smooth. His lips looked as plush and kissable as always, leaving you to wonder if he used some type of lip mask to keep them like that.
Are you sure you were okay with this? You barely knew yourself. The idea of them anywhere on you was seriously making your brain malfunction.
“Seriously Y/N,” he continued obviously noticing your hesitance. “If any of this makes you uncomfortable I need you to tell me. Please. I know I can get carried away with my ideas.”
You shook your head almost frantic.
You’d never get a chance like this again.
Let’s just hope I don’t do anything to fuck it up.
“I’m not uncomfortable,” you said. “I was just surprised at the idea. Especially when all you said was you’re going to kiss me.” You couldn’t help but pout a little.
God I wish you would actually kiss me.
Hyunjin chuckled softly. “Yeah I should have worded that better.” He looked down at the lipsticks. “Classic red?”
You hummed, ignoring the way you heart hammered in your chest. “I feel like it would fit the vibe,” you said.
Hyunjin nodded. He walked away for a second to put the other lipsticks back and took
the classic red on out the package. When he returned he handed you the lipstick.
“I need you to put it on me,” he said. “I would definitely suck at it.”
You swore your brain short circuited right then and there.
You weren’t coming out of today the same person. This whole experience was going to reshape you. It might even just kill you.
“Yeah,” you muttered taking the lipstick from him. “Yeah okay sure.”
Hyunjin moved closer and placed large, calloused hands on your bare thighs. With a gentle nudge he coaxed you to spread your legs so he could stand between them.
Hyunjin was big. He has always towered over you. Ever since high school. But back then he may have been tall but he was lanky. Now? That lanky teen was gone. What was in front of you was nothing short of a man. Granted, he was still the prettiest man you had ever seen— Felix being a close second of course— but he had grown so much over the last few years. His shoulder with double yours and you swore his arms were the size of your head now. His teenage features we gone and replaced with something sharper.
You felt even more nervous around him now at times than you had back in high school. He had changed while you often felt like you were stuck in the same place you’ve been for years.
With shaky hands you uncapped the lipstick and took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself.
Girl, get your ass together. He asked you to do this. You need to do this.
“Your ears are red,” Hyunjin teased.
You gave him a half assed glare, reaching up with your free hand and smooshing his cheeks. “Shut up and stay still,” you grumbled.
Hyunjin let out a muffled laugh through the forced pout you had him in. You dropped your hand and screwed the lipstick up. You took your time to carefully apply it to his lips, making sure not to over line them and trying you damn hardest to not think about how soft they were.
“I’m going to have to reapply it a few times,” You said while screwing the lipstick back down when you finished. You put the cap back on. “It depends on how much you kiss me.”
Hyunjin simply hummed in acknowledgement. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” He asked.
“If I wasn’t,” you said voice light, “I wouldn’t have put the lipstick on you. So pucker up, pretty boy.”
Hyunjin’s eyes lit up at that. “Pretty boy?”
“Like you don’t know.”
“I never knew you considered me pretty.”
You sent him a really? look that had him shrugging.
“That’s good to know,” Hyunjin muttered so quietly you barely heard him.
But you did. Of course you did. And before you had the chance to ask what he meant, he voiced a question of his own.
“Are you okay if I take off your glasses?”
You nodded. “Yeah, that’s fine.”
Hyunjin reached up and grabbed your glasses, carefully pulling them from your face. He paused for a moment, eyes flicking over your face as if in search for any discomfort. He set them down on the stool next to you. Then his hands were on your cheeks. They were so warm. So gentle. You almost melted from that alone.
“I’m going to start now,” Hyunjin said.
You simply hummed, not exactly trusting your voice at the moment.
The first kiss was feather light, right above your eyebrow. But then, his hands traveled down and rested on your shoulders. He proceed to press a firmer kiss close to your temple. You let your eyes close and tried your hardest to relax but it was difficult. The man that you have been pining after for years was kissing you. Anyone in your situation would be reacting the same. At least that’s what you were telling yourself.
Hyunjin pulled away after a few more strategically placed kisses.
“Can you apply more?” he asked.
Your eyes fluttered open and you nodded slowly, trying to regain some composure. You felt… floaty. Like your brain wasn’t all there. Maybe it was the scent of his cologne or the warmth that radiated off of him.
“Yeah,” you whispered.
You took a few deep breaths and tried to will your hands to stop shaking so much as you uncapped the lipstick.
“Are you okay?” Hyunjin asked.
“I’m fine,” you squeaked, cheeks flushed from embarrassment. “Come here.”
Hyunjin eyed you for a second seemingly unsure before letting out a soft sigh. His hands found their way back to your thighs and you instantly noticed they were higher up than the first time. You nearly jumped when his right thumb began brushing soft circles on your inner thigh. Hyunjin definitely noticed your reaction but instead of mentioning it, he leaned down to your level.
Yep. This whole experience is going to end up killing me.
You took another few breaths before you started to apply the lipstick to Hyunjin’s lips. Even though you were focused on what you were doing, you could feel the man’s eyes locked in on you.
“Can you see me, okay?” Hyunjin asked, voice quiet.
“I’m not that blind,” you responded, amusement seeping into your voice.
“Are you sure about that?” He asked sharing in your amusement. “Remember that one time you almost walked into a wall?
“I was drunk!” you protested, sending him a glare.
Hyunjin cackled and you clicked your tongue.
“Stop talking while I’m doing this,” you grumbled.
Hyunjin simply hummed and let you finish up. You capped the lipstick before checking over your work. You noticed a smudge so without much thought you reached up to wipe it away with your thumb.
Dumb move.
Very dumb move.
Your thumb brushed Hyunjin’s bottom lip and immediately his grip on your thighs tightened. You let out a squeak in surprised, eyes shooting up to try to meet his. Hyunjin’s eyes were dark, half lidded and no longer focused on your face. Instead, they were zoned in on your thighs.
“Hyun?” You asked, voice barely above a whisper.
“Hmm?” He hummed lowly.
The sound shot straight to your core and your legs tried to squeeze together on instinct. But instead, they pressed against Hyunjin’s legs. He quirked an eyebrow at that and met your gaze. His hands traveled up another inch causing your back to straighten and shoulders to stiffen.
“I’m going to start again, okay?” He asked.
A nod was all you managed.
God help me.
You didn’t expect his hands to move. One sliding up slowly, tentatively, and coming to rest on the small of your back. The other reached for the back of your neck, adding a soft pressure. Hyunjin leaned down further eyes fluttering shut and pressed a soft kiss right on your pulse point.
