excerpts from my notes app

l̶i̶v̶e̶. l̶a̶u̶g̶h̶. l̶o̶v̶e̶. 𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓼𝓸𝓬𝓲𝓪𝓽𝓮. 𝓭𝓮𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓮. 𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓼𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓪𝓻💖

[excerpts-from-my-notes-app]

A diary is like the only story book where the reader knows more about the story than the writer.

[excerpts-from-my-notes-app]

You can truly feel ur prefrontal cortex developing when u do shit that ur parents never let u and then u truly *understand* why they never let u and then u swear to urself that u'll never let ur kids do this and the cycle continues

[excerpts-from-my-notes-app]

It's weird how wishing for somebody else's downfall is almost like showing your brain where not to go.

Sadly, since the dawn of time, humans have been really bad at following that particular order.

So here I am, digging myself the ditch that I told others to jump in.

If you keep wishing for others to live a miserable life, down the road,eventually, without you even realizing it, you'll be wishing that they lived a life like yours.

And you'll be surprised.Because,see? Both those wishes look the same now.

When did that happen?

When did you become the downfall? The ditch? The ill-wish?

Funnily enough, you still haven't changed.

You'll meet somebody who's stooped as low as you, and immediately start comparing ditches.

Oh no, looks like theirs is steeper.

And so you continue

to dig.

[excerpts-from-my-notes-app]

there's something nostalgic about attending that annual function in your school as an ex student I mean I wouldn't know cuz I didn't go but that's what's up apparantly

[excerpts-from-my-notes-app]

sometimes I'll finally set out to do something like studying but that question of whether you'd pee a grape or shit a pineapple just pops into my mind and I'll just sit and ponder at the wall until whoops would you look at the time it's tomorrow

[excerpts-from-my-notes-app]

Fact of the day is i love myself too much to find glory in my suffering so when shit gets too hard the first thought my brain has is "why are we putting ourselves through this let's go paint a garden" and then ill go paint a garden and it's lazy and pathetic but i feel sad when i look at other people who work so hard till they burnout i wonder why we're all trying so hard to justify our existence on this planet

[excerpts-from-my-notes-app]

I wasn't born for this god didn't put me on this planet with free air and plants that can grow free food from an infinite light source up in the sky so that i could worry about my gpa and having to learn electronics when my stream is computer science we went the wrong way at some point and decided to set every other way on fire life is too short to be setting myself on fire but my future reeks of ash already

[excerpts-from-my-notes-app]

Fact of the day is it's easier to create new habits with new people instead of trying to change your old habits with the people who already know what kinda piece of shit you are

[excerpts-from-my-notes-app]

There was a gaping hole in my heart. Where passion, desire and hope used to be.

And it wasn't something that could be filled by an empty cup.

Honey, if you aren't enough without it

You'll never be enough with it.

[excerpts-from-my-notes-app]

Days drift past me as if they're already late to somewhere

As if this was all supposed to end a long time ago.

And time, clumsy that she is, let it go on for a bit too long.

It feels like we're rushing to the end now.

The curtains are being haphazardly drawn.

Characters left un-introduced, pages turned too quickly, the book already closed.

And i am stumbling to catch up.

Days drift past me as if I'll live them again someday.

As if this is just the overview and the show's only about to begin.

But i can see them pulling tighter on the curtain strings.

The music's slowing down, the characters already losing their names and faces.

I think the day my life ends will be the day i realize

That while waiting for the show to begin, the stage was waiting for me all along.

[excerpts-from-my-notes-app]

Lowkey mind-blowing how subtly yet quickly relationships evolve.

She used to be a stranger whose name I couldn't remember.

Then she became a rival whose insults I couldn't counter.

Then she was an anchor, perfect for a trust fall,

Close my eyes, hope for the best.

Now our conversations shape half my soul,

And her eyes hold the rest.

[excerpts-from-my-notes-app]

So I took a leave from college cuz I had to get a rabies shot and I just came after buying brownie and a crispello and it was a bright sunny afternoon and while I was walking back a huge breeze drifted past and all the trees were dancing and everything had colour. The sky was actually blue blue and the trees were the green of life and it made me hope that the cartoons I wished to one day be in weren’t lying about 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨. Atleast not about the colours. There might come a day when I am too old and my eye cells stop showing me the warmth of the colours around me and everything will look all too bleak and dim with no green trees around or the blue sky but I want the girl from the future to know that there was a time we had it all and we loved every second of it.

[excerpts-from-my-notes-app]

Yes she loved you.

She loved that she could change you

Could squeeze out all the mistakes,

Forget the past and forget the plot

She could wait for as long as it takes.

Oh, she loved you for who you could've been

Paid full price for what she'd bought,

Loved you like the mice loves the cheese

And the cheese loves the trap

And the man loves the mice that got caught.

Like how a fisherman loved his fish,

And death loved the smell of rot,

She loved you as a prized possession,

She loved you for who you were not.

[excerpts-from-my-notes-app]

We gotta set our bank account and also our atm card

We gotta make scrunchies

We havta learn how to go back home

We gotta learn the learners test thingy

We gotta figure out why pigeons bob their heads when they walk  like they're jamming out to rock music

For depth perception apparantly

[excerpts-from-my-notes-app]

Started college and a dude already asked my help setting him up with a girl he likes. I was gonna ask her if she was single and right then she was staring at another dude in the corridor whom SHE has a crush on bishes it's been three days since college started and bishes be out here being in a love triangle when I still can't figure where my fuckin class is and got lost three times today

[excerpts-from-my-notes-app]

This is a questionnaire for myself in the future when I turn twenty:

grl why u still here

[excerpts-from-my-notes-app]

Chemistry exists because god was jealous of my mortality and wanted me to crave it like he did