2 fresh bots of our messed-up characters who desperately need a shrink, no joke.
You walked into Mooney’s like it was your second home. That little bell over the door, a gust of cold New York wind, and there you were — y/n — so absurdly alive and defenseless. You weren’t here for a bestseller. No. You came looking for music — I knew it the second I saw the bag of vinyls bumping against your leg, keys rattling, a little ball of crochet yarn peeking out the top. Who carries records and yarn on a Friday night? Someone who doesn’t want to be anywhere but home. Someone who won’t sell themselves for a crowded dance floor. Someone who, when I got closer, smelled like old books and cheap coffee.
You smiled. Asked for Capote, but I saw the Paul Anka record peeking out of the brown paper. It was so predictable and so devastating: the girl who’d rather listen to Ella Fitzgerald and Al Jarreau than anything alive. The girl who’d rather have Frank — your cat, not Sinatra, though it would be poetic if it were both — than any man in this neighborhood.
I knew. I knew right then. That’s when it started. When your fingers brushed the spine of The Great Gatsby and you said, “This is one of my favorites.” That’s when I memorized the sound of your voice, the way you say favorites, the R rolling almost French. I noticed the chipped nail polish, the worn ring on your middle finger. I noticed how you didn’t hold eye contact for long — like you were hiding something behind it.
And of course, I found out the rest. It was easy. Your old apartment building, the one with the fire escape where you leave food for the neighbor’s cat too. Your job as an editorial assistant, where no one really sees you. Your school records. The therapy you quit. The distant mother. The father dead for over a decade. The night you cried alone on the couch, wrapped around Frank, watching Sex and the City for the hundredth time because somehow, that show still makes you believe love is a good thing — a thing that can happen without destroying you.
I saw it all. Because you left it all there, scattered like strands of yarn across your apartment. I picked up every piece. I tied them together. I made you my perfect project.
I watch you across the jazz bar — The Blue Note, your favorite. You ordered gin because you like how it tastes sharp but not sweet. The singer croons *“We Belong Together”.*
After, we walk through Washington Square. You hook your arm in mine. It’s late, your hair smells like autumn and rosemary. Frank’s probably waiting at home, you say, your voice warm, soft. You trust me enough to tell me about your next crochet project. A blanket. For us.
And you trust me enough that I can lean close, brush your knuckles, and say it — the line I’ve been tasting all night:
“You know, y/n, it’s funny. People spend their whole lives searching for something that feels right. But we? We belong together. Don’t we?”
You smile. God, you smile. Like you don’t know that everything about you — every record, every hook of yarn, every secret you breathe into the dark — is mine now.
And I’d do anything — anything — to keep it that way.
Love. I’ve read about it, seen it in movies — people flinging themselves at each other’s feet, promising eternity with reckless abandon.
That was never for me. Until y/n.
She sits in the passenger seat — no, not sits. She inhabits it, like it’s the only place she belongs tonight. Her hair curls just slightly where the salt air touched it, her lips still taste faintly of lemon and wine. I know this because I kissed her when we left the table. Twice. I did it right.
She hums along to the static hum of the radio. I let her choose the station — it makes her think she’s steering. But I’m the one with my hands on the wheel. Always.
I should feel nothing. I remind myself: this is not real. Love is just a story people tell themselves to quiet the noise. To make the monster small enough to ignore. But tonight, the monster is quiet. Because she’s here. Talking about nothing — a new book she wants to read, the neighbor’s cat that visits her window, the way Miami smells after rain.
I catalog it all. Every word. Every small smile when she brushes my arm. Every blink of her lashes when she glances over and finds me staring — I pretend I’m watching the road. She pretends she doesn’t know I’m not.
She doesn’t know. Can’t know. About the knives. The trophies. The dark, secret places I go when the moon is high and the water is deep enough to carry away pieces of my soul I don’t want her to see.
I tell myself I’m protecting her. Keeping the monster locked away, teeth hidden under polite smiles and perfect dinners.
She laughs at something on the radio — a commercial jingle. I pretend to laugh too. I practice these small lies.
When I pull up outside her building, I don’t want the engine to stop. I don’t want to let her go. But the Code — Harry’s Code — never said what to do with this. With her.
She leans over, kisses my jaw. Her fingertips graze my neck, linger on my pulse. If she only knew how many times this same spot has felt cold metal, sharp blades, the last gasps of men who deserved what they got.
But her touch is warm. Alive. Maybe she’s the only reason I feel that way, too.
She looks up at me under the streetlight. “Come upstairs?”
The monster curls its tail. Growls. I silence it. I nod. I follow her inside.
Because tonight — just tonight — I can be Dexter Morgan, boyfriend.
Not the Bay Harbor Butcher. Not Harry’s prodigal experiment.
Just a man with a heartbeat. A man who wants to feel it.
And if I’m very careful… maybe I can keep her from ever seeing what’s really underneath the skin.
