I'm an old woman and I don't understand tumblr.

Healer IRL

[guerrillatech]

[ashelyskies-deactivated20241121]

YUP.

God, I’m so tired of this point being intentionally twisted into something antagonistic.

[transrapeculturemisogynyreceipts]

You are against sexual boundaries which makes you a creep :) guilting is coercive

[ashelyskies-deactivated20241121]

Okay, I’ll say it once again, because it’s been twisted again.

Not wanting to sleep with someone is fine.

Having a genital preference is fine.

Not being attracted to someone is fine.

You’re allowed to have sexual boundaries.

For the fiftieth time, no one is saying you have to sleep with trans people.

But if you are attracted to someone. Then you find out they’re trans and that attraction turns to disgust... that is transphobic.

Just like it would be biphobic if you were attracted to someone until you found out they were bisexual, and then you were disgusted.

I’m not against sexual boundaries.

Hell, I’m asexual. I want nothing to do with sex, at all.

Can y’all ‘gender critical’/’radfem’/whatever term you’re using to justify transphobia folks just let us live in peace? Thanks.

[transrapeculturemisogynyreceipts]

“you can have sexual boundaries but you’re a bigot for having them” that is guilting and coercive. you are a rape apologist piece of shit!!! if people find out you are NOT the sex they are attracted to it’s not bigotry manipulative asshole. if someone perceived you based on a false assumption & then knew you did not fit their sexual orientation it’s perfectly fine! If a gay man finds out someone is female & he doesn’t like females he’s not transphobic.

oh and “genital preference” is homophobic fucking language sexuality isn’t a “preference” being gay isn’t a choice or “preference” you ARE against sexual boundaries and if you dislike sex stop telling people WHO they should and shouldn’t have sex with you fucking idiot. people being forced to sleep / date with someone they don’t want to is rape / conversion which your dumbass probably would care about if people told you YOU had to have sex. Shut the fuck up and don’t speak. Because of people like you and stupid posts like this so many people have been raped & coerced into sex by trans people, forced themselves because on no they’re a bigot otherwise. YOUR GOAL is to make people sleep with them and date them or you wouldn’t tell them they’re a bigot and need to change that. That is your intention 100% do it or you’re a bad person.

[blackswallowtailbutterfly]

Once again, initial attraction means fuck all and plenty can change. I’m a straight woman and one of my preferences is for men who are taller than me. How much taller doesn’t matter. But if I see a man sitting and find his face attractive it doesn’t make me anti-short people if he later stands up and turns out to be shorter than me. Now, that’s just preference. Over time, maybe it will change, though that’s certainly not going to happen if people start badgering me over it.

Sexual orientation is quite a bit different. That can’t be changed at all. Not that the vast majority of trans-identified males even pass, but for those that do, it is absolutely normal for a lesbian woman or a straight man to lose any and all attraction upon learning this person is indeed male. Likewise, someone I believed to be a man could fit all my preferences outwardly, but if I found out she was female that would be it for me. I have zero desire to interact sexually with a woman, regardless of how she identifies. Still have yet to have a single trans-identified female badgering me in my inbox, though. Can’t imagine why that is...

Anyway, activism isn’t opening your legs or offering your mouth or anus. You can use all the weasel words you want, but you are still advocating for rape by coercion.

[exjade]

Oh, please. All these "you are a transphobe" arguments are completely null when you consider that like 99% of straight males would go absolutely mental if you tried to switch their porn from having vaginas to having penises. But mysteriously you never see TRAs trying to guilt straight males into not caring what genital they're into. It's just easy to pick on women so everyone picks on radical feminists. No really, go up against the absolute majority of straight males and tell them that they need to like penis as much as they like vagina so long as the person having it identifies as female. You'd never do that. Just like it's extremely rare that I see a "lesbian trans woman" who is attracted to another "lesbian trans woman," somehow they're always attracted to biological women for some strange reason, which is so weird considering that biology shouldn't matter.

[radfemsafe-deactivated20220201]

“Women can be rapists too!”

