INFINITE WARDEN

and with all your grief in my arms i will labor by singing light. i'll keep my lanterns lit.

[exilegend]

hello  there!  strangers  can  call  me  cyrus,  i’m  24,  and  i’m  in  the  pacific  timezone.   i’m  a  full - time  student  in  a  four  year  university  working  towards  my  bfa  so  my  activity  will  be  fairly  sporadic.  my  usual  formatting  is  double  spacing  and  small  text  with  color  used  for dialogue.  this  simply  makes  it  easier  for  me  to read.  however,  i  will  more  than  likely  copy  your  formatting  style  when  we  write  together  if  i  don’t  know  you’re  fine  with  that  formatting.

you  can  read  my  rules  and  about  over  on  my  site  (here).

you  can  find  my  detailed  rules  on  my  rules  pages  but  there’ s  some  things  i’d  like  to  note  real  quick:

i don’t want anyone who rps/supports these things following me, out of both comfort for myself and the comfort of certain mutuals:

a.ttack  on  t.itan,  h.etalia,  k.illing  s.talking,  fictional  nazis  (h.ydra  agents,  f.irst  order)  anything  from  jk  rowling’s  writings,  genderbends,  rape,   actual  nazis,  pedophilia,  glorification  of  abuse,  a/b/o,  or  i.ncest

shouldn’t have to be said but i don’t tolerate bigotry of any sort.

Free Palestine. Donate for relief with UNRWA.

[exilegend]

good evening i am thinking about tragedy.

[freshminttea]

When he heard the death rattle, Gilgamesh moaned like a dove. His face grew dark. "Beloved, wait, don't leave me. Dearest of men, don't die, don't let them take you from me."

-Epic of Gilgamesh

[exilegend]

Been RPing more on discord lately. Add my Osiris account :]

[exilegend]

it threads through space set adrift beyond and before, until there is only within. within: a point. lone and stark amid the undulating expanse. distant, at the edges, and forward, only deeper.

osiris a wayfaring witness.

a reluctant heir. a broken promise made true. a husk to fill a throne of sustenance. a shear to prune the vine. a warden to vacancy. a mind elated and crestfallen. a sojourner of meaning ever seeking.

ind. priv. sel. authored by cyrus osiris from bungie’s destiny

[phantomemes]

starters  /  prompts taken from hieu minh nguyen’s work ,  not here .  feel free to change pronouns  /  tenses as necessary .

  ❛  it seems important to mention all the things that went wrong  ❜

  ❛  don’t ask if i’m a ghost  ❜

  ❛  i fled and did not return  ❜

  ❛  i cannot love you  ,  if i love you  ,  i will die  ❜

  ❛  for years i chose death  ❜

  ❛  i belong to my mother’s fear  ❜

  ❛  what do you do with tenderness when all you expect is fury ?  ❜

  ❛  he looks like he will keep you safe  ❜

  ❛  any love i find will be treason  ❜

  ❛  why did you bring me here ?  ❜

  ❛  i count the hornets that escape their mouths  ❜

  ❛  i only ask for your laughter  ❜

  ❛  look at me in the old way in this new light  ❜

  ❛  sometimes i wake up and my body does not follow  ❜

  ❛  it wasn’t the same without you  ❜

  ❛  i’m still trying to figure out what it means to stay  ❜

  ❛  it’s all very predictable  ❜

  ❛  how can i love something that isn’t ruined ?  ❜

  ❛  like all agony  ,  there are pleasant moments  ❜

  ❛  i want to be better at lying  ❜

  ❛  i’m afraid if i say it out loud i will cast a curse  ❜

  ❛  some men don’t know they’re hungry until they eat  ❜

  ❛  some spells take years to cast  ❜

  ❛  there are rules you have to follow if you want to survive  ❜

  ❛  i know you’re not supposed to smile back  ❜

  ❛  madness  ,  too  ,  can be cumulative  ❜

  ❛  trying to forget is not the same as leaving  ❜

  ❛  i really should get a sense of humor  ❜

  ❛  i understand no one  ❜

  ❛  i cannot stop him from disappearing  ❜

  ❛  her body was a dress i hung for motivation  ❜

  ❛  you were once and perhaps continue to be the myth you tell to scare yourself  ❜

