달빛

I cannot live in a world of suffocation; you cannot live in a world of restraint. So leave, recede before even the heart of earth loses its fire.

[evnseoul-blog]

jexnwoo.

CLOSED | @evnseoul

          PARTIES WERE MUCH MORE TEDIOUS than they used to be for the young ceo. there had been a time during his adolescence where he had showed up with the sole purpose of having fun ( and he always did ), but those days were long GONE and inwoo felt constantly locked up in his office now — mentally, that was. it was part of why he was distracted enough to walk straight into a petite figure, immediately snapping him out of his daze. «i’m sorry,» he exclaimed as he twirled around to settle his gaze upon the stranger; only that the eyes he stared into seemed oddly familiar to him. «i — you’re —» he began, awkwardly stumbling on his words. «i’m SORRY, have we met before?»

IT TAKES HER an hour to get bored of the celebrations — well, not bored, per se ( such a comment is a spit on the organizer’s efforts, which were more than adequate ). she wanders among the dark corners, sashaying here and there in a gown that, in normal, mask-less circumstances, she wouldn’t normally wear. her mind is absent enough for her to walk into someone, and she figures the same goes for the man — that voice. eunseo’s eyes immediately shoot up to look at the other’s, and memories flood her ( the thrumming of the bass, colored lights, empty bottles of alcohol, and most of all drunken, languid kisses on lips, neck — ). “ no, it’s okay, i — ” eunseo searches in his gaze for a name, because surely she ought to remember someone like him. “ i do think we’ve met before. ”

[evnseoul-blog]

jamieisms.

@evnseoul !!

STRUGGLING TO SECURE the fabric around their neck, the dancer sighed in defeat. they normally would wear something more expensive yet casual and less.. formal. JAMIE would’ve settled for anything gucci, really, but tonight was not the time. if they were to try and impress eunseo’s relatives the least they could do was look presentable. and how they were supposed to do that without even knowing the basics of tying a tie was beyond them. turning to look at her with a pitiful expression, they gave her the best pout they could muster while gesturing to the article of clothing. “help?”

EUNSEO TRIES TO fix a pin to her hair. whatever god would know she is unskilled the physics of hair styling, so after a couple of tries she just lets her hair fall in tumbles down her back. in the mirror, she sees jamie struggling to put on his tie, and moments later she hears his cry for help. she smooths down the skirt of her paolo sebastian dress and goes to jamie’s aid. even though eunseo isn’t talking much, she’s grateful for the favor he’s providing. “ you do it like this — pay attention so you can do it on your own next time this happens, ” she says, focusing on his tie. it takes her a while, because she’s only ever fixed her father’s tie — once, as a child, all innocent and resentless. “ are you nervous? you are meeting the entire clan. ”

[evnseoul-blog]

[ starter call ] i rly need to get more threads going w/ eunseo!! so hit that heart if you’d like me to write a closed starter specifically for your muse!! if u have more than one ‘n would like to specify, go do it my man and oh!! if we already have a thread going u can still like this!! multiple threads are a fave

[evnseoul-blog]

wowoosung.

Woosung at the very least has a little bit of guilt that he smiles sheepishly at her. “I slept…” He mumbled not adding the part about not knowing when the last time he got a full amount of sleep was. Woosung follows her into the kitchen. “Your third attempt? Here’s hoping I don’t die from food poisoning.” He joked. He took the bowl from her hands and took it with him to the kitchen table. “Thanks for this.” He told her before taking a bite. “Okay, this is really good.” He praised her and soon thereafter began to eat some more. He noticed her yawning out of the corner of his eyes and sighed. “Eunseo, excuse my manners but you look like shit. When was the last time you slept?”

SHE SHOOTS HIM a glare, but drops it immediately after and just leans back against the counter. “ before the tournament, i think? that was... a day and a half ago? maybe more; i don’t remember anymore. ” eunseo attempts to diffuse the gravity of her sleep deprivation with a laugh, but since she’s so drained of any worthwhile energy, it becomes a half-assed attempt. “ i’m sorry, woosung. can i — is there anywhere here where i could lie down for a few hours? ” eunseo doesn’t look at him as she asks; rather she points her gaze outside the window, where the sky was lightening with the dawn of a new day.

