Leave your dreams at the door
So this thing happened last month where the company I loved working for in the most ideal environment went bankrupt and suddenly everything I’d fought for and my dreams were just being pulled from under my feet. For a long time, I had to struggle even to get where I was convincing my family that this was a road that I wanted to go down and path that I firmly believed in. Even after getting a first in an MA in Music Industry Management, they still were skeptical of my decisions. Despite that I worked incredibly hard to prove to myself and everyone else this was the right thing for me. Now, coming from an African family there is always this pressure to look and be successful by doing something supposedly reputable e.g. doctor, lawyer, engineer etc, so it’s no wonder why my pursuit of following the music industry was blasphemous.
While I’ve spent the last month being unemployed and actively searching for a job, the pressure to deliver has been unreal. As soul destroying as becoming unemployed is (especially when you’re a busy body like myself) and having rejections or be ignored left, right and centre, now more than ever is where you’d expect to have your support system right by your side. Apparently it’s okay to make someone feel like their an utter failure and make them feel like they’ve wasted their life especially at their lowest point. Well let me tell you something - no, it’s not okay. I don’t need someone else to make me realise that my life isn’t the success that I hoped it would be, shit happens and sometimes you just have to deal with it which is what I’m trying to do.
So now I’ve been advised that I should give up my dreams and aspirations and check into the ‘real world’ and get a proper job even if I don’t like it. I’m sorry, but I can’t fake enthusiasm for an industry I have no care for. Well I have news for you, I’m gonna stick to my guns and prove to myself that you can have dreams and be happy in what you do even if nobody else understand your vision. What this whole experience has taught me though is that if I ever have children, never am I going to pressure them to conform to something they don’t believe in and make sure they know from day one that they can do whatever they want to do in their life and know that no matter what I will support them whole heartedly.
I’ve recently started doing yoga and trying to find inner peace, so this is the perfect opportunity for me to find some clarity and calm.
