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@evigh3t
✱ 𝙴𝚅𝙸𝙶𝙷𝟹𝚃 . eternity . an exclusive rp blog written for vanguardiahq , adored by manes [ twenty7 / they & she ] . please do not follow or interact with any posts on this blog if you are not affiliated with vanguardiahq .
✱ dr. søren holmström : fifty4 . professor of applied metahuman physiology . he / him .
visage. musings. pinterest.
✱ ivelisse huitzil - ximenez : twenty3 . student of vital dynamics + crisis management . they / she .
visage. musings. pinterest.
closed starter for @evigh3t.
plot drop.
the courtyard is quieter than the gallery, but not enough to settle the shaking in her chest. alejandra sinks onto the cold bench, the white fabric of her gown pooling around her like spilled moonlight. hands are still trembling, jaw still aching from being clenched too tight. she can still hear that sponsor’s laugh ⎯⎯ sharp, careless, cutting straight through her. soft. he’d said it like it was an insult. like they hadn’t been ripped apart inside that test and stitched themselves back together just to keep going. the humiliation, anger, and the sick heaviness she’d been carrying these past days crashed over her all at once. she’d felt the air shift around her, colder, sharper, reacting before she could stop it. she had to leave. if she’d stayed, she wasn’t sure what she would’ve done … or what would’ve happened. out here, in the quiet, the tears slip free before she can stop them. she hates that. hates that she’s breaking down over a stranger’s cruelty, hates that her powers feel like they’re fraying at the edges, hates that everything feels too loud and too much. she sniffled, wiping her face quickly with the heel of her palm, trying to erase the evidence as soon as she hears footsteps. when she looks up and sees dr. holmström, her heart jumps ⎯⎯ embarrassed, defensive, tired. ale clears her throat, forcing her voice steady, even if it wavers at the edges. “ i’m just getting some air, ” she lies, a small, thin smile tugging at her lips even though it doesn’t reach her eyes. “ i’ll come back inside in a bit. ”
there was a dark cloud over vanguardia. søren felt it just as deeply as the students. whenever he closed his eyes, he was back there as though he had never escaped the simulation — a long, tarmac road with a car upturned at the side of it, slipping halfway down a grassy verge, home to a waxy version of his younger self. it had been years since he had experienced such heartache, such an uprooting of memories he had worked to bury. since the accident, through their marriage and training and alongside raising a daughter, him and sigrid had discovered ways of managing the memories that threatened to wriggle through the cracks of his rationale. nothing seemed to work, not anymore. classes were suffering, headed by a tutor with dark eyes and exhausted, weather - worn features. the lines that life had placed upon his face seemed deeper, almost like cracks in leather, and it was that exhaustion that had guided him outside into the fresh air that winter day to escape the warmth of the ball. the brisk air caught his cheeks and brought the familiar chill of home. he wondered whether it was a sign to return, the slow unravelling of his mind and sanity, or whether a trek back to sweden would be the final nail in the coffin. søren didn’t have all that much time to come to a conclusion ; his exhausted, stricken blue eyes focused on alejandra, and he offered a weary smile. “you don’t have to worry. i won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me too,” and there was a silent assurance again, much like that day back at orientation. soren was there for ale in the way a father might have been, just without the blood ties. “was it a little much for you too in there ? ”
The corner of Kai's lips twitched at his joke, but he kept his stare blank. "Doctor, right. Incredible that they still let you keep that title when you stop doing the job." Kai didn't know anything about Søren's history, but he could still piece together that something must have occurred to shift his career from doctor to teacher. Maybe it would be worth finding out why it happened, so he didn't make the same mistakes, but that would involve trying to have an open and honest conversation with a Vanguardia faculty member; he would much rather keep them at arms length. "I live to entertain. Maybe in return, you could try to make your class just as challenging. Shockingly enough, I'd actually like to learn something useful."
the defensiveness of youth. he had never been quite like that, had always been more of an open book, but søren had seen — and dealt with — enough students and plucky medical trainees that he could spot it from a mile away. one day he hoped kai would realize that the world wasn’t out to get him, at least not as much as he felt it was at the time. calmly, fatherly, he replied ; “the doctor comes from my qualifications which, luckily for your education, don’t have a time limit. all those years at medical school were good for something.” but, here in vanguardia, his days were less life or death, despite the students believing that a bad grade would lead directly to their demise. the stakes were lower, the pay - off greater, and he could comfortably return to his and sigrid’s quarters without trembling hands at the end of each day. “tell me then, kai,” he clicked his fingers together, “what do you want to learn ? ask me something — anything.”