[evnseoul-blog]

prmljinhyuk.

@evnseoul

HIS ROOM was his sanctuary, no one was allowed to enter it - only fred and that was only because she cried if she wasn’t let in. his room was the only room in his penthouse that had pictures of his sisters, his prized skull, and it was the only room that could say she spent the night in more than anyone else. it showed how special eunseo was to him and just how deeply he cared for her, even if she showed that by pushing her away sometimes. he stood before his vanity, still nude from the previous night’s (all night) activities with her, turning when he heard slight movement on his bed. “look who’s awake…did you sleep well?”

IF HER PARENTS knew the type of company she is keeping, they would have disowned her regardless of her potential to succeed them. she cannot help it; eunseo has only ever felt the truest sense of love with him, even though their circumstances — she from a wealthy, cherished, privileged background and he, not quite most of those — aren’t ideal ( but really, idealism had belonged to her youth; she carries part of it, but she’s more than grown out most of it ). but when her hands find vacancy beside her, eunseo startles awake. in a second she is upright in his bed, but when she sees him just there, her body softens. “ i thought you left again, ” she says, a little despondent. then she tries for a smile. “ come here, love, ” eunseo croons, reaching a hand out to him.

[evnseoul-blog]

[ starter call ] i rly need to get more threads going w/ eunseo!! so hit that heart if you’d like me to write a closed starter specifically for your muse!! if u have more than one ‘n would like to specify, go do it my man and oh!! if we already have a thread going u can still like this!! multiple threads are a fave

[evnseoul-blog]

iscul.

                           ‘ h o s t i l e ’ and ‘ AGGRESSIVE ’ were words that didn’t correctly describe iseul, nor did broken        it implied that she could be fixed. inadequate, on the otherhand, was a perfect description ; hopeless and with no potential. she was inferior, unworthy of another’s precious time or affection. and so, perpetuated with loneliness, she drank to fill that VOID       her glass never empty, nor was the s p a c e in her bed. she was a walking cliché , the embodiment of the phrase ‘ money can’t buy you happiness ’, and always questioning ‘ what if ? ’. eunseo was apart of that, a friend lost to the CHANGES she made. with age was supposed to come g r o w t h but instead of shooting up, she shrivelled from a SUNFLOWER to weed. perhaps only iseul was blind to that.

                          that voice, she knew all too well. it H A U N T E D her       or more so, the words that it was used to express. the last ones iseul was to hear had not been so kind and were full of JUSTIFIED despise and righfully so, in some aspects. although, she’d never admit that. the woman was far from dignified but was much, too prideful all the same. sucking the f l a m e through the cigarette, to light it, and then inhaling the smoke deep into her lungs, laughter intertwined with wisps of grey escaped her coloured lips, “ in the FLESH. ” sporting an infamous smirk, playful in it’s manner, she raised a brow, “ why ? surprised to see me ALIVE and kicking after all this time ? ”

HER EYES BLINK slowly, and already she feels her guard up — for what, eunseo can’t put a name to, but heated words thrown into the cold of night is the last thing she wants ( she remembers the last time they’ve ever spoken and it hurt, more than she thought it would and more than it should for someone who always leaves a gap between her and anyone she comes close with ). “ your will for survival is without doubt, ” says eunseo, “ i just thought you’d be proving me wrong by having the last laugh. ” there’s a pause where she contemplates crouching down beside iseul, but decides against it ( they’re not who they were anymore ). “ i would, but i’m not such an asshole to do so. ” 

eunseo finds nothing else to say after that — she would ask how iseul is doing, but really, is she even allowed to? and, considering iseul’s current situation, it might even be taken the wrong way. her eyes do wander from the other’s state of disarray to the nondescript garbage bags. she fishes out her phone from her pocket. “ i’m booking you a car ride, ” her tone is plain, and if they forget about the past few years hard enough it would be as if booking a drunken iseul a car ride was a regular occurrence. “ i’m going to need your address though. ” 

[evnseoul-blog]

wowoosung.

