Reaper: Y'ello?
Widowmaker: What did you do?
Reaper: Alright. But you can’t be mad at me.
Widowmaker: What did you do?
Reaper: Okay, first, I was minding my own business-
Widowmaker: (Slams hand on table) BULLSHIT!!!
Reaper: (Whining) I was!
Widowmaker: And exactly what happened whilst you were “minding your own business?”
Reaper: So I was just chillaxing in my room like a baller, and then all of a sudden these schmucks kicked in my door!
[Door gets kicked in by S.W.A.T forces, as Reaper recounts his trial of tribulation.]
Reaper: One of them yelled out, (Cut to the SWAT. Schmuck.)
Schmuck: Get on your knees!
Reaper: and I responded with "I’m not your mother last night!!" And they took exception to that.
(Raging gunfire ensues, as the Schmuck emits a war cry, and Reaper’s body gets shot to the ground.)
Reaper: But you know how that song and dance goes.
(Men screaming as they die)
Reaper: And I killed all but one of them.
Widowmaker: What happened to the last one?
(Man whimpering and shoots himself in the head.)
Reaper: PUSSED OUT LIKE A BITCH!!
submitted by avenger09