Everything went still in that moment. It was like you brain had turned off, the world had stopped spinning, and your heart skipped a beat. Hyunjin moved down your neck, pressing kiss after kiss. And every single part of your nervous system lit up suddenly like a Christmas tree.
A small nip to your collarbone had your breath hitching.
Huh?
“J-jinnie,” you sputtered.
There was another scrape of teeth but harsher this time. Your hands flew to his shoulders and a soft whimper escaped your lips when his tongue pressed softly against where his teeth had nipped.
Your mind was going a million miles a minute.
What was happening? Why was he doing this? Acting like this? He’s never shown any type of interest or attraction before so why now?
The hand on the back of your neck tightened its grip earning another whimper. Hyunjin moved back to your pulse point, his hot breath ghosting across your neck. You could feel the warmth spreading throughout your body. The pressure building in your tummy.
“Hyunjin.”
That seemed to snap him out of it. He pulled back suddenly, eyes blown wide and cheeks flushed. You watched as his chest rise and fall with heavy breaths.
“I…” Hyunjin gulped. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”
Your heart deflated at that.
I shouldn’t have?
“It’s fine,” you said.
It wasn’t.
You wanted more. Selfishly. Greedily.
You wanted all of him.
A few nips were nothing. A few kisses avoiding where you wanted him the most were nothing.
You regretted opening your mouth. You wanted to now how far he would have gone if you didn’t.
Hyunjin seemed just as dazed as you had been. He ran a hand down his face and let out a shaky breath.
He regrets it.
Just move on, Y/N.
Get this over before you got your heart broken more.
“You have to take pictures first, right?” You asked, voice unsteady. You winced at the sound.
You noticed the way his eye twitched and the look of confusion that took over.
“Yes,” he said. “But, Y/N I—“
“It’s fine,” you interrupted. “Really.”
“But it’s not,” Hyunjin said, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have done that. Especially without your consent. I…”
“Hyunjin. It’s okay. If I wanted you to stop, I would have pushed you away.”
A few beats of ridiculously tense silence passed between the two of you.
“If you wanted me to stop?” Hyunjin looked even more confused now.
You fiddled with the lipstick in your hand. “I thought you just wanted to leave a few marks for the project.”
Lie. A complete lie made on the spot. You just didn’t want him to feel bad. Nor did you want to get caught up in your feelings that were obviously not returned.
At least you didn’t think they were.
But he has been acting weird today.
You shook your head and tossed away the thought.
“Though you didn’t do a very good job,” you said, trying to joke a little.
To lighten up the tense atmosphere surrounding the two of you.
But instead of lightening the mood it made it worse. Hyunjin’s eyes darkened. He took a step back towards you.
“You said my name,” Hyunjin said. “So, I assumed you wanted me to stop.”
“I was a little confused that’s all,” you said as nonchalantly as you could. You even gave him a shrug.
“So, if I told you I did want to leave marks?” He asked.
You blinked a few times.
Want?
His tone was so different. It was deep. Raspy. Something you barely ever hear out of him.
“If it was for the project then okay,” you said, softly.
Not okay but you didn’t want to let him down.
If getting your heart broken a little more meant Hyunjin was happy then so be it.
Hyunjin’s eyebrows furrowed together. “For the project?” He asked definitely more to himself than you. “Only for the project?”
You tilted your head at him, confused.
What?
What did he mean by “only for the project”?
But before you could even open your mouth to ask a question Hyunjin stopped you.
“I’m going to go get something more comfortable for you to model on,” he said, hurriedly. His gaze now fixed to the door of his studio. “Then we can take pictures.”
Your shoulder slumped a little. Maybe of relief. Maybe of disappointment. You didn’t know. But without question, you gave him a nod.
“Okay,” you agreed.
Hyunjin fled the room without so much as another glance, leaving you to your thoughts.
Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS SERIES. Dialogue heavy (this whole series will be). Angsty. Talks about polyamorous relationships and the stigma surrounding them. Mentions of being disowned by relatives.
— Word Count: 3.8k+
Author’s Note: Here’s Chapter Two earlier than planned just because I know how much people were looking forward to it. If you read the first version of this when I posted the WIP you’ll see that it has changed. As I’m writing I have been changing things from the WIPS. All to fit my final plan. I hope you enjoy the changes as well :)
Again no beta so I’m sorry if there are mistakes.
My AO3.
Felix was acting strange.
Like really strange. In a way you have never seen him before.
Granted, you’ve only known the man for about six months now. But still.
Felix was Felix.
He was like sunshine impersonated. Cheerful and kind even when he was exhausted from juggling both his clinical rotations and volunteer shifts at the local children’s hospital. The type of person who loved talking to other people and would drop everything just to help someone out. He was always so attentive with the children the two of you worked with. The one that would be the most active in the playroom with them, happily subject to their every whim.
Today however, Felix didn’t step one foot in the playroom. Instead he stuck with the older charge nurse and helped her with every random task he was given.
And it wasn’t just that. He had barely said a word to you when you were together. The two of you had clicked immediately when you first met. And now you usually yapped nonstop with one another— talking about everything and nothing. You immediately took his silence as him wanting some time to himself. That’s something you understood perfectly well. Time to yourself to think. To often overthink. Time work out whatever was bothering you then and come up with a solution.
But, when you asked if he wanted to skip your regular study session at Cafe Miroh, he had immediately said no. Even when you insisted that it was okay. You’d understand if he was tired and needed the rest of the day to himself.
“You have midterms coming up,” he had said. “I want to help you prepare for them.”
And so here the two of you were, sitting in the at your normal table towards the back. Felix still hadn’t said much and for the first half hour you two were there, he seemed lost in thought. He hadn’t even scanned over his notes from his rotations yesterday. They just sat open on the table, a few highlighters pilled next to them and, clear of any marks.
You decided to let the older man be though and focused on the Immunology textbook in front of you filled with colorful post its and sticky tabs. He’ll talk when he wants to. If he wants to. And even if he didn’t speak a word to you the whole time, you didn’t mind the silence. You didn’t mind giving him comfort by just sitting here with him if that’s what he needed.
You did your best to drown out the bustle around you. The cafe always got a rush during this time of the day. Most people were getting off of work or out of classes for the day. You eyes scanned over a rather long paragraph, jotting down little notes on your sticky tabs.
“So, I kind of have a question for you.”
Felix’s sudden statement after such a long silence had you freezing. Your hand hovered in the air slightly above your notebook still holding your pink pen. Your eyes flickered up and met his.
“And I might kind of have an answer for you,” you said, playfully.