Woosung was working on a new track for his mini album so he had not heard anyone at the door. He had his headphones playing music on blast to cancel out any noise distractions. He hated to be distracted while he worked and the headphones kept his mind from getting distracted from every sound the house made. However, after an hour of producing no lyrics he decided to take a break. Pausing his music and getting up from his chair he made his way into the kitchen. As he was snooping through his refrigerator he heard a couple of knocks at the door. Wondering who could be bothering him so early in the morning he slowly made his way over to the door. Looking out of the peephole he saw Eunseo outside of the door. “Shit,” he mumbles to himself as he takes in her appearance. He quickly opens his front door and pulls Eunseo inside shutting the door behind her. “What are you doing here so early in the morning? You should be asleep in bed.” 

SHE LOOKS OVER his shoulder, and sees it — the glow of a computer screen. her sleepless-ridden eyes lazily settle back to woosung’s. “ and you? were you working all night again? have you slept? ” she asks him with her head tilted to the side, tone just a bit accusing, but not unkind. “ here, i made some dak-kalguksu. took me a while, and this one’s my third attempt — the best attempt, so you don’t have to worry about getting an upset stomach after. ” she steps aside woosung and saunters over to the kitchen, to pour the soup into a bowl. “ there’s enough servings to last you the day — and some of tomorrow, if you try hard enough. ” then, she turns around. “ come on, have a taste, ” she says, in an attempt to be enthusiastic, but with her constant yawning and droopy eyes, it failed.

[evnseoul-blog]

sejvuns.

MIND OVER MATTER but sejun’s never been one to follow the rules and so far, matter was winning heavily over mind. it was the tension in the air that was so THICK, it only left one idea in his head and there was everything and nothing stopping him from going toward with the idea –– and it all started with her. she was like a drug from the minute that he settled his eyes on her lithe form and long legs sprawled out quite nicely upon her sheets, a haunted image that’s forever etched into his brain, but this was exactly what his father DENIED him of. ( desire for business was the only thing his father had allowed him; never mix business with pleasure. ) “ maybe, ” he pauses for a brief moment before licking at his bottom lip, eyes lowering themselves –– not bothering to hide his desires at this point. “ maybe you should let me SHOW you. these walls aren’t thin for nothing. ”

HE IS RELENTLESS, that much is certain, and eunseo knows their breed: once they have their eyes set on something, they’re going to get it one way or another ( in retrospect, it’s one of the ways their parents ruined them ). eunseo tells herself that sejun doesn’t have to know it’s a job, anyway. her secret is under no jeopardy, so maybe — maybe, she could have this. nobody, especially not their parents, has to know about what they do in the shared space they’ve given. if this turns into a secret, nobody would know. so, by her calculations, eunseo can have this without almost any risk of getting found ( and she would smile at her new realizations, but that would break the mood ).

she turns her head back to him, leaning in closer. eunseo makes the first move: a finger trailing up his arm. “ fine, you get your chance, ” she says, her eyes looking up to match his gaze, “ and if you can get me to say your name, you’ll get another. ” 

[evnseoul-blog]

jvnahs.

there was a soft look c a r e s s i n g her face as her eyes glanced over eunseo’s features, there was no denying the girl was stunning - the kind of pretty that was overwhelming, the kind of pretty that made jinah soft and filled with want. her fingers reached over to touch the other girl’s arm, drawing figures on her skin. ‘ hmm .. well i guess i’m going to give you something i want then. ’ she muttered, feeling eunseo’s breath tickle her cheek. she smiled a bit before leaning in, placing her lips on the other’s giving her a short kiss before pulling back, nervous as to what their reaction would be.

