Knock knock! Hi, it's your wake-up call! Pt. 2
One day you woke up feeling terrible. Then somehow you started remembering all the times in the past when you felt this terrible. Soon everything started to go wrong. You got yelled at. A friend bailed out on you on a meetup last second. And why on earth are you suddenly remembering when all the kids in school mocked you that one time and when-
Are you familiar with this? Are you enjoying it? Because the old man is. He's having the time of his life, feeding on your discomfort and 'terrible' feelings, on your UnIqUe CiRcUmStAnCeS
And fr, I'm tired of the old man's BS! When will you?
The old man is only powerful when you believe in his illusions, his sob stories, his BS. You can look at the old man, sure, but look at him only to learn from him. To not become like him anymore. Don't identify with him, his time is gone, isn't it? Besides, the past isn't even a tangible object, you're so freakin' powerful that it's YOU who actually sustains it, keeps it alive
This is the amazing truth that the old man would love for you to forget: You're the one who, by changing, can change THE WHOLE WORLD. If that isn't power, idk what is!
So get real with yourself. If you won't change, are you okay if you keep seeing the present inner reality be reflected in the 3d, tangible world for the next many decades?
Are you okay keeping the irritating, scared, bitter old man alive until you realise, at the end of your life, that you've become him, in the flesh? Idk about you, friend, but that sounds frightening. Yet if you choose to stay blinded, this is what could very well happen!
And if you're not okay, you do know what to do. For starters, starve the old man (go NC as they say!), write your new story, then embody that beautiful version of you (so instead of identifying with the old man, you're merely identifying with a consciously desirable you!), work on yourself (make a game plan, take your own notes coz only you know you the best, after all), build a kickass self concept, and go within (out) and create (experience) everything you've ever wanted
You've gotta open your eyes, ditch the delusions/illusions and realise, for yourself, how repulsive, ambition-less, pathetic, gross, whining, never trying, needy and clingy (ugh just no), desperate he is! He here isn't some stalker. He's the old man, the old woman, the old you!
And your comfort zone? It's the old man's pigsty. And you've being lounging in the muck and other unmentionable substances for so long, a part of you still thinks that without the old man, you'll die, that if you starve him (of your energy, time, ruminations, thoughts, attention etc), you'll get hunger cramps, that if you won't recount your 'special circumstances', those memories of helplessness and injustice, that argument, once more, for old times' sake, how will you move on?
Tis BS, my love, pure, unadulterated BS
Because you're the freakin' creator, that ring a bell? The sole operant power? Not the sole operated puppet, last time I checked!
Have you heard that saying about certain desperate people, who, when you offer them a pinky to hold on to (kindness, basic human decency), they'll straight up grab your whole hand? And they won't let go
If you're lucky, you'll only be left with an icky, disturbing after-taste of that encounter
And if you're not... Let's not go there
How does this relate to the old man?
Do you know every time you feel the need to 'explain' why you were in that old state, why you 'have' that pattern... The nasty old man is grinning the ghastliest grin ever? How your explanation, justification, identification, lamentation, fuming-over-past-injustice/wrongness/unluckiness whatever, is just like you dangling a pinky... And the old man grabbing onto your hand, making it even harder to let go?
Look, circumstances shouldn't matter. Neville himself said so. And since the Law is not some sentient, judgemental being that thinks 'oh yeah, his situation is harder coz he's gone through more stuff than that other guy'. Nope. If you feel the Law/universe/karma etc is like this? Guess what? You're clinging to the assumption that says this. You're choosing to keep it. And that's exactly what you'll experience...
Cycles continue to run, unless and until YOU choose to break 'em. The only savior is you
Forgive yourself for not knowing/being unaware/being in an undesirable state. This is why you gotta get clear with yourself. What brutal honesty with yourself is about. So what if at a point in life your parents kept affirming how life is harder for you and you guys alone? Again, be brave and accept that you hold, nah, I mean held this assumption. Just let it go, let it dissolve, knowing it's not desired, and knowing that in the light of infinitesimal love/truth, it was just a dominant thought pattern (which is how beliefs esp unquestioned ones from childhood come to be). This belief can't hurt you, friend. That nasty old man? He can't hurt you. In fact, the pain, the intense emotions, the tears shed at night... They're the old man whispering his limited, can't do, fear-ideas. Accept your human moments, but don't let (yourself let) them define you in the long run
You can choose your state of being. Any time. Every time. Don't buy into the old man's temptation of comfort and familiarity anymore
Truth being, you don't even need to hate him. After all, you created him, didn't you?
Remember, anything that's not love, that's not pure love, is an illusion. And the ONLY reason you will EVER see this illusion given solid shape in the 3d, in life, is because YOU give fuel to it in your inner reality, charge it with your faith and belief
It's time to leave the old man behind. And every time you find yourself feeding him your energy, time, lending him an ear... Don't forget you're letting him live longer. Don't forget you're hurting yourself by unnecessarily believing you need to relive guilt, inferiority, pain, helplessness, pessimism, brokenness and so on and so forth
Retract your pinky. Slam the door!
Don't settle for bread crumbs, pictures of bread (signs), bread look-alikes, mouldy bread (the old man's fave!), don't settle when you can have that bread and the whole world!
Pssst, NC. Old man. Now. Choose the best for yourself
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