You hoped to break some of the tension but, instantly knew you failed when the freckled man in front of you huffed out a “laugh” and ran a ring clad hand through his freshly re-dyed blond hair. His shoulders were the tensest they’ve been all day and the way was kept fidgeting with his rings screamed that he was nervous about something.
“What’s wrong?” You asked, sitting up straighter in your chair.
Felix shook his head at that. “Nothing’s wrong,” he said, reaching for his bubble tea and taking a sip.
You arched an eyebrow at him knowingly. “Lix,” you said, “you’ve been off all day.”
Felix winced. “I’m just tired,” he said, almost like he was trying to reassure himself more than you. He took another sip of his drink before setting it down.
Your eyes softened. “I understand that,” you said. “But something else is obviously bothering you. If you need to ask me something, go ahead. Or, if you just need someone to talk with, I’m more than willing.”
Felix’s shoulders began to relax at your words. “I just need—“ he shook his head before starting again. “I just wanted your opinion on something.”
Yeah, whatever this question was about is definitely bothering him.
“Must be important then,” you stated.
Felix shrugged. “Eh,” he muttered, “it’s more strange than anything.”
Now that had you even more curious. “Okay,” you said with a nod. “Ask away.”
Felix sucked in a deep breath, eyes locking with yours. “What do you think about polyamorous relationships?”
You blink a few times, confusion taking over now. Tilting your head at him you ask, “Polyamorous relationships?”
He nodded stiffly. “I just wanted to know where you would stand with them.”
You blinked a few times. “Where I stand?” you muttered to yourself.
“I realize I’m putting you on the spot with this question,” he said. “But please don’t feel like you have to hold back on your opinion.”
“I’m not sure if I really have one,” you said slowly. “I don’t really have experience with them?”
“Yeah,” Felix agreed. “They’re definitely not something you come across everyday.”
You nibbled at your lip in thought.
What did you think about them?
You honestly didn’t have much knowledge of them at all. You had seen people talking about them on social media a few times but that was social media. You had never actually witnessed one— if that was even the right way to put it— in real life before.
Felix shifted in his chair while he waited for you to continue and was visibly nervous.
For your answer?
Was it bothering him that much?
Did it mean that much to him?
You tucked a piece of stray hair behind your ear before speaking. “For me,” you said, “I’ve always been and always will be a love who you want to love, how you want to love person. So, I think if everyone in the relationship is satisfied, consenting, and happy then it’s perfectly fine.”
Felix nodded seemingly pondering your answer. “So,” he said almost hesitantly, “you wouldn’t find them disgusting?”
Your eyes widened a little and you shook your head. “No,” you said firmly. “Not at all.”
“And if I told you I was in one?” he asked.
It felt as though the world stopped. You blinked rapidly at him.
“Huh?” You asked, confused.
“I’m in a poly relationship.”
“HUH?!”
Multiple people in the cafe whipped their heads around to stare at you after your loud outburst. You sunk deep into your seat, violently blushing from embarrassment and glared at a now cackling Felix.
“Sorry for dropping it on you like this,” Felix said.
You stared at him shellshocked.
He was in a relationship? With multiple people?
You could feel your heart start to break a little. But you ignored it. He was telling you something that obviously was extremely important to him. Something that made him nervous and on edge all day.
And he was deciding to trust you with it.
You cherished that.
So what if you had the biggest fucking crush on him? He was a taken man and you were going to respect that.
“How many?” you blurted but quickly cringed. “Sorry.”
Great, Y/N. Just great.
Felix smiled at you softly. “Seven,” he said. “I have seven boyfriends.”
That had your eyes almost bugging out of your head. SEVEN?!
“S-s-seven?” you sputtered.
SEVEN?
Felix nodded. “Yep. We all live together too.”
SEVEN BOYFRIENDS?
And they all live together?
Holy shit.
“How do you…” you trailed off, still very much in shock.
“How do I manage it?” Felix asked knowingly.
You nodded eagerly.
“Trust me it was difficult at first,” he said, “Finding how to balance everything and meet everyone’s needs. But, over the years we’ve gotten better.”
Years? He’s been in this relationship for years?
“A lot better actually,” Felix continued after a moment. “We’re all very in tune with one another. And it is a lot of work. Seriously. But, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”
Your heart clenched at the sight of him. He looked all starry eyed and smitten.
He loves them. All of them. You could tell it already just by the few things he’s said.
“I didn’t even know you were in any type of relationship to begin with, Lix,” you said, trying your hardest to keep your voice stable.
Felix shoulders sunk but this time in sorrow instead of relief. “I know,” he said. “I should have let you know sooner—“
“No,” you said with a shake of your head.
You reached across the table and grabbed his hand but then began to pull back once you realized it might have not been appropriate to do. Not anymore now that you know about his relationship. Felix immediately grabbed your hand back, his thumb gently sliding over your knuckles— a habit you noticed he had pretty early on in your friendship.
“It’s your private life,” you continued, giving him a soft smile. “I’m honestly so happy and honored that you’re trusting me with this. I know it can’t be the easiest.”
“It’s not,” he agreed. “Our relationship isn’t a secret. It never has been and never will be. We’ve never really cared if people know. Especially me. I’ve always been loud about my love for them. But, there is times when it can be a lot. Where it can hurt. Not even just the criticism from others but also finding people that genuinely want to be and stay friends with us after finding out.” He nibbled on his lips. “It’s the reason I was so nervous to tell you. It shouldn’t have taken me six months to even mention that I was in a relationship though. I’m truly sorry for that.”
“There’s no reason to apologize, Lix,” you reassured.
“I just…” Felix squeezed your hand lightly. “I really treasure your friendship, Y/N. I treasure you. I don’t think I’ve ever connected with someone the way I connected with you.”
You stayed quiet, knowing he had more to say. Even though your heart was practically jumping out of your chest.
“There were so many times when I wanted to tell you sooner,” he admitted. “But I don’t know. I got caught up with how comfortable it was with you. It terrified me. The thought of losing that. I have a lot of friends sure. But, I don’t have a lot close friends. Best friends. Not like you.”
You pouted at him dramatically, eyes stinging with tears. “Keep being sappy and you’re gonna make me cry all over my notes.”
Felix let out a watery laugh, his own eyes a little glossy.
“I’m in the same boat,” you said. “I have my friends from high school. And I love the guys more than anything. They’re my family at this point, you know?”
Felix nodded, eyes soft.