It was harder than he expected to step into the simulation. People always said you never truly knew what someone had been or was still going through. And Jasper felt the weight of that now. His own memories didn’t claw for space the same way; his life had been more lonely than traumatic, and lately he wasn’t sure whether that was something to be grateful for or another quiet kind of wound.
His gaze moved slowly between the car and the older man beside him. His brow furrowed, concern written openly across his face. He could only imagine what it was like for Søren to face something like this again, unfolding in front of his eyes. The pain, the fear, all of it rising as if no time had passed at all. Jasper felt his own heart tighten, forcing a deeper breath into his lungs.
For a moment - a selfish, reckless moment - he wondered if it would be so wrong to use his gift to help. Just a little. Enough to ground him. But before he could get lost in that moral tug-of-war, he felt Søren’s hands grip his shoulders, the closeness and the urgency dragging his attention sharply back.
“She is safe.” Jasper promised, searching for the other man’s eyes even though he hadn’t actually seen Sigrid yet. “No one can hurt her. She’s fine.” His voice stayed low, every word meant to anchor rather than push. “It’s the simulation, remember? We’re here to help the students. Don’t let it feed on you too.”
as awful as the images were — the screeching of metal, the smell of rubber, the sight of himself twenty years earlier like a waxwork hanging in the front seat — they weren’t anything when compared to the fear he felt for his wife. they had been together long enough that there were no secrets between them. it didn’t take much thought for søren to know exactly what sigrid was facing, exactly how traumatic it would be to face her parents again. “you don’t understand,” søren’s voice sounded exhausted, stricken, as he stared at the other. he had relayed the same words to the students he had come across in the simulation before the hallucinations and imagery had turned on him, too. when he had spoken them, had they sounded just as empty ? just as hopeless ? how could he fight the simulation when it was all around them, leeching him of energy and forcing him to his knees ? “she needs me. i can’t leave her in here. i have to find her. i’m the reason she’s in this mess.” wherever sigrid went, søren was never far behind. it seemed that the same could be said for his wife. he hadn’t expected her to follow, hadn’t wanted her to follow, but she had. now they were both lost, hurtling through a horror show of their worst nightmares on a loop. he let out a shaky sigh, focusing on the voice of the other until the panic had subsided just enough. then, “will you help me look for her ? ”
"Look at you!" Lyndsy exclaimed, hands flung out at her. "You're wearing sunglasses indoors!" She laughed and returned to her coffee, regretting raising the volume of her voice. "Obviously, I would never let you make a single bad decision on your own, but I could really do without the pounding in my head the next morning. Do you think there's a superpower for fighting off hangovers?"
ivelisse whistled through her teeth. she had experimented with many hangover cures over her years — the last months before coming to vanguardia had not been easy on her, and she had needed something to nurse the pain — but she had never heard of such a power. “that’s pretty niche, right ? ” they snorted, “maybe somebody out there has headache curing or something like that. i suppose you could get one of those light summoners to dim the sun for a while. maybe we should put together a team, like the avengers but for rough mornings.”
ryan had been primed to protest ivelisse's claims of being 'quiet as a mouse' when they flashed that grin. of course. ryan shook his head, making a show of disapproving of her cheating with her power, but in reality, he was poorly fighting off a smile. "you make it quite difficult to argue with you, you know that? by all means, keep the volume up - i've read this a hundred times before." ryan flipped the book around, cracked spine on full display, to show mary shelley's 'frankenstein'. "fun might not be the best word, but i'm enjoying myself. company and all, i suppose. are you reading anything currently?"
