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ig bodysoulfleshblood ♊️ badghoultiti.bigcartel.com

[bettedavisgf]

i love it when cats wake up from a nap and come to find you they’re like ummmm i was just thinking about this and we need to cuddle

[evilspice]

This video needs to be preserved and inducted into a library for cultural and historic importance

[evilspice]

When I google a film I'm curious to watch and see it has a 6.something rating on imdb I'm like "oh... hmmm. but also what does the general public know, let's check the letterboxd rating." And also two of my all time favourite films forever and ever are rated 5.3 (Showgirls) and 3.8 (Spice World) on imdb, Spice World being 3.8 is always batshit insane to me cuz it's literally literally genuinely completely amazing like it really blows my mind.. 3.8 is CRAZY. Also ugly betty is rated 6.8, something is seriously severely amiss awry askew and afoot on that website

[evilspice]

These 2 excerpts from the wiki for Jeff's Grace album are so relatable, APOPLECTIC!

"Tears that just won't come out the normal way" is amazing

The concept of Jeff Buckley being regarded as a DIVA thru the magnificence of the album is killing me

And I must completely agree I always thought his hair looked so 80s new wave and the pose gave lounge singer on the cover LOL

[evilspice]

I lurrrve Jeff Buckley but never checked out his dad Tim Buckley's music and I'm only just finding out about their relationship and Tim's death, their paths/fates are so interesting and tragic and poignant jesus, I didn't realise Jeff only met Tim once in his life I always assumed they were close since obvs Jeff also became a highly praised musician. Tim died of a drug overdose when he was 28 and Jeff was 8, Tim died on the 29th of June and Jeff died 29th of May aged 30 (day b4 I was born I might add, also Tim was born on valentine's day) Just thinking how mad it is Tim married and got his high school gf pregnant, subsequently abandoned them and she gave birth to a legendary musician who would be even more succesful than him and he didn't live to see it... Was also reading about Michael Hutchence of INXS's death earlier today, I knew he died young but had no idea it was suicide

[evilspice]

To conclude my mildly manic stream of consciousness posting with a bang I just took a 1am shower and a blood clot came out of me and stayed static in the corner of the floor and it looked fucking EXACTLY like the welsh dragon it was so crazy and my partner is welsh so ofc I'm taking it as a divine sign I shouldn't end our relationship yet #psychosis yes I took pics but I think posting pics of my period blood online like a Rorschach test / tea leaf reading is a bridge too far in all my 15 years of being tmi on tumblr . . .

[evilspice]

I'm fixated on the idea of writing a script (comedic) for a film or tv show, especially a collaborative effort with my friends and particularly my two gemini besties bc not to be conceited but there is absolutely nothing like a gemini vs gemini wit match, just saying the silliest cleverest most out of pocket shit to make the other person laugh or gasp and it's like damn how did I/you even come up with that, as queers in general so many convos end up just riffing like we're on the judging panel of drag race tryna out-pun one another lol.. I wanna sit in on a writer's room so bad like maybe the simpsons in the 90s lol or ugly betty or hacks cuz I love when it gets kinda meta in s4 when there's literally a writer's room

[evilspice]

My new fave thing to do is pretend any man I'm slightly attracted to is just a butch lesbian, it's so fun and it makes them 1000x more attractive I insist you give it a try

[evilspice]

I was SO prepared to finish Hacks without them lmfaooooo but I am kinda p much over the falling out now LOL. My ability to heal and self soothe when I'm alone in my sanctuary (in my bedroom with headphones on)... My total inability to hold a grudge... My capacity for a soul crushing tidal wave of emotional turmoil and the way it simply recedes like the tide.. Is that a mental disorder or enlightenment

[evilspice]

My entire life

[evilspice]

I fucking fucking loooove being alone and I realise as I get older it's such a gift and a blessing to be programmed this way, at least imo.. I'm happiest doing my own thing in seclusion and music is my soulmate lolll, it just feels like I have a lot of freedom being independent and not relying on anyone for emotional fulfillment or validation etc.. (curious how I only post online when I'm alone LOL but anyway) I am I guess ironically really good at socializing and making friends with everyone but deep down I fucking hate being around people lmfaooo my social battery is constantly running on fumes the older I get.. Also just cannot stand being perceived but it's hard to be a wallflower when you're Gem sun Leo rising :P My Pisces moon is powerful as fuck though.. I'm just like destined to become the blair witch or whatever

[thesluts2004]

she is so unbelievably real

[evilspice]

Open wound rant time, I turned 29 on saturday and had a classic petty falling out w my partner last night which dug up all my internal grievances and made me absolutely spiral into a misery vortex train of thought as it always does, when I'm really upset and hurt and angry it makes me physically unable to speak lol it's probably an autism thing like everything is and everybody has now, it's an unhealthy coping mechanism and I shut down trying to protect myself in a sense, then I'm inadverntently/consciously punishing the other party, it's a simultaneous masochistic and sadistic dynamic I find impossible to bring myself out of.. Until enough time passes and the pain of my situation sort of dissipates cuz I can never keep grudges.. My partner's also just really poor at damage control and whiny and once I'm in this mode I'm repulsed by every effort.. Anyway I get this deep burning urge to end my relationship every single time it happens which is like every 3-4 months and every instance it feels like This Is Really The Time I'm Gonna Do It. Obviously not a good foundation lol also I swear I'm not bpd. And I just feel like with the weight of being in the last year of my 20s I need a radical lifestyle change, I need to focus solely on myself and do difficult things that will serve me greatly in the long run, sever my depression bond and take serious strides and efforts to become a tattoo artist and have a career and just stop being complacently miserable and unambitious and unmotivated even though that's inherently who I am and have been over half my life lol ugh idfk. I'm also on my period and have a chest infection and haven't eaten and cried intermittently on my hour bus home and in the supermarket and on my walk in the rain to my house lol, that brutal physical agony of heartache and depression is crazy. I've been on this precipice so many times before now, but ending my relationship also means losing/damaging/altering my friendships with like 15+ people who live in their city and I only really see via dating my partner and having their house as a base so it's a lottttt but I've been through this mentally so many fkn times and ultimately I am a lone wolf lmfaooo like I am really a hermit and love being alone and always have done unlike 90% of the people I know so I know I'll be fine it's just drama. Hmmmmm maybe this too will pass but being 29 is just putting an extra new spin on it. Forgiveness and the mental ability to let go of the issue and going back to mutual love feels like morphine and I'm like okay, this will never happen again now we can grow and learn from it, but the cycle unfortunately inevitably continues so do I face more pain now so I don't have do deal with this kinda pain in the future or do I give in and take the morphine

[kosmogrl]

learning not to return to places where I miss the past but see no future

[evilspice]

been sooooo overly preoccupied with how I look and how I used to look and who I am and how I'm perceived and how I'd want to be perceived lately like oh the absolute hell of being perceived.. but the delight of being desired.. who am I... depends on the day or the hour. Anyway what are y'all doin? Screwin?

[evilspice]

Bitchy & Diva Moments

[evilspice]

such a fab music vid she looks sooo hot, I'm kinda indifferent to this song cuz it's so overplayed but love this lore