“But I’ve always found it difficult to make friends,” you continued. “Especially close ones. The five of them… they are the closest I’ve ever been to people before. Even back in America. When I lived there, I was a lot more social. I had a lot of friends. A lot of acquaintances. But I wasn’t close to anyone. I didn’t have that sort of connection. I was popular. Too popular. And it got to me. People got to me. They used me for it and I hated it. I think that’s what makes it hard for me to connect with anyone even till this day.” You let out a soft sigh, rolling your shoulders a bit. “You’re one of the first real friends I made in university. I’m really grateful for that Lix. And I’m grateful you feel the same way. I’m not angry, hurt, or disappointed you didn’t tell me about your relationship. I understand why you would be scared. Even people you think you can trust and that are close to you can hurt you.”
Felix squeezed your hand. A solemn expression took over his face after a moment. “Most of us have been disowned by our families,” he said.
It felt as though you had a bucket of cold water poured on you.
“What?” You breathed.
“It was inventible,” Felix said. “We all knew it. With our type of relationship.”
“I’m so sorry, Lix,” you whispered, heart broken for the man.
Felix shook his head and gave you a sad smile. “It sucks, yes,” he admitted, “but we all have come to terms with it for the most part. We chose our love and happiness over our family’s and society’s expectations. It was the best decision I have ever made. A decision I don’t regret.”
You gave a nod but stayed quiet, knowing he had more to say.
“Like I said before,” he continued, “we don’t hide our relationship. We aren’t ashamed of it. But it can still hurt when people find out and things go south. I’ve never been scared of telling someone about us before. Not even my parents and I haven’t talked to them in almost three years now because of it. But with you everything was so easy. I can be myself with you like I can around my boyfriends. I don’t have to be what people expect of me. I don’t have to worry about fitting into the mold they expect me to. That’s something I don’t have a lot of. So, the thought of losing you… it broke my heart.”
You were the one to squeeze his hand. “Lix, I’ll accept all of you,” you said. “Every part. You have nothing to be ashamed of with me. I would never judge you for being human. For loving the way you want to. You won’t lose me.”
Felix lifted you hand a pressed a soft kiss to the back of it. “Thank you,” he muttered setting your hand down.
You simply nodded, lost in thought. There was so much you wanted to know but you didn’t want to be rude. You didn’t want to offend him in anyway but the curiosity was getting to you.
And you were thankful for it. Curiosity was better than the way your heart felt like it was spilt in two. Better than the realization that you lost you chance at ever confessing to him.
“You look like you have questions,” Felix said, pulling you out of your thoughts.
You opened your mouth to say something put promptly shut it. Should you ask?
“I don’t want to be rude?” you said unsure.
Felix let out a soft laugh. “I don’t think asking questions when you’re just trying to understand something is rude,” he said. “And I’ve never been the type to mind answering questions people have about my relationship. Really. I know it’s something that can be hard for some people to understand and there’s a heavy stigma around it. So honestly, I much rather people ask questions so I can clear up any confusion and not just have them assume things. Because all relationships are different, you know? And our relationship isn’t what people often think a polyamorous relationship is.”
“What do you mean?” you asked.
“Most think that people only say they’re polyamorous so they can cheat,” Felix said. “Which trust me, there are ton of people like that. And I think that’s what has left such a big stigma around it. A lot of people have been really hurt by cheaters claiming they’re poly.”
You nodded. “I get that,” you said.
“But like I said, all relationships are different. There are different types of polyamorous relationships. Well, I should say different dynamics. For me and my boyfriends, we can’t just date anyone we want. We can’t have another relationship out of ours or anything like that.”
“So it’s a closed relationship?”
“Yes and no?” Felix paused in thought for a moment. “See we didn’t start as eight,” he explained. “We built up to it and it's just been us for awhile now. There was a time when we did bring someone else into our relationship but it didn’t end up working out. Because for us, we’re a packaged deal. You don’t get to date just one or a few. It’s either all of us or none of us and if even one person were to disagree, then it’s a no go. Simple as that.”
“So you guys will probably stay as eight then?” You asked.
There was a look in Felix’s eyes that you couldn’t quite place. “Maybe? Like I said, we did almost add someone before but, that ended up falling through kind of quick. We’ve had discussions before if we would be open to adding someone else and had always been pretty open about sharing our crushes with one another. But, I think we’ve gotten really comfortable as eight. We work as eight. We’ve literally talked about the future together as eight.” He shifted in his chair slightly, almost as if he was uncomfortable. “But, there’s always a chance that all of that could change.”
You titled your head at that. Oh? “Is there someone you guys are interested in?”
Felix didn’t say something for a moment. You could tell he was trying to find the right words just by the look on his face. You knew that struggle all too well.
“Yeah,” he said finally. His eyes flickered over your face as if he was searching for something. “Well, one of us is interested in them. They haven’t met all of us yet so that makes things a little bit complicated.”
“Is it because of jealousy or?”
“Maybe a tiny bit? But I think it’s mainly because it’s just been us for so long, you know?”
“Change can be scary,” you agreed. “And you said you guys were comfortable as eight. It just might take some time for everyone to warm up to the idea. I just… I hope you all make the decision together.”
Someone else might get the chance to be with Felix.
Well, Felix and seven other men.
That still baffled you.
“We are,” Felix said. “It’s been a little bumpy but we’ll get through it. I know we will.” He paused for a moment. “I was also wondering if you wanted to meet them?”
You blinked at him. “Meet them?”
Felix nodded, gaze soft. “I think you’d get along with all of them honestly,” he said. “And I think they’d adore you.”
Could you do it?
Meet your crush’s boyfriends?
No. No. No. Don’t get jealous, Y/N. You have no right to be.
“I’d love to meet them,” you said reassuring yourself more than him.
You will not be one of those people. You were not going to risk losing your friendship with Felix by turning into some green-eyed monster.
You would love to meet them. To meet the people that make him so happy.
Felix beamed at you. One of his genuine smiles that put the sun to shame. “One of my boyfriend’s childhood friends, Lia, is having a birthday party soon,” he said, scrounging through his bag. “Her girlfriend is in your year so there will definitely be people you know there.” He handed you a pretty baby pink envelope. “I was hoping maybe you could meet them there. If you wanted.”
You accepted the envelope and immediately winced. It was high quality and textured with a gold wax seal on the back. It already screamed black tie. Which mean you had to buy a dress if you were to go.
This university specifically was full of a bunch of rich people so you shouldn’t be surprised. But still.
Parties like this were not something you enjoyed.
“Lia?” You asked as you stared to open the envelope. “As in Choi Jisu?”
Felix nodded. “You’ve heard of her?”
You hummed in acknowledgement. “I went to high school with her girlfriend.”
“You went to school with Yuna?!” Felix exclaimed surprised.