  ❛  there are countless ways to justify company  ❜

  ❛  you are predictable in your longing  ❜

  ❛  i don’t want to explain a thing  ❜

  ❛  i knew if i just asked him to leave he would have  ❜

  ❛  there are countless ways to open a carcass  ❜

  ❛  all i’ve ever wanted to be was useful  ❜

  ❛  there’s still time to be saved  ❜

  ❛  shut up  ;  i know the story  ,  or at least the lesson  ❜

  ❛  you wont find it  ;  you won’t find whatever you’re looking for  ❜

  ❛  i could get away with being clumsy with knives  ❜

  ❛  i want to study the mechanics of leaving  ❜

  ❛  any adjective can be true if you cry hard enough  ❜

  ❛  i see little futures in the distance but none belong  ❜

  ❛  i am beginning to forget what i expect from the world i always knew  ❜

  ❛  you can’t think of regret as a town you move too when grief snores too loud  ❜

  ❛  in death we belong to everyone  ❜

  ❛  i want to return to my old body  ❜

  ❛  i think the life i want is the life i have  ,  but how can i be sure ?  ❜

[exilegend]

[rifleseye]

ERASE YOU FROM MY MIND. i'm sorry, but i'm cutting all my ties.

— so i'm saying my goodbyes. goodbye to my good side — it only ever got me hurt. and i finally learned it's a cruel, cruel world!

————————

indie. priv. sel. rules & about.

[exilegend]

wakes up .

[exilegend]

" i am not so naive to believe anything the text 'unveiling' has to offer. propaganda in its most distilled form. it is peeling back the layers, reading between the margins, that we may find some semblance of an ontological truth. "

[exilegend]

places this down before frolicking away. @falldiction

[arcanumsolitude-a-deactivated20]

Upon waiting for an answer, Nimbus' breath was held slightly, the tall individual pacing back and forth, hands swaying at their sides, a churning feeling in the depths of their stomach, a feeling that had deep-rooted itself there for sometime. Filling in the shoes that were left for them on Rohan's behalf much sooner then the former rookie Cloudstrider had been expecting was a lot to grasp completely, but there would be another rookie in the soon to come years, and they would be there to greet whomever filled in the role of newbie.

Despite some form of dissatisfaction with their way of life within the present, Nimbus knew that it was where they belonged, it was simply relieving to turn to another that Nimbus at least considered a friend, they felt lost in the moment, in lieu of everything that had transpired as of lately. The taller one's murky-hued eyes calmly bore downwards upon Osiris, finally releasing that breath of air they were previously clinging onto, a relief of its' own.

"I couldn't imagine what it's like, being a Guardian. Dragged from beyond the grave to be reborn into a brand new life." Nimbus' lips drew into a thin line, frowning but keeping a sincere expression about their features. Truth be told, Nimbus admired the Guardians, Osiris, the Young Wolf, all of them, considering themselves to call them allies, rather then adversaries, as they'd originally thought they'd turn out to be if they had ever set foot on Neptune. The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

The Cloudstrider shook their head, continiously pondering as they briefly turned away from him. "I'm thankful for the life I've led this far along, I've always been happy to defend Neomuna, but... I'm just uncertain right now, I guess. Maybe given enough time, and I'll figure out what I'm truly satisfied with."

[exilegend]

Osiris stops skimming the recent data, his focus shifting entirely onto Nimbus now. Ah... the woes of youth. He remembers his earliest days, how difficult those were. He thinks no matter how much time has passed, how much things have changed, how different Neomuna is to the Earth he had died and grown on, one thing will always be a permanent fixture. Growth. No way around it, there are pains that come with it. Failure and youthfulness and uncertainty, all synonyms.

