EVIL Evil Wild

Abandoned side blog! Moved to @evilevilwild

[p-chanx]

I look away for one minute and they double, and thus so will my fear

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

I’m going to evilly hold your hand as I say this.

[abbycrashing]

Me: [takes a break from a short Wild comic I'm working on, and opens Tumblr]

@evil-wild : [follows me]

Me: ...Oh no

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

>:)

[evilevilwild-abandoned]

it burns and im tired

[literal-legend-rabbit]

..do you want a potion? a nap?

[evilevilwild-abandoned]

anything. i dont care what it is as long as it helps.

[literal-legend-rabbit]

here, *hands you a red potion*, that should help with the burning

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

okay. thanks. im not paying for it though.

[literal-legend-rabbit]

wasn't expecting you to

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

…thanks. Really.

[the-real-lu-warriors]

The way you speak is funny. I mean this in the most EVILLY affectionate way possible.

- @evilevilwild

I thank thee! I try my best to be comedic

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

And comedic you are. Almost- if not exactly, definitely, surely, most obviously- like a clown.

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

What EVIL animal do you Goodies fear the least.

[zelda-flora]

Does it have to be an Evil animal? Because, if not, I’d say that I fear fish the least!

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

Fish isn’t an EVIL animal.

[zelda-flora]

But, it is an animal.

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

…no it’s not.

[zelda-flora]

It is. It very much is.

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

I mean Liek. An animal animal. You know?

[zelda-flora]

You mean a mammal?

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

Mammal?

[zelda-flora]

A mammal is an animal that produces milk to feed their young. And while most are furries- some mammals aren’t, like whales and dolphins: who don’t have any fur! 😊

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

Okay. Do wolves count as a mammal?

[not-so-bad-astor]

Now that everyone is evil, I can finally enact my totally not evil plan. Anyone want tea while I Ponder my Orb?

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

I want tea. I yearn for tea. I yearn for tea. Is it evil tea. ?

[not-so-bad-astor]

Oh you. I remember you. I believe the tea is not evil enough for you.

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

Wh. ???? What do you mean you remember me. I’m pretty extremely definitely evilly surely sure that this is our. First interaction.

[not-so-bad-astor]

Hmm.. Perhaps I saw a different variation of you, my Orb does not differentiate between time and possible timelines. I apologize, Evil Hero of Wild.

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

Maybe you saw one of the younger Evil Wilds. I’m EVIL EVIL Wild. To clarify.

Your apology has been evilly accepted. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s okay. Also. Orb?

[not-so-bad-astor]

The Orb is a nickname I gave to my armillary sphere , it's how I can look into the future, past and present. Though I am curious, have you met other versions of yourself?

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

The Orb sounds marvelous. Evilly marvelous, if you will. I love your Orb.

Yes, I have met EVIL wild. Tried to give him an evil soggy raisin cookie, but he was appalled by it being wet and I had to hide my shame and pretend the cookies were soggy because of an accident. :(

[not-so-bad-astor]

Now that everyone is evil, I can finally enact my totally not evil plan. Anyone want tea while I Ponder my Orb?

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

I want tea. I yearn for tea. I yearn for tea. Is it evil tea. ?

[not-so-bad-astor]

Oh you. I remember you. I believe the tea is not evil enough for you.

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

Wh. ???? What do you mean you remember me. I’m pretty extremely definitely evilly surely sure that this is our. First interaction.

[not-so-bad-astor]

Hmm.. Perhaps I saw a different variation of you, my Orb does not differentiate between time and possible timelines. I apologize, Evil Hero of Wild.

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

Maybe you saw one of the younger Evil Wilds. I’m EVIL EVIL Wild. To clarify.

Your apology has been evilly accepted. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s okay. Also. Orb?

[shadow-but-bright]

I’m throwing away this sheikah device I found in my parental units storage room, it’s clearly completely useless. I am also going to cut it up with my massive sword, because it is useless.

Free sheikah device parts available!!! I don’t know what they do but they’re probably worth something!!! (^^❀*

[evilevilwild-abandoned]

HI. HELLO. I VOLUNTEERR. I VOLUNTER. HI. I NEED THOSE SHEIKAH PARTS. HELLO. HEYO. HAI. HI. HEY. !!!!!!! HI.

[shadow-but-bright]

Well, I did kind of give them over to @literal-legend-rabbit, so you’ll have to ask him!! Sorry!!

[evilevilwild-abandoned]

Why is he everywhere. Okay. Yea. Sure. Thank you for redirecting me evil…shadow? Wait, wh????? I. Why are you bright? Do my eyes deceive me?