This is true. Women are capable of raping people. You would think, considering that women are often left to raise and care for the most vulnerable in society (nursing, teaching, elderly care) that we would hear a myriad of stories coming out about how women in mass numbers are molesting and raping the most vulnerable. You don’t care about that though. In fact, despite having less access, it’s men who rape most. If women can rape, why is it that even though they have more opportunities to do so, they don’t?

More importantly, why do men?

[sighing-is-a-song]

It’s not men. It’s males. Men aren’t the only ones who rape, boys do.

“Women rape, too”

Literally more men get sexually assaulted by other men then they do by women.

[exjade]

Someone in their 20s: “Back in the faraway and long ago era that was 2017...”

Me, at 44 (somehow?!?!?), who feels that 2001 was yesterday: “I literally still have the same tabs open in my browser that I opened in 2017, is it a different year now?”

[dykemind]

i diagnose you with female socialization

[dykemind]

do you ever notice how women will make a religion out of wallowing in the mud they were born in. it's not beautiful or romantic. slap yourself hard and start acting normal

[exjade]

I have come to realize that the only way that we will ever get a story or book where women are actually represented well and that is actually empowering to female readers is if you took a book-- any book-- and switched all the male characters with female characters and vice-versa. As it is, I have yet to come across a single book, including radical feminist fiction, including books on matriarchy, that weren’t misogynistic. Misogyny is just so deeply-ingrained in our minds that even when people try to write books that are feminist or empowering to women they still come out massively misogynistic and women are still always second-class citizens. 

[exjade]

I am so tired of how nowadays every single drama I try to watch - and I hardly ever watch TV - just HAS to get into the trans topic. Every single one! And now video games too! All about trans stuff, constantly! Why does EVERYTHING have to be about them?? 

[rad-feminism]

Why you hate radical feminism

“This ‘modern’ feminism only promotes hate! It’s about EQUALITY!” You being complacent with the society we live in that does it’s best to protect rapists, force women to adhere to strict standards to be considered socially acceptable, warns women daily about how it is their responsibility to protect themselves from being sexually harassed and abused while simultaneously spewing out garbage like “boys will be boys” when witnessing male violence, makes huge profits from the insecurity of women that it has instilled in us IS PROMOTING HATRED.  The hatred of women. The hatred of girls. And if you don’t see this, you are obviously deluding yourself or living in a magical fantasy land, can I join you? Because I for one, am fucking sick of being viewed as a being so easily swayed by their hormones that people actually use that as a fucking reason to stop women from rising to positions of power. I am tired of being told that my humanity is ugly, and to be “beautiful” and “natural” I have to purchase 20 products to erase that which makes me human in order to be the flawless ideal created by men and named “woman”.  I am also so very angry because I have been socialized to ENJOY this. I have been brought up to LIKE covering myself up to appear closer to the male created images jumping out at me from everywhere. I am so angry because I have been conditioned. And you should be to.  You should be angry too, you aren’t an equal and you never will be so long as this patriarchy exists. You will always be the inferior.  You have a criteria to fill and if you don’t, they will make you feel like shit about it. Do you know what EQUAL is?  It is not the world where millions of girls are being mutilated to “control” them, sexually.  It is not a world where a girl child is killed in the day she is born because she has a vagina. It is definitely not a world where you are being manipulated and conditioned.  Men don’t care much about liberal feminism, you know why? Because it does nothing. It is the comfortable place where they know that women are under the delusion that they are making a difference, but it does not affect them in any way. So they let you turn feminism into a game of profit. Because it benefits them.  Feminist makeup! Feminist porn!  It’s really laughable, because it all benefits them. It keeps them comfortable and happy.  You hate radical feminists? You hate radical feminism?  Because it’s full of hate? The world is full of hate for us, and suddenly when we aren’t smiling in 6 inch heels with a face full of makeup, it turns into “angry man hating lesbians”.  Because that’s the worst you can come up with, right? Women who don’t need you. Women who don’t need men, that is the worst kind of woman and that is the label you put on us.  What could be worse?! Gender non conforming AND not attracted to men! What a waste of a uterus!!