You laughed a little. “I was literally in the same class with her, Sunoo, and Sangwon,” you said. “I never really fell into her friend group but she’s close to Jaehyun and Seunghan so, we’re chill with each other.”
You pulled out the invitation, eyes scanning over it.
Just as you suspected, it was black tie.
You shouldn’t be surprised. Lia’s family was rich. Like almost Chaebol level rich.
“I talked to Yuna about getting that for you,” Felix said. “She said she was already planning to give you one anyway. Same with the rest of your friends. So, you won’t be alone. At all. I know you aren’t big on parties.”
“I like parties,” you said. “Just not…” You sighed heavily. “I don’t have great experiences with socialite parties. They’re stuffy and full of a bunch of evil snobs.”
Felix barked out a laugh. “You can say that again,” he agreed, amused. “I’m not big on them either. But, I’ll let you in on something. The parents and the rest of the older rich snobs only stay for like the first two hours. After that it turns into a student only party. Where we can let loose and actually have fun.”
You arched an eyebrow. “Oh?”
Felix nodded. “Yep,” he said. “Lia’s parties have always been like that. Her parents are chill but her grandparents… not so much. So, that’s the agreement they came up with. There’s also an actual afterparty. Well, usually it’s a sleepover. Only for her and Yuna’s closest friends. I could ask her if you and the guys can do that too.”
“Can I think about it?” you asked, still a little wary.
“Of course you can,” Felix said. “And if the party is something you really don’t want to do that’s okay. We could arrange another time for you to meet my boyfriends. Something more chill like dinner at our place. Or maybe a picnic. You’ve been mentioning you wanted to go on one since the weather’s been so nice.”
You hummed happily. “A picnic sounds so nice,” you said. “The flowers have been looking amazing lately. I need you to take some pictures of me for Instagram.”
Felix chuckled. “I’m your personal photographer now?”
You nodded. “Yep. You and Sangwon take the best photos, I swear.” You slipped the invitation back into its envelope before slipping it into your bag. “But, I’ll talk with the guys about it. I’m gonna be completely honest and say they’re most likely gonna drag me to the party anyway. Sunoo’s probably going to drag me dress shopping not even a second after Yuna gives him an invite.”
“I would love for you to go to the party,” he said. “And I promise you I won’t let any snobs near you.”
“That’s gonna be hard when that’s literally over half of the university.”
I’m so excited for your Serendipity series. I’ve been waiting for the full thing ever since you posted the first teaser last summer and it’s back and I can’t be more hyped 😭😭
i'm sorry you had to wait so long for me to get my shit together but thank you so, so much for the love <3. i have a lot of plans for the series so i hope everyone will look forward to it :)
Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS SERIES. Suggestive? Cursing obviously lol. Probably some mistakes.
— Word Count: 3.7k+
Author’s Note: I didn’t forget about this. My ass is just an insane procrastinator and I always second guess myself while writing😔. But here’s the first part FINALLY lmfao.
Cross posted to my AO3.
To you, Hwang Hyunjin had always been unattainable.
Hyunjin was popular. He has been since you first met him back in high school. Not only did he have the looks— tall with perfect portions, a ridiculously pretty face, and probably the most kissable lips ever— he also had the personality to match. He was hard working, kind to everyone, and his passion for the arts was inspiring. And even though he focused most of his attention to painting and dance, his grades never wavered. He had never let his popularity get to him. Even though he was the most sought after person at JYP University, he remained humble. And when people tried to tear Hyunjin down, saying that his face is the only thing getting him far, he remained steadfast in his passions.
You however, were “popular” by association. You were the quiet nerd that preferred to stay to herself and had her nose buried in a book half the time. And while you were technically apart of Hyunjin’s friend group, people outside of it tended to forget you existed. Even when you were constantly being announced as the top of your year— hell, top of the whole university— with a pile of academic awards under you belt. People barely ever truly acknowledged you. Surprisingly though, you were okay with that. You had never much cared for popularity. You genuinely thought it shouldn’t matter and not in one of those cliche “Oh, I’m so different” ways. You simply didn’t care. You liked going about your own hobbies, spending time to yourself, and focusing on academics. It’s what made you happy.
Hyunjin and you were complete opposites even though you were close friends. You were the stereotypical token nerd of the friend group while he was the golden boy. It has always been like that and will probably stay like that. You had accepted that fact pretty early on in your friendship. You were never going to be a girl he considered more than a friend. You were never going to be a girl he would like in that way. Because Hwang Hyunjin was completely and utterly out of your league.
And that’s why, for the millionth time that day, you asked yourself how the hell you got into your current situation.
Because, just a little over an hour ago, you were in your favorite corner of the university’s library with your head buried deep in your Organic Chemistry textbook. Well, that was until Hyunjin suddenly appeared in front of you, stealing your attention by poking your forehead with one of his slender fingers. You had practically jumped out of your skin, clutching your book to your chest while staring at Hyunjin— an overly amused Hyunjin— with wide eyes.
Hyunjin tapped on his own ears, signaling for you to take our your earbuds. You followed suit, still a little dazed from the surprise.
“I need you for something,” Hyunjin said.
“What?” you asked, setting your book in your lap.
“I have a new art project,” he said. “I need you to model for me.”
That had you blinking at him in confusion.
Me?
Model for him?
“Model?” you asked, pushing your glasses higher up the bridge of your nose.
Hyunjin nodded.
“You want me to model for you?” you inquired again, pointing a finger at yourself for emphasis.
Hyunjin let out a soft laugh, reaching over, and ruffling your hair with his ring clad hand. You couldn’t help the blush that started to crawl up your neck at the gesture. You just hoped he didn’t notice.
“Who else would I ask?” He asked.
“One of the eighty other girls fighting for your attention?” you asked.
Hyunjin smirked. “Other?” he teased. “Are you one of them?”
“No,” you said ignoring the way your heart thundered in your chest.
Hyunjin pouted dramatically at you. “Y/N,” he whined.
“Stop whining,” you said, playfully rolling your eyes. “What do you need me to model for?”
“My new art project,” Hyunjin said. “A painting. Well, I do have to take some pictures first to site my inspiration and reference. But mainly a painting.”
“And again, why me? There’s prettier gi-“
“Don’t even think about finishing that sentence,” Hyunjin said firmly cutting you off.
You instantly snapped your mouth shut.
Huh?
“I want you,” Hyunjin continued. “You’re the first person who came to mind when we got the prompt and you’re the only person who will perfectly fit it.”
And that’s how you found yourself here, mind reeling, clad in nothing but one of his white satin dress shirts in the middle of his art studio. Hyunjin had explained the premise for the project while holding the shirt out for you earlier.
