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if i look back, i am lost
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Color Me Curious
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@excerptsfrommydiarys-blog
It’s funny, because older people always tell me how they wished they looked as young as I do. What a privilege, to look towards the past.
I pray that one day I have a million more wrinkles than this 60 year old woman does. Please God, I am blessed to be young, but please let me be old.
"The truth is he is my best friend, and I do think I love him. He has changed, but so have I. And is his behaviour just a reflection of mine? I mean, how many times can you be told your love is not ever going to be reciprocated before you stop unconditionally giving it out?"
In my experience, it takes about 3 years.
"Hate does not exist without love. Especially not with him. I think my heart will break forever over this too."
"Do I only view people the way I do because I see my father in them? I feel so poorly for people, and accept every flaw because I refuse to admit my own father was simply a bad person."
I WANT TO MISS YOU BUT I DON'T KNOW YOU
"I saw him right before I left for New York City. He kissed me like he needed the comfort. Something familiar, and safe. I wish I didn't mind not being more than that. If it means I can feel his familiarity, and my last taste of love, then I don't mind."
I WILL BE ANYTHING YOU WANT ME TO BE AS LONG AS YOU'RE THERE (YOU NEVER ARE)
"My heart aches so much. I really miss him. Why do I tell him I don't love him when I do. I am so terrified of love, I would rather be alone than open myself up to somebody. I think I love him so much, I hate him."
I AM BREAKING MY OWN HEART