[californiagoddess]

When you're a woman the world doesn't want you to love yourself. It wants you to desperately love everyone else and have insecurities that you'll shell out money for but you're expected to always put yourself last. It makes me so sad when women want stuff like makeup or cosmetic treatments for their birthdays. What a fucking waste. You don't even see yourself most of the time so it's very transparently for everyone else, so your appearance meets their expectations of how you "should" look.

Anyway it's very hard for us to love ourselves because of the world we live in. But it's so worth it

[exjade]

Very well-said; also--

Whenever you meet a woman who is very, very, very sweet and nice - then chances are that this is a woman who constantly, perpetually feels that there’s stuff deeply wrong with her, that she is guilty of horrible things, and needs to apologize constantly. She is extremely nice because she feels that she needs to apologize for her very existence and try as best she can to appeal to others so they won’t hate her. It’s not a good thing that her personality is like this. 

[thesaltofcarthage]

Sometimes both of these thoughts are true. Some women are afraid to be in the world without a shield of makeup because they don’t want anyone to see them without the socially prescribed mask, and they apologize if they bump into a lamppost.

And sometimes women put on makeup because it’s their art. It’s their form of expression. They don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks. The confidence and happiness they feel is for them, not a performance for others. 

And sometimes women are nice because they have good hearts and they are kind, not because they are damaged and ashamed to take up space. They can be sweet and nice when the situation calls for it and then become Raging Bitch Momma Bear when necessary. 

So sometimes the makeup and the sweetness are self-love. 

[californiagoddess]

If they don't give a fuck what anyone thinks then why do they need the makeup? Again, they can't see themselves. Please learn critical thinking before commenting on my posts thanks

[itsslayingabsolutepenis-deactiv]

“The confidence and happiness they feel is for them, not a performance for others.” absolutely brain dead take. why do they feel confident when they put make up on? what is the source of the confidence? could it be that they look sexier, younger, amplifying their attractive features? is the confidence they feel ~for themselves~ not entirely based on how much they are adhering to coercive, oppressive, patriarchal beauty standards? all femininity is a performance. you can feel happy performing for the male gaze or you can not be happy and abstain, but don’t act like women only wear sexy clothes and make up for themselves. any confidence is derived from the benefits of performing femininity in a patriarchal society. it’s not bad to want to feel sexy enough to attract a male partner but MY god this willful ignorance is getting old.

[exjade]

Exactly agreed with californiagoddess and itsslayingabsolutepenis - what really blows my mind is that all the “wearing makeup and revealing clothes is empowering” people somehow don't take into account that, mysteriously, wearing makeup and revealing clothing is never “empowering” to males. It’s mysteriously only “empowering” to women. This blaring, obvious matter never even crosses their mind as they fight tooth and nail to defend how “empowering” it supposedly is. Like how is it that it isn’t a form of ~art~ for males?? How is it that it doesn’t give males ~confidence~ just for its own sake? How could this be?? 

(And no, please don’t give me the BS about how “~~~some~~~~ males wear makeup and revealing clothes!!” - Because by far and wide it’s not males who wear makeup and revealing clothes, it’s females, and they are the ones who are made to feel like they have no significance if they don’t do these things.)

[exjade]

I have noticed that in what few fictional books there are about matriarchies, the plot is pretty much always “but the matriarchy was bad, and by the end of the book a new order is established where women and men are treated equally.”

This really irritates me.

You might think “oh but isn’t equality the thing that we should all strive for? Isn’t this good?”

We live in a patriarchy, and pretty much 99.99% of all stories, movies, shows, books, etc that exist take place in a patriarchy. And in pretty much none of those stories is the patriarchy overcome by the end of the story in order to reach an equal society. The stories just take place in a patriarchy from start to finish, and female audiences/readers just have to accept that women are, have always been, and will always be second-class citizens in this story. In pretty much every single story. Just like in our current real-world society.