what use was having a power if she couldn't use it ? and, if not for good, why couldn't ivelisse use it for a bit of comic relief ? her smile only widened as she watched ryan, and she tilted her head and hummed in a smug sort of pride. “i make it impossible to argue with me. i'm so glad you noticed.” they tilted their head, pursing their lips, reading the spine of the book with an approving nod. “i think that's fun. fun in the sense that mary shelley was a genius and absolutely deserves her flowers. there's fun parts in every book, right ? otherwise why would you read them.” ivelisse raised her shoulders to her ears and cast her eyes to the sky. “i'm re - reading dracula. poetic, isn't it ? that we're reading about two of the greatest monsters ever created ? ”
phoebe let out a delighted laugh, just imagining them whispering at the back of the class, undoubtedly the coolest kids there. søren was such a welcomed sight at the start of a new year, and a dear friend. it simply wouldn't be the same without him, or sigrid. "i think a little slacking off, a little troublemaking perhaps, would do us good. we'd have fun, respectfully. and then leave nothing but five-star reviews across the board for her class! i can attest that we are all rather dazzling in our element." science, to put it so simply, wasn't really phoebe's greatest interest, but she did enjoy performance. charisma. the way one's eyes would light up in the middle of a seemingly rousing lecture - that she could appreciate from anyone. "ah, yes, that is fair. i'm sure you'll unearth them. i mean, you know how it is with certain powers... some students are simply so curious over how they work - how they work. i'm sure you'll have more than a few interesting additions, along with some old favourites."
he had all the time in the world to ' slack off ' , and so the idea didn't seem all that crazy. as much as søren joked about being offended, about having empty classes, about scrabbling around at orientation attempting to convince students to take a chance on him, he wouldn't change it. medicine was all that he was, both in body and in mind. even if he had one student per year, he would turn up to each and every class with the same enthusiasm as if he was teaching to an entire auditorium. “my long suffering wife has put up with my troublemaking for two decades. i think it might drive her over the edge if she had to teach me. i'm sure she'd love to have you on board, though.” it was so easy to forget that phoebe was the deputy dean, so high up in their ranks and with such sway upon the runnings of vanguardia. to søren, she would always and forever be a good friend. “there's nothing else i would rather teach. medicine is all that i am. there's nothing else i'm good at, unless i started teaching a class on the history of ABBA.” he couldn't help but chuckle. “what about you ? what else would you teach, if you could ? ”
ale let the other’s voice wash over her, and it was the kind of warmth that cut through the gnawing at her skull. it was hard to listen with the world folding in on itself, but she forced herself to hold on. forced her mind to anchor itself to something tangible, something human. the way ive’s face softened when they spoke, the flicker of joy in her eyes that almost, almost masked the ache underneath. “ that sounds like the most fun day, ” she murmured, lips curling into the smallest, most honest smile she’s managed since this hell began. “ i’ve never gone to a wedding, but i think a celebration for love is always a great thing, no matter how big or small they may be. ” though she didn’t usually let herself imagine things like that. she was good at organizing, at fixing, at rebuilding herself from the same debris over and over. love, though … that was a whole different battlefield. messy, complicated, and attached to a kind of vulnerability that she hasn’t let herself reach. and yet lately, she’d found herself thinking about it more than she’d like to admit. not the whole marriage and family picture, but the way it must feel to let someone see you, really see you, and not pull away. the idea was terrifying. intoxicating. the hum around them surged, sharp enough to make her flinch. colors blurred, floor tilting just slightly beneath her. she blinked fast, jaw tightening, refusing to let the vertigo win. “ i’ve never really been in love, ” she admitted, an attempt to continue distracting the both of them from the chaos. “ but … i think i’m starting to like someone. maybe. and i’m not sure if it’s a good idea. ” she let out a nervous laugh, breath catching halfway through. “ you know how it is. shit can get unpredictable, and i don’t particularly like not knowing how things are gonna go. ” the noise crackled louder, like the world itself was holding its breath. she glanced toward ivelisse, eyes catching in the glitching light. “ what about you ? have you ever been in love ? ” she asked, the question gentler than it had any right to be. maybe because she needed to hear someone else talk about it ⎯⎯ to remind herself that love didn’t always end in wreckage. or maybe it does, but it could be worth it.
