Hope
It’s been 6 days since I took off the hijab. I am currently in my room. I’m listening to my mother and younger brother discussing me, and my decision. Right now, outside my room. That’s a great position to be in (I don’t know if you could sense the sarcasm).
It’s definitely a harder thing to do than I expected. The emotional pressures of my parents and family is still deafening. I am dealing with it better than I did a few days ago. I feel better. I feel like I can handle the criticisms of the people around me, but their blatant insults are a bit too harsh. It’s okay though. I can definitely handle it.
When I first confronted my dad about it 7 days ago, it wasn’t planned. I just put out there: “I’m not asking for you’re permission, I am just letting you know. I don’t want you to be surprised when you see me out not wearing it.” It definitely didn’t go well. The next day, as promised, I went out, and didn’t wear it. My dad decided he didn’t want to see me. That was tough for me, but expected, of course. I spent the next 2 days having lunch in my room because he specifically asked my mom to not let me have lunch with them. He can’t stand looking at me. My friends have been supportive though, and that definitely helped. Their kindness and love for me is what’s keeping me going. Though some of them definitely don’t approve, they still love me and respect my decision, which is all I ask for.
As for today, I was supposed to go to my family gathering, consisting of my grandparents and aunts from my mother’s side. My grandmother is a scary woman, and she is extremely religious. It is safe to say that my mother told me not to go, for my safety, of course. According to my sister, my grandmother cursed me out and blamed my mother for supporting me (which for the record, she most definitely did not support any of my recent shenanigans). My mom and sister came to my room to tell me all about it, and we had a good laugh. I’m really glad my mom can laugh about it now. I really am.
My dad? Well, I haven’t spoken to him much since. He’s traveling for a week tomorrow, so it’ll be a bit less stressful without him in the house. I really hope he can laugh about this someday too. I really hope he’ll talk to me like he used to.