@wolfskrieger spoke: i should be sound asleep right now but i'm not for gyda from @wolfskrieger / / ( meme i can’t find )
gyda draws a deep breath in, the cool night air stinging before she exhales, wrapping the shawl she wears around her shoulders tighter. it is not so unpleasant, nor does it compare to the harsh winters of her girlhood, or the bone chilling waters she had crossed. the feeling of the grass, soft against her foot might have even been nice if the sun still shone. but the moon hung in the sky, heavy and full and casting its blue light on the world. it was a beautiful night under better circumstance, one she might enjoy from the porch as she listened to the quiet sounds of night. yet she hangs back, observing the outline of her husband, half illuminated, the designs across his skin lost to the shadows.
he is right, he should be asleep, they should be asleep, but each has their reasons to remain awake. for her the pregnancy weighs more heavily upon her than her last, and the unshakeable feeling of eyes upon her keeps her from true rest. she feels it even then and instinctively her hand rests upon her belly, as if the gesture alone could keep the children she carried safe. perhaps that is what halts her steps, frozen at the bottom of the porch steps until the soft, warm brush of fur against her leg draws her gaze away. the green eyes of her kottr, her ever faithful companion since girlhood stare up at her, as if to provide support before leading the way across the yard to the garden. the animal cuts a smooth path through the grass, damp and chilled as it is, rubbing its head and body against leon before curling back to look at her. as if even he knows the reason why her husband has snuck away from their bed this night. it is a truth she has selfishly tried to lie to herself about: he misses them still.
he misses them. and no matter what love he felt for her or she for him it would never change. she herself has loved before, a husband, a son, two figures she kept locked away in her heart, at peace and comforted by the knowledge that they had lived and loved and died knowing full lives. their presence was still felt, their absence did not grieve her as it once had. for they had more than just her. he did not have such closure, had they not died he would not still live. had she the power she would have seen him live a life with them, pass into legend by the time of her birth having sired sons who surely would be the subject of their own tales. even if it meant an eternity alone for herself. the goddess did not grant her such power, though.
fingertips brush through his hair before she comes to sit beside him, trying to seat herself gracefully. keeping his mind off of it, obscuring ever piece of news or video about the discovery had been what she was sure was best. but had it been? or had it only driven him to miss them more? she was not jealous of a child but even she had seen the woman’s face, had seen that they were not so dissimilar as she had once imagined. and she had felt the keen needling ache that perhaps there was a reason for that. she has managed to push it down before and she does so again, reaching for his hand in the darkness, though her eyes remain on the sky above them. ‘ tell me about her. ’ the request falls softly from her lips. ‘ i know why you don’t sleep. ’ as the cat settles itself between them she finds the courage to look at him, hoping so desperately that the half light hides the pain she feels both for him and because of him. ‘ tell me. ‘