ivelisse wondered whether it was easier for someone who had always known that they were different, that they were special. back when she was at her happiest, there had been nothing amiss — she was normal, a good girl that went to church and understood right from wrong. there had never been any inkling that she was gifted, and that was good enough for her — since hearing her scream for the first time, that sonic wave of power, everything she had once known had been turned on its head. their entire life was tilted. “it was beautiful. really,” she added, and with the comment her eyes glistened. there was a pain somewhere deep in her chest, an almost rotting … her nightmare might not have been filled with fire and carnage and chaos but, god, did it burn just as harshly. “a wedding for the scrapbooks.” the world jolted around them, but so long as they kept talking nothing could touch them. it seemed the danger was behind a transparent sheet ; close enough to feel, but far enough away to know that they were safe. at the very least, they were safer together. with a tilt of her head and a twist of ivelisse’s lip, she smiled. the fondness in her gaze grew brighter, and she laughed — just slightly, just enough — at the prospect of her friend finally falling for someone. “oh, it never feels like a good idea,” they replied, “but sometimes those butterflies are just the things that convince you that it’s right. that nervousness in your tummy, you know ? like when you’re going into an exam.” the simulation around them shifted in a half - second. if they blinked they would have missed it, the jolt and the way that every outline flashed technicolor. they were winning. they just had to keep talking. it was then that their smile faltered, but ivelisse took a deep breath and tucked a thick, dark coil of hair behind her ear. “i have been. that was … that was what the simulation showed me. my fiancé. oh, well, ex - fiancé … ” her gaze fell to her hands, fingertips playing with fingertips in an idle motion. “we were so deeply in love it was almost sickening. we were planning our lives together. he was perfect, but … but i guess i wasn’t perfect for him. he wanted someone else, so i ran away. i don’t even know if he’s still out there somewhere. i don’t know what happened after that.”
sigrid wished the voices would go away. she'd been walking for what felt like hours , escaping her childhood home the moment her mum began yelling. as she'd exited through the front door she immediately ended up on a highway. her mother's voice was still shouting in her ears , telling her to calm down and not bring everyone else into her madness. it didn't matter how far she walked. she was still right there , living within sigrid no matter where in the world she was. a small figure appeared in front of her , looking just as lost as sigrid felt. the curls seemed familiar. the flinching whenever a blue car drove by less so. as she began take shape in front of sigrid , sigrid realised who was trying to call her attention. "ivelisse ?" she called out , trying to get close to the girl. "ivelisse , listen to me. something is not right. we have to try and get you out of here."
she sobbed again at the realisation that professor holmström wasn’t a hallucination. when she was near enough to look upon her face fully — dark eyes, raven hair, features that did not shift or change in the light — ivelisse broke into a run and opened her arms to wrap around the teacher’s shoulders. maybe it was against policy, but to hell with protocol. it was protocol that had got them into that mess in the first place. “please. i can’t take it. i feel like i’ve been walking for days,” she whimpered, pulling away and wiping her face with her palms. it was then that she noticed the teacher appeared dishevelled too. weather - beaten and exhausted, both emotionally and physically. it was unusual to see the holmströms apart, but as she squinted into the distance she could not pick out any other shadows. doctor holmström was easy to spot, with his strange walk and his towering figure. “where’s doctor holmström ? ” she asked, reaching out once again to touch sigrid’s arm — an assurance that they were both real. “are you both here, or is it just you ? is this happening to everyone ? ”
josie offers a small smile, a real one. “i don't know… i know they always say that kind of thing, that here we can make a difference, but…” she trails off, trying to find the words. professor holmström had been nothing but kind to her while she had been at vanguardia. she owed him some portion of the truth that lay in her. “i don't know. i guess i've just never thought about what happens after i leave here.” she's looking down at the pointed toes of her heels, taps them together once, like she's a little kid again, sitting on a bench outside waiting for her parents to come out from a party. back then, the whole world once felt like it was splayed out before her, like ripened fruit that dangled within reach. now it seemed like only one path remained, an apple already plucked before she could take it herself, buds of what could have been fallen to the dirt at her feet. and yet, his words echo in her brain again. you could do a lot of good with that. did he see a path that she didn't? “i'll probably take you up on that.” she meant it. his gentle invitation held more weight than she could convey, but she hoped that he understood. “thank you, professor.”