Even the stories where there’s some strong female protagonist who achieves something don’t overcome the patriarchy: first off, she pretty much always needs to be young and pretty in order to have importance in the story. Second, even if she achieves something great in the story, the vast majority of important, strong people in the story will still be male, and most of the females in the story will still be second-class citizens. The patriarchy is not overcome in these stories. It continues to exist.

So why is it that in the extremely small number of stories out there that take place in a matriarchy, the matriarchy can’t just go on existing? Can’t we have at least some stories where males are treated as second-class citizens from start to finish, the way that females are ALWAYS treated in ALMOST EVERY SINGLE STORY IN EXISTENCE?

Why is it always “but then the [young and beautiful and sexy] female protagonist recognized that the male was so SMART and so POWERFUL and so SPECIAL and so BRILLIANT and she realized how he needs to be as important as she is!!” - FUCK THAT, every single story in existence ALREADY tells you TIME AND AGAIN AND AGAIN how fucking important males are!!! Stop apologizing for writing a matriarchy! 

[nombresvacios-deactivated202208]

Love the post

But in a matriarchy males are not second class citizens, they are just very small in number and not important. A matriarchy is not the opposite of a patriarchy.

[exjade]

Thank you so much for your comment! 

Gosh you know, regardless of this, we’re talking novels that are about completely imaginary science fiction and fantasy societies, on other planets that don’t exist in reality - so I don’t think that asking to see males treated as second-class citizens in a matriarchy would be too much of a stretch. If talking trees and purple people with five arms is possible, then I think they can allow me the pleasure of seeing males treated like garbage in a matriarchy for once. I badly need to see it. And I have no qualms about saying this - the number of males who very openly and comfortably talk about wanting to see women treated like garbage (and who actually do treat women like garbage) is astronomical, I badly want to see males treated horribly for once in a society dominated by women, it would be very therapeutic to me. 

[exjade]

For everyone acting like “the pandemic is over”:

https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/982653?src=wnl_mdpls_pos5_neur_221021_MSCPEDIT_neur&uac=155410SZ&impID=4776936

One third of people who had covid continue to experience long-term covid afterward, which has cognitive impairment in the brain and other neurological deficits, and increases risk for neurological illnesses like Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. 

[freshlens4-deactivated20240405]

Female class solidarity means supporting your sisters in law when they complain about your brothers. Supporting your husband’s friends wife over your husband’s friend. And just generally being nicer and more allegiant to women around you.

[exjade]

This is extremely important. Patriarchy conditions us to antagonize other women, especially women we don’t know and have only heard about. This way we can’t have solidarity and males can continue to oppress us. Whenever I meet a guy who had a girlfriend or wife I immediately think that I would rather be friends with her than with the guy. 

[freshlens4-deactivated20240405]

You know how as soon as a man shows interest in decorating himself people call him gay? I have a theory...society simply cannot comprehend a man trying to please a womans gaze. Doesn't matter your gender, if you're trying to doll up, it's for a man.

[exjade]

This is precisely it.

In a video game I, a woman, got tired of seeing how female characters’ outfits are always borderline pornographic, so I made a male character who was dressed in a similarly revealing manner. Very regularly guys in the game call my character “gay.” One time I explained to a guy who called me “gay” that I’m female in real life. He said, “a gay female?!” - like he couldn’t comprehend... that I as a straight female would want a male to please me visually. Just as OP has said, “if a male is visually pleasing, then it must be for another male.”

[miseducatedmelanicmuse]

[femmessias]

unironic advice i would give to all women because for men this is the default

[exjade]

What femmessias said is EXACTY what I have been thinking. 

[freshlens4-deactivated20240405]

Let me make one thing very clear: men benefit from keeping us financially dependent on them.

[exjade]

So in Warcraft’s current expansion they made a trans man literally the single most important person in all of creation.

You know, like - a woman had to “become male” in order to have importance. Also, in this storyline the trans man replaced a “regular woman” (ie, a woman who didn’t decide she was trans) in gaining this important position. So it was a woman becoming trans and then throwing women under the bus-- because,  you know, “cis women” are so privileged and need to be put in their place. 

