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𝙀𝙓𝙄𝙇𝙀𝘿𝘽𝙊𝙐𝙉𝙏𝙔 — 𝙅𝘼𝙑𝙄𝙀𝙍 𝙀𝙎𝘾𝙐𝙀𝙇𝙇𝘼

𝘽𝙊𝙔 𝙏𝙐𝙍𝙉𝙀𝘿 𝙎𝙊𝙐𝙍 . 𝙀𝙎𝙏. 1895.

𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙩. 𝙖𝙙𝙫. 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙚. 𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚.

within this blog, expect the musings of javier escuella, primarily focusing on the premise of RDR2 yet not limited to mild divergence and adages of one’s own character interpretation.

in terms of one-on-one threads, i will be hosting those via messages. private writings can also be held on discord, but only if absolutely necessary. for organizational purposes, tumblr is the preferred outlet. it is possible to also reach me via instagram (@maimedignity [or @lossofluck where i muse sean]), to which is my origin, to also produce a thread with me there (it will most likely become a spot for javier musings).

𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙮 𝙨𝙥𝙪𝙙. 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙨. 21+. 𝙀𝙎𝙏 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙯𝙤𝙣𝙚.

[ please be aware that i am horribly shy, especially by having sort of moved onto a new outlet for writing. if i do not contact you first/do not interact as much at first, just know that it's one-hundred percent me being funky. regardless, i am always happy to make new pals, spew ideas, and anything in between. thank you! ]

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ah yes. it’s that time where i require a homo thread with javier and someone else EEEAAHHH

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jovier but in the context of john being right about the gang going to shit and javier coming to terms with that too late, having to hunt john down and basically lives on his front doorstep like a stray mutt because he doesn’t feel safe being in his own or with anyone else

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HI I’VE RESURRECTED

i am sleepy and tired but nevertheless HI

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WOW HI IT’S BEEN A MINUTE

anyway hi javier muse write with me!!!

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omg hi

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javier’s a hopeless romantic because he can talk the talk but when you go to hold his hand he gets nervous

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this is also vaguely yet not-so vaguely nsfw but

javier is like 95% a bottom. not elaborating, just take that at face value—

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i think the way the whole train heist thing should’ve gone down is that when john’s thought to be dead? javier’s crushed.

what really does him in is when dutch pushes john’s “death” aside and moves on to bigger and better things. john’s a part of the gang, javier’s world is crushed. the thought of the man he cared for being pawned off as if he were nothing gets to him. that’s when he realizes that backing up dutch was the wrong idea— he’s on the wrong side. if not for anything else, but for john.

and i can only imagine he bails on the gang, only to try and find john’s supposed corpse and ends up losing his way with the gang. little does he know that john’s still alive and manages to come across him years later. javier’s a lone wolf again, a bounty hunter with no allegiance to any gang. in the meantime, he sorrows himself over the shame he has for even thinking to support dutch before his split. yet, when he finally comes across john alive and well on his own land? javier’s ecstatic.

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HI

i’ve been down in the dumps as of late but am trying to fix that by getting back into writing!! send me some prompts… or perhaps contact me to start a thread! 😼⚡️

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omg hi woah

anyways hi taking some rp requests i think?!?! i can write with folks via messages or discord!! just shoot me a message!!

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javier crawling out from the crypt after the gang disbanded and showing up on john’s farm like “aye amigo, miss me?” is the way the epilogue should’ve gone

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javier: fuck off, i’m a real man

literally anyone: pets through his hair like a dog

javier: i am puppy

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me, dying for long-handed threads to just splurge in

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@morganed said: ❛   i had a girl who loved me… i threw that away.  ❜  

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ the man’s inner troubles were more than just audible, they were physical. something more than just words, rather the form of displeasure lie within one’s own grimace just feet away from javier’s own. moreso, the mild pain seemed to waft into the air like the lit flame that set the tone for what as a lowly monologue from the cowboy whose troubles seemed to catch up with him. the pair sat silent, analyzing that of loneliness that struck even the most purpose-driven of men, that being the leader’s prized “son”. there was no reply, almost as if the latter didn’t care to speak— but that was quickly broken with a soft, pondering hum. as a chilled breeze swept back the straggling hairs about javier’s face, he turned towards arthur with a look of apology, of empathy.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ❝ you know, amigo, you’re not alone on this. well, sort of… ❞

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀with a hefty draw off a nearly-perished cigarette did the man sigh, long and heavy with the musk of reminiscing hinted all over it. he shook his head, gazing down towards the now cold ground as booted soles shifted against the dirt.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ❝ i had a girl once too, at least, i thought i did… i killed a man for her, pathetic i know. but in the end, it wasn’t worth it. i mean, even though she was bad… we weren’t the same. i had my own ideas, she had hers… ❞

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ with a slight turn of head, javier looked to arthur with a soft nod, the gentle batting of sympathetic lashes.

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ❝ at the end of the day, you need to do what’s right for yourself, follow your own ideas and passions… you didn’t throw anything away, mi amigo. you’re simply living out those passions. you’re doing the right thing. ❞

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could you imagine javier getting with someone and thinking it’s actually a relationship but really it’s just a weird hookup thing… THINK ABOUT IT.

because there’s no doubt in my mind that he’s been with people JUST for that and gets their hopes up, so like… karma’s a bitch bro???

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oh wait HERE’S ONE—

there comes a point where it’s noticeable to everyone in the gang that abigail’s pregnant. there’s no such thing as attempting to hide it, not in the kind of setting they’re in. while the idea is essentially taken up with positivity by most everyone in the gang, javier is the only one not thrilled by this visible news. it’s before john runs away, discrepancies on whether or not the child soon-to-be was his to begin with running rampant, however javier’s gut feeling knows that it most certainly has to be john’s child.

marston’s reeling with this newfound expectancy due in only months from the present time, grappling with the fact that he has a new set of responsibilities— he loves abigail, that much is true, but fatherhood? doesn’t seem in the cards. he soon takes to venting to his most trusted friend, javier, of course— a friend of whom he too had relations with but in silence, under the radar. he merely thought of their passions as a fling, something to curb his gnawing loneliness before he’d found companionship in abigail… yet, the latter took it otherwise. he thought he and john had a chance at being something, even if they could just flee from the gang and start anew. a wild fantasy even, but nevertheless something he was fond of. yet, a withering heart shattered to know that he was nothing more than a plaything to john. a mere call-girl at the man’s disposal while the real call-girl became a wife.

their chat is brief, cut short by javier’s ever-teeming rage towards the situation at hand. he’d held his tongue for the longest time per his once closest friend and lover’s request. however, the promise could no longer be upheld— javier’s heart had been played in vain, he felt. rising from his spot on the ground, tossing his guitar as a jarred twang rumbled in its core, verbal chaos is set loose.

“—you were supposed to love ME! not her— ME!”

jealousy, pain, guilt. it all swims inside the hispanic, hopeless romantic while he just barely manages to keep the sting of burning hot tears well up within long-lashed eyes. he never cries, musters his rage into energy. but not now, not ever it seemed. burning tears, burning like the pain in his chest before stomping away, the rest of the gang already spinning towards the commotion.