søren had once felt the same. he had once wondered, when studying back in vanguardia all those years ago, whether a life outside of it existed for him. the doctor had always preferred the idea of laying low, of living a life where his powers were on the backburner, and for a long time he was able to do exactly that — the life he had once doubted would mean anything at all brought him a beautiful wife, an incredible daughter, and twenty happy years despite the bumps along the way. it was easy to say, as someone who had used up all that his youth had to offer, but as jane spoke he cast soft eyes upon her and steadily nodded. “it’s terrifying going out into the real world. i won’t sit here and tell you it’s not,” he assured, “but i can tell you that taking that step out into the fire is always worth it. it’s comfortable here, safe, but the real living starts when you walk out of those gates for the last time.” for søren, he had returned like a boomerang finding the hand that threw it. the least he could do was offer kindness to the students, something that he had ached for but had never truly known when he had been a pupil. he pressed his hands against his thighs and stood with a slight grunt. “you’re always welcome. i’ll let you enjoy some peace. come and find me whenever you need. you can tell me all your worries, or i can just make you a cup of tea and we can sit for a while. take care, jane.” and with that, he moved with an uneven gait back towards the festivities.
⋆ ㅤ ㅤ⸻ ㅤ 𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑 ; @vanguardiastarters .
plot drop #01 ; for everybody .
One deep, steady breath. Was that enough to call this a considered choice, or merely the illusion of one? Joining the simulation had been a half-formed impulse, yet Jasper stepped into it all the same. In that, he found himself unexpectedly aligned with the children trapped inside the exercise: afraid. Their fear clung to the past; his, to what might come. He feared the moment someone would lose control. When a gift, so easily lauded, would bare its teeth and become a curse. Even training failed when unpredictability reigned. No one could truly be prepared for every possibility. To pretend otherwise was naive, almost laughable.
And now he wandered the contours of someone else’s nightmare. Their shadows, their wounds. Yet a strange familiarity threaded through it. The way the dark pressed inward, the way it all tasted metallic and bitter. A memory, almost... But not his. He pressed on regardless, turning a corner where the light stalled. To find someone, beside himself, huddled within that fear-built labyrinth brought relief at first, then a quiet ache.
“Hey!” Jasper’s voice cut through the dream-fog, firm and clear enough to anchor. He remained several paces away, careful not to crowd. “If you’ve ignored everything I’ve ever tried to say to you, then listen to me now.” His tone sharpened, urgency threading through restraint. “This isn’t real. You know it isn’t. You must gather yourself, or it will swallow you whole.”
søren had been one of the first professors to dive into the simulation, and he had known exactly what was awaiting him within the pod. it was a dark road, somewhere suspended in time, and there was not a single other car on the tarmac around him. instead, the suffocating chemical stench of spilled petrol. rubber burns on the ground took him to the overturned car that, if he had not known it was there, could have just as easily disappeared into the undergrowth. no wonder it had taken so long for him to be found. no wonder he had been beyond saying by the time he had been cut from the vehicle and transported to the very hospital he had once worked at. inside the car, he saw himself. twenty years had fallen away, and yet as søren stared at the young man in the driver’s seat — blonde haired, without a single wrinkle or blemish, with teeth that were straight and unshifted and a power and intelligence that was yet to be explored — he was pulled right back to that day. a wife at home. their daughter on the way. they had been so close to losing everything … … and then he heard the voice. “i can’t look away,” his voice broke, and the scandinavian chill in the air brought his accent back in full force. an irregular cadence, a postcard from the home they had left behind. malmö had given him so much — a wife, a family, a job that he had once adored — but, god, had it taken. as he opened his mouth to speak again, thoughts of sigrid clouded his plagued mind. in an instant, she was the only person in the world. “i need to get to my wife,” søren whirled and ran towards jasper, taking him by the shoulders. “have you seen sigrid ? ”