" It is a lot like being born, I imagine. Save the pitfalls of growing from babe, to child, to adult. I still had to discover who I was, who I would be. And all the arrogance that came with believing oneself immortal. " He thinks he's died more than any other Guardian combined, and even then he never truly appreciated that he could simply stand back up afterwards. Not until that ability was torn from him. Not after Sagira... (He has grown around that grief.)

" But... you are young, and that is what youth is for. Uncertainty. Leave the certainty and surety to elders like me, my young friend. Uncertainty allows you the space necessary to grow into who you wish to be. " That is his belief, at least. It is why he enjoys teaching so much, he thinks. Helping the next generation grow into their own skin.

Learning from hard lessons, with a softness he himself was not allowed. That is not to say these lessons are without hardship, of course. Rohan's sacrifice, for example, was certainly a harsh lesson on grief to learn. He looks up at Nimbus, eyes searching their face for that self-same grief. He remembers the loss of Felwinter and Nirwen, his own mentors, taken from the universe violently and senselessly. He carries them with him now, their lessons like the wrinkles on his face. It's no wonder they'd feel uncertain.

[muyuun]

I LOVE. having multiple threads with my rp partners !! it’s like on some days i feel like writing long stuff, on others i feel more like writing short stuff, sometimes i’d rather write some intense situations, and other times i’m more in the mood for lighthearted topics. having several different types of threads with a person enables me to keep rping with them even if i’m stuck @ a reply for another thread we’re having !! it’s great, honestly !? if you wanna have 1 more thread or 20 more threads /w me that’s 10/10 👌👌👌👌 just write that starter or send an ic ask & we’ll go from there or hmu for plotting k man i love threads i love writing all the things

[exilegend]

What does love feel like to you?

everything.

nothing matters but this. not you. not them. this moment, this love that you've built, that is what matters. it is all that there is. you will do anything to keep it this way; no matter what line you have to cross, who you have to step over. the ends justify the means, after all; and for you, this is everything. they are everything.

tagged by. no one i STOLE it

[exilegend]

@arcanumsolitude said

"i think the life i want is the life i have, but how can i be sure?" - nimbus

it takes a moment for their words to set in. osiris has been hard at work cross-referencing and double-checking and reviewing so much information concerning the veil since crow's departure. and, if he tends to completely tune out the rest of the world, then it is to be expected. he almost asks what they said again but it clicks just as he opens his mouth. he closes it again and frowns, glancing up at his very tall friend. " i... do not believe i am the correct person to ask such a thing. " he has hardly ever been satisfied with his life. yes, he's lived the life he felt was necessary, but living a life of what you want was always out of the question for guardians. nimbus made a choice to become a cloudstrider. osiris had no such choice. he was pulled from the bones of a long-dead person for a purpose he still doesn't entirely understand. " guardians hardly ever have the option of deciding to live a life we want. " he struggles now with his words. even if it wasn't his choice he would not change any of his decisions. he may not have been satisfied but it was right. " it is... i suppose if you do not feel content then it is not the life you want. and if you are then it is. i... spent much of my life dissatisfied. pursuing what i felt necessary for our survival. i still do but... saint and others in my life have shown me a different life. one i did not know was possible for me. i do not want any other life because i do not know any other. "

[exilegend]

" i trust eris, but that does not mean i will never worry for her well-being. obsession is dangerous, and vengeance treads that line. i hope she knows what she is doing. "

[exilegend]

@legacyfirst asked:

He was pointing at the moon but I was looking at his hand.

osiris stares. it's not hard to distrust clovis bray, especially given his... fraught history. (especially from more details of his person given from elsie.) osiris was quiet for a long moment before he looks down, arms folded over one another as he scuffs his shoe against the ground.

" i was not aware clovis bray had romantic proclivities. " he finally settles upon. though, he never gave much of anyone else's personal lives or dispositions much thought so clovis is no different in this than anyone else.

(he does not want to be having such a conversation. private as he is.)