Human Stuff

HEY IM BACK

[actualhumanyes]

oh god my blog’s a mess and i hope noone ever sees it

WE’RE DOING SKELETON WAR THIS YEAR BABY, HELL YEAH WIZARDS i do not want you to doot me. please for the love of wizards, do not come into my inbox just to doot me. there will be no consequences but please spare me anyway

[actualhumanyes]

Because it’s apparently become necessary to say:

I DO NOT WANT TRANSPHOBES AND RADFEMS AROUND ME. IF YOU ARE A TRANSPHOBE OR A RADFEM, AT LEAST TRY AND GO LOOK AT MY BLOG BEFORE FOLLOWING. SEE THAT WE DO NOT SHARE OPINIONS. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

[zhoudadudugongjin]

Look I love unconditional devotion love stories as much as the next person, but there's really something so deliciously raw about conditional devotion.

I have served you and I have loved you for decades, but I will not give up my principles for you. You cut out part of my heart and took it with you down that path that you insist on walking, but you walk it alone. Even when the bleeding, gaping hole you left in my chest kills me, I will not follow you.

[zhoudadudugongjin]

me everytime one of my seemingly non-specific homoerotic text posts breaks containment

[inthefallofasparrow]

[emil]

#MyAgonies

[emil]

official chronic pain post or something

[miniaturize]

i ❤ fact checking bold unsourced claims

[zonesoftime]

I like how looking for this post on your blog makes it look like you spent 3 hours checking whether or not apples are a type of fruit

[makingtrouble]

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

[makingtrouble]

Actually I've decided this is a poem

[wuggen]

Heard a car horn today that was tuned to a fifth. Fucked up, kinda delightful

[wuggen]

I want people to understand how jarring this was. Most car horns are either a single tone or two tones somewhere in the neighborhood of a minor third apart:

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

Pretty normal rush hour sounds, yeah? But this thing sounded something like this:

Visit Original Link

Fucked up! Didn't even realize it was a car horn at first, I didn't know what the fuck it was! It was weird as hell!

[fictionvssleep]

[bafahy]

New procedure

[bafahy]

FAQ for this post:

The trans guy neck hump, or “dowagers hump” is not exclusive to trans men but it is a result of a specific hunching posture trans guys often use to hide their tits. It’s barely noticeable to the average person so it’s not worth getting insecure about, but there are ways to get rid of it. I got rid of mine with lifting/stretching/being more aware of my posture.

Many have noticed that the medical professional is wearing a San Francisco Giants jersey, this is because it’s legendary baseball player Barry Bonds who holds the record for most home runs in a single career, making him the most qualified man for this maneuver.

[voldemo]

My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian 

[voldemo]

its like ive never seen herbivore

[ezekestiel]

i sighed so loud my mom asked me if i was okay and she’s two rooms away

[figglypuff]

[necrolentil]

Goddamit i hate this fucking post. I hate it because obviously if “twelve” followed the same pattern as the other teen numbers it wouldn’t be “twoteen” it would be “seconteen”. Think about it. It’s not “threeteen” it’s “thirteen” as in “third”. It’s not “fiveteen” it’s “fifteen” as in fifth. So with that in mind, you count “first, second, third, fourth, fifth,” and so on, so eleven would be “firsteen” and twelve would be “secondteen” or “seconteen”. “Firsteen, seconteen, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen….” It just drives me absolutely mad everytime i see this post that this obvious pattern was overlooked and i cant hold in my rage anymore.

[improper-integral]

[muttonschlops]

I think this is exactly why thirteen is considered a ‘bad luck’ number.

Eleven and twelve have special names because as humans we can count to 12 on our fingers. But if we need to count to thirteen we’re outta fingers, bad news.

[tigerator]

interesting hypothesis! i have a question,

[cottoncandyrhythmqueen]

[50-shades-of-cloaca]

[cottoncandyrhythmqueen]

You come to my post and try to out-perform me.

[bite-sized-thembo]

why is Mr. Eggman ping pong smacking Bibble

[justsomeguycore]

but there actually are some social cues that can be taught. like the obvious one is when someone says “how are you” they usually mean “friendly noise” and are not actually asking how you are, although some people ARE genuinely asking how you are and it’s usually up to the context of your relationship to determine the difference

also that apparently “when you get a chance” usually means “when you take a break from the thing you’re immediately doing” and not “on a list among various other things you are doing today or tomorrow”

and when someone says “i’ll let you get going” they mean “please leave”

[justsomeguycore]

oh and you have to learn to weaponize “thank you for your understanding”. which means “there is nothing you can do about this so accept it”

[druidquest]

words of affirmation for those seeking a werewolf girlfriend

[t-auto]

[were-ralph]

[worst-roommates-ever]

i think americans should have to put a banner above their post that says U.S. CENTRIC ADVICE/INFORMATION. i think political posts should clarify that they are giving protest/societal/class information relevant only to the USA i think i would like to stop getting halfway through a post with really good information and then realising it is not widespread advice and is only applicable in the united states of america

[worst-roommates-ever]

for the love of GOD can we PLEASE stop treating us-centric advice as applicable to the whole entire world. Please. beyond anything else, i do not think you guys understand how difficult it makes it for young people to interact with and learn information relevant to them.

at a certain point, treating us-american advice as universally applicable borders on misinformation. i am not saying that it is done maliciously, but it is dangerous at worst. i do not want younger people going around assuming that certain laws do/do not apply to them and getting in trouble because of it. i worry about what 'fundamental/constitutional/labour rights' are only legally defensible in the USA. i worry about kids who do not know yet to wonder where the advice is for, and take it as fact because a post that reads "EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW THIS" begins with "EVERYONE".

[worst-roommates-ever]

okay yes all the tags are very very good points but i would like to point out the main reason i made this post, which is that

if you are non-american then it can be dangerous to hold beliefs about your rights that are only applicable in the US.

i am australian and i have seen young australians have completely us-american perceptions on the rights they hold (or do not hold) in regards to protest, police officers, self-defense, medical care, higher education, debt, and legal proceedings. i am not talking about "boooo americans" i am talking about the genuine danger it might present to have us-centric assumptions in high-stakes situations

(please do not chalk this up to 'if you don't do research then you are stupid'. i made this post with young people in mind. that being said i am willing to bet it also applies to others, ie those who are newer to non-local internet, older folks, or those escaping high-control environments.)

[thatneoncrisis]

i return with exciting news- after several months i have finally completed my kink ABC project. 26 handdrawn illustrations of lesbian erotica, featuring characters that will be appearing in @notedchampagne and my comic, I Think I'm Too Mean

I'd love to get these all into physical prints or bags or t-shirts or pins for sale. i was thinking about redbubble and even set up a store, but a few of these are straight up pornography which violates thier guidelines. if you all have any ideas and are interested in seeing the rest of them i would love to hear it

[linuxbian]

DESPERATELY trying to find the source of this image. where do you come from. i need to find you. you're like my dead wife

[crowthingexe]

watching a random video and j&h was brought up and they said that “it warns against science and progress” or smt which if making me giggle for some reason. sir you sound like hastie lanyon.

[the---hermit]

"is it better to read non fiction or novels?" No. It is better to read than not to read full stop. That is the only argument. Let's not create yet another fake scale of who is a better reader. I am so fucking tired of this kind of discourse. If you only read graphic novels you are still reading and that is better than not reading. If you only read middle grade books despite being in your 30s you are still reading and that is better than no reading. If you read one single book a year it is still good because you are reading. And that makes you a reader.