the world, itself, is evil [#2]
[Part 2 of my freeform analysis of rien's character & canto 9. We'll also be looking at Ryoshu today. You can read my first post here - DM]
I think this exchange is the most straightforward statement of what is 'wrong' with Rien, and what has happened TO him. You can't go into the world, my darling daughter, because you will encounter phenomena (dharma) that impress upon you certain feelings, you will become attached to them, and then you will learn the 'truth' about reality, that it is characterised by suffering (dukkha).
Rien is misguided here on several fronts. One, that as dad, he can somehow protect her from suffering by keeping the world 'out there', given she is incarnated, two, that she has not suffered already (from the abuse at the hands of her family, including Rien), three, that she is somehow still only the 'image' of an uncorrupted-by-real-sorrow daughter that he seems to have of her, unsevered by time. These delusions, as I see them, imply a character that CANNOT bear for these three things to not be true.
Do you notice something about the emotions Rien's listing? HAPPINESS, WRATH, SORROW, JOY. !!!! YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, THOSE ARE THE FOUR EMOTIONS THAT HONG LU RECONNECTED WITH IN CANTO 8. Hong Lu transcended the 'curse' on himself, placed on him by his family, his family who are obssessed with eternal life (that is, terrified of death). I'd say we are being invited very bluntly here to notice this. Rien, by contrast with the Elders, is obsessed with death (that is, terrified of LIFE).
I read Rien is someone who is terrified by existence, namely, the uncertainty of existence, and has developed defences against that terror. This is why he cannot stand to read anything other than picture books (because what if he imagines the pictures wrong?) This is why the Prescript is such a necessity to him. Rien's Prescript is less like a god, and more like his mother and his father, keeping them in their household, making everything safe for him by always telling him what the approved action is, the approved words to say. He loves them and hates them for this. In this context, you can see how Rien could easily envy Sora, too. Oh, for my faith to be like yours!
On the one hand, you can see why Rien imagines that the House of Spiders could be something genuinely good for Ryoshu - a space of pure certainty where she won't have to face the world in all its terror. Is he seeing his daughter for what she is, though? Is he thinking about how best to support her in the future? And, what's more, is he thinking about HIMSELF, and what would make him happy?
Ryoshu, even while having one of the fucking hardest days of her life, grasps this:
I think Rien knows, though. I think Rien's 'reward' for finishing this job is to finally give himself the one thing he wants more than anything else - not just death, but complete annihilation - removed from the cycle of death and reincarnation completely, cauterised from this wretched reality of suffering, never to come back round again. A final fuck you.
Listen to the way he talks about his wound:
First thing. This is so fucking sad, right? "What's the point in getting better, I'll just get sick again anyway"; "What's the point in making connections with other people? I'll just be hurt again." Sabishii, desu ne? It's lonely, isn't it? It seems like such a young hurt. Rien can frame everything he does as spiritual, but to me, he's dressing up what it is - self-abandonment. "It hurt too much to try and look after myself, so I gave up." An absence, an absence of love and support, parent to child, that stretches back endlessly.
The other thing that's sad, to me, is the magical thinking of it? "No point in getting this fixed, because any day in the future, Ryoshu will be home." Corollary: "if I fix it, it's like saying to myself, 'she might not come back'" - again, the uncertainty is unbearable. It seems almost ritual to me, attempting to manifest that. And, again, you have a man who is not living in the present (if he is living at all).
In Canto 9, we learn a lot of the ways that Ryoshu's habits are inflected by her parents, and here's one that stands out to me - remember how in part 1, Ryoshu does something similar?
And to me, there's a magical thinking here too. "I'm stopping smoking because I'm absolutely going to get my daughter back, this is really going to happen" Corollary: "I cannot stand never getting my daughter back, because I cannot survive that loss, I cannot accept that she might be dead." Again, the uncertainty cannot be borne. This is a wound inherited from her family, and because her father could not overcome his wound, he taught Ryoshu his cope, instead.
As I'm fond of saying, you cope or you seethe.
This connects both Rien and Ryoshu, but also all of the sinners (and those of us that suffer). In hell, we live, lament.
but you know -
pain cannot define the past.
we were built to overcome endless mishaps.
We can accept that suffering is a fundamental part of existing.
We can focus on suffering.
But...
When will the waves be happy?
And how are they feeling today?
How are they feeling, right now. Right this instance.
We're alive. Live, live, live; this is our only life, our only self, our only now.
[much love to you all.]
<3