“It’s supposed be something intimate,” he said. “So, I…” He sighed, running a hand through his long hair. “I’m not sure really but I do have some sort of vision. If you feel uncomfortable wearing this you don’t have to. We can choose something else.”
“This is fine,” you said accepting the shirt. “You’re bigger than me so I think it’ll cover enough.”
Immediately you noticed the way he tensed up at your statement. Your eyes zoned in on the way his Adam’s apple bobbed and how stiffly he nodded.
“Yeah,” he muttered, voice low. “Yeah, okay.”
“Did you want me to put my contacts in?” You asked.
He quickly shook his head. “No,” he said. “Your glasses are perfect.”
Hyunjin’s art studio was decorated exactly how you would think. Yes, it was a little hectic but still was very aesthetic, like something out of Pinterest.
Instead of bright white lighting, the studio was lit by warm yellow lights and the natural coming from the one big window. The walls were almost completely filled with a mix of paintings, sketches, and photos. Underneath the window was a vintage wooden desk covered in paint splatters with a pile of sketchbooks and recycled tin cans filled with paint brushes. Directly in the middle of the studio was an a large easel and next to it a side table with a few palettes with dried paint caked up on them and another few cans of paint brushes. On the floor was a large plastic tub filled to the brim with loose paints.
Your eyes scanned around the studio some more. There were dried flowers in a few corners of the room, fairy lights lining the tops of all four walls, and a few scattered vases filled with fresh flowers.
Everything in the studio screamed Hyunjin.
You shifted in the tall stool he had directed you to sit on adjacent to the easel. Hyunjin was digging through his leather messages bag, obviously in search of something.
“So,” he starts, “I went to Olive Young and got some lipsticks.”
That had you arching an eyebrow. “Lipsticks?” You asked.
“I have an idea,” Hyunjin said, walking towards you.
“Oh? What’s the idea?”
“I kiss you with the lipstick on.”
You choked on nothing, staring up at the man now standing in front of you with comedically large eyes.
Kiss me?!
“Kiss me?” You blabbered.
Hyunjin simply hummed and held out a hand. He hand a few different lipsticks in different shades. “Which shade do you think would look best?” He asked. “I wanted to stick to something red obviously but I was beat on the shade.”
“What do you mean by kiss me?” You asked ignoring his question.
A smirked tugged at his lips and you almost wanted to slap him.
You shifted in the chair, suddenly feeling not so comfortable. Your whole nervous system felt like it was vibrating.
Hwang Hyunjin kissing you?
His lips on you?
“I…” You ran a hand haphazardly through your hair. “Just how intimate is this painting supposed to be?” you asked. “I mean I’m already in just your shirt.” You motioned to yourself to get the point across.
Hyunjin’s eyes instantly changed. The light in them darken, his lids falling slightly. Slowly his eyes raked down your figure and he nibbled at his bottom lip. After a moment, his eyes dragged back up just as slowly, falling on your lips for a millisecond before they finally connected with your own.
You gulped.
Was you being in his clothes affecting him?
Or was it the fact that you were barely wearing anything?
No. He doesn’t think of me that way. He never has.
“Intimate was literally the only word we got,” he said, his voice lower than normal. His gaze was almost hypnotizing. “I told you I had a vision. But if it makes you uncomfortable we don’t have to do it. I realize I was probably pushing it with the shirt.”
“I’m not uncomfortable,” you breathed. “Just a little… surprised? I think.” Your eyes flickered to the lipsticks. “Maybe jus the classic red? I—“
Your words were cut short by the fingers of Hyunjin’s other hand underneath your chin. He gently tilted your head up, eyes meeting yours again.
“Are you sure?” He asked.
Your breath hitched. God he was beautiful.
His hair had grown out significantly since he decided to buzz it off last year. It brushed right above his shoulders now and he had recently dyed it back to his natural raven black. He had it pushed out of his face with a plastic headband and you only now noticed he was wearing the small Chrome Hearts hoops you had gifted him for his birthday. He wasn’t wearing a lick of makeup but his skin was still to die for— moisturized and smooth. His lips looked as plush and kissable as always, leaving you to wonder if he used some type of lip mask to keep them like that.
Are you sure you were okay with this? You barely knew yourself. The idea of them anywhere on you was seriously making your brain malfunction.
“Seriously Y/N,” he continued obviously noticing your hesitance. “If any of this makes you uncomfortable I need you to tell me. Please. I know I can get carried away with my ideas.”
You shook your head almost frantic.
You’d never get a chance like this again.
Let’s just hope I don’t do anything to fuck it up.
“I’m not uncomfortable,” you said. “I was just surprised at the idea. Especially when all you said was you’re going to kiss me.” You couldn’t help but pout a little.
God I wish you would actually kiss me.
Hyunjin chuckled softly. “Yeah I should have worded that better.” He looked down at the lipsticks. “Classic red?”
You hummed, ignoring the way you heart hammered in your chest. “I feel like it would fit the vibe,” you said.
Hyunjin nodded. He walked away for a second to put the other lipsticks back and took
the classic red on out the package. When he returned he handed you the lipstick.
“I need you to put it on me,” he said. “I would definitely suck at it.”
You swore your brain short circuited right then and there.
You weren’t coming out of today the same person. This whole experience was going to reshape you. It might even just kill you.
“Yeah,” you muttered taking the lipstick from him. “Yeah okay sure.”
Hyunjin moved closer and placed large, calloused hands on your bare thighs. With a gentle nudge he coaxed you to spread your legs so he could stand between them.
Hyunjin was big. He has always towered over you. Ever since high school. But back then he may have been tall but he was lanky. Now? That lanky teen was gone. What was in front of you was nothing short of a man. Granted, he was still the prettiest man you had ever seen— Felix being a close second of course— but he had grown so much over the last few years. His shoulder with double yours and you swore his arms were the size of your head now. His teenage features we gone and replaced with something sharper.
You felt even more nervous around him now at times than you had back in high school. He had changed while you often felt like you were stuck in the same place you’ve been for years.
With shaky hands you uncapped the lipstick and took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself.
Girl, get your ass together. He asked you to do this. You need to do this.
“Your ears are red,” Hyunjin teased.
You gave him a half assed glare, reaching up with your free hand and smooshing his cheeks. “Shut up and stay still,” you grumbled.
Hyunjin let out a muffled laugh through the forced pout you had him in. You dropped your hand and screwed the lipstick up. You took your time to carefully apply it to his lips, making sure not to over line them and trying you damn hardest to not think about how soft they were.
“I’m going to have to reapply it a few times,” You said while screwing the lipstick back down when you finished. You put the cap back on. “It depends on how much you kiss me.”