her head was still spinning, stomach clawing at itself in protest. it didn’t make sense ⎯⎯ none of it did. the simulation wasn’t supposed to hurt like this. it wasn’t supposed to crawl under her skin, burrow deep into her nerves, make her feel like her whole system’s been fried. and yet, here she was, shaking, nauseous, the taste of bile and turbulence sharing space on her tongue. the edges of the world still hummed, flickering faintly like a dying screen, but somewhere in all that noise was ivelisse’s voice cutting through the chaos like a hand reaching through smoke. she forced herself to breathe, to swallow down the acid making its way up her throat. one step at a time, they’d said. she could do that. maybe. “ the best day of my life, ” she repeated, then took a few more trembling breaths. a few seconds passed before the answer came. “ probably when i got brisa. ” her chest loosened a little just saying the name. she closed her eyes, and for a moment, the air smelled less like fumes and more like rain. “ freshman year. i’d just flunked my first martial conditioning practical. completely froze. first time i ever failed anything. it went so bad that i ended up dropping the course by the end of it and didn’t show up to the rest of my classes. i snuck out, it was pouring. i was mad at myself, the world, everything. then i saw her, this tiny gatita hiding near a drainage, shivering and soaked and looking at me like i was the savior she’s long been waiting for. ” ale huffed out a small, shaky laugh, the corner of her mouth twitching into something faintly resembling a smile. “ she fit perfectly in my jacket pocket. meowed the entire walk back to the dorms. i wasn’t supposed to keep her — especially inside school grounds — but i’ve been sneaking her in for the past two and a half years now. ” she tilted her head toward ivelisse, eyes still glassy but calmer, the ghost of humor threading through her exhaustion. “ so you can’t tell anyone, okay ? she’s got tenure at this point. ” her voice faltered at the end, not because of fear ⎯⎯ but because she suddenly realized how real the moment felt. talking about brisa, about something small and soft and alive, in a place that seemingly kept pulling her into death. she exhaled, letting her forehead fall against her knees. then the grass beneath her feet flickered into the cold, metallic floor of an airplane, then cracked open into asphalt, the faint hum of tires skidding past her ears before it all dissolved back into green. over and over, their environment kept changing, cycling through realities like a broken reel. every shift came with a burst of static, the distortion crawling closer, louder, until it was all they could hear. “ mierda— ” she winced, eyes squeezing shut, but even through the chaos, she turned her head toward ivelisse. “ your turn, ” she said, forcing the words out through gritted teeth. “ tell me something good. ”
“the best day of your life,” ivelisse repeated through tears. they stung the corners of her eyes, tracked wet black marks down her cheeks, but she focused on her friend throughout it all. the world around them shook and twisted and warped, but alejandra was real — she was squishy and warm and ivelisse was sure that she wasn’t some nightmarish hallucination. slowly, her expression relaxed and her body stilled its shaking. “what a sweet thing. we all need a brisa, don’t we ? someone to rely on, someone that’s always there no matter what.” ivelisse had her own brisa, once, but instead of fluffy and desperate for treats he had scooped them up in his strong arms and made her feel as though she shone brighter than the sun. no more. since she left home, ran away from the life she had planned for herself, it had been ivelisse against the world. maybe that was how it should have always been. maybe it was finally time for her to fight for herself, to carve a place in the world that wasn’t as a sister or a girlfriend as a wife — somewhere that was just for them. having an animal had been part of that picket-fence dream. ivelisse had thought that maybe they would get a dog, or a cat, or a couple of horses to roam the wide plot of land her and her husband would settle on. but now she was without anything — or anyone — to warm the cold side of the bed. the floor beneath them shuddered, and they closed their eyes tight for a long minute to recentre themself. then, “if you’ve got away with sneaking her in for that long, surely she has squatters rights. they couldn’t kick her out if they tried ! ” the world around them was like a flickering roll of film. a main road full of teal cars. the inside of an aircraft. teal cars. aircraft. she felt dizzy with it, sick, but the edges were starting to fray and, slowly, they felt as though reality wasn’t so far from them at all. “my turn … ” they took a deep breath in, steeled against the unsteadiness of the ground. “it has to be my sister’s wedding. my older sister,” there we plenty other huitzil - ximenez children ; ivelisse was somewhere in the middle, but even so her mother would usually call her by the names of one of her sisters and sometimes even her brothers. “she looked so beautiful. the most beautiful white mermaid dress. it trailed so far back it was almost impossible not to step on it ! ” as the noise grew deafening around them ivelisse twitched, scrunched her nose, willed it to stop — but it seemed that her usual ability of dulling the noise or shutting her ears off for a while was dampened by whatever hell surrounded them. instead she thought of her sister, and reached out her hand for ale to take. “there were mariachis and we partied all night long. it made me excited for my turn.” one day. she had once thought it would be one day soon. now ivelisse had no idea when, or if, she would find love again. perhaps that was the real nightmare, lying dormant outside of the simulation all that time.