I am really getting sick of how there’s nothing you can watch or read or play nowadays that doesn’t start focusing on how important trans people supposedly are. No one was fucking talking about this ten years ago. 

[eves6through8]

men don’t realize that they understand the point of women’s liberation, but they do. they understand it very well.

every time a dude says some shit like, “oh, you’re for equality of the sexes? does that mean I can hit you?” he is demonstrating his perfect understanding of the shortcomings of egalitarianism.

men target women for not being men, but men don’t only target women. men also beat the shit out of each other. men rape each other. men kill each other. men treat each other like absolute shit.

virtually all of the violence that occurs on this planet is committed by males, whether it’s committed against females or against other males. men tell us every day, in no uncertain terms, that they believe “equality” means “violence.” equality with these barbarians? I think not.

liberation from their generations-old, ironclad system of perpetual violence and destruction? yes, please. sign me up.

“A commitment to sexual equality with men is a commitment to becoming the rich instead of the poor, the rapist instead of the raped, the murderer instead of the murdered.” –Andrea Dworkin

[exjade]

The “oh you’re all for equality, in that case can I hit you” argument has always irritated me for several reasons:

First off, the socially-ingrained ideal is for women to be as physically weak and frail as possible. Yeah, a woman could conceivably work out and build major muscle mass to the point where she could beat up the average guy - but this is so socially unacceptable that she would have to choose between being able to beat up a guy and being seen as a freak - when it’s drilled into females’ minds from birth that in order to have any worth they need to be “pretty and sexy.” 

So first make it socially acceptable for the average woman to work out and build muscle mass, the way it is for males - and then maybe talk about “can I punch you.”

Second, if equality is measured by whether or not you can punch and hit people, then does that guy think that really enormous, big bullies who beat him up in elementary school have the right to beat and punch him as they please, because anyone can just beat and punch everyone? Or does it only suit him when the person he’s punching is smaller? You’ve seen plenty of guys still whine and cry well into their thirties about the bullies that beat them up in elementary school - do you suppose they would suddenly see it as fair if anyone just go to hit anyone they wanted because that’s “equality”? Of course not.

Another thing I really want to point out, because this irritates me so much, is this completely mistaken assumption that so many people seem to have that “males are physically superior.” In actuality, women are physically superior: women live longer on the average and have way fewer illnesses than males, and there is a biological reason for this: because there are virtually no genes on the Y-chromosome, then if there’s something wrong with a gene on the X-chromosome, then women will usually have a second normal copy, while males will not. This is why almost all illnesses that vary by sex are more common in males-- especially when it comes to cardiovascular illnesses-- but also in many others such as colorblindness, baldness, and even in-utero failure to thrive (most spontaneously aborted fetuses are male). So this thing that males love to wave around about how they think they are presumably “the superior sex” is just so fantastically ignorant, it’s just plain wrong from a scientific and medical perspective-- if anything they are definitely the inferior sex no matter how you look at it. 

So yeah, physically the sexes are definitely not equal: women are, on the average, much healthier and live longer than males. As you can see, the physical situation clearly does not translate into how the sexes ought to be treated in terms of rights-- or otherwise women would be treated as a far superior class socially considering their medically-proven, scientifically-documented physical superiority. 

Finally, the “lol if you’re all for equality then can I punch you” brilliance assumes that males don’t already beat up, punch, physically abuse and literally murder women all the time. They already fucking do that and have done that for ages. Women have had to put up with their violent shit for ages. The implication is that “oh, you women have had it so comfortable because we went easy on you” - like what fucking planet are you living on, males are such a huge threat to women that they should all be put under restraints for this reason alone, instead of being allowed to be in charge of shit. 

[pinklovelypinkie]

[exjade]

Isn’t it funny how... no matter how many “Disney princess” movies there are about women of color... the princesses you almost always see stamped all over everything are the white ones... 

Like oh, I suppose in this one they included Jasmine there in the back as an afterthought...