THERE’S SOMETHING ELECTRIC in the air between them, in jinah’s touch as she traces eunseo’s skin with her finger. and then the kiss came, and it felt as if eunseo was struck by lightning: from her scalp down to her toes she could feel tinglings and then, as soon as jinah draws back, they’re gone, but now there’s a difference — eunseo could hear the badump-badump of her heartbeat, pounding hard against her chest, loud in her ears — she wants more. 

closer, eunseo leans, licking her lips. and almost careful, just the slightest bit hesitant, she returns it — her lips closing over jinah’s, then again, this time closing her eyes. she turns her body fully to jinah, and a hand comes up to trail the other’s arm before it settles on her face. 

[evnseoul-blog]

nhwanki.

he had no REAL reason as to why simply seeing her face had frozen his entire body. it was more of a subconscious thing as he had only seen her a couple times before, when he was still someone with a bright future and immense talent. the scene was still clear in his mind — they met because of both of their parents, were forced on a small date and they’d never seen each other ALONE ever since. her face brought memories he wished to forget, a past he wanted to go back to and a future as dark as night. the only reason they had met was because he was an up and coming cellist but that had been taken from him in a instant; so, what was he supposed to do? now, he was just a nobody who her parents wouldn’t even have looked at for a second. how could he stand proudly in front of her as a shell of his past self?

he was awkward, frustrated with himself. really, seeing her had only made the feelings he tried so hard to forget resurface. dilemma had been his safe heaven since his operation but she had came like a tornado, almost destroying all of his progress in a heartbeat. ❛ ‘glad you enjoyed it. ❜ she was obviously making efforts to have some sort of conversation and hwan ki wasn’t MEAN enough to shut her down. ❛ ah— yeah, we met after i got out of the hospital. ❜ he took a quick look at his bandmates, sighing slightly at their obvious intentions. they were supposed to go eat together after the gig and by their looks, they OBVIOUSLY wanted hwan ki to invite the unknown pretty lady. ❛ look, we were planning to go eat together after and— do you want to come? ❜ for the first time since they’d started talking, hwan ki actually looked directly at eunseo.

EUNSEO HAS BEEN around — grew up around, in fact — a childhood of underhanded compliments and two-facedness ( of which the exemplars are her parents and her parents’ friends and her parents’ friends’ friends ) to have an idea on how to get a read of people, at the very least. it’s not something she’s particularly skilled at, given that she’s not one to care about people in general. there’s something on the tip of her tongue — was it a coldness she’s receiving from him? but it’s not like she can outright ask. eunseo lightly shakes the idea off. they were never close, and eunseo never knew him well enough to know how he acts, so perhaps this was just natural of him.

“ really? ” the invite comes to her surprise — eyes slightly widened at hwan ki. eunseo leans slightly closer to whisper to him, but minds her distance. “ you sure my company won’t be a problem? ” if she could answer truthfully, she wants to leave their dinner to them. it’s probably in celebration of the night’s performance, and she doesn’t — she’ll just be out of place the entire time. and yet, she can’t help be curious ( a natural reflex, stronger in her given the inquisitive lineage her family of researchers boasts ) at what would transpire if she does go.

[evnseoul-blog]

HER KNOCKING COMES louder this time. “ ya, woosung, if you don’t open the door, ” she says, a warning in her tone, “ it’s not going to make me any less relentless. ” eunseo clicks her tongue and shifts her foot. one way or another, she’ll get into his apartment and stuff actual, homemade food into his system. she tries knocking again. nothing  — it’s not exactly woosung’s fault for not answering, especially when eunseo turns up at five-thirty in the damn morning with barely anything to announce her arrival. “ come on, ” she whispers, her tone drawling on a whine, “ i learned how to make this! ” and it took her a couple of tries to get it right, down to taste. took all night, too, which would explain the disheveled bun atop her head and tired eyes. | ( @wowoosung )

[evnseoul-blog]

scvnhee.