Hyunjin simply hummed in acknowledgement. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” He asked.
“If I wasn’t,” you said voice light, “I wouldn’t have put the lipstick on you. So pucker up, pretty boy.”
Hyunjin’s eyes lit up at that. “Pretty boy?”
“Like you don’t know.”
“I never knew you considered me pretty.”
You sent him a really? look that had him shrugging.
“That’s good to know,” Hyunjin muttered so quietly you barely heard him.
But you did. Of course you did. And before you had the chance to ask what he meant, he voiced a question of his own.
“Are you okay if I take off your glasses?”
You nodded. “Yeah, that’s fine.”
Hyunjin reached up and grabbed your glasses, carefully pulling them from your face. He paused for a moment, eyes flicking over your face as if in search for any discomfort. He set them down on the stool next to you. Then his hands were on your cheeks. They were so warm. So gentle. You almost melted from that alone.
“I’m going to start now,” Hyunjin said.
You simply hummed, not exactly trusting your voice at the moment.
The first kiss was feather light, right above your eyebrow. But then, his hands traveled down and rested on your shoulders. He proceed to press a firmer kiss close to your temple. You let your eyes close and tried your hardest to relax but it was difficult. The man that you have been pining after for years was kissing you. Anyone in your situation would be reacting the same. At least that’s what you were telling yourself.
Hyunjin pulled away after a few more strategically placed kisses.
“Can you apply more?” he asked.
Your eyes fluttered open and you nodded slowly, trying to regain some composure. You felt… floaty. Like your brain wasn’t all there. Maybe it was the scent of his cologne or the warmth that radiated off of him.
“Yeah,” you whispered.
You took a few deep breaths and tried to will your hands to stop shaking so much as you uncapped the lipstick.
“Are you okay?” Hyunjin asked.
“I’m fine,” you squeaked, cheeks flushed from embarrassment. “Come here.”
Hyunjin eyed you for a second seemingly unsure before letting out a soft sigh. His hands found their way back to your thighs and you instantly noticed they were higher up than the first time. You nearly jumped when his right thumb began brushing soft circles on your inner thigh. Hyunjin definitely noticed your reaction but instead of mentioning it, he leaned down to your level.
Yep. This whole experience is going to end up killing me.
You took another few breaths before you started to apply the lipstick to Hyunjin’s lips. Even though you were focused on what you were doing, you could feel the man’s eyes locked in on you.
“Can you see me, okay?” Hyunjin asked, voice quiet.
“I’m not that blind,” you responded, amusement seeping into your voice.
“Are you sure about that?” He asked sharing in your amusement. “Remember that one time you almost walked into a wall?
“I was drunk!” you protested, sending him a glare.
Hyunjin cackled and you clicked your tongue.
“Stop talking while I’m doing this,” you grumbled.
Hyunjin simply hummed and let you finish up. You capped the lipstick before checking over your work. You noticed a smudge so without much thought you reached up to wipe it away with your thumb.
Dumb move.
Very dumb move.
Your thumb brushed Hyunjin’s bottom lip and immediately his grip on your thighs tightened. You let out a squeak in surprised, eyes shooting up to try to meet his. Hyunjin’s eyes were dark, half lidded and no longer focused on your face. Instead, they were zoned in on your thighs.
“Hyun?” You asked, voice barely above a whisper.
“Hmm?” He hummed lowly.
The sound shot straight to your core and your legs tried to squeeze together on instinct. But instead, they pressed against Hyunjin’s legs. He quirked an eyebrow at that and met your gaze. His hands traveled up another inch causing your back to straighten and shoulders to stiffen.
“I’m going to start again, okay?” He asked.
A nod was all you managed.
God help me.
You didn’t expect his hands to move. One sliding up slowly, tentatively, and coming to rest on the small of your back. The other reached for the back of your neck, adding a soft pressure. Hyunjin leaned down further eyes fluttering shut and pressed a soft kiss right on your pulse point.
Everything went still in that moment. It was like you brain had turned off, the world had stopped spinning, and your heart skipped a beat. Hyunjin moved down your neck, pressing kiss after kiss. And every single part of your nervous system lit up suddenly like a Christmas tree.
A small nip to your collarbone had your breath hitching.
Huh?
“J-jinnie,” you sputtered.
There was another scrape of teeth but harsher this time. Your hands flew to his shoulders and a soft whimper escaped your lips when his tongue pressed softly against where his teeth had nipped.
Your mind was going a million miles a minute.
What was happening? Why was he doing this? Acting like this? He’s never shown any type of interest or attraction before so why now?
The hand on the back of your neck tightened its grip earning another whimper. Hyunjin moved back to your pulse point, his hot breath ghosting across your neck. You could feel the warmth spreading throughout your body. The pressure building in your tummy.
“Hyunjin.”
That seemed to snap him out of it. He pulled back suddenly, eyes blown wide and cheeks flushed. You watched as his chest rise and fall with heavy breaths.
“I…” Hyunjin gulped. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”
Your heart deflated at that.
I shouldn’t have?
“It’s fine,” you said.
It wasn’t.
You wanted more. Selfishly. Greedily.
You wanted all of him.
A few nips were nothing. A few kisses avoiding where you wanted him the most were nothing.
You regretted opening your mouth. You wanted to now how far he would have gone if you didn’t.
Hyunjin seemed just as dazed as you had been. He ran a hand down his face and let out a shaky breath.
He regrets it.
Just move on, Y/N.
Get this over before you got your heart broken more.
“You have to take pictures first, right?” You asked, voice unsteady. You winced at the sound.
You noticed the way his eye twitched and the look of confusion that took over.
“Yes,” he said. “But, Y/N I—“
“It’s fine,” you interrupted. “Really.”
“But it’s not,” Hyunjin said, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have done that. Especially without your consent. I…”
“Hyunjin. It’s okay. If I wanted you to stop, I would have pushed you away.”
A few beats of ridiculously tense silence passed between the two of you.
“If you wanted me to stop?” Hyunjin looked even more confused now.
You fiddled with the lipstick in your hand. “I thought you just wanted to leave a few marks for the project.”
Lie. A complete lie made on the spot. You just didn’t want him to feel bad. Nor did you want to get caught up in your feelings that were obviously not returned.
At least you didn’t think they were.
But he has been acting weird today.
You shook your head and tossed away the thought.
“Though you didn’t do a very good job,” you said, trying to joke a little.
To lighten up the tense atmosphere surrounding the two of you.
But instead of lightening the mood it made it worse. Hyunjin’s eyes darkened. He took a step back towards you.