「 ✴ 」 STATUS ﹕ closed .
「 ✴ 」 LOCATION ﹕ plot drop, within the simulation .
「 ✴ 」 WITH ﹕ @endincredits !
ivelisse was pinned like a fly in a spider’s web. her legs trembled, their lips quivered as she stared at the one man that she had dreamt about every night since they last saw each other. despite their familiarity with her exes features, the slope of his nose and the almost blackness of his eyes, this was different. almost uncanny. in her heart she knew the man breathing against her was not canyon but something darker, more evil, and yet somehow he was triple as terrifying. whatever the simulation had dissolved into was a living nightmare. the edges of her deranged hallucination glittered. fear rose in her chest, up into her throat … and then she was deafened by a sound that came from her and her alone. a scream that shattered everything, that had canyon — or the demon within his body — exploding into shards of technicolor glass. when ivelisse hit the ground they were somewhere new, and her fingers curled against the floor before she raised her eyes to look. an unfamiliar nightmare, but a nightmare all the same … and for the first time she wasn’t alone in the horrors. she recognized someone real, someone that was flesh and blood. jane. “hey ! ” their voice cracked as they said it, and despite their knees trembling ivelisse forced herself to stand. “jane ! hey ! it’s me ! i’m not one of … one of those things. it’s really ive. what the fuck is going on in here? ”
the shouting never stopped. her gaze was placed on a spot on the carpet as she cried , wishing for the hundredth time that her husband was there. sigrid had seen søren disappear into the simulations — knew what was waiting for him on the other side , if the nightmares playing out on screen was any indication. at first sigrid had been torn. was she best suited to guide her husband through the minefield of bad memories from the outside , or did he need her in there. sigrid had an inkling of what might happen if she tainted the simulation further with her own memories. but there was a crash coming and sigrid couldn't let søren go through it alone all over again. she was standing in the middle of the road , she knew it well , and ever since his accident she'd preferred to take the long way home instead of the one that still had her husband's blood seeped into the pavement. she began running , toward the accident that had changed the trajectory of søren's life forever. "sigrid , where do you think you're running off to ?" the voice stopped her dead in her tracks , and the road disappeared. with a deep breath sigrid turned around and faced her mother's disapproving glare. "it's nine pm , sigrid. you know better." her body was shrinking , as it always did when her mother got like this. her shoulders hunched and every fibre of her being seemed to diminish into nothingness. the constant verbal abuse always turned her numb and emptied every emotion out of her until she was an empty shell. she kept staring at the ground , wiping away angry tears as they spilled down her cheeks. it's not real. søren seemed so convincing. even when he was as much a figment of her imagination as they were. "leave me alone ," she whispered , hiding further into herself. "please , just go away."
“sigrid,” his voice was sterner the second time, dropping the pet names that so often replaced those they had promised themselves to all those years ago. usually they addressed each other with lovey - dovey, almost sickening phrases, but søren needed her to hear him. he needed to get through by any means necessary. both hands pressed against the tarmac and he grunted as he tried to prise himself away from the ground ; it was as though he was shackled to it, as if he was feeling the pain anew, as if he was still carrying broken flesh and bone. of course they had spoken of her upbringing. it had been a burning topic back when søren first brought up the prospect of marriage. despite his terrible confessions of love in broken mandarin and a doctor's salary to support the two of them, it had never been enough for sigrid's parents. over the years, and the more he learned, søren came to understand that nothing was good enough for sigrid's parents. not even their own daughter. another grunt. he forced himself across the tarmac, gripping onto the hard concrete and willing himself to fight back. it was pain he knew, and although he could feel eyes on his back søren gathered what little strength he had to force himself back to his feet. with every step the carbon fiber of his prosthetic became heavier and heavier. by the time he had pushed through the agony into reaching distance of his wife, it felt as though he was dragging ten tons along with him. he blocked her view with his body, took her face in his hands. “jag älskar dig av hela mitt hjärta,” søren pressed their lips together slowly, softly, “you don't need to listen to them. you are perfect. you are beautiful, and smart, and kind, and we need to get as many students as we can and then get out of here. are you hearing me, sötnos ? i'm right here. it's just me and you. we have to go.”