[shadow-but-bright]

I ensure you I am very evil, my brightness and vague associations with the light and sun aside!! I’m practically the most evil bright around!!!

If you question me you can ask questions to my manager instead, or as I like to call her, my Massive Fucking Sword. Thanks!!!

[evilevilwild-abandoned]

…Okay. I’ll take your evil word for it. EVIL BRIGHT shadow. Congrats on being the first EVIL BRIGHT I have ever seen with my own two near-sighted and evil eyes.

Also. Don’t threaten me. I won’t hesitate to pull out the big guns. Okay? Okay.

[shadow-but-bright]

Of course!!! I love being a contradicting statement. It makes people overthink things!!

I threaten whoever I want, and you don’t exactly have the advantage of being able to disperse yourself into the light now, do you?? (^^❀*

[evilevilwild-abandoned]

That’s evil. Never stop.

I dislike you greatly. Maybe you should have stayed with the Goodies. Possibly. Perchance. They probably like you because of your association with Light anyways.

Unfortunately good talk.

[shadow-but-bright]

I think I’m going to add you to my ‘should steal money from’ list. Thanks for the contribution!!

[evilevilwild-abandoned]

I don’t have money.

[shadow-but-bright]

Then I’ll make you go into debt.

[evilevilwild-abandoned]

How.

[shadow-but-bright]

Magic.

[evilevilwild-abandoned]

Elaborate before I pull out not-so-evil flora.

[shadow-but-bright]

I don’t think I will!!! Suffer in your involuntary ignorance!!

[evilevilwild-abandoned]

@zelda-flora can you interrogate this guy.

[shadow-but-bright]

I am already being interrogated by her, I believe!! I contacted her before you even have the chance!!!

That is oddly convenient!!

[evilevilwild-abandoned]

I manifested it.

[shadow-but-bright]

You manifested all shit.

[evilevilwild-abandoned]

I am evilly flattered.

[shadow-but-bright]

You’re welcome.

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

Evilly.

[shadow-but-bright]

Yes, of course, You’re evilly welcome.

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

But of course.

[not-so-bad-astor]

Now that everyone is evil, I can finally enact my totally not evil plan. Anyone want tea while I Ponder my Orb?

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

I want tea. I yearn for tea. I yearn for tea. Is it evil tea. ?

[not-so-bad-astor]

Oh you. I remember you. I believe the tea is not evil enough for you.

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

Wh. ???? What do you mean you remember me. I’m pretty extremely definitely evilly surely sure that this is our. First interaction.

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

What EVIL animal do you Goodies fear the least.

[zelda-flora]

Does it have to be an Evil animal? Because, if not, I’d say that I fear fish the least!

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

Fish isn’t an EVIL animal.

[zelda-flora]

But, it is an animal.

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

…no it’s not.

[zelda-flora]

It is. It very much is.

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

I mean Liek. An animal animal. You know?

[zelda-flora]

You mean a mammal?

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

Mammal?

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

What EVIL animal do you Goodies fear the least.

[zelda-flora]

Does it have to be an Evil animal? Because, if not, I’d say that I fear fish the least!

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

Fish isn’t an EVIL animal.

[zelda-flora]

But, it is an animal.

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

…no it’s not.

[zelda-flora]

It is. It very much is.

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

I mean Liek. An animal animal. You know?

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

What EVIL animal do you Goodies fear the least.

[zelda-flora]

Does it have to be an Evil animal? Because, if not, I’d say that I fear fish the least!

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

Fish isn’t an EVIL animal.

[zelda-flora]

But, it is an animal.

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

…no it’s not.

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

What EVIL animal do you Goodies fear the least.

[zelda-flora]

Does it have to be an Evil animal? Because, if not, I’d say that I fear fish the least!

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

Fish isn’t an EVIL animal.

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

What EVIL animal do you Goodies fear the least.

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

I hate cooking.

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

I was gonna ask someone something. But I forgot.

[sprite-and-the-bunnydragons]

I love how at the start of the evil lu takeover, there was mass panic while the evils were just sorta … vibing

And then the light rp blogs came along, attempted to fight them, and somehow wound up befriending and domesticating the evils

[the-real-lu-wind]

the evils are bad

usually

although sometimes they offer me cookies so then they’re good

[evilevilwild-abandoned2]

We’re not bad, we’re EVIL bad. We’re never good. You will join us too, one day. One day, when the temptation becomes too strong. Until then…

[You got thrown a soggy raisin cookie! It’s unnaturally cold.]

>:)