your heart is an empty room

SAM EVANS twenty-one years old and still no clue what i'm doing so don't ask too many questions. living in the city that never sleeps seemed like the best way to ditch my bad dreams. still missing my little robin everyday. ♥

[evnssam]

S.S. ✉️ S.E.

SEBASTIAN: I can always feel how much you need me.

SEBASTIAN: although I won't say no to you reminding me

SAM: I think you'll need the reminding before I turn into a sad zombie for a day

[evnssam]

S.S. ✉️ S.E.

SEBASTIAN: it'll be the first place I kiss

SAM: i want to kiss yours too

SAM: make you feel how much I need you

[evnssam]

S.S. ✉️ S.E.

SEBASTIAN: I missed you too.

SEBASTIAN: they wanted the shoot tomorrow, technically, but I knew that wasn't gonna happen because I wouldn't let that happen, even if it meant losing it. I needed to be with you.

SAM: such a good boyfriend, babe

SAM: you should kiss my wrist when you get here

[evnssam]

S.S. ✉️ S.E.

SEBASTIAN: yeah, I think that would be okay.

SEBASTIAN: all I want is to be everything and anything you need me to be.

SAM: you're perfect. all the time.

SAM: I missed you so much today.

SAM: but it means you can be here tomorrow.

[evnssam]

S.S. ✉️ S.E.

SEBASTIAN: I know you don't want to hear it but I don't need you to be good for me.

SEBASTIAN: I need you to be good for you.

[pause]

SEBASTIAN: but I fully plan on kissing you the second I get through that door and not stopping till tomorrow morning, so if you need to get your chapstick on, now would be the time.

SAM: I will be chapsticking every few minutes until you get here, just in case.

[a beat later]

SAM: would it be ok to need you to be good for me right now and then worry about the other thing later?

[evnssam]

S.S. ✉️ S.E.

SEBASTIAN: i'm feeling like...

SEBASTIAN: I can't wait to kiss you.

SEBASTIAN: and I can still taste your lips right now and it's... really making me want to get home.

SEBASTIAN: and I want to feel your hands.

SEBASTIAN: I want to hear the smile in your voice.

SAM: I want to give you all those things.

SAM: I want you to kiss me until I can feel it in my toes.

SAM: I want to smile for you!

SAM: and just... be good.

[evnssam]

S.S. ✉️ S.E.

SEBASTIAN: yeah, I can do that.

SEBASTIAN: I'll just remember how you looked in bed this morning, and maybe, like... the brain waves will transmit over to you. and that's what you'll feel.

[needs a minute or two to settle into it]

SAM: that's better

SAM: I think maybe the best thing for me is trying to grab onto what you're feeling as much as I can for a couple days

SAM: instead of making you try to fix me

[evnssam]

S.S. ✉️ S.E.

[FEELS HORRIBLE]

SEBASTIAN: baby you know I'm not mad at you.

SEBASTIAN: I'm worried about you, and that's way different.

SEBASTIAN: but I love you too. that's never going to change.

SAM: hey, it's not your fault.

SAM: when I feel weird it's hard for me to figure out if you're worried or if you're annoyed with me.

SAM: can you just super focus on the loving me thing for awhile? like don't think about anything else?

[evnssam]

S.S. ✉️ S.E.

SEBASTIAN: I don't want you to think I'm, like, forcing you into shit.

SEBASTIAN: i appreciate that you'll take a stab at the juice and toast.

SAM: I feel like you're mad at me and I know you're probably not but I'm having a hard time being able to tell.

SAM: I'm going to tell you that I love you anyway.

[evnssam]

S.S. ✉️ S.E.

SEBASTIAN: okay.

SAM: you can't just "okay" me

SAM: that's the opposite of okay

[evnssam]

S.S. ✉️ S.E.

SEBASTIAN: at least drink something.

SEBASTIAN: I know you don't want to but I've gotta make sure you're okay.

SAM: I know, I'm sorry

SAM: I promise I'll have some juice

SAM: and maybe toast

[evnssam]

S.S. ✉️ S.E.

SEBASTIAN: you dodged that whole thing.

SEBASTIAN: you have to eat, Sam.

SAM: I don't want to

SAM: my stomach's all crazy

SAM: I'll just get sick

[evnssam]

S.S. ✉️ S.E.

SEBASTIAN: anything good?

SEBASTIAN: do you want me to pick up dinner? have you eaten today?

SAM: rugrats

SAM: I'm not hungry but you should get something if you didn't have dinner yet!

[evnssam]

S.S. ✉️ S.E.

SEBASTIAN: what are you doing for now?

SAM: watching cartoons so I don't think too much

[evnssam]

S.S. ✉️ S.E.

SEBASTIAN: hey you

SEBASTIAN: I know you're ripping into meltdown territory right now but I'm just letting you know that the traffic is monstrously backed up right now

SEBASTIAN: and I had that stupid shoot in Jersey today and

SEBASTIAN: disgusting. I hate this state.

SEBASTIAN: but I'm going to try and get home as fast as I can, okay?

SAM: hey, it's okay

SAM: I know you didn't want to go

SAM: but I'll feel better when you're back

[evnssam]

S.E. ✉ S.S.

SEBASTIAN: figured by the way it makes you whine

SAM: it's way better than working out in the morning

SAM: or at least it's a more satisfying work out by the time we're done

[evnssam]

S.E. ✉ S.S.

SEBASTIAN: that's almost my favorite way to wake you up.

SAM: i approve of your favorite way even more!!