alejandra’s body moved before her mind could catch up. one moment she was back in that sky — metal screeching, wind clawing at the fuselage, her eight year old self screaming bloody murder — and the next, someone collided into her, shattering the illusion like glass under pressure. the familiar weight of another body pulled her back just enough for the world to tilt back into something almost real. air returned to her lungs in a violent gasp, trembling hands rising to cover her face as hot tears leaked through the cracks of her fingers. the simulation was fracturing again, static bleeding through the edges of the scene. her parents were gone. even her younger self was gone. all that remained was the empty shell of a falling plane, plummeting faster and faster as if eager to meet the ground. “ i have no fucking idea … ” she managed, heart still pounding against her ribcage. “ but i think i just relived the worst day of my life ! ” the floor lurched viciously beneath them, the aircraft shrieking in protest. instinct took over and she grabbed ivelisse’s arm, pulling them toward the nearest shattered window. the next thing she knew they were out, the atmosphere bending to her desperate will. wind whipped around them as she forced her power to hold, to keep them suspended above the chaos. then — another flicker, another glitch — and the sky gave way to earth. they landed hard, the world stabilizing around them into something still but unbearably bright. ale stumbled forward, knees giving out as she clutched her stomach. everything was spinning. the panic, the grief, the fall … all tangled inside her until she could barely tell which ache came from where. “ i’m gonna need a minute, ” she breathed out, pressing a shaking hand to her mouth as she dropped down on the ground. “ i think i’m gonna puke. ”
her face softened. ivelisse hadn’t had the chance to form many friends when she was younger, not outside of her siblings, but as she looked upon alejandra’s expression of despair she felt a twinge in her heart that made her stay. “me too ! ” the words came as a gasp, ripping from their mouth as the floor twisted. it was as though they were on some sort of carnival ride with the brakes cut, hurtling towards a danger that they couldn’t escape from. so long as they were together they would be okay, or at least that was what ivelisse had hoped — as the floor shuddered beneath them she was becoming less and less convinced by her own wishes. when they hit the ground they separated, and ivelisse pressed a hand against her head and groaned at the aftershocks. it was as though she was spinning. it was as though she had seen those text messages all over again, and had her heart torn out anew. a prickliness stung the insides of her nostrils. when they blinked, ivelisse realized that she was crying — hot streams of tears down her cheeks that disappeared between her lips and had them tasting salt. it was then that ive heard voices. distant and distorted but familiar. they lifted their head towards the noise, crawling closer to alejandra and finding her hand. “we’re going to get out of here,” she promised, “we just need to make it through. take it one step at a time.” honestly they wouldn’t have been surprised if ale had puked, but she hoped the floor — the strange, spectral, vibrating floor — would remain free of upchuck. “tell me … tell me something good. something nice. if that was the worst day of your life, what was the best ? ”
「 ✴ 」 STATUS ﹕ closed .
「 ✴ 」 LOCATION ﹕ plot drop, within the simulation .
「 ✴ 」 WITH ﹕ @ofcurrents !
this wasn't how simulations were usually meant to go. god, what would professor holmström think if she knew that this was how ivelisse responded to a true crisis ? usual drills were straightforward — they were cakewalks, and now that she was in her second year it wasn't tricky to identify exactly what the teachers wanted to see from their pupils. never before had she been plunged into a nightmare of her own making. for what seemed like hours she had been walking along the thoroughfare ; every car that passed her by was a teal blue pickup truck, and every driver was a more and more distorted depiction of her ex boyfriend. canyon would drive by with four eyes, with two heads, with his features mixed together like a paint palette ... each manifestation was more terrifying, more dark and twisted, and the further she walked down the endless tarmac highway the more she fell apart. but then she saw her. the dark haired professor that had become one of her favorites over the years. sigrid holmström was blunt but kind, she put her students to work but ivelisse knew it was all for the best. in the moment, she was overjoyed to see a familiar face that wasn’t spiraling into horror. “professor,” she squeaked from the roadside, squinting at the unsteady border between her and sigrid. “what’s happening ? ”
Andrea Chaparro via Instagram, 09/11/2024.