SUNNY WAVED GOODBYE to the lady behind the cart, carefully trying to balance the tteokbokki on top of her stack of books. it was times like these where she really contemplated switching jobs, or at least working at a different auto shop. sunny often had to run errands for her boss like an intern, most of which have no relation to cars at all. today, she had been sent out to grab textbooks for the owner’s teenage daughter. it was the THIRD time this week that she had been given a task of this sort, and frankly she was tired of it. meaning, her mood was LESS than pleasant at that moment.

dark hues land upon a passing car, with it’s fresh paintjob, custom license plate, and killer set of wheels, the owner clearly had money and sunny was left admiring the beauty of it all even after the vehicle had left her line of sight. that meant she wasn’t paying attention at all, and the s u d d e n contact of another caused her to screech in PANIC, dropping the books and her dinner in the process. anger boiled up in the girl’s system, and she was about to let a line of curses escape her when she realizes just who jumped in front of her. “i-it’s fine.” she mumbles, grabbing her things quickly and eager to take her leave. it was always nice to see a familiar face, but not this time. this was was FAR too familiar, and her mind wanders back to that one night. her lips trailing down her skin, hands roaming, all in a drunken h a z e. “i should go.”

SHE DIDN’T EVEN realize it was sunny who she helped, and before eunseo could even say anything, sunny’s already slipping out of her grasp. eunseo reaches an arm out, gently closes a hand over the other’s wrist. “ sun, wait. ” it sounds pleading, the way she says it, voice tight in her throat. a million questions fill her eyes, deep brown, as they search the other’s face for any sort of explanation to the missed calls, ignored texts, blatant ghosting. eunseo bites her tongue; they’re supposed to be good friends, best friends even, but now — now she’s not even sure where they stand anymore. and she knows, that even though they might have made a great friendship, sunny doesn’t owe her anything, not even answers, so it’s useless to even think to ask ( and yet, all she can think about was how her lips remembers the softness of kissing; her hands prickling with the memory of the ways sunny’s body curves — what was she supposed to do with those memories? forget them? how? ).

still, eunseo’s not about to let a chance meeting go to waste. eunseo looks at the tteokbokki, now inedible on the sidewalk like that, and gets an idea. “ at least let me buy you your dinner back, ” she says, quieter now, “ you don’t have to do anything else — i won’t do anything more. ” eunseo bites her lip, at least let me have this. 

[evnseoul-blog]

[ TEXT ] → ????

sora: listen i know im too prideful for my own good

sora: i hate asking for help

sora: but im in trouble

sora: where are you ?

eunseo: at home. shouldn't i be asking you where you are?

eunseo: anyway

eunseo: what is it this time

[evnseoul-blog]

nhwanki.

      THE MUSIC COULD BE HEARD from a few blocks away as dilemma performed the last song of the night. they held occational gigs for the fans that have been supporting them and tonight was when they’d reveal their new song for the first time — it was kind of a big deal to them, which is why hwan ki had invited a couple of his acquaintances to the show a couple days before. honestly, he didn’t know if any of them had showed up and at the moment, he didn’t really care. from what he could see from the stage, there was probably at least a thousand people. he was oddly proud of himself considering they were still rookies; it was such a difference compared to when they started.

      hwan ki smiled brightly at the crowd as he sang the last verse of the song, ending their small gig with a simple bow and a thank you. that’s when he finally remembered the people he had invited, had they come? when the crowd was reduced to only a few people is when he went to look, recognizing his friend even from far away. he had clearly noticed that they weren’t alone, a girl was standing with them but hwan ki hadn’t noticed WHO it was until it was too late. ❛ you came? how was it ? ❜ as soon as his eyes shifted to the girl, he felt like running away. why was she here? hwan ki smiled, trying to look as awkward chill as possible. ❛ did you like the new song?❜, he then asked as he shifted his attention back to their mutual friend. | @evnseoul

“ HONESTLY, I DON’T even know why we have to rush, ” eunseo groused as she was tugged, rather harshly so, through the crowd by her friend. he’d been ecstatic hours before, raving on and on about a band called dillemma. something something about rising stars, and phenomenal despite their novelty — eunseo had been too busy reading the menu for something to eat, nodding absentmindedly to acknowledge her friend ( of course, he caught on and smacked her lightly on her arm. she laughs, apologizes, and asks him to repeat it — he grumps, but does so anyway ).

