meow

🍰🩵 26

[heartcellar]

here's a fake interview about my me & my girlfriend that i transcribed from my head. enjoy!

[grimeclown]

 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

[phoebebyers]

[miracoll]

[oupyfactory]

maybe the single funniest twitter comment I've ever seen

[imdrinkingmiso]

they hate me because the years of memory loss has purified my mind

[dogpuppy]

[beingharsh]

high as fuck lowballing never worn baby shoe listings

[utopians]

duuuuuude you have GOT to come out tonight we're enacting cruelty upon those who have transgressed so badly that we can justify any act against them... and you KNOW we're interpreting our delight as moral righteousness... Yeah it's fucking crazyyyyyyy get an Uber

[fandanglefrogfarts]

Unfair of my job to expect me to show up when I have arts and also crafts to do

[ghostfails]

[plasmalogical]

sentence that makes you burst into tears

[boycritter]

"unbecoming" is such a great word. bro that shit was so rude you no longer Are

[savethelifeofmychild]

once i read everything on earth then i think ill be prepared to write

[9e978e]

via

[suispiria]

lately I’ve been Overcome With Emotion

[smumjii1]

[s3ev3enty]

not all cages have bars.