“You said my name,” Hyunjin said. “So, I assumed you wanted me to stop.”
“I was a little confused that’s all,” you said as nonchalantly as you could. You even gave him a shrug.
“So, if I told you I did want to leave marks?” He asked.
You blinked a few times.
Want?
His tone was so different. It was deep. Raspy. Something you barely ever hear out of him.
“If it was for the project then okay,” you said, softly.
Not okay but you didn’t want to let him down.
If getting your heart broken a little more meant Hyunjin was happy then so be it.
Hyunjin’s eyebrows furrowed together. “For the project?” He asked definitely more to himself than you. “Only for the project?”
You tilted your head at him, confused.
What?
What did he mean by “only for the project”?
But before you could even open your mouth to ask a question Hyunjin stopped you.
“I’m going to go get something more comfortable for you to model on,” he said, hurriedly. His gaze now fixed to the door of his studio. “Then we can take pictures.”
Your shoulder slumped a little. Maybe of relief. Maybe of disappointment. You didn’t know. But without question, you gave him a nod.
“Okay,” you agreed.
Hyunjin fled the room without so much as another glance, leaving you to your thoughts.
Pairing: Brother’s Best Friend! Minho x Younger! Fem! Reader.
Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Talking about sex? Kinda. Not detailed. It's a question lol.
― Word Count: 1,064.
Author’s Note: A WIP from the vault lol. Gonna be posting a bunch of these. I hope it gives me motivation to write them.
Six words. That was all it took.
Six simple words, strung together in a singular question, had Lee Minho plummeting down into a full blown mental spiral.
“Will you have sex with me?”
Minho swore his brain shut down like a computer and probably even made the sound to boot. He stared at you, dazed and confused with wide eyes.
One blink. Two blinks. Then three blinks in rapid succession.
All that could be heard as the two of you stared at each other was the ticking of the clock on the kitchen wall and the low hum of the refrigerator.
“What?” he finally managed to get out after a ridiculous amount of time.
“Will you—“ Your mouth snapped shut when Minho shook his head and held up his hand.
“I heard that,” he confirmed.
“Then will you?” You asked.
Minho squinted at you. “Are you drunk?” He asked, hand dropping back down slowly.
“Does that matter?”
“Yes,” he answered, baffled.
What do you mean “does that matter”? What the fuck?
“I had a few drinks,” you said, shifting on the kitchen stool you were currently sat. You grabbed your water from the island and took a sip.
“So you are drunk.” Minho sighed.
He should have known. There was no way you of all people would be asking him that.
“I still want to know if you’ll to have sex with me,” you said, like it was the easiest thing in the world.
All the while, you had Minho nearly choking on his spit.
“Why?” He rasped. “Why all of the sudden?”
“I’m a virgin,” you stated.
More confusion. More blinks. “Okay…”
“And I don’t want to be one anymore.”
“Again, why are you asking me?” Minho asked, pointing at himself to emphasize his point. “You could ask one of your fr—“ It was Minho’s turn to snap his mouth shut but by his own volition. The idea of you sleeping with another person made his stomach churn uncomfortably.
“Because it’s you,” you said. “I trust you. A lot. And while I may want to get this whole virginity thing done and over with, I don’t particularly want my first time to be shit. I…”
You paused for a moment to take a deep breath and Minho willed himself not to watch your chest rise and fall.
“I know that with you,” you continued, “it won’t be. You’re soft with me. Attentive. I know you’ll take care of me.”
“For a drunk you really gave this some thought,” Minho mumbled.
“I’m not drunk,” you protested without much venom. “I’m buzzed, yes. But drunk? No. Sadly not. And besides, don’t they say drunk words are sober thoughts?”
“So you’ve thought about fucking me?” Minho asked, almost exasperated.
You shrugged. “You’re hot so I don’t think that’s much of a surprise.”
“Yes the fuck it is.” Minho ran a hand down his face slowly. He let out a heavy sigh, his shoulder dropping. “Your brother would have my head on a stake for even entertaining this idea. You know that right?”
You rolled your eyes. “Chanhee doesn’t have a say in what I do anymore,” you said. “It’s not his business. At all. I’m not a child and I haven’t been for a long time now.”
Minho hummed. He had to agree with that. “Still,” he continued after a moment. “You’re his sister and he’s my best friend. There’s definitely a rule about this somewhere in the bro code.”
“The bro code?” You asked, amused. “Does that even exist in your friend group? Cause I’m pretty sure half of you have slept with the same people. And didn’t Changmin date Vernon’s ex at one point? Not very bro code-y if you ask me.”
Minho cringed a little. “Okay, yeah. You have a point.”
“Look,” you said shrugging, “it’s just sex.”
“Just sex,” Minho repeated, deadpan. “But you’re still going to lengths to make sure it’s good.”
A blush blossom across your cheeks. Minho eyes zoned in on the way your pretty, glossy lips pressed together in a pout.
“I’d rather not have the worse night ever by hooking up with some random guy at the bar,” you said.
You had just came back from the bar with your friends. And Minho had been staying over at your family’s house while his apartment was out of commission due to a water leak. That’s why the two of you were here in the first place. His eyes flickered over to the clock on the kitchen wall. 2:34 A.M.
Minho wondered if you had planned to go home with someone else at the bar tonight. If you had come to the conclusion that it wouldn’t be a good idea. That you should ask someone you’re close to. That you should ask him.
His eyes snapped back to you when you cleared your throat. You shifted again, obviously beginning to grown antsy at his lack of answer.
“If you don’t want to,” you said, “you obviously don’t have to. I’ll ask someone else.”
More stomach churning and a sudden wave of nauseous hit Minho. He shook his head, maybe a little too frantically. “That’s not…” He trailed off, letting his eyes close for a moment. “It’s not that,” he began again. “I just… I don’t know. You dropping this on me when I’m half asleep really thew me off.”
You winced. “Sorry,” you apologized sheepishly.
“It’s fine,” Minho said.
But is it? Is it fine?
He needed time to think about it. To try to wrap his brain around it all. And right now he was way too tired to do that clearly.
He figured he’ll probably say no. He should say no. But he needed to find a way to not hurt you.
“Can I think about it?” He asked after yet another moment of silence.
Your eyes widened a little in surprise but you quickly followed up with a nod. “Of course,” you said. “Of course you can.”
Minho nodded, grabbing the glass of water that he had originally came to the kitchen for and turned to the exit. He looked over his shoulder at you. “Get some sleep,” he said. “I’ll see you at brunch.”
You nodded again, looking a little dazed. Minho wanted to scoff. You were the dazed one? After what you had just thrown at him?