now, a speck in a sea of people all listening to the music, feeling the bass pump through their bones, eunseo understands why her friend likes them so much. they’re a ways away from the stage, so she couldn’t see the band members clearly; apparently her friend is friends with one of them, and asks if they can stay after the last  song has ended so he can congratulate his friend ( eunseo agrees, of course, because she partly felt like she owed him ). and then finally, her friend’s friend approaches — he’s someone she knows; eunseo wouldn’t have been struck by such a strong sense of familiarity otherwise. “ i really liked the bass line — i didn’t know you played, ” says eunseo, in an attempt to break ice, “ or that you’re friends with him — what a small world! ”

[evnseoul-blog]

iscul.

                           “ you didn’t KICK me out, i left, ” words s l u r r e d as she stumbled onto a pile of garbage with a gentle push, a cruel metaphor for her life. being thrown from two bars, only a few days into the new month was her greatest accomplishment, no amount of money able to keep the doors w i d e open and welcoming. a DRUNK girl making a scene was socially undesirable, the opposite of what the tatemae had always strived to be       to be accepted, wanted and loved. hair d i s h e v e l l e d and crimson lips smudged, sat among the bags packed with discarded and UNWANTED items, she picked out her poison ( nimble fingers sifting through an almost empty cigarette box ). slotting one between her dark p e t a l s, she felt a pair of eyes STARING, but was much too preoccupied by her deperate search for a lighter to find out who’s. “ the fuck are you looking at ?       asshole. ”

SOMEONE LIKE EUNSEO frequents the bars that are relatively quiet, usually h a u n t e d by lone figures with half a glass of whiskey dampening its coaster in front of them ( only tonight it’s a little more crowded and N O I S I E R, on account of fresh paychecks in their pockets and the liberation that an end of a week brings ). she sits in the barstool she’s pretty sure claimed by now, on her fifth glass of white russian — it’s similarity to coffee e n d e a r s her to it, and, given that it’s not a particularly a STRONG drink, she can have as many as she wants. eunseo ignores the incessant vibrating of her phone on the bar, calls from people the same age as her, the same class as her, all seemingly eager for her company. but eunseo knows better than to waste her time with them.

a commotion starts on the seventh glass, when the bouncer ( eunseo didn’t even know this place had one, let alone needed one ) reprimands a woman — tall, willowy, graceful even as she teetered on her heels — and sharply escorts her out of the establishment. eunseo pauses — that woman; she knew her voice ( could it honestly be? ). without further delay, she pays for her tab and follows a few minutes after. eunseo finds the woman nearby, lounging on black bags of garbage, patting her pockets for something. “ iseul, ” she murmurs, her breath turning into clouds in the cold night air. “ i was hoping it’d be a ghost, but apparently not. ”

[evnseoul-blog]

jvnahs.

it scared her to death, the idea of being all alone in south korea after having lived her entire live in canada - she didn’t have her direct relatives to depend on, her mother and father still r e s i d i n g in her home town. having her aunt and uncle to fall back on was beyond freeing for the petite, they helped her fit in and reach out to people - with them being highly social people jinah had gotten in contact with all sorts of people due to them, one of the most i m p o r t a n t one being eunseo.

‘ yah.. ’ the girl sighed in defeat, her actions being somewhat e x a g g e r a t e d as her eyes were locked on eunseo moving graciously over her bed, eyeing her frame. ‘ that’s because i don’t usually let you win. ’ jinah teased, as she moved over to lie down on her side next to the girl. ‘ you can pick whatever you want, i’ll give it to you. ’

eunseo brings the pawn back down to her chest and closes her hand over it, thinking. “ hmm, ” she hums, and then finally, she decides, “ making me pick isn’t fun — i could have anything, if i wished for it, if i asked my parents. instead — ” slowly, her head turns to jinah’s. eunseo leans further in, so close that her every breath would touch the other’s cheek. her voice, barely above a whisper, asks “